8 Ways to Make a Man Feel like a Man

June 9, 2011  |  
6 of 9


The male ego is a fragile one.

Like women, men need to know you care, that you are appreciative and that you love them. Just as daily compliments and sweet kisses make us feel feminine and pretty, there are similar things we can do for our men to help validate their masculinity. The things we say and do mean much more than they lend us to believe. Seldom do men admit to their specific emotional needs but, in many ways, they want the same things. Your man wants to feel loved; he wants to feel attractive; he wants to feel capable and needed.

Meetings those needs doesn’t take a lot of money or require rocket science. As with all relationships, ultimately, it is the small (but far from minor) things that count. Has your man been down in the dumps? Or are you looking to keep his spirits high? Here are a few tips for helping your man feel like the man he is:

1.       Let him order for you.
Ask him to take you to one of his favorite restaurants and insist he order for you. Since it’s his spot, he will enjoy selecting something he’s certain you will like. And, if you don’t, send it back and let him try again.

2.       Attend his company events.
If you and your guy work in different industries, this is the perfect chance to let him professionally flex his arm candy. Men are often proud of the women they love, so let him bask in showing you off.

3.       Make his plate.

Waiting on your man lets him know he is special and you want to take care of him. Whether you are visiting in-laws, attending a cookout or eating Chinese takeout at home, make a plate for the booskie—at least every once in a while. He will feel like he’s doing his job and be inspired by your appreciation.

4.       Put him in charge of the directions.
Men like to think they are good at following and remembering directions. When he insists on knowing how to get somewhere, say O.K. Better yet, put the ball in his court and suggest he take the responsibility. You know, because he’s so gifted.

5.       Give him full reign in the bedroom.
Don’t speak just moan and give your man complete control. Let him flip you up, down, over, under—whatever he wants (within predetermined parameters, of course). Talk dirty, scream and groan so he can take credit for the bad girl moment. He will fall asleep feeling like a stallion.

6.       Teach him to drive while pleasured.
Men love oral sex, especially when it’s uninhibited and spontaneous. Unzip his pants while he’s driving and make that trip to church a little more exciting.

7.       Give him a massage.
Ease him into the night after a long workday with a pre- or post-shower massage to help relieve tension. Verbalize how hard you know he works and how much you admire his ambition.

8.       Thank him.
It doesn’t have to be for anything out of the ordinary. In fact, it will probably go farther if it isn’t. Focus on the small things like how he always opens doors or takes the initiative to make minor repairs around your condo. Let him know you are thankful to have a man who can care for you.

LaShaun Williams is a lifestyle and relationship columnist, blogger and social critic. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio and AOL Black Voices. She has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. Williams is also the founder of Politically Unapologetic, a blog where she unabashedly discusses culture, life and love. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook.

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  • I Know What You’re Thinking

    Ridiculous article. The headline in itself proves how ridiculous it is. You cannot make a man feel like a man. Either he feels like a man or he doesn’t. No more than he can make you feel like a woman.

    • I Know What You Are Thinking

      After continuing to read the entire article, this is just as ludicrous as I thought. 1. I am a grown woman who is intelligent enough to order for myself. >How does doing this make him feel like a man? Giving a man pleasure while driving a moving vehicle is extremely dangerous. It’s worse than texting and driving. Where do you people get your information? Have you even tried any of these techniques to make YOUR man feel like a man? Do you even have a man? If so why is it that he needs YOU to make him feel like one?

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  • Angela C Cook

    well, #6 doesn’t seem safe, but I’m down for the rest

  • morticha

    The trip to church is the only thing I haven’t done and that’s because he drives like an asshole….he still cheated on me anyway.

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  • Vonne Rodriguez

    This is not something you associate with the Lords house. You could have named any other place, movies, grocery store, date night etc., where is your tact Madame?

  • Lisa Bedford Carter

    OK, head on the way to church? NO! Even while driving is too dangerous but to be spontaneous and pull the car over, well, there is something to be said about that. 😉 (but still not on the way to church). After reading some of the other comments, I do want to say that these are not tools to make an insecure man feel like a man, but to show your man he is appreciated as he should be doing for the woman as well. These are just some ideas, its not the Bible nor the law. I know the things on the list that I do for my man makes him feel good and that makes me feel good. He’s secure in himself and in me without them, but I still like making him feel good, the same way he makes me feel.

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  • Blow job while driving? That’s dangerous, reckless, and illegal. Let him order for you? I don’t know a single guy, besides narcissist, control freaks and egomaniacs that like the pressure of ordering for the lady, it makes them look childish, like they don’t have a voice and can’t speak or form opinions for themselves. Sure talk over the food with him and ask what he thinks is good, but you should order for yourself, this isn’t 1945. I’m sure there’s plenty of things to make a man feel good about himself that doesn’t involve speaking for you and engaging in dumb behavior.

  • Blow job while driving? That’s dangerous, reckless, and illegal. Let him order for you? I don’t know a single guy, besides narcissist, control freaks and egomaniacs that like the pressure of ordering for the lady, it makes them look childish, like they don’t have a voice and can’t speak or form opinions for themselves. Sure talk over the food with him and ask what he thinks is good, but you should order for yourself, this isn’t 1945. I’m sure there’s plenty of things to make a man feel good about himself that doesn’t involve speaking for you and engaging in dumb behavior.

  • I love this magazine, even better than Cosmopolitan, which I’ve read since I weas 16, but yea, I’ve done some of these things, the oral while driving but not to church! LOL! another thing is wear a skirt without panties and go to the movies, move his hand about half way thru and it will make him soo passionate after the movie is over!!

  • lala x

    this list is ok

  • I agree with them all!!!!!!!!! If your man/woman don’t treat you right he/she is probably not the one you want anyway.


    A woman can’t make a man ‘feel like a man’.

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  • Sasha

    Reading some of these comments really make me sad. OBVIOUSLY these aren’t tips that need to be applied to insecure, ungrateful or lazy men. Not every man should be catered to, just like every women shouldn’t be spoiled either. You appreciate someone who DESERVES it. If you PICK the RIGHT man, none of these tips look crazy to you. I too have dated a lazy unappreciative man and he certainly didn’t get ANY of this!!! But when I decided I wanted better and GOT better I found a person that deserved this and so much more. And I get more from him that I EVER could have imagined in return!

  • This is sarcasm at its worst.  She can’t be for real!!!!!!!!!

  • this is a joke, I’m convinced. 

  • Dbgtmom

    Did the author learn nothing from the allegations that Teddy Pendergrass’ near-fatal car crash in 1982 was caused by such extra-curricular sexual activitiesz? Not practicing safe sex by any means here.

  • Interesting, coming from a woman, none of these things make me feel like a man. For me, the feeling of manliness comes totally from within, and not externally from a woman. Women, get to know your man by asking intelligent questions and LISTEN to his answer. Aha! there’s one(for a start): listen when your man speaks to you and shares his thoughts and feelings.

  • Melissaflowers

    Wow it’s funny how little thingd makes a different in a relationship.

  • Ruger121

    For everyone making post saying “going to hell” or “how u gone serve the lord with a dirty mouth” and things that are negative, remember what you do with your spouse sexually has no bearing on weather your a “good christian” or not. Its far worse happnin in the church with ppl that aret gettin head on the way there.

  • Thickdime

    Well I have done the moving car thing and no one was hurt soooo…also if you are married…on the way to church aint so bad (yes I said aint)…God sanctioned all sexual intercourse during the marriage so why do we put dos and donts on when and where we have sex…God sees you everywhere you go so if it is on the way to church…do it…just make sure you fix yourselves up before entering the building!

  • Geneva S.

    Ok why does it have to a trip to church though? LOl #jusayin

  • Tori

    I have done them all and my man is satisfied… I dont do that on the way to church but coming home after a movie… YEAH!! Just make sure your man is an excellent driver… and practice makes perfect… Practice on an empty street to guage his reactions…. Good luck! Keep an open mind!

  • TPATRICK6993

    My father was never there in my life, to teach me these MAN things, how to be responsible for myself and never be dependant on a woman, I wouldn’t even talk to a woman until i have my stuff together, cuz i dream of being the head of the house, i’m 25 and finaly convinced that i need some type of education to stay omongst modern society. It may take me a while longer but i’m determined to become the type of man a BLACK WOMAN would want in their life. BOTTOM LINE!!..I REFUSE TO HAVE A WOMAN TO TAKE CARE OF ME!!!!

  • Just to think!…I told her she could never get me to go to church!! I might have to reconsider!!

  • Ms. Gina

    I am willing to do ALL of this and some for a “Deserving Man”!

  • KT

    #9 is the most important.  Say “thank you” and mean it.  Being unthankful is a sure fire way to make sure the relationship ends.

  • Erickldennissr

    Not only that, but the Bible says that the marriage “bed” is undefiled, so if I choose to hook my husband up before church, so what?

    • anonymous black female

      lmao… lmao…



  • Donna DeMeo

    Father Jonathan Morris,

    Please tell Fox they should review what people write! Do you really think it's appropriate to pleasure a man
    in the car, on the way to church.

    Annoyed in San Antonio

  • Nurse

    Unzip his pants while driving??????? I'm sure the young woman who lost her right arm and is now paralyzed from the neck down (in the operating room where I work) would tell you that's her biggest regret in life! Do you really want to risk an accident when you are in such a precarious position? What an irresponsible, horrid suggestion.

  • Gracious

    I don know why ppl make a fuss out of this. this article is all about the things you can do 2 keep the relationship fun and at ease. i like everything mentioned here, maybe not 2 make him feel like a man, but 2 enjoy every moment with him. nothing wrong with that at all!

  • etta

    i totally agree mick…as a woman i think that what you guys want and need most is respect. so many of my gender think that sex, food, etc. are the keys to a man's heart. while those things can contribute, you guys are wired to be respected. case in point: a woman cooks a fabulous meal, gets dolled up for the night and before it's over cusses her man out. you see it all the time in public. i remember a man, an ex neighbor of mine. very nice, very good looking. one night he had a woman overnight. she got pregnant. now he's taking care of his child but guess what? she's not the one he married. she's alone and angry, he's happily married. why? all she had to offer was her body. his wife offered him respect and love. it happens all the time. i really wish women would understand that. but they don't. and yet they have the nerve to get angry at the woman who got the man they wanted because that woman knew how to really treat a man.

  • Pix..

    I dont understand these people… This article is very well put together… In this day and age we think toooooo much into relationships. Both men and woman should just relax and chill the fk out!!!! 1Whats wrong with giving him head while he's driving? NOTHING!!!! Men appreciate little simple things like these…. Because I let my man order for me at dinner means he's treating me like a child????? Something as simple as that just let it slide!!! Men have egoes and YES! It is his woman's job to make him feel more of a man! We women find all sorts of things unlady like and then wonder why we're single… smh…

  • Lala

    Oops, clearly you're still single. #IJS

  • Guest610

    I read the article & thought "interesting". Then I read many of the comments and thought "Oh my God! Why are these women so angry?" My life isn't perfect (married, divorced, raised 3 kids with little support, etc.) HOWEVER, I have no problem catering to someone I love. He caters to me as well. And my kids all cater to their spouse – as I taught them they should treat the woman in their lives as queens and in turn she will treat him as a king.

  • solong

    It not a woman role to make a man feel like a man,just like its not his role to make me feel like a woman. To treat him well and special is one thing. This is something you grow into and nurtured to be. Maybe that's why so many black men are choosing the gay life styles for role reversal where a man can make them feel like a woman.

  • MzMel

    The problem I have with this way of thinking is the suggestion that a person's manhood (or womanhood) for that matter can be controlled by someone else. It's similar to the whole "let your man be a man" comments. I'm sorry, but if someone else has the power to let or not let you be a man, then you aren't one and that has nothing to do with anyone but you. Same applies here. You feeling like a man shouldn't have anything to do with another person. That's all about you and how secure you are.

    Secondly, some of this stuff is silly. It just plays into the stereotypical gender roles that are being proven harmful every day. How about we treat each other as individuals, get to know each other, and simply treat each other with kindness, respect and love? Maybe then we wouldn't need silly articles like this one.

  • Dannny

    there nothing wrong with given him head before church as long as y’all married and there nothing wrong with treating him like a king because a really man treats u like a queen, we not talking about little boys but grown man so you get respect and treated like a queen from day one. know letting him pick my meal doesn’t make any sense to me

  • Anna

    And it's also about the mental well-being. While I am pandering to him, getting keyloids on my knees to please him, what's he doing for me?

    There are women out there that do all this and more and guess what? When the man dumps him, he moves on to the next chick that does nothing for no one and the girlfriend? She's the one that has to shoulder the brunt. For being so accommodating, she'll be blamed for being a doormat. And if she was the opposite, she'll be blamed for being too much of a "tight-ass".

    Men are allowed to move onto a relationship with the same flaws with little to no consequence. Meanwhile, women are supposed to go through emotional, psychological, physical gentrification.

    Let that wash. And let that set for a minute.

    • thesportinlife

      keyloids on your knees… lol ……was going to respond but that said it all right there.

      Ladies remember don't make your man feel like a man. Because you will get keyloids on your knees and end up in the hospital.

      • Anna

        You probably just stopped there and didn't bother to read the rest. That's just sad.

  • Folks have been hurt doing the Oral thing while driving. No.7 is a no-no anytime the car is moving.

  • The Duke

    This article just set women back 50 years lol


    im happily married, i cook all his meals,and serve my husband everyday!!!!! our house is clean and bills paid too!!!! and i'm black!! if you want to be a wife then you have to act like one!!!

    • thesportinlife

      where can we find a woman like you?

  • DEF

    The women that are complaining on here are the same ones that complain when they see a black man with a white woman. You have to do the little things to make your man happy. You may or may not realize it, but before a man thinks about leaving you, (which he's done multiple times) he thinks about these types of little things. Men try their best to find reasons to stay with you when things are tough. If you are someone who feels that you are above fixing a plate, letting him order the food, or being spontaneous, then you don’t need to be with him. At the least, do not try to pull that “he should be paying for my food because I am a woman” card. If you want to take advantage of gender roles, then you need to acquiesce.

  • Stephanie

    I totally agree with the 8 steps. I have been married for 14 years now and these are very true statements. It is a wife's responsibility to make her husband feel like a man. The problem is that we as women have become too dominant. I follow most of the steps outlined and learned a couple of new things. Men want to be made to feel like men. I take it a step further. I have no problem serving my husband because if I don't another women will.

  • Angie

    I really enjoyed the article except for the pleasing him on the way to church, do it before church. I done all these thing to my man for eight years and he still cheated and left. a man is going to be a man regardless and do what he wants no matter how well you treat him.

  • Mrs. Lee

    I like this article. 🙂 I do most of these things for my husband on a daily basis. But, I will say, I don't do it to make him "feel" like a man. I do it because I appreciate him and love him. I actually like and adore my husband. (except when he poots and pulls the covers over my head lmao!) He already feels like a man. He was raised to be a strong and understanding man. Thank you mother in law and father in law!

  • I really enjoyed this article. While I do almost all of these things, already. I now see that he appreciates them…My husband asks for massages a lot and, when I'm tired, I look at this as a burdensome task, but now I see it as a reward for him. I will definitely be more intentional in these areas now. 🙂 Thanks for the article.

  • thesportinlife

    there is always a conversation about what everyone is gonna eat when you first get the menus. The man listens to what the female wants and then tells the waiter when he comes.

    I don't get whats so hard to understand about that. he isn't randomly guessing, they've discussed it before the waiter comes. no need to send food back lol

  • Give him head on the way to church..Really??!…Even if they're married..something still aint right.

  • TJean

    Ok so I take it you're a bitter, single woman being that you both read and posted…dummy

  • kima

    A man should feel like a man all by himself. I can't do that for him nor should I feel it necessary. Otherwise I can't respect him.
    The basic principle is to treat people of any gender with consideration and kindness. And love,if that's relevant.

  • Steve

    Wow. Of course. Respect goes both ways. I interpreted this article as a 'once in a while' thing and not a daily event.

    • Thickdime

      I agree Steve those suggestions are in addition to the respect for you would not do these things to just some random guy…there fore a relationship including respect should have already been established.  These are things that you would do to spice up the life and remind a man that he is YOUR MAN.

    • Amanda Altamirano

      Yes, but be very careful. I am hearing this “respect” language being thrown all over out there and it’s like window dressing. You can’t respect a monkey and make him a man. Don’t waste your respect. At the end of the day it boils down to knowing who you are and being the person you are; not acting for someone else. If you know who you are, you will give respect at the proper time and not waste it.

  • chevey

    I like the way the young lady treats her man it's great, but as we all know after a few years most women won't barely spread their legs, let long offer up head at any time.

  • Mon

    Geesh, I stumbled upon this site by a mistake and after reading this and some other articles, I no longer wonder why black women end up in abusive relationships or alone. This is basically "make your man feel like king at all times" advice. Ahmm, he's not king, men and women are equal, it's time to start preaching that to minorities so that I don't have to keep paying for bringing up their children. No wonder all these black women who were interviewed in 2008 if they're gonna vote for Clinton or Obama, said that man comes before a woman. Amazing.

  • Enigma

    Thanks! Sorry for all the typos I was in a rush when I wrote it.

  • Tpe

    Girl please the VERY FIRST angry comments came from a group of disgruntled Black men/:brothas".So why go in on black women?

  • kch

    That pic of the dude driving is hilarious….y'all must've spent hours searching istock.

  • FirstLove

    I love your last sentence. "Offer what you expect of the guy…" Perfect. We should all teach our daughters that!

  • Jean

    Yep ego stroking lol.

  • hiswomanandlovingit

    the sad thing is it wouldnt matter how many articles are written to men on how to treat a woman well, men just arent gonna read them. that is the nature of men. if they feel that what they are doing is good enough then it is just that, good enough.

  • Denise

    I do all of this stuff and my man still acts like a d$%& fool.

  • Eugenia

    She's married, she's said that before. now are you?

  • xxx

    The last thing in the world a man is capable of doing is satisfying a woman in bed, why pretend that he does?
    Men need a lot of help in this area, not to mention unselfish desire , which is typically absent.
    I have no idea what 'fixing him a booksie' means.
    Sex, while driving to church, only endangers everyone else, thanks.
    Order your food for you? What is that? A total moron, who can't decide what she wants to eat? Is he a mind reader?

    Women are smarter than men. Why play that down.
    An insecure man, probably should be. He needs help , not lies and BS.

    • FirstLove

      Women and men are simply different in some ways- women are NOT smarter than men.
      Men ARE capable of satisfying women in bed. They are supremely built for it, but cannot know what to do unless you respectfully help them sometimes just as women cannot know what to do for the guy unless he respectfully helps her sometimes.
      We all need to be less selfish in that area and all other areas. I see no respect in your post- without it, how are you going to make any man happy?

  • nycgirl

    All else aside, can everyone please not do the "he orders for you, you don't like it, so send it back and let him try again" thing? Would you take a plate of good food and throw it in the garbage because it doesn't tickle your fancy? Because you know that's what the server is doing, right? Straight into the trash, as required by law. How many ways can we count the disrespect: to the chef, to the environment, to economic resources, the living things that died to make your food…I could keep going.

    How bizarre! If grandma could see you…

  • Sheena

    I couldn't even get past the 2nd page. This article is appalling! (1) "Let him order for you and if you don't like it, send it back."
    (1) Waste of food.
    (2) Waste of your server's time
    (3) Waste of the kitchen staff's time
    (4) Waste of good space on the internets

    I can't believe I just wasted 5 minutes reading this trash.

  • ok and where is are appreciation sometimes in doing that you tend to enable them and then they take you for granted…. not saying i don't do for my man but when does it become equal when we are going out of our ways to do the most for each other because we care and adore that person we are with…..____for those women who do it because they don't want to be alone and the man treats you bad then it becomes invain, so do be careful!!!! peace out

  • Glee2869

    I raised a Son as a single Mom, and sometimes I forget , I dont have to be in charge all the time, but appreciate the man that IS there and is a great companion. I enjoyed MOST of the tips in the article. I have notice that men enjoy when you give them praise, nice massage, encouraging "acts" on road trips…I don't feel it's degrading to allow a man to order for me when we are at a resturant sometimes, but i also enjoy when the man slows down and allows me to order first., opens the door for me, takes my purse, coat and bags as soon as I step in is place/house/apt., etc… small acts of kindness go a long way.

  • Schenukia Haynes Adams

    Wow!!! Really?!!?? On the way to Church?!!?? SMH..what the devil???

  • Enigma

    I was hoping for something a bit more insightful.. I thought this article might include things like 1. Supporting him. 2. Asking his advice on issues that are that are of importance to you. 3. Be open-minded to his ideas/suggestions and trying new things. 4. Trust him. 5. Let him teach you something 6. Be genuine in you admiration for him when you are talking about him. 7. Eliminate personal/intimate details of your love life from girl talk, keep it between you the two of you. 8. Talk to your man, not at him.

  • Aristotle

    Stop spreading false science!!

  • Jimbo

    anyone who disagrees with these has never been married. This is right on the money. All of this usually happens in the courting stages and then it ends. It has nothing to do with not feeling like a "man" elsewhere in your life or being insecure or making a woman subserviant. Its about doing things for each other to make your significant other feel they way they should. In most caes men want to be appreciated, looked up to and desired.

  • Monica S. Rizer

    IKR… i thought it was a great article…the comments are just a reminder of how many miserable women are out there. Sistas gotta kick that "i dont need a man" mentality…cos guess what?? YES YOU DO!

    • Tpe

      There are a lot of men that black women DON'T need believe it or not.Black women sitting here kissing the collective asses of people who do not matter because these people are not apart of their every day lives will not profit them anything.

      I don't know the type of relationships these women have outside the internet,do you?

  • abc

    LOL I knew a guy once who was getting some in a car. When the car got hit by another car she bit his thing. My hubby is to scared of doing it in the car now lol

    • Monica S. Rizer


  • Ms. Palmer

    I couldn't believe this either! I've done all of these things for my husband and guess what he is my ex-husband. I liked doing all of these things for him, but he didn't appreciate it, and I guess on to the next one. It's not about being submissive or back in the stone age..what happened to a woman and a man just having love a respect and everything we do for each other coming naturally out of love. Everything has become a contest and trying to solve the problem of divorce. Just relax have faith and your King will come ladies..or Queen..men!

  • sharon

    I was thinking the same thing. That's crazy!!! why on the way to church????

    • Tameki

      So they have something to repent for! 🙂

  • Dee

    thats what i said

  • Elizabeth

    Thank you for proving that we still live in a sexist world. You are a hypocrite! Your facebook pages states your a "feminist without the anger" yet you post this sexist, 50's era mentality article. Disgusting.

  • JCC

    Haha me too Nashawn mee too and I am in a library right now so I had to muffle my laughs

  • Joeclyde

    That is why you are single.

    • janice

      you don't know that she's single. she, like me, probably has a man who is self confident and doesn't need for me to be his servant to feel good. We treat each other like "people". The only time we recognize gender is in the boudoir and even there we are two self assured, confident equals, who please each other .
      Serve him food?? We make dinner together, we help each other…20+ years

  • Carmel Cunningham

    Lashun, I agree with you, but #6 Girl you are out there! I believe in spontanously, but on the way to church!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!

  • Sudoku Liang

    Honestly as I read through eacha and ever comment above me, one thing became clear …. Everyone is right and wrong in their own right. What is right for you may not be right for me, but to criticize the next because of the difference in opinion only further justifies our own stupidity. Simply put times have changed, people are individuals, and to each its own. Evidently this point of view for this post so controversial that the quote unquote bashers, Holy ppl, promiscuous, old fashioned, goodfellas, deadbeats, prudes, and bitter women and men had to bash the lives of others to gratify themselves …. its not the world we live in or the people in it, its how we CHOOSE to conduct ourselves #tru3stori3

    • Lamare

      hypocrite!you are criticizing those who criticize

  • I like this list of things to do to make your man feel like a real man. Damn I feel good because I already do all of these things.

  • London

    Right why go thru ALLLLLLLLLL of that…..When you can you just order what you want in the first damn place. Going thru all of that BS just to make him feel like a MAN?!? Girl bye smh I can order my own damn food…I'm still human with a voice…I don't see how that makes someone feel like a damn man cause you ordered my food…just make sure your azz is still there when it's time to pay for it…NOW that would make you feel like a 'MAN' smh

  • Rae Diane Meller

    Yep… she didn't get it at all

  • alithia

    I dnt know how she came up with this. It's very shallow to say the least.

  • whatisgoingon

    The only thing a man is going to feel if you instruct him to order you food, then criticise his choice, send it back and make him order it again, is a complete IDIOT.

  • lovinmyman

    I think that the main things is to be friends, laugh and have fun with your man. Just remember sisters, the brothers are leaving us to other races in droves. What you won't do, other women would be happy to do and then some. The bottom line is if he is holding you down, you should want to do everything you can do to make him feel like a king.

    • petri

      The media has gotten to you too…sad

      No one is leaving anyone "in droves"…and you shouldn't treat your man well because you're scared that he will run off with a woman that does. you should do these things because YOU want to make him happy. If you don't naturally feel inclined to do nice things for a man you probably shouldn't be with the guy in the first place.

  • Dana

    This "advice" is too silly to be taken seriously. If he doesn't already feel like a man, then he probably isn't one.

  • SisterSarah

    Such a silly list in contrast to the introductory paragraphs (which I thought made very good points). Everywhere you look in the media, Black men and women are under attack. We are bombarded with messages that we're lazy, immoral, stupid, and basically inferior in every way imaginable. Something has happened to our Black men especially, where they are growing up harder and angrier and I don't understand why. Helping Black men regain their masculinity has nothing to do with letting him order your food or giving him head on the way to church (can't believe that was an actual suggestion).

    "Like women, men need to know you care, that you are appreciative and that you love them." That really says it all. However, my approach to communicate that message to my man would be slightly different:

    Black men need to hear "I love you." And not just said during the morning rush while you're on your way out the door to work. But saying the words sincerely while looking in his eyes so he knows you mean it. I believe not enough Black men grew up hearing these words which is why they are unable to say them to us.

    Black men need to be complimented. If your man is looking good, tell him so! Even a slow looking up-and-down over his body with a smile will get the point across 🙂 Many men take pride in their appearance and they do appreciate when we notice the effort.

    Brag on him. Black men are always being told what they're doing wrong and we women are usually the most critical in the bunch. They need to hear us complimenting them, both in front of other people, and "eavesdropping" when we're talking to our friends/family. If they never hear us say anything positive about them, they'll wonder why we're with them at all. Men need to feel pride, and part of that pride is derived from US being proud of THEM.

    Let him talk. Men don't like to talk? Bull! Just bring up sports, cars, etc. and you can't shut them up! If your man is an expert at something, say fixing engines or programming computers, let him flex his knowledge once in awhile. They also need to know that they can share their problems too. They are conditioned to be so hard and guarded, but men have feelings too. But they will never open up to us if they feel they can never get a word in edgewise.

    Off-topic: driving is not a game nor is it a right. It's a privilege. Operating a two-ton-plus vehicle while engaging in other activities– sexual or otherwise– is dangerous and foolish. So please, for your sake and the other drivers sharing the road with you, use your vehicle for transportation only and save the kinky stuff for home, or at least wait until you're parked.

  • honestfemale

    I know right! I was like…umm church?

  • Patricia Logan

    This is the stupidest thing I've read in many years!! What century is this??!?? Apparently they'll let anybody at all write a column since it's the internet…. this was written by a young man on drugs, clearly. Well, dream on, brother! !!

  • Marissa

    So…if you don't like what he orders you for dinner, you're then suppose to send it back and try again? That's a fantastic way to get your food spit in.

    • London

      Right why go thru ALLLLLLLLLL of that…..When you can you just order what you want in the first damn place. Going thru all of that BS just to make him feel like a MAN?!? Girl bye smh I can order my own damn food…I'm still human with a voice…I don't see how that makes someone feel like a damn man cause you ordered my food…just make sure your azz is still there when it's time to pay for it…NOW that would make you feel like a 'MAN' smh

    • ABC

      My hubby wants me to order for him LOL He is a man and he does not need rules to feel like one. I do make his plate when I cook because I like doing that. He does things for me too. I think what works for some wont work for others and if we tie our selfs down to rules we will never find what makes us truly happy. If this list works for the write good for her just dont drive near me or a school bus of children or hit a speed bump ect, and I kind of hope a cop pulls you over.

    • Tinaree


  • Akua Joseph

    This article is so wrong in so many ways. People get it together.

  • Passdathpno

    I agree with this article 100%. That's one of the biggest problems today, women not letting men be men and then wondering he's not happy and acting distant. A woman can be independent and still be able keep her man happy. I get annoyed by women who act all high and mighty and then complain about how they're aren't any good men left. Yes you're a successful, intelligent hardworking woman but that doesn't mean that you have to be in control of everything. My point is simply share control of the relationship and both parties can coexist happily.

    • jane

      I picked my man ripe already, 18+ . He already knew he was a man when we met. As a result we don't stick to any contrived notion of what someone else's definition of man and woman, we love and treat one another very well.
      If a woman demands to be served on she is using a man, when a man needs a woman to serve him, he is also not a well balanced person.

    • nycgirl

      I agree that no one needs to "be in control of everything." What does "letting men be men" mean, though? Is this like boys will be boys? To me, being a man means being sure enough of your masculinity to not try to feel more powerful than a woman.

  • Stacy

    Agreed–Plus the after taste during church is not worth it!

  • I am NOT giving my man head in the car on the way to church with our three kids in the back seat! Seriously, though, some of those things are things my fiance has already told me he likes to do. They don't make him "feel like a man" but they are things he feels a man is supposed to do. His parents were older when they had him, so he's seriously old school. He orders for me at the restaurant, makes arrangements for our dates, etc and yes, he does like it when I make his plate, but he makes one for me sometimes too.

  • Pingback: Can you really make your man feel like a man by letting him order for you when you go out to eat? - -Knowledge Ring()

  • Angel

    I don’t understand why people feel they MUST critique everything! Nice article Lashuan.

    My man absolutely LOVES when I rub his neck and back while he’s driving.

    Another thing, be spontaneous every once in a while (pretty much like the “oral before worship”). One day I came home with my clit pierced (TMI, I know) and when he finally caught his breath he said “Thanks for constantly reminding me why I married you.” Awwwwww! Lol

    Treat him good, but never be a doormat! They’re @ least 10 women out there that wants your spot.

    • Jonathan

      I didn't say there wasn't any exceptions to the rule…

  • ThisIshRightHere

    Tell the truth. This is satire, right?

  • Eric McDaniel

    Yes, yes, yes. Give me more stuff to do for you that you can do for yourself. That would make me feel manly. GTFOHWTBS.
    1. Don't be so critical. We all make mistakes, even women.
    2. Appreciate us when we're around.
    3. Give me the same type of treatment you would give Idriss Elba or Shemar Moore. Break your rules for me like you would for them. If you can't do that we ain't got nothing to talk about.
    4. Shut the F-up sometimes.
    5. Understand that my life does not revolve around buying you stuff all the time.
    Those are a few things women could do to bring some harmony home.

    • LoveIs…

      Hahahaha!!! Idris Elba. Now I would give him a massage no problem 😉

  • ladyscholar

    Jennifer Brown when your daddy dies, and your son finds a woman who eventually takes your place, will you be killing yourself?

  • Jay

    If your man doesn't feel like a man then it is your problem because he's your man. A partner says "how can help" not "That's not my problem." I have a hard time believing that anyone would want to be with someone like that long term. Hence the term "Help" mate. Otherwise it sounds like a high school relationship.

  • DJ1969

    This article can be summed up by simply saying do nice things for and respect each other. Period. At the end of day, both men and women need their egos stroked and support from one another.

    I don't know who came up with this "let a man be a man" phrase, but it has an undertone that says that men are weak, and we need to stop saying it. Every time I hear Steve Harvey begging women to "let a man be a man" it makes me cringe and SMH. I think a better way to frame this issue is to say respect each others boundaries and stay in your lane as a man and a woman.

    • Jonathan

      you just said let a man be a man…but you just made it sound pretty

  • DJ1969

    DEAD!!!! LMAO!!!

  • Kim

    I've seen this play out for several arduous years in my parent's marriage and I've come to realize that it may not technically be "your problem" but you could be contributing to the feelings of inadequacy through your actions. If you actually care about him, then it kind of is your problem. Sometimes you need to just "stroke his ego" not because you have to, but because you want to.

    • Patricia

      Good answer, Kim. Sometimes you do have to stroke his ego-especially when they face so many day to day demands. The least we as :girlfriends, wives, or friends" can do is make them feel appreciated.

  • homie

    This is very disturbing! Is lashaun married?There are so many ways to make a man feel like a king without being sleazy or desperate.

    • DemetriaIrwin

      Do you find these suggestions to be sleazy and/or desperate? If you love a man and you're in a secure relationship, do any of these things go too far?

      -Demetria Irwin
      Managing Editor of Madame Noire

      • ABC

        The car thing goes to far. People have been hurt doing that and if you get pulled over by a cop… One good pot hole ..

        • Eugenia

          Well hell don't do it in the car then, do it somewhere safer but I'm sure the man would appreciate it. Yeesh!

      • Sleazy, desperate and pathetic. I can't believe I'm reading this at Madame Noire. You guys used to have some pride. I may as well go tback to Jezebel.

  • isola

    I agree with #7 and #8. #6 only works if your man is adventurous.

  • Jonathan

    The list is way to long….David Chapelle sum it up to 4 things women can do 2 make their men happy. (I completely agree)
    1. Fix my food
    2. Suck my D**k
    3. Play with my B**Ls
    4. Don't talk so much

    now that's how you make a man happy

    always some women trying to think for a man.
    Man are not that complex…really

    • jenny

      you pulled out the wrong list boy!! that's the "perfect male prostitute" list. duhhh!

    • Tinaree

      I love it so simple

  • Slim good body

    For all the women that disagree, believe me there is a woman that will. And you will be just as lonely as you are. I bet you are the same women with the laundry list of demands of a man to be “on your level”.

    I think the list of 8 is minimal and some (not all) of you women complain about that. And for some of us men not all of these are required…..

    My advice: take heed and try it sometime, you might be surprised on how it may enhance the relationship a little.

    • Candice

      or the woman who is madly in love with the man who treat's her well, visa versa. There is a point in your life when you get to grow up and realize that it's not what someone can do for you- yes there are plenty of desperate people out there- it's what you can do for yourself and what is wonderful to SHARE together. Thankfully for the rest of us there are wonderful men who have never felt better about themselves, this allows them the ability to SHARE.

  • Kountryboy

    I liked the article, I thought she did an decent job in trying to portray the male psyche. Like she said just like women like compliments, men want to feel wanted, needed and loved.

  • gina

    church? thats whats wrong with this generation NO MORALS . anyway that mans still gonna dog you after all that!

  • Just_Kammie

    Whether or not all the ideas fit anyone's lifestlye doesn't matter. The point of this (IMO) is that we as women spend a lot of time being independent in our relationships that we forget to do the things that also make our men happy. It's not about being submissive but empowering. I can attest to some of the ideas. Since I'm a picky eater, the ordering for me is a no, but I've made driving home a ride to remember, massages and the saying "thank you" makes more of a difference than you know. Sometimes we as women spend so much time living dual roles that we forget to hang up that male hat and just be feminine and let our man be masculine.

    • Tpe

      I disagree with everything you say because if men want all that they will be willing to FULLY support that woman so that she can FULLY support his needs at his every whim

    • lovely

      wise woman!

  • truth.com

    that's why you're alone and bitter…

    • Jennifer Brown

      alone and bitter please!!!!!!!!!!!!! only 2 men in my life my son and my 82 year old father i like it that way this girl is not bitter I cook and clean for them its the role I play in their life….that is the way I like it…

  • PrettySiddity

    I agree and disagree. Sometimes women are over independent and does not know when to fall back and allow a man to take the lead. Just like women need to feel appreciated and like a woman, a man needs to feel like a man and that a woman wants/needs him

  • Simone

    Unless this was written by a guy, I wouldn’t take advice on how to please a woman from another woman.

    • ART

      As a man, everything that was stated is spot on.

  • harlemworld4eva

    I agree wholeheartedly.

  • intrepid14u

    Man! I need to start going to church every Sunday.

    • You are too funny…Stop!!!

      • ABC

        Until you hit a pot hole.

  • thatcat

    I feel bad for women, as any grown man can tell you. We don't need you. I can do every thing for my self. clean,cook,pay my bills, and anything else that needs to be done in my life. The only reason to have a women in life is to have someone i enjoy there company with plus sex. I thought the things that were suggested in this artical were nice simple things to let your man be in charge. It's not belittleing when you care for someone. It's just trying to make the other person feel speical. I hope she writes something on how to make a woman feel speical so i can see if i'm missing anything

    • harlemworld4eva

      Exactly. We don't need y'all unless you are bringing those basic value systems and skills to the table like our grandmothers did. These 21st century women are losing big-time!

      • cathrine

        I think having the choice of not having to date retards like you but be an independent woman who looks for adequate company is one of the wonderful things emancipation and the 21st century have given women.

        I don't know, what you are talking about. Don't think the times of your grandmother were golden! May be for men, it was much more comfortable because the women was so dependent on them. That's what you want? Then I don't need you either. I hope no woman is so dumb to fall for you. Good thing my boyfriend isn't a conservative retard like you!

        • Eric McDaniel

          Yeah, you got a "boyfriend" but our grandmothers got "Married". Try that one out for size.

        • Eric McDaniel

          ***Saying it to make more sense than before***

          Catherine-You have a "boyfriend", good for you. But our grandmothers had "Husbands." There's a substantial difference in the two positions.

          • cathrine

            ok, Sherlock, I'm 25 years old… I don't think I need to be married at that age.

            • Eric McDaniel

              Okay, Watson. You're choice, your life. But when I was 25 I was adult enough to have completed the military and graduated college. 25 isn't 15. Plus I was saying our grandparents generally married eventually which is something I see a lot of women having a problem getting done. They were 25 at one time and then they blinked and they were 48 years old and alone ( or with a couple of cats) wondering how their life ended up so sad.

              • Jillian

                OK Eric, quit lying to yourself, we are not buying it! Marriage isn't the a "victory" in any smart confidents woman's life. If you find someone to love and make a commitment to them, great, but there is sure more to life!!! You, Mr Dork are unlikely to ever be happy because you live back in your grandmother's day!
                Women in scores get respect from their relationships, or they choose not to be in one and still LOVE life. —there are many good, educated, respectful, men out there, thank god- you just missed the boat when it docked in the 21st century!

              • Mary

                "Getting it done" ? what are you on about? And what are you ON? The way our society has developed, 25 is in most places considered too young to get married. Also many women CHOSE not to marry for various reasons. For example not needing a legally binding contract to love someone. Marriage was much more common because education and work for women was limited and they would therefore be largely dependent upon a partners financial support, especially if they had children, and if her partner chose to leave or died, without the legally binding contract stating she stood to inherit, she would be left on bare ground. Now you can have co habitation contracts that serve the same purpose, but does not 'bind' you with the condition of a years separation should you wish to break the contract. Not being married does not mean you're alone.

                Men don't need women? Women certainly don't need men. It's time to row up and enter the 21st century, otherwise you might find yourself "48 years old and alone ( or with a couple of cats) wondering how your life ended up so sad."

                • truthbetold

                  Agree and Disagree… marriage is accompanied by a mental state for both parties… there is no "age" for marriage. I was married at 20 and I am still married at 26. The goal here is to find a companion (hopefully a lifetime companion, Im sure we've all been through devastating break ups which arent so great for your health in general if you consider your state afterwords) who complements you in every way possible.

                  • Look to the Future

                    LOL! Wow, still married at 26! Excellent, come back in 10 years when you are a completely different person. Really, you sound so young! I really think that getting married at 20 is the most absurd and stupid thing a person can do. Respectfully, both you and your spouse will be different people by the time you are 40. Hopefully you will grow together, but look at the statistics and you realize that many people do not. People change! Who you are at 20 and 25 is definitely NOT who you will be at 35, 40, or 45! I hope you and your wife/husband are able to evolve together down the same path in life. The thing that you need to realize is that you WILL grow and CHANGE. This is the mistake that many people make when they get married so young. They just really do not understand the idea that that who they are today is not who they will be down the road. I wish you the best of luck.

                    • truthbetold

                      I agree. I am a completely different person than I was 7 years ago when I met him at 19, and he can say the same thing. He is now 31. We completely understand that people change and growth is part of our relationship. Anything that isnt growing is dead. Evolution is a part of life. When the foundation of your relationship is the b/s mentioned above in this article or even more artificial things… Of course, you will find yourself being a statistic. There has to be a spiritual/moral foundation on which it is based. I will gladly come back in 10 years and let you know how my marriage has progressed and share with you the keys to success. Thank you for the wishes and I wish you the same as well.

                    • Asia

                      tell 'em girl! Well said 🙂

                    • Moonseer

                      What I find interesting is how so many people degrade marriage, and then the give out advice to try to stop other people from getting married. Yes if you have had a bad relationship, or you have seen failed marriages, that most likely will effect you. But this is not the same for everyone. Look at it this way. We are very quick to throw up statistics on divorce rate and then say it is not worth getting married because it is not going to last. But there are just as many disheartening statistics about kids growing up in single parent homes, and woman still say i am the mother and father.

      • suzy

        show me the straight man who doesn't need a woman! Men are the first to date again after a break up because they usually aren't even capable of being alone let alone self sufficient and independent. Not for one second do I buy into your "men are independent, we don't need women"! My experience tells me otherwise!

        • Eric McDaniel

          Straight men don't "Need" women, straight men "Want" women. Women often mistake needs and wants.

          • Jillian

            you spend too much time on these threads, maybe if you were a half decent human being you'd be occupied with a smart, confident, LADY

          • Time to grow up!

            Jeez Eric, you sound like a 12 year old. Please grow up!!

          • samantha

            Eric, not to throw religion @ you or any thing but ; God brings the animals to the man for him to name. None of them are found to be a suitable companion for the man, so God causes the man to sleep and creates a woman from a part of his body. Describing her as "bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh," the man calls his new help-mate "woman" (Heb. ishshah), "for this one was taken from a man" (Heb. ish). This sundering, a making of two from one, predicates reunification in marriage, in which two will be made one: "On account of this a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his woman."

            Basicly, a man needs a GOOD woman for companionship and love, and a woman needs a GOOD man because we are created to accompany and love that one special man and mke him feel whole

          • MzMel

            Actually Eric, I think it's the men who have that mistaken. Too many of you think that you have an option but women don't because they "need" a man. Hate to break it to ya, but it's just not true. Women are capable of providing for themselves financially and no longer need to depend on men. So, if we choose to be with someone, it's because we WANT to as well. And because of that, we can picky until we get what we want instead of compromising ourselves, settling for less than what we want, and being second best like women of long ago had to do. I'd think any man worth his weight would appreciate that.

    • arobbins

      seriously, everyone? did you even read beyond the first line of this post? "thatcat" is saying that men don't *need* women for them to cook and clean because (and I hope this is true) you all are capable of feeding and cleaning yourselves. instead you can actually enjoy being with a woman for the pleasure of our company and the ways we can make you feel even better and stronger than you do alone. and if that means letting you order at your favorite restaurant or looking good at your work event, sign me up and reciprocate!

      we should all be grateful to live in the 21st century so, men, start acting like it. thatcat, i'd guess you're already well ahead of all these other men in terms of making a woman feel special, by the simple fact that you think it's a good idea.

    • Samora

      lololol, b/c "I" can do everything myself, and have a loving man who treats me as an equal. So I haven't a clue who wants to keep someone like you company and offer you "sex". I'll tell you that it's not a woman who has a good sense of herself, therefore you are just taking advantage of someone in need of help, that would make you DISGUSTING, ewe!

    • Steve

      Damn! Now we are getting to the great comments. Hats off to this guy ( and thanks for making me realize I'm not the only guy reading this!) for asking for the women article version. What can we do better?
      Why do you think so many of us – again the "nice guy" comment comes out, read Cosmo? We treat it like my dad and grandfather used to read playboy. I was embarassed when my wife found my copy.

    • WICKED!!!!!

      And women need men for????????????????????????????/

  • ladyscholar

    Women crack me up. Always so negative. This article was just fine. Him ordering for you doesn’t make you look like a child. It shows his position as the head of house. Too many women want to wear the pants in the house. Then find themselves alone. And giving your husband a little oral attention, is just fine as long as he’s a steady driver. It’s all about the little things. When he gives you a random kiss, or surprises you for lunch, or remembers your favorite flower these are all little ways to keep love and attraction alive.

    • Divine

      I think the negative responses mostly came from men. I dont see anything wrong with doing any of those things. Whether it works in "making a man feel like a man", Im not sure. But I would do those things just to make him smile 🙂

    • Lauren B

      I had a conversation with one of my managers when I was a line cook, and being a lady line cook means you have to out-dude the men pretty much constantly or you get zero respect ("Yeah, you're pretty good at this.. for a girl).

      He told me, during a very light-hearted conversation, that he could never date me because he needs to wear the pants.

      I told him that in a relationship, I don't want to wear the pants. But I don't necessarily think all of the pants-wearing pressure should be on the man I'm with either.

      His response: "So… your answer is a pants-free relationship?"

      "Actually, that could fix a lot of things."

      "I think you just solved every relationship problem ever."

    • nycgirl

      like getting some dumb flowers makes up for him wanting to feel superior to you as "head" of the house. Trying to scare us by telling us we'll end up alone won't work any more. There are too many people that accept and enjoy equality. Yes, this household has two heads, but we're no monster.

    • You hit it right on the head (no pun intended). I do understand that women should at all times be treated with respect but that was not what this article was about. It was about the man and his wants. The truth is what it is if you agree or not. That will not change how a man feels or what he yearns for. SO if you have a "Good man" I suggest people take heed. There's a reason the divorce rate is so high in this country. This little tidbit of advice could possible help reduce that number a smidgen.

    • etta

      oh absolutely girl! some women here are so negative. maybe it's because they're been in abusive and/or unfulfilling relationships. maybe they're never been in a real relationship…just a booty call or something. who knows? but if so no wonder by their negative comments. what man wants to be with someone who wants to call the shots?

  • Fufu King

    8 ways to let your man do all the hardwork..
    …Walmart Giving Back After Laying Off Over 50,000 People.. $1,000 Giftcards – I Grab 2 of Them..LOL http://ow.ly/54E1U

  • Nayya

    Come on sistas. Your mothers & grandmothers did far more than that to keep their husbands/men happy so stop acting 21st century. Women from other cultures and races are doing those same things and that’s the real reason why some of our really good brothas ( not the thugs ) are taking them as their wives and not US sistas. Yes, I’m a women and have been married twice, both times to brothas. 🙂

    • thatcat

      thank you…..sometimes i think the femists movement has done more to hurt couples then to help women.

      • harlemworld4eva


      • What the hell is a femist?

      • Amanda Altamirano

        No. Both sides are wrong. The feminists just point out the flaws with the traditionalists. Men and woman are equal. Different but equal. Both are a part of the image of God. The pendulum is just swinging from one dysfunctional extreme to the other. When the dust settles, both traditionalism and feminism will be left behind. What people want is to be who they are with someone else who knows how to BE a human being and these roles of males and females are not rules but what we enjoy doing. I am female but I enjoy working on cars more than cooking. My husband doesn’t like working on cars that much, but he loves cooking. We both love fishing, hiking, traveling and we each have our own lives and interests. We each are whole people standing next to each other and when we stand next to each other we enhance our lives and environment. But neither of us “needs” the other to complete ourselves. We enjoy each other. I get my feminism by God revealing to me how He sees me and I bring my feminism “gifts” to my husband and he gets “who” he “Is” from God and brings his masculine “gifts” to me. I am intoxicated with his masculinity. My husband is delighted by my femininity. But it’s never stagnant. That is my mystery. As I can always get more, he is interested. Then after I “gift” him I just wait and see what he goes and gets and brings to me. He loves it so much because I am drawing out his masculinity. And he loves what he discovers. Intoxicating! Oh and sex is incredible. I told him early on that if you ever get bored in the bedroom, just tell me and I’ll figure out something. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.

    • battenup

      This is racist and sexist.

    • Tpe

      So why do so many of those women end up getting divorced from black men Naya???

      And how do you know what all these other women do anyway???

      • etta

        i'm sure many of these women catering to their men lead busy lives. but they take the time to make sure their men feel loved, appreciated. i'm against the concept that the article is old-fashioned, rather what is really old is the thinking that "it's all about me." men are men yes. but they're also human just like us with needs like us too. oh yes there are some who are just plain dogs…true. but we're not referring to those are we? i have someone who treats me like i'm gold because i am. oh he's not perfect..nope sure ain't. he shares things with me indicating trust. i do so in return. i put no pressure on him…him likewise. we're also friends. and why? it's called respect.

    • Amanda Altamirano

      So how is what your mother taught you working for you?

  • Bubbles

    I don't see anything wrong with giving your man head before going to church. He will be smiling all the way to the door!!

    • No. That's not classy. If you have a King, you need to act like a Queen. There's a time and place for everything.

    • No,sweety. Thats thats not classy. There's a time and place for everything and if a woman has a king, she needs to act like a queen. Discretion is key :). On the way to church both his and her minds need to be on praising the Lord

    • Amanda Altamirano

      Just be sure to take the “collection” money he was going to give.

  • African_queen

    Correction…Lashaun is the name and not LaShawna…my bad

  • African_queen

    Big fail LaShawna…seriously, why not let a man tell us how we can treat him to make him feel good…he should already be feeling a like a man though

    • Steve

      Ahh. Some common sense. And it works both ways. TELL ME what to do in bed. If I'm doing it wrong let me know so I can fix it. Do you think I actually want to be bad at this part of our relationship?
      (Hey, this is getting fun. I've never commented on a blog like this before. Let's see what other comments are on this page)

  • tg1

    In other words, lie your arse off to stroke their egos. Aint that a beeyotch. This is how far we've come. LMAO And I'd be very careful doing #7 – you could end up in a ditch or DEAD, while he is driving. Who the heck is giving this advice?

  • tg1

    No problem making your man feel like a man – but chivalry is OVER, unfortunately. These men are disgusting out here today. (don't get offended, MEN – if this is not how you act, I'm grateful and i'm sure your woman is, too). They don't even hold doors for women. They BARELY give up their seats to PREGNANT women on the subway. Usually, another woman gives the pregnant woman a seat. I don't mind making my man feel like a man because he treats me like Gold, too. But a lot of men don't deserve that kind of treatment. Sometimes the better you treat them – the worst they treat you. If a man could accept that treatment and then in return – give it back by making his wife or woman feel like a Queen. Then I'm all for making him feel like a KING.

    • keepemguessin

      OMG.. i couldnt have said it better!!!

    • thatcat


    • cece marie

      exactly!! its a two way street. you treat me like a queen, i'll treat you like a king. ur so right!! some men dont deserve this type of treatment. smh

      • pamgrier

        I know when you're right..sad but true

    • abc

      Men open the door for me all the time and I hate it. It makes me feel like I'm to weak to open a door… I hate it even more now that my hubby told me they only do it to look at my butt, he said that why he did it when we started dating and same thing with walking up the stairs ahead of him.

      • Alexis

        I LOVE it when men open the door for me and make a point to be extremely noticeable when I say thank you. And yes, I do understand some are doing it just to get a look, but since they are also being chivalrous, I let it slide. Doors get opened a lot for me by men of all ethnicities that I don’t know, so I honestly believe they’re just exhibiting chivalry (especially since my butt isn’t that big…LOL).

    • Steve

      Nope. Not dead. But us guys (pardon the english) do get tired of the look (and several) comments from women, indicating we are sissys or – you guessed it- Gay, if we treat a woman respectfully. Why do women always choose the idots then blame the nice guys?

      • Amanda Altamirano

        OK, your question is very valid and deserves an answer. Both the idiots and the nice guys are often bad. So if the one on the left is bad and the one on the right is bad, then why not go where the excitement is? Out of 5,000 males, there might only be 1, if we are lucky, that is both nice and got it (that he is alive and knows who he is). Once I could pick the biggest loser in a crowd of 10,000; now I can pick the biggest Champ out of the same crowd. What changed? Me. So if you want to be the one Champ that gets picked out of the crowd by a descent woman, then what has to change is you. What you get is determined by what you use as bait. You are asking for behavior modification. We want you to “be” the “real” man.

    • I agree with "If a man could accept that treatment and then in return- give it back by making his wife of woman feel like a Queen. Then I'm all for making him feel like a KING." My man has a huge ego (sometime arrogant and prideful). I don't like having to knock it down but I must utilize his own stuff against him. He has this King desire but doesn't want to fulfill the responsibilities or duties of a King. Just the pride and power…Nope, not here. You can't be nice to men who are like this because they take advantage. Then the tougher you are the more they want you even though you are thoroughly irritated. So, then how do you get the Queen treatment without the taking your kindness for weakness…I am learning to pray and be very honest with what I want no matter how he takes it.

    • Anna

      Very true… I have seen these young men and boys jump in front of me when boarding the bus and/or subway. They curse like sailors in your presence. They don't respect or are polite to women. But tg1, you are spot on with that. The better you treat them, the worse they treat you.

  • Cathy

    Exactly !

  • GoneToFar

    BLASPHEMY at its best. NO respect for God at all.
    These are the Last Days. I guess this suppose to be funny. Some things just shouldnt be written or spoken.

    • Jennifer Brown

      last days for what, man you are funny

    • honestfemale

      O c'mon…Its not THAT bad! Sheesh..

    • yadda yadda

      ??? what if they are married.
      u shouldnt have spoke…
      its not head at church, lol.
      it is crazy though.
      this article is suggestions on trying to make a man with low confidence feel like a man.
      if he dont feel like a man, i cant help.

    • Rae Diane Meller


  • Cathy

    did you ctually say give him head while driving to church ?? WTH !?!?!?

    • Jennifer Brown

      never fall asleep in church again LOL

    • MsCLady925

      Yeah that one kinda got me too…lol

    • Patricia

      I agree. That doesn't even sound right. Can you imagine the thoughts and feeling during Praise and Worship?? Geeze GHETTO! She could have something like after she showers from a long day, surprise him!!

  • jujubee

    Lmfao so hard @ “BC he’s so gifted”

  • rob


  • theghettohippie

    why is it the womans responsibility to “make a man feel like a man”? imo its thinking like this that has led many men to become dependant on women (ex. no job stability, live with his mama/gf out of pure laziness). these are the ones that say she makes me feel like less of a man. well a true man has that confidence within himself and what his woman shows is appreciated. its nice but he doesn’t need it to validate his manliness.

    • Cathy

      REAL TALK !

    • thatcat

      It's not your responsibility>>>I think thats the point…

    • lyric

      This reminds me of what my grandmother once told me about relationships…."always make you man feel like a man" period.

    • DEF

      You are completely missing the point. Strong black men with careers and a strong foundation still want this stuff. You probably have never put yourself in a position to recognize this though. Instead, you see the instances were lazy men have women looking out for them. You don't see where successful men have that foundation. You really think Michele Obama has never done the stuff on this list?

      • BjACQUES


    • Love Exist

      This is the realist comment! I never understood this. I know a man needs to feel like a man, but a lot of these men are insecure in themselves, so it becomes a nightmare trying to please them or stroke their ego, its never enough from them because they are insecure at the end of the day!! When a man is insecure, nothing you do is right!!

  • TBM

    Nothing like putting the holy ghost in you then getting some head before going to work. You will be happy for the rest of the day 🙂

    • msfoxylady

      CHURCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh LOL!

  • Mr Gantri

    These are sweet things to do but, aside from making his plate, these are not what makes a man feel like a man. Give him “breathing” room and let him be himself.

    • truthbetold

      I completely agree with Mr. Gantri. I am 26 and happily married to a beautiful black man for 6 years. All of these suggestions are ok, there's nothing wrong or debase about them. However, giving your husband space to be himself, grow mentally and spiritually at his own pace, and understanding that men and women have different needs and sometime sacrificing those needs/wants for peace and harmony, goes along way. I am a 21st century sister, with a corporate job, and two beautiful daughters (for those of you who may think I maybe dependent or what have you… even though there is nothing wrong with that…sisters do you!), with a wonderful marriage hoping to carry on the legacy of my parents and grandparents married for 65 and 28 years and counting.

      To all my black women out there, you can have it all… a black knight in shining armor, all your goals and aspirations, and bouncing babies to go along. Dont get caught up in the hype.

      • Thickdime

        TruthBeTold….I agree with everything you have stated…my King can have all of the included and whatever else I can think of because I love making him happy…because I am his Queen…he loves to make me happy and both of us provide space for the other to breathe, learn and enjoy their own brand of quiet…we do not argue (yes we disagree but we choose not to allow it to roll into loud voices, name calling or any other negative communication).  He is the father (by marriage) to my daughter and he has taught her valuable life lessons….I work full time, manage a counseling service and attend school as well…I do not need his finances but I need and truly desire his LOVE….I make his plate as well…he thanks me for that and for making home a place that he actually looks forward to coming to…I love the tips included in this article as well…when you are able to let your inhibitions and past pain go….there is nothing but JOY coming into your life.

  • lauren


  • Lmao at the trip to church

    • lauren

      i know right!

    • PrettySiddity

      straight hell bound

    • Spikeygrrl

      Let's hope the author meant this one as a joke. The practice she recommends is extremely unsafe for everyone involved: the woman as well as the man, and God help the unaware surrounding motorists!

      • Gsaint85

        Y’all wonder why we cheat with the ugly girls.

        • Guestest

          Lol really? Smh

      • Amanda Altamirano

        Yep. Can tell you a true story. Same thing happened on their wedding day. She was giving him head while he was driving. He got into a wreck. She was killed. He got a broken toe. Don’t know if he told the cops the entire story. I heard it from his 2nd wife.

    • MzA

      lol, I had the same thought "DO WHAT" while on the way to CHURCH.

    • Estelle Duncan

      lol, me too! how u gone serve the lord with a dirty mouth!



      • Maryljohnson90


      • Alexis

        Maybe its just me, but I’m thinking if you’re married and use mouthwash afterwards, maybe God won’t care….. LOL

      • Amanda Altamirano

        And you wonder why their autistic kids eat their feces!

    • Anonymous Coward

      And I thought people jabbering on cell phones while they're driving was bad. Holy mooing cow.

      For those of you who think this is a good thing, do you *really* want to be found in the wreck of a car, bleeding out from … there … because her jaws slammed shut when you hit something?

    • Linda