How To Avoid Being The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
When you’re on the receiving end of being broken up with, it can be a pretty tough pill to swallow, especially if the breakup came out of left field. Despite all of the hurt and frustration, you’ll want to do everything in your power to not go off the chains. Here is how to avoid being the crazy ex-girlfriend that becomes infamous for being straight up nutty, embarrassing herself, and eliminating all traces of self-dignity.
Accept it for what it is
Being broken up with is not easy and it can definitely take some time to heal from the wounds. However, the first step to not being the crazy ex-girlfriend is to simply accept the breakup for what it is. The relationship is over and things didn’t work out. That’s that.
Don’t harp on being friends right now
Though your ex may have mentioned being friends, don’t push this type of friendship right now. As desperate as you may be to hold onto whatever relationship is left with this man, it’s likely that your ex mentioned becoming friends again in the future, not tomorrow or next week.
Follow the rules
Surely during the breakup you two set some sort of ground rules. If your ex has asked you not to contact him, don’t contact him. If you agreed to move your things out of his house during the weekend, do it. Following the rules makes you a much more reasonable ex-girlfriend.
After a rough breakup, rebounding may seem like a viable option for you. However, rebounding just to feel better or to be vengeful never goes well. Trying to get revenge by sleeping with your ex’s best friend doesn’t make you look good at all. You just end up looking like the crazy ex-girlfriend.
Keep things civil
Though you may absolutely hate this man’s guts right now, it’s important that you stay civil throughout the process. Don’t burn his clothes. Don’t slash his tires. And don’t go out and start spreading rumors about your ex. Show your pain and anger in a better, more productive way.
Don’t publicize the breakup
As much as you may want to let everyone on Facebook and Twitter know that so and so broke up with you and smashed your heart into pieces, there’s really no reason to publicize the breakup. Keep the sad love songs off your FB wall and the sob-filled tweets off the Internet.
Talk about it privately
Breakups can be devastating and no matter how tough of a woman you are, it’s likely that you have some things you want to get off your chest and some emotions you want to let out. Instead of keeping them in, let them out. Write them down in a journal or talk with a person you can confide in. Keeping everything is going to make things even worse and it heightens the chances of you becoming the crazy emotional ex-girlfriend.
Don’t drag friends into it
Even if you are close with your ex’s friends, this doesn’t give you the right to drag them into the situation. His friends are not the first people you should go to after the breakup. Instead, it’s best to confide in those closest to you. Otherwise, if you’re running to his friends to spill the beans and to air out some skeletons, you’re going to look like a crazy ex-girlfriend.
Avoid stalking him
When you’re desperate to see your ex, you may come up with some pretty clever ways to bump into him. However, if you’re showing up at every party or restaurant that he’s at, it becomes a bit obvious that you’re stalking him. Stalking only makes things more frustrating and it really sheds a bad light on you.
Don’t become sloppy
If you absolutely must go on the rebound to make yourself feel better about the breakup, make it a breakup weekend not a breakup month. Don’t go from the woman who was happy in a committed relationship to the one who is all over town. Going off the deep end just makes you seem like you’ve lost your common sense.
Stop all contact
Once a breakup is done and over with, it’s best to cut all contact so that you can heal and move on. Stopping all contact also keeps you from becoming the crazy ex-girlfriend who blows up her ex’s phone. Unfriend him on Facebook, delete his number from your phone, and cut all ties wherever they exist. This makes it easier for everyone.
Don’t go off the emotional deep end
You’re going to be frustrated, sad, angry, and maybe even a little depressed, but don’t let a breakup send you off the emotional deep in. It’s okay to feel a mixture of emotions after a breakup, but don’t call your ex and leave him voicemails of you sobbing and don’t send him pictures to show just how sad you are or else you risk seeming a bit desperate.
It’s okay to miss the relationship and it’s okay to be sad that the relationship is over. Now is not the time to sit around and reminisce over the past. Looking at pictures and listening to certain songs isn’t going to allow you to start to heal. At the same time, reminiscing may make you feel even worse than you already do.
Though you may be desperate and willing to do anything to get your ex back, what’s done is done, and there is no point in begging. Begging only makes you look extremely desperate and a little crazy. Calling him, texting him, or showing up at his house begging him to take you back won’t go over very well. Accept the breakup and try to move on as much as you can.