Don’t some people just make you sick?
Seriously, isn’t there one person who has come and gone from your life who made you wish they would turn into dust on sight because of the grief they caused you?
Everyone has had the unfortunate experience of dealing with anguish, and it’s typically brought on at the hands of someone they once loved or tried to. No matter what you felt you did right, that person still broke your heart and did you wrong.
For most, the initial reaction is to become bitter and wish you never met that person. However, there’s another way you can deal with the misery they caused you if you haven’t fully let things go. In fact, I have a few ways you can move beyond the pain, get to a point in your life where you’ll want to thank those who once made you cry, and realize the role they played in your life. I know this sounds a little strange, but hear me out.
There’s an old saying that goes, “People enter your life as a lesson or a blessing.” But the truth is, they’re both. The blessing can be the lesson you learn from them, but it’s up to you to decide what you will take away from the experience. The whole point of someone entering your life is to improve your character in some way for a greater purpose to be fulfilled. So don’t hate the person who hurt you, be glad they did because you wouldn’t have learned what you were supposed to otherwise.
Getting over a past transgression is not an easy thing to do. It’s a step-by-step process that takes time. The first step is to accept what was done. This is a struggle for many because it is difficult to believe that someone could cut you to the depths of your soul, especially someone you once cared about. But they can, and it’s important to get a grip on it, or it’ll have a grip on you. One way to accept the hurt is to revisit it, think about why it shook you up, and take note of how not to go down that road again. After this, it’s time to make up in your mind that you’re going to move beyond the hurt and let it go. So many people hold grudges in their heart and spirit because they haven’t released grief mentally. Believe it or not, this can hinder your progress and future blessings. Never let a person rent space in your head for free, especially one who disappointed you and probably isn’t even thinking about you.
If you’re still having trouble with letting things go, the possible next step is to confront the wrongdoer. Tell them directly how they made you feel and a few other things that may come to mind without getting ugly, but rather, in the hopes of getting closure.
If you can’t muscle up the guts to face them, write them a letter, send a message via social media (in their inbox of course), or call them. Go through whatever method you are most comfortable with and express yourself freely. Just be sure you get everything off your chest (in a nonconfrontational manner), and then you’re free to have your own private release party. I suggest shoe shopping! It always works for me, but whatever you do, be sure it helps you with your healing process.
As long as we are alive we will experience pain and suffering at the hands of those we love–and a few strangers. It’s just a part of life. But how well we react to it and what we take away from it all will determine the depths of our character and how far we walk into our greatness. So the next time you think about a person who broke your spirit, or you so happen to run into them, be sure to thank them for helping you become a better person for a better purpose.
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? a speaker, and an advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
