Why Men Hurt

March 9, 2011  |  

Women handle break-ups better than men! This is not a fact, nor rooted in any scientific data, it’s merely an opinion that seems to get widespread support by both men and women alike. How many times have you heard “men just can’t handle emotional pain” or “women are used to being hurt so they deal with disappointment better?” What started out as a list of 5 reasons why men have a tougher time dealing with their loss of “the one” became this circular list that stressed pride, ego, male privilege, lack of support, and this inherent need to be right; but mostly, it went back to different variations of pride and what it means to be a man.

Men are taught from a young age that emotion denotes weakness and the last thing a man, a black man at that, can be viewed as in this society is weak. In order to understand why men, who have been hurt in romantic relationships, shut down and find themselves in utter disbelief is rooted in the patriarchal society in which we live. Men are not supposed to be emotional, men are supposed to be leaders and by leading that means, “being right.”  A failed relationship often makes both men and women feel that they were wrong or wronged and for some men this is completely unacceptable.

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