I had a pretty heated conversation with my girlfriends the other day. I am sure you can guess what we were talking about. Guys! What else? We had gathered for our weekly banter that always includes Mexican food and glasses of margaritas.
Once we were all happily served, we got on the topic of what types of guys we would absolutely not consider dating. I have always been classified as the girl who expects “too much” from potential mates. I actually resent that label. All I have ever wanted was to meet someone who is respectful, resourceful, kind, considerate and college educated with a decent job. If that’s a tall order then I am guilty. To me, that’s not really asking much. It’s the basic framework and if I meet those requirements, I should demand the same from a guy who will eventually be the father of my children.
Some of my friends agree with my theory, but the rest are not convinced that I am on the right track. One of them in particular is consistently challenging me by asking tasking questions that she hopes would get me to jump off my “high horse.” She is determined to prove that I am quite possibly my own worst enemy and the reason why I have not been able to find a mate. Her main grief with me is that I am adamant about dating a guy with a college degree. I think it’s partly because she is not a college graduate, so she takes it personally that I am being somewhat snobbish.
The truth is that I have dated guys who didn’t have degrees, and even though the sex was mind-blowing, I couldn’t accept a future with them. Most of them held blue-collar jobs and as a result, they didn’t make much money. I made more than them, and that is a reality I don’t want to live with when I choose my future husband. I would prefer to be with a man who makes substantially more than me, because that will enable us to pool our resources in a progressive way.
But my friend is of the opinion that if you are truly looking for someone to share your life with, you need to be open to all the possibilities, even if they don’t all match up with your expectations. She asked me if I would consider dating a nice respectful gentleman, who loves me beyond measure but happens to be a garbage man or a postal worker. I told her there was no way I would date those guys seriously, because in the long run, we wouldn’t be compatible. I look at settling down as a way to make a home with a guy who can match me financially. Love is a great asset but that the end of the day, if you intend to have children, it is imperative that both of us are in a position to accommodate that. I would also hope that my kids would be college bound so for me that is a huge deal.
Whoever I end up with has to share my values and educational background. But for some of my friends, it’s not something they care that much about. They just want to fall in love, and they don’t care if they end up being the breadwinner. I definitely care. I want my man to make more than me.
How do you feel? Would you date a guy who is less accomplished than you?