The Company You Keep: What Your Relationships, Past And Present, Say About You
“You are the company you keep.” “Show me your friends and I will show you your future.” These type of quotes often replay in my mind when I am doing my “who the hell am I spending my time with?” inventory. I usually try to conduct this assessment at least four or five times a year, or when a life-changing situation occurs. This time, though, it was different. I wasn’t looking at my life, but rather, I was critiquing someone else’s: a guy who was interested in dating me. He seemed decent enough, but the company he kept, specifically the woman he used to date, was a bit questionable. So I questioned him about it.
While it sounds judgemental, it’s important to know who a person spends or has spent the majority of their time around. Here was his situation: he was engaged to a woman who was known to lie, cheat, and even steal. She was known for trying to get over on people, and ultimately he became a victim. Still, he stayed with her for years. This decision told me that either he loved the shadiness, or he didn’t value himself enough to get out of that relationship sooner than later.
Here’s the thing: I am not here to judge how someone acts or who they choose to love. But what I do have to monitor is the people I allow in my life. You do what works for you, but I have to do what works for me.
I’ve dated some questionable guys in my past, and although it took some time for me to get out of the situations (not years like this fella), I eventually started to understand that the people I involved myself with said a lot about my character.
If you’re seriously involved or spend most of your time around people who are disrespectful, careless with their lives, and live free of any real morals or values, what are people going to think about you? Seriously, what do you even think of yourself? Even the most disciplined person eventually inherits traits from his or her environment. And if you’re not careful, you will soon become a product of your environment, aka, the company you keep.
So before I decided to date this guy, I needed to find out where his head was. Basically, was it still in the same place it was when he was ready to marry someone with such questionable behavior? This is not to say that I am better than any of his ex-girlfriends or the friends he currently hangs around, but I am very careful about who I let consume most of my time.
Your relationships, with your man or even with your friends, say a lot about your current state of mind. And while you may not care how others will perceive you because of them, at least be aware for your future. You will soon become who you spend most of your days with. And if you don’t like what’s around you, you’d better change it quickly.