8 Reasons to Spank Your Kids

February 8, 2011  |  

Editor’s Note: Another writer of ours recently wrote about how spanking is not necessarily the right way to discipline a child. LaShaun Williams has a different take on that…

Spanking has become a highly debated form of discipline in recent times, with some arguing swats on the bottom are crimes. A generation ago, most kids felt the sting of a belt. Now, it’s time out. As with everything pertaining to kids, the effectiveness of discipline depends on the child.

Timid, approval-seeking kids are usually good with a time-out. But there are some children who like to push their limits. Those are the children who may require a pop. Knowing your child is the key to nailing down the most effective forms of discipline. While some studies have shown the negative effects of spanking, today’s disrespectful youth have shown what happens when necessary spanking is forgone. Controlled, purposeful spanking is not abuse. Impulsive spanking out of anger and frustration is abusive. Believe it or not, it is not unrealistic to teach a child to obey the first time—tough but not impossible.

If you’re not spanking and you have a child who is testing you time and time again, you may want to consider picking out a switch before he (or she) ends up on Beyond Scared Straight. Here’s why:

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  • Sandra

    I’ve never hit my kid.
    She is now a well-adjusted teen who gets good grades in school, voices her opinion while being respectful of others, and is emotionally stable (unlike most of her peers).
    I believe that spanking is lazy parenting that gets short term results at the expense of the child’s long term emotional well-being.
    It takes 2 seconds and no thought to smack your kid when their behavior displeases you. While the child might stop the behavior out of fear (at least while you are watching) it does nothing to teach your child WHY what they did was wrong, or allow the child an opportunity to make amends for his wrongdoing.

    On the other hand, it takes time and effort to follow through with consequences that actually help a child develop a conscience, and allow him to rectify the wrong that has been done.
    Example: You child carelessly breaks a neighbor’s window.Which scenario helps the child learn from his mistake?
    A: The father apologizes to the neighbor, pays for the damage, and then punishes the kid by hitting him with a belt.
    B: The father has the child apologize to the neighbor, the father and son replace the window together, and the son repays the father the cost of the window by doing chores.

    Scenario A is a lot less effort for the parent (It is over and done with in 20 minutes) but the child does not learn how to rectify a mistake and the relationship between parent and child is damaged.

    Scenario B requires more parental effort, yet the child learns far more from the situation, and the relationship between parent and child is strengthened.

    Spanking is for lazy parents who want their kids to blindly obey out of fear.

    My kids questions EVERYTHING and this is a GOOD THING.

    • pennyroyal

      well-said. The old way is just bullying and teaches nothing but fear and anger at the father–and at life, which has become hard to fathom.

  • Jarrett Wilson

    Since when did a spanking become a savage beating?

    Ever played that game where you try to slap another persons hands, I guess if we see kids playing that it’s safe to assume they are savagely beating each other.

    Reality is a swatt on the butt and a savage beating or even beating are to different things.

    Logic is a failing trend these days.


    If you are savagely beating someone it’s to cause them harm, maybe death, or injury. You are doing it over and over again in a way that is dehumanizing.

    A spanking is negative feed back to negative actions.

    Do something bad, act a fool and there are consequences for those actions.

    You should be afraid of a spanking, you SHOULD instill fear in your child.

    If there is no fear, they may play in the street, they may touch the stove, they may play with guns. A certain level of fear is human, it’s what keeps us alive.

    Again terrorizing someone and instilling a healthy level of fear are two separate things both instinctively and environmentally

  • Tom

    This article is terrible. You don’t give a single reason why soanking is necessary or better than other forms of discipline. Not one. The minute you act as though it is ok that fear and respect could be the same I knew this article was lame. Try being worthy of respect and have enough self control to not give into base impulses. “Some children need it. Period” whoa, there is a compelling argument. “Some people can fly. Period.” “Pigs can fly. Period.” It is simple awesome how periods have the power to make anything i want to be true true! I’m not totally against the idea of spanking a kid every once and awhile but all this article does is contribute to the notion that the pro spanking crowd don’t have a leg to stand on. If your opinions are this lacking in substance then it is time to consider the possibility that your opinions are wrong. Just cause mommy and daddy spanked you doesn’t make it right.

  • ftaohf

    This article can only be described as sadistic pornography. Let’s go through these points one by one.
    1. Tough does not mean brutal. A strong person will demonstrate that they can control their desire to be violent.
    2. This is ghetto speak. There is no relationship between fear and respect. There are people that I am frightened of but I respect none of them. I respect those that stand up for unpopular causes and have the courage to do what is right. Read Kipling’s ‘If’.
    3. No physical pain is as effective as learning that we do not have the approval of our parents.
    4. If you want them to have self control, demonstrate to them that you have it.
    5. Accountability has nothing to do with physical violence. Image a policeman telling you to hold out your hand for a caning instead of giving you a parking ticket.
    6. If you want to set standards, show them that authority does not require bullying.
    7. Strength has nothing to do with violence. The self esteem question is irrelevant. The only lesson the spanking will teach the child is that brute force allows the strong to do what they wish.
    8. You mean some adults need it and then need to justify their failure. If you feel the need to abuse you children, seek help.
    I have raised my three children, 2 boys and a girl, without ever raising my hand to them. I am happy to say that they are now balanced, responsible adults in their 30s and are raising their own polite, boisterous children without beating them. Just look at societies where corporal punishment is forbidden and you will see that the levels of crime and violence are lower.
    If a single person reads this comment and as a consequence, stops or at least hesitates before raising his hand to his children, I would be proud. Shame on you if as a result of reading your article someone hurts their child.

  • jfarmer017

    Tiny thought experiment: if spanking was such an effective method for producing well behaved, right acting individuals, then shouldn’t black men be among the most well-behaved, right-acting people in America? And yet, they’re disproportionately disciplinary problems from pre-school all the way through high school. They also commit the highest amounts of per capita crime. 13% of the population but commit more than 50% of all of the murders in the country. Introducing violence into the lives of small, developing children teaches them that violence is the solution to a problem. Hence, we have a county that is plagued by black violence.

  • Nina

    I actually disagree with this article. First of all, I believe any kind of violence is wrong even if it is to correct your kids, or even stop them from being violent you yourself are being violent. Even worse if you spank your kids for being violent you are being a hypocrite. I know that sounds offensive, but please think about it. You hit your children, yet tell them not to hit. That does sound hypocritical doesn’t it. Now those who disagree with me may bring up the golden rule. “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” It is not “treat others as they have treated others (or you). It is important to teach our children that violence is never the answer. Others may also bring up that the Bible endorses corporal punishment. Which I will hand it to you, in a way it does. The Proverbs verse that says the “rod” imparts wisdom and tells not to lack discipline with or child.The verse is not bout physical punishment at all. It is about discipline in general. The reason it mentions the “rod” is because physical discipline was normal at that point in time, and nobody thought it was wrong. Thank you for reading my comment I know it was quite long I’m just trying to examine different view-points on this topic. I am trying my best not to judge anyone including those who spank. I am more about providing compassion and alternatives for those who spank than telling them their stance on the topic is wrong. (P.S I am sorry if if my use of the word “hypocrite” sounded demeaning or harsh I am actually just thankful that you read my comment and hope you are open to different thinking) Thanks!!

    • Jane

      i agree with Nina any violence is wrong even if it doesn’t hurt

  • Oscar K. Muhumuza

    5 yrs and counting and the debate goes on. For us to be here I suppose we want to find out whether what we are doing right or wrong which is nice but I bet we still do what many think is wrong. If you are conscious to seek other people’s opinion then to are most likely cautious not to hurt your baby. There is a question of fear and respect, when I spank my kid, am not asking him to respect me but I want him to associate bad action with fear, and when he does something nice I applaud him and make him feel nice about what he has done. My son now know clearly the meaning of the phrase “I will spank you” and I don’t have to do it because he responds well to the threat. I do think however that it must not go beyond 6 years because by that time the kid should have gradually learnt to listen attentively an understand the consequence of doing wrong things.

  • johnmcc

    Anyone who spanks is an abuser. Spanking your child is worse than hitting your spouse, because your spouse can defend themselves… your child on the other hand is likely a quarter your size and has no ability to defend themselves. They are completely at your mercy and have nowhere else to go. Your spouse can leave if they’re being abused as they should, but a child has no such option.

    Shame on anyone who agrees with this garbage written by an abuser who is trying desperately to justify their abuse.

  • Tavileylah

    Hilarious. I’ll go back to my unspanked, respectful, polite, kind, noncriminal children, and you guys can keep hitting your children and pretending everyone who doesn’t is the trouble with society. Tell me again how you learned respect from your childhood spankings, because every time you call someone who makes different choices than you an idiot or a p*ssy, you’re proving you only learned to be a callous, violent minded individual.

  • Ben

    I don’t have children, but I do have a cat. When he was bad, I used very harmless methods like blowing air onto his face, it didn’t hurt but he found it unpleasant and normally stopper biting. Then I stopped blowing and everything was normal.

    Young children may be the same as cats in the sense that you can’t talk to them. But most children (4-5+) can understand and can be reasoned with.

  • Daniel Ballow

    Why not teach children how to disobey civilly?

  • Anthony Bush

    My two brother’s and I were raised by a single parent , my Mom. I was an aggressive child growing up in the hood . I’m a loner by nature so time out would of been right down my alley , a breeze . Just talking and barking at me would roll right off my shoulder’s . My mother spanked us and I got the message . Proverbs 23:14 – Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Which one of you defy scripture ? If the Lord believed in spanking who are you to say it’s wrong ?Proverbs 22:15 – Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. That’s what’s wrong with us as a society we want to stray from the will of GOD !

  • TealRose

    How disgusting. You are trying to make something that is illegal and dangerous for adults sound like it is fine and dandy for children. It isn’t. Abuse is abuse. You can teach a child right from wrong without ever laying a finger on them. Which is what DISCIPLINE means, to teach. Not to hit.
    1) You are equating being hit with love. NOT good, nor riight. Just ask any spouse that has been hit. Love and hitting do not belong in the same sentence and before you say you aren’t raising your spouse – we all are learning all of our lives so why not have our bosses, the bank manager or the policeman hit you when you do wrong ? Or .. your spouse.

    2) Fear is not Respect, and you should understand that as an adult. Fear means you are afraid to do xyz, respect means you don’t do it because you know that it will hurt someone or damage something etc, and choose not to do it. You do not deserve respect just because you are over the age of majority. You want it then you show it and earn it .. it’s a two way street. If you don’t give children respect ie don’t hit them, how do you think they are going to learn it ? They might learn fear .. but really .. that is NOT a good thing. And you need to teach a child that not all adults and authority figures do NOT deserve respect and neither should they obey them. You teach a child to obey all adults/authority and you end up with pedofiles having a field day as that child will say ‘Yes sir !!’ and take off items of clothing and be harmed simply because they obey instead of having been taught discernment. You also end up with adults in courts shouting ‘ But I was only doing as I was ordered… !!!’ instead of having learned that some things .. you JUST DON’T DO !

    3) Consequences are NOT you hurting them. Consequences are little Johnny getting cold on his way home from school because he refused to put his coat on in the morning. Hitting is abuse and punishment. Neither are necessary. Your explanation and demonstration IS required.

    4) Again … are YOU hit when you make a poor decision .. or do you learn by REAL consequences ? ie … you spend more than you have in the bank … and you have your account frozen or you get a large fee added to it ??

    5) Bad ? Have you learned anything about age related behaviour ?? Don’t you know that children can’t think or reason like you so don’t deserve to be hit or punished but helped to understand ?

    6) You want to have them live within standards ? Then first read number FIVE about age related behaviour .. and then model RESTRAINT yourself. Teach them that you don’t HIT anyone. Ever. Unless in self defence or defence of another. Less violence applied means less violence in the world at the end of the day.

    7) You haven’t got it yet have you, your parents obviously didn’t teach yout his .. YOU DON’T HIT ANYONE! Use your words. Use demonstration. And READ reports of how much damage spanking aka hitting does do children. It’s hypocrisy to hit a child for hitting it’s sibling and stupid. Children who are spanked tend to become more violent, they become more mentally damaged in many ways, from lack of self esteem to feelings of sexual abuse ( what do you expect .. you just hit a part of the body ie their butt that if full of sexual nerves) to actually having a fetish that is often NOT wanted.

    8) Some kids need it! No .. NO ONE needs it ever. Spanking is for consenting adults and no one else. ( And there would be less consenting adults too because most fetishes are formed in childhood from being spanked)

    WHAT on earth can a child do that is worse than any crime an adult can do … any criminal ? Nothing … and yet criminals and you and me are protected under the law from being hit. Your whole article is based on fear – fear that you thrust on your children, and fear that YOU have that if you don’t hit them they will ‘go off the rails’ , on dislike of children and normal childish behaviour. Learn a few things:

    a) Sweden banned hitting children over 3 decades ago and now have the lowest levels of violence and abuse ever and are closing jails.

    b) The USA still spanks around 92% of all children and regularly. For a huge amount of children this can be at least weekly and even more than once a day! Do you really see this as working ?? I don’t .. because I don’t believe that the 8% of children who aren’t hit are causing all the woes in the American society.

    c) Don’t you know that most criminals WERE hit and that the USA has more prisons and people in jail than anywhere else on eartth ? And they were definitely of an age to been spanked .. see b) !

  • Spartan2814

    This is an absolute crock. Every single goal she mentioned can be achieved (better so) by alternative disciplinary methods. In fact, nearly all research points to significant evidence that spanking is often counterproductive to achieving the things she mentions here. And let’s get something else straight, “fear” and “respect” are NOT the same thing. Not even close. Spanking and/or hitting children creates anxiety, fear, distrust, and it creates a stronger association with the parent as a “punisher” then it does to dissuade them from their behavior. Read some research. It’s there. Just because spanking has been the status quo for parenting since who knows when, doesn’t mean it’s okay to sit back and keep on doing it when numerous bodies of empirical evidence clearly demonstrate it’s psychologically damaging effects and ineffectiveness as a disciplinary tool.

  • Free Association

    Yes, you really have to love something to assault it. Is that why kids aren’t allowed to spank their parents back – because they are incapable of the kind of love their parents have for them? This article is sickening.

  • DrPhilGood

    This issue is too complex to be viewed so narrowly. I think this article could be improved greatly by discussing -when- it’s appropriate to spank, not “pop” or hit in general. I believe the problem arises when parents don’t know how to use this last-resort tool or “get creative” with it.

  • Kris Hawkins

    I am disappointed in this article. Not because it promotes spanking children. There is a big difference between spanking and beating. It is because it only addresses goals that one could argue any number of forms of discipline could potentially correct. As a soon to be mother I have read studies about why a person shouldn’t spank their children but in the current political climate there is little to find out there that is in support of the practice. This is an article about why you should discipline you child not about why spanking is a correct form of discipline to use.

  • Richids Coulter

    “It also teaches them to submit to authority regardless of whether or not they agree”
    This alone right there is enough reason for me to NOT spank my child. Do you realize that Independence Day would not be celebrated if everyone submitted to authority? We overthrew a tyrannical government (something we desperately need to do again).

    • Daniel Ballow

      I wonder if they spank in North Korea….

  • Norma

    Whenever I read reasons to hit your kid, I can’t help but notice how ignorant and uneducated it sounds out loud. Stats show spanking tends to increase a child’s likelihood of reacting violently and the majority of criminals came from a “spanking is perfectly normal” household.

    From a personal viewpoint, every single person I know who is calm, nonviolent and have mild tempers was NOT spanked as a child. I was hit a few times growing up and I have had to work on my temper as an adult. Hitting is not the answer. If you’re a smart person with good common sense, you’ll find ways to discipline your kid without using brute force.

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  • Destinee Owen

    I am not one that thinks spanking is horrible or abusive. But I do disagree that spanking is necessary for any child, good or bad. There is a way to do all of those things and teach your child everything they need to know and more without spanking them. I was spanked twice in my life as a child, and not excessively. I had a fairly “normal” upbringing, as much as that word applies to a situation. Most parents who “need” to spank their child are not giving a good balance to the approval part of their relationship with their child. Spanking your child is the easy way out. The simple, “get it over with” method that many people use. In this day and time society values every minute and second of their day. We live in a self pleasing world where the quicker we solve problems, the better. You spank your child, they get the point, end of discussion. But sometimes, avoiding the spanking and taking out the time and commitment to teach your child what is right and wrong is the more difficult but more efficient route. Your young child won’t take a time out, so you spank them and it over with. When instead, you should be consistent. Return your child to time out not once or twice, but until. You do it until your child understands that it’s more worth their time to obey. Teach them to value you praise and your disappointments. No spanking or punishment could ever have taught me as much as the times when my dad looked at me and said, ” I’m not going to punish you, but I want you to know how truly disappointed in you I am.”

  • mel_k

    I’ve been working as a nanny for over ten years. I have never spanked a child, and I have never had a problem teaching them to make the right decisions or having them respect me.

    This is ludicrous, and dangerous.

  • Josiah Silas Michael

    I can only imagine the can of worms this comment section is.

    This is definitely something I struggle with. I don’t think parents who DO spank need 8 or 9 sentences helping them justify it (with no sources or research cited) Perhaps what they need is a guide on when/how to spank and this article didn’t have any of that. Don’t spank out of anger for instance, which just so happens to be when I’m most inclined to pop one of my kids. Also, can I pop them in the mouth? How hard is too hard? Is it different when a man does it as opposed to a woman? (which I hear all the time) I worked at a family portrait studio for 3 years and would constantly see parents who didn’t think they had any other tools in their parenting arsenal other than spanking, yelling, and intimidation. (sometimes I didn’t even think the kids were being that bad)

    If spanking is to be embraced on any level, it should be embraced responsibly and sparingly in conjunction with a variety of other techniques or consequences. Do I spank my kids for not cleaning up their toys, or do I just clean them up and put them out of reach so they don’t have them to play with the next day? Which is more related to the offense?

  • mark

    i respect all of your opinions, but childrens do need to know what is the consequence of their actions. for example: you always talk sweet to your child whenever he committed sins/mistakes. in future occurences what would the child think if he/she was about to do wrong????? oh, my mom will just talk bullsh** to me and all i have to do is cry and and everything will be fine… get the point? even he knows that something is wrong to do, if he knows how you deal with his sins, he will do it again.

    you dont need to spank your child “everytime” he does wrong, you MUST warn him first that if he did not listen to you he will get spanked.. so that if he gets spanked he is warned already and he knows why is he get spanked. you also need to remind/say to ur child that you only did that because you know what is best for him and it is for his own benefit. dont tell him what to do, instead teach him right and wrong and let him decide for his own what is right for him but you should guide him in his decisions, tell him what the consequences are.

    also, others say that they only do what you want because of fear. but it is better fear than doing it because of their pity for you

    • When it comes to spanking your Kids or spanking your children I do not feel like there is anything wrong with that and I wish more parents believed in spanking their
      The Problem with Parents is they let their kids get away with stuff
      and they are constantly saying don’t do this and don’t do that and it is like they do not seem to get the message
      So what you have to do is show them that message
      I told you not to do that didn’t I tell you not to do that?
      And you did what I told you not to do and you did it because you wanted to
      and for that reason you are about to be disciplined for your behavior
      For that reason you are about to get your behind spanked for doing what I told you not to do
      Your not going to get away with everything just because you think you can get away with it and for that reason I am going to have to punish you
      Then you go ahead and punish them for what they did wrong
      Parents need to stop being afraid to spank their children and I find a problem when they say that spanking is harmful I do not agree with that and I do not care what anybody says about it being harmful where that came from I do not know They say that there is other ways of disciplining your child but people need to understand that those things don’t always work
      Parents are to soft on their children because their children think they are being to hard on them but sometimes you have to be hard and show that when you do what is wrong things happen as a result of you doing wrong
      I also want to say this I need a clear definition of spanking and beating
      Because a lot of times a spanking seems like a beating and a beating a spanking Now for me I was spanked with a wooden paddle as discipline but it was different for me as far as how it was carried out along with how it was however it was only a few hits and it was over as far as the spanking with the paddle but now some people got the hairbrush and different objects were used on them but they were spanked to a sore red bottom and for a lot of people it was a non stop multiple thing and it seemed like it never ended but it is still labeled as a spanking
      but for me not like that then with caning as far as the cane I do not know if anybody uses that in their home for their children I know it is used in other schools and in other ways but sometimes it is a few hits and sometimes it is multiple hits and seems never ending and that is still considered as spanking but from what other people have called spanking and what has been spanking for me is different and to me there is no real definition and I need help
      I also never had Over the Knee Spanking either as well so it was not like others
      but need help in knowing and understanding the difference and need someone to please answer

    • Michelle

      There are other ways of disciplining children besides resorting to violence. SMH

  • Jack

    Next article: 8 Reasons to Beat your Slaves. Both approaches stem from the same need.

  • Jim

    Why not call it what it really is: hitting your kids. I was hit on the butt daily for years when I was a child. My father didn’t want me and my brother to be troublemakers like he had been. The problem was that his father had left and moved to another state when he was 7. The only thing the hitting taught me was to fear my father. It makes me so sad thinking about it. It’s such a terrible thing to do to a child.

  • Neal Wright

    Some modern day alternatives to spanking:
    1. After exhausting everything else, let the child do what he wants and the law can deal with him when he is 18.
    2. Get a Dr. to prescribe a drug that will emasculate him.
    3. Get a Dr. to prescribe you a drug that will cause you to not give a flip about anything.
    3. Hide from your kids, for example, get wrapped up in some hobby or project or lifestyle that keeps you away from them 99% of the time.
    4. Abandon them. Run away.
    5. Totally change your views on what good behavior in a child should be. Accept them just like they are. Love their habits, back talking, cursing you, disobedience, stealing, lying, cheating, fighting, whining, blaming etc. Rewrite your internal hard drive and then you can call good-bad and bad-good. BTW, calling spanking bad is part of this change.

    OR you could spank your kid when they need it!

    • Jim

      These are not the only options Neal.

      • Neal Wright

        Right, I’m just saying that many would rather do these before they would ever think of spanking.

    • Michelle

      OR you could educate yourself on other ways to discipline children that doesn’t involve violence.

  • Maria

    Hitting is not an option! It is immoral to hit, even more immoral to hit someone weaker then you and someone defenseless, no matter the reason! That’s why 37 countries already prohibited any kind of corporal punishment and see decline in violence! As for 8 “reasons” – I have not found a single one that cannot be achieved by peaceful methods, unless you are lazy to look up alternatives or have no patience and self-control to successfully implement them. I have never spanked nor ever will, my kids, and they are great, gentle, caring and have self-control without any urge and esp. violence toward them on my part! Children are humans too and we need to grant them equal bodily integrity and protection from violence in all settings!

  • Nermal

    Positive and negative reinforcement in a developing social brain. Nothing more. You can practice negative reinforcement by giving in to your child every time he or she screams for something…thereby creating an immature adult with a sense of entitlement. Or, you can place a well-timed swat upon said rear-end as a way to get a child’s attention and teach him or her that you are the authority in the situation. Notice I said “swat…” That’s a single swat. Not the same thing as repeatedly beating on the child over and over.

    • Michelle

      Hitting a child or giving in to them are not the only two options when it comes to disciplining a child. That’s the lazy person’s way out. WOW.
      If you were to hit (“swat”) an adult, you would be arrested for assault, but because it’s your child and because they are smaller than you, it’s somehow ok? You’re teaching that child that it’s ok to hit someone as long as they are smaller and younger than you. WTH?

  • The Buccaneer

    If more parents would give their kids a crack across the face when it was deserved, we wouldn’t have so many strung out on “ADHD” drugs, disrespecting adults, and so much violence in the schools.

    • Daniel Ballow

      Patently false.

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  • Rod Longhard

    If you disagree with this article, you’re an idiot.

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  • Ashley-Jaenelle

    I have never hurt my children in anyway. I practice love, patience and respect with my children and they are extremely well behaved, kind and respectful. No hitting or spanking here. Hitting and spanking does not teach respect. It teaches fear and rebellion. It teaches children to hold in their feelings, desires and needs. I think the reason why so many parents hit their kids is because it’s a fast solution and seems to work. There are many effects spanking and hitting leave on children as they grow into adults and many of them remain permanent and cause more problems. I was taught to fear authority by my father who spanked, slapped and hit every time I talked out of turn or touched something fragile, etc. This led to me being severely abused as an adult because I was terrified to defend myself. Say spanking your babies is fine all you want, you will probably regret it down the road.

  • j.a.

    Great article! LaShaun is right on and for exactly the right reasons. Firm discipline early on in life will make a difference to the child forever. Consequences which hurt are remembered much more than consequences in which something is taken away. One good spanking is worth 50 time-outs.

  • Blackwind137

    Y’all can say as you please. In the end, it’s the parent ‘s choice what to do. Hell, I myself was spanked. Did they do it at an age at which I could remember? It’s vague. Do I abuse people or have mental issues with the fact I was spanked? Hell no. If anything, it made me respect authority more. Those who say that spanking can not be done out of love, or it’s plain abuse, in reality almost everyone before the 1980s was spanked. How can it be done out of love? Because if a child doesn’t respect authority, doesn’t understand that they aren’t on top of the world, than they’ll think they can do as they please. Spanking can be done outta love by the fact that the parents don’t want them getting in trouble because they don’t understand the concept. Abuse? By that logic, everyone throughout history should’ve been arrested for “abuse”. It was a common punishment. Personally, it taught me respect. And I have amazingly healthy relationships with everyone I know. If you were spanked to the point of bleeding or anything like that, then yes. You were abused. But spanking is a form of disaplain. And in the end, it’s not the worlds decision if it’s used on a parents child, it’s the parents choice. So get off your high horses, stop using the bible- a MAN MADE text scewed by years of rewrites- and understyand that you can debate all you want, but it ain’t your choice. Think I’m tellin y’all my thoughts to convert you to my beliefs? No. So don’t think that. You self-centered asshats. I’m doin exactly what y’all are doin.

    • Daniel Ballow

      No “in the end,” the rest of the world will have to deal with the consequences of stupid parenting decisions.

  • Hey look, nine logical fallacies written by a racist black woman who appears — on all accounts — to be highly uneducated.

  • Osiir

    Spanking is wrong. Reason 1, love? Get the f out of here. If you loved your kids, you would find ways around using violence to abuse them.

  • Sarah K

    I totally agree with this article. My kids (10&3) both get spanked. Sometimes only once, sometimes repeatedly in one setting. It won’t kill them.

    Today’s world is FULL of disrespectful little breads and I predict that the crime rate is going to skyrocket once these little breads reach adulthood.

    Let’s face it, timeouts don’t work…nor will they ever.

    A spanking is nothing compared to what life will throw at them if they mess up. A judge is not going to sentence them to a ten-minute time out if they break the law…No, their butts are gonna go to jail for years or the rest of their lives.

    • The crime rate is already skyrocketing amongst blacks who are spanked. Been to Chicago lately? Seen the statistics about black violence lately? What you’re doing isn’t working.

    • Jim

      So it’s either timeouts or hitting? There’s more options Sarah.

    • Michelle

      You’re hitting your 3 year old child?!! What’s wrong with you?

  • blwpyrtv

    “In some states, it is still legal to use a weapon against a child’s bare flesh and leave marks for immediate compliance”

    Actually, that’s pretty much true in ALL 50 states.

  • blwpyrtv

    Cruelty–not anger–is the essence of abuse. To illustrate, consider this controlled and purposeful spanking:

    “The little blond-haired boy is about four years old. He simpers as a
    middle aged woman drags him downstairs into a dimly-lit cellar and
    orders the child to bend over and touch the stone floor with his hands.
    Another little boy watches as the woman pulls down the first boy’s pants
    and then draws out a willow cane.

    “’Say you are tired,’ commands the woman in an emotionless
    voice. The swoosh of the willow cane is audible as it strikes the
    screaming child’s bottom three times. The little boy refuses to say he
    is tired so he is hit again and again – a total of ten times – until, in
    floods of tears, he finally says, ‘I am tired.’ Within
    the space of a few hours, six adults are filmed in the cellar and in an
    underground school central heating room beating six children with a
    total of 83 strokes of the cane. . .”

    [source: The Independent, September 10, 2013]

  • Peter

    Great blog,
    Short, clear, helpful.
    Loving thoughtful parents spank their kids when they need it.

    • Angela

      Loving thoughtful parents love their children enough to do a minimum of 15 minutes worth of research. Physically assaulting a child is permanently damaging.

  • Cdc123

    So many parents in today’s society think spanking is awful for children. Even though the ones who say that are the ones who I see their children controling them. I go to eat at a restraunt and hear parents tell their children that if they mind they will get a candy bar or a “reward” because that children is acting up. If the parents were to be the one in control that child would either mind them or get a swat on the bottem for disrespecting. I was spanked as a child when I didn’t obey and I turned out just fine. Most people who had to mind there parents are the people who agree with spanking. I can’t go into public without seeing a screaming child or a disrespectful one. But when I see a parent who is “In Charge” and actually being a parent I want to clap for them. There is a difference in abuse when your child has done no wrong and you beat them but thats a different situation. I feel sorry for the children who their parents think they have to be their friend because all they are doing is making that childs life a lot harder in the long run when they are not taught to be respectful.

    • Anecdotes and nonsense. I see rovings gangs of blacks who were likely spanked knocking people out and driving the murder rate in Chicago through the roof. You’re full of it.

    • Sophia

      I was spanked as a child when I didn’t obey and I turned out just fine.
      I didn’t. It cost me 20 years of my life, and now I have this deep hatred inside me and I feel like hitting people like you.
      Setting boundaries and parenting doesn’t mean spanking. But then, studies say that children who were spanked have lower IQ, is that your problem, is that why you can’t see the difference?

  • Andrea

    Everybody hit your children all day make them cry they will be thankful one day.Bad parents are those who are nice,these are true criminals.

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  • Angela

    I can not stand when someone says that a non spanker must not have children. I do. I also worked for the Boys and Girls clubs for three years. First year, a Teen Center for the most troubled and rebellious teens in my county. My second year, a club specifically revolving around the most outstanding special needs cases. Third year, troubled children. We saw them more than their parents did. 14 hour shifts. My aunt is a child psychologist who worked with a group of children who were in need of serious help. They were burned, gang raped, placed in ovens as punishment and worse (and yes it gets much worse from there). If ALL of these children can have their behavior modified and their respect for our society restored without physical violence, what children are you referring to who *need* to be hit? The places mentioned above, day cares, summer camps, girl scouts, the little gym, there are hundreds of facilities that work with children that will teach you skills to correct behavior without harming ANYONE and they accept new volunteers daily. There are hundreds of free programs that offer advice and resources to parents. No child ever NEEDS to be hit.

    • Sophia

      Thank you. The world needs more people like you. Its the spankers who need to stop reproducing.

  • wolfcat

    There are nearly 200 scientific studies proving that spanking is bad which is why it’s banned in 30+ countries. Some of the best people I know were never spanked. There’s a huge difference between discipline and punishment.
    One is teaching a child to be the best person they can be, the other is
    trying to make them hurt for upsetting you and does not teach them
    anything good. How many prisoners have you met who were ever spanked?
    It’s a very short list. There is always a better solution than violence,
    and violence only begets violence, negativity, and fear.

  • Mable

    I was under the impression that this was satire haha! Most of the reasons given are knowledge stunting techniques meant to beat children into submission! Fear is not the same as respect and I have never had respect for someone who wants to hit me. I value intelligence, creativity, empathy, and SELF control over blind obedience. Spanking doesn’t foster any of these qualities, ESPECIALLY not empathy or self control. Children don’t misbehave out of fear. Not out of understanding! They don’t focus on the right answer because they’re just concerned with what the wrong answer is! This stamps out empathy and self-governing behavior. I still kind of hope this was a satire piece :/

  • will

    This author does not make any sense. She seems to believe that spanking is the only form of punishment. “Some kids need it, period.” Well, that’s great reasoning. ” …you have to get that butt.” Are we supposed to take this seriously?

    Spanking IS weak. It is done by frustrated parents who themselves lack discipline and want a quick fix. Spanking teaches a child to fear you. Great, but it does nothing, NOTHING to promote self-reliance or self respect.

    Noted researcher Murray Strauss linked corporal punishment to “(1) increases anti-social behaviors such as lying, cheating, disobedience, and bullying; (2) decreases children’s IQs; and (3), increases the risk of sexual problems later on in life. ”

    Other reaserch shows higher liklyhood for depression, alienation and, “they tend to hold less desirable jobs and have lower earnings. For those and other reasons, many researchers are against spanking.”

    OR you can just take this woman’s advice.

  • Michelle

    It is not like parents just love to spank their kids: They don’t. Yeah, sure, you get abusive people out there, and those people do need to separate from their children until they can control themselves. But look at our generation now. It is not out of the norm to go to a grocery store and see kids throwing fits to the point of ridiculousness. I saw a kid actually smack him mom in the face for making him sit down. What does she do? “Now, now, Aiden, that is not nice.” What??? If I did that when I was young my butt would have been in the bathroom quicker than a president’s drop in approval ratings. And it would have been sore as hell. Don’t get me wrong, I am against kids getting smacked out of anger, that is not right at all. But some kids really do need that extra pop sometimes. Drugs are worse than they ever have been. Crime is worse than it ever has been. Between people thinking they are in charge of repopulating the planet and then on top of that not teaching their kids what consequences are, we are headed for some serious problems. I will not have my child be a part of that, period.

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  • Empathy

    These are all great ideas… If you want your child to lose trust in you, fear you and and feel controlled. Y you. Try gaining some patience and understanding of child development instead. We’d live in a much more peaceful world with less spanking parents and spanked kids.

    • Deni

      Amen to that.

  • Since So Many People Were Not Offended By This Disgusting “Parenting” Piece, I’d Like to Invite You to Read My New Article  “8 Reasons to Beat Your Wife”.

    • Sophia

      Yup. Until recently you could discipline you wife, same low IQ arguments, same “oh but its not abuse its love”. Now, its called domestic abuse.

  • Guest

    There is  nothing wrong with spanking , it how you do it.  Spanking a child vs hitting one is totally two separate thing. The baby boomer generation didn’t turn out bad, I bet plenty of us had spanking and turn out to be Professional people (I did and give thank to  my parents everyday for their love).

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  • Pastgenerations

    You guys are all idiots, frankly. In the past, there was never any of this non-spanking bullshit, and look at all of the past generations? I guess every generation before this one grew up to be violent, non-disciplned stupid childish adults, OH WAIT, that’s  this one. As a parent,you aren’t there to make friends, you’re there to make your child into the best productive citizen of the world he can be, discipline is good, and a bit of pain is understood by everyone. Every argument i’ve seen made by “professionals” is always super invalid, I guess EVERY child prior to this messed up generation, that’s been proven to be the ONLY generation in history, to accomplish less than their parents is messed up huh?

  • Areinhard4

    this is ridiculus, whoever wrote this is VERY ignorant

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  • Guest

    If an adult hit another adult on the butt, it is considered sexual harassment…how is this not the same for a child?  They are people too.  Spanking is also not Biblical.  The rod is a tool used to guide sheep.  Therefore, we should “start off children in the way they should go.  When they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

  • Sha-sha

    anyone that say spanking is wrong and no child should be hit either hasnt have children, or their child is a wimp and follows all the rule(unlikely) or their child is the that bart that stealing or blow a tamper. There are worst things to do to a child than tap their a**,,, what does sending a child to their room say to them (I DON”T LOVE GET OUT OF MY FACE) that a great message where as a spanking it says i love you enough to deal with this and to teach you right from wrong. Grounding is stupid it waste the childs time and forces you not to be able to play games or watch a movie with them. Modern punishment take time away from spending time with your child. I personally thing people who ground their child it because they dont want to spand time with the child. Its an excuse to get them off their back and that wrong. no wonder children today dont feel loved unconditionally. and grow up with selfeestem problems. Honestly talking to your child is the best but when they dont listen a tap on the butt wont hurt it just shows them your serious.

    • Jon zamon

      And good children come from people who know who “hasnt have children”, or about “barts that stealing” What are “selfeestem” problems? What I’m getting at is how can you teach a child right from wrong in terms of reading and writing with these examples? Also, time-out to calm down is simply rejection, so it should be “let’s get this done fast so we can all move on and have some fun my love, SMACK POW POP BANG all done dear, now let’s watch that movie.

    • Jon zamon

      And good children come from people who know who “hasnt have children”, or about “barts that stealing” What are “selfeestem” problems? What I’m getting at is how can you teach a child right from wrong in terms of reading and writing with these examples? Also, time-out to calm down is simply rejection, so it should be “let’s get this done fast so we can all move on and have some fun my love, SMACK POW POP BANG all done dear, now let’s watch that movie.

  • Jambox5000

    How to know you stumbled onto a black webpage: reading this non-sense.

  • CJ

    I agree with this. I would never “hit” my child, but i would give her a swap on the butt. I resent that people use the words “hit” and “spank” interchangeably, they’re Not the same.

  • blkstudent

    The problem is, a lot of people spank without telling the kid what they did wrong. If you don’t let the child know why whatever they did was wrong, no punishment (spanking or otherwise) will work. I was spanked but my mom told me why I was getting a spanking. And she never did it while she was mad and it was usually a last resort. No switches or anything was used. I wasn’t spanked after like age 8 and probably was only spanked like 3 times. I don’t fear my mom or feel abused and I’m not trying to say you should spank because it’s in the bible. Also spanking affects different races differently. It usually is very harmful for white children because it’s not culturally normative for them to be spanked. Also, I don’t believe the studies on spanking pay attention to other factors that could make a child more aggressive or depressed. Look at how much violence is on TV and in other media that children see, also what if they grew up in an impoverished neighborhood or something. This author really should’ve included some facts though. And I’m black, btw.

    • Jon zamon

      Very racist. Color determines what works best for each child. Are you a eugenics specialist? You know, that bogus profession that the Nazis applied.

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  • Holly

    Remember, children are people too! Children are only able to achieve their full
    potential when they are their own individual. An individual with their own

  • Leslieannalvarado

    100%agree, I refuse to have a brat child!

  • Student

    YES! Spanking is NOT abuse when done in a calm, disciplinary measure towards children. I was spanked as a child, but only when i truly deserved it. It taught me to be respectful and follow the rules. Students in my school who have never been spanked and raised on permissive parenting are far less successful academically and are more prone to use drugs and alcohol than myself and others who have been properly raised. I definitely do not think that it should be used often or for minor instances, but big issues absolutely cannot go unpunished.

    • Daniel Ballow

      What if the rules are unjust?

  • TealRose

    Fatty McFurry – look at the dictionary. Spanking IS hitting – as is whipping/caning/paddling etc etc. Also discipline means to teach – it does NOT mean to hit.

    If you cannot 'teach' a child without hitting it one should not have a child anywhere near you – the same as if you can't control yourself around your colleagues, friends, wife, husband etc when they do things you don't like, you shouldn't be around adults either!

    There is NO reason ever to hit a child period. It is lazy and damaging – and I know all about that at 57. My children were not hit or treated badly in any way – and are now wonderful adults, as are my growing grandchildren who are not hit either.

    HItting is disrespectful in the extreme. I have never respected or trusted anyone who hits me .. why should I ?? As an adult one needs to earn respect just as children do too – and that means by showing respect – you don't get respect just because you are older and larger than another being!

    At 35 you should still be able to show your children love, care, kindness, gentleness, respect instead of violence – and thereby gain children who are kind, gentle and respectful of all beings – instead of mean spirited and resentful !

    • Zacharia99

      Well let me help you off your self-righteous pedestal.  You are so blinded by what’s actually going on in the world because of your extremely rare situation.  More and more kids are flat out disrespectful and undermining authority because their parents are being kind and gentle when their kids are showing signs of misbehaving.  Oh, you got caught for shoplifting…well sweetie, it’s only fair that you spend five minutes in time out…

      • Don Nacho

        Studies show that most parents still spank their children, sometimes reports as high as 90% of people. So the supposedly strictly-disciplined children are among those “flat out disrespectful and undermining authority.” Maybe children have problems because parents are getting divorced more
        often instead? Maybe they’re loosing their identity in the constant and
        increasing testing and pressure in the school systems? Maybe because we’re in
        international economic crisis and there is stress and problems for the
        whole family in general? Maybe the violent and sex-obsessed images we pander to them in television and in movies are taking an effect? It is a defensive and intolerant attitude to turn around a place the blame on methods of punishment that are not physical, a line of thinking surprisingly consistent with giving a beating to someone who does something THAT you don’t like. I think insecurity especially and frustration is at the root of insistence on corporal punishment, though it is mistaken by some as power. Zacharia, the tone of the comment you wrote is an example, you get sarcastic and mad, rather than debating solutions with consideration. People just want their problems to go away, without much thought, which is why we fall into a simplistic even illogical reassuring ourselves– oh they MUST have had weak parents, even though we have no knowledge of a specific situation. It is as easy as slapping and slapping someone on the back, but life is more complicated than that.

  • I found this post googling "Spank your kids". I am Asian, and my culture advocates spanking. I think there is a big difference between "spanking" and "hitting". Spanking actually takes control on the disciplinarian's part- it may be a tap on the bottom that is just hard enough to where it smarts. Hitting is abuse, and beating your kid as if they were equal to an adult.

    I am 35, and many in my generation are parents who refuse to discipline their kids. Time outs and taking away things can only work so much- there are some kids who require much more discipline. Many in my generation also treat their kids as "friends" first rather than parents, then wonder why their kids are so uncontrollable, why their kids don't respect them, and why their kids take advantage of them.

    • aprilharney

      I agree with spanking in some situations.  I think it if is done properly it should not be confused with hitting.  Whenever one of my children needed to be spanked, I always waited until my initial anger at their actions passed.  Sometimes, this took a while.  I was willing to wait most of the day if that’s how long it took.  Next, I always sat down with the child first and explained why they were being punished. Until I was confident they understood, I didn’t stop talking.  Nor did I rush this part.  Next, I always used an object.  I preferred a little wooden paddle.  I didn’t want my kids associating my arm with hitting.  I always pulled down their pants (not their underwear though) and made them bend over my knee.  Than, I would carefully spank until I saw just a few tears. That’s a lot different that slapping someone across the face or punching them.  My children always understood what a spanking was and why they were getting it.  I found it to be an effective way to discipline.  I am totally against abuse, but reasonable spanking has its place.

      • Sophia

        Yea. That’s pretty much what I went through. You undressed them, (sexual abuse – try doing that to a person in the street and see where it gets you) and then physically hurt them. Until tears.
        I’m sure you truly believe you love them (just like all abusive people), just like parents who subject their daughter to FGM because they want to “protect them”, but believe me, I absolutely hate your guts and wish you to die a horrible painful death that I would personally orchestrate. I can’t help it, my parents did the same thing to me, and ruined 20 years of my life, destroyed my self esteem and filled me with white hot hate for people like them : you. Sorry.
        What you are describing is abuse.

  • abigail9609

    "Spanking will not damage their self esteem." That is a lie. It damaged mine.

  • TealRose

    Spoken more like a person with gentleness and kindness in their heart. Bill – you are totally right. No-one should be hitting anyone. Especially not our vulnerable children.

    If parents use spanking as a 'last resort' what are they going to do, if and when it doesn't work? Hit harder and longer ?? Madness….

  • TealRose

    Well James, you sure have confused discipline [which means TO TEACH] with being beaten and hit ! Hitting is NOT respectful and if an adult wants respect then they have to give respect and show a reason as to why they deserve it – it's a two way street. I don't and never HAVE respected anyone who hits or wants to hit me.

    It is time for adults to LEARN how to properly bring up children with love, grace and kindness that will teach the children how to behave with others and eventually we will have a much better, kinder, gentler and stronger world for it, with all of us getting along with each other with greater tolerance and care.

    I am 57. one doesn't have one's character built by being hit – one has one's character built by learning right from wrong and learning how to differentiate the difference when one is on their own without the 'benefit' of a parent standing over them physically or mentally with their belt etc in one hand. One has to KNOW what is right to do for right's sake – not merely to avoid being hit.

    If YOU and I are safe under the law from being hit – why on earth shouldn't our vulnerable, children ??

    • Feminism1999

      If YOU and I are safe under the law from being hit – why on earth shouldn’t our vulnerable, children ??

      This is the question that I will always ponder.  Why are there various laws against adult abuse (ex., spousal abuse, elder abuse, assault and battery, etc,) but not one specific law stating the same thing for children?  People please wake up.  Just like adults are not another individual’s property to be used and abused, children should be perceived in the same matter. 
      If you hit an adult because they did not listen to you, you will be arrested…this should be the same rule when you do it to children. 

       If you yell and slap an adult because they upset you tremendously, you will be arrested…this should be the same rule when you do it to children.

      If you grab an adult and hit them with an object (belt, shoe, your hand), you WILL be arrested…this should be the same rule when you do it to children.

      Perhaps instead of sending parents to jail, there can be mandatory programs to assist them in obtaining more productive and postive parenting skills.

      • Tha Boogster

        I’ve always thought the exact same thing. We’re raising them to be adults, to be hard working individuals but a boss would never put their hands on an employee for turning a spreadsheet in late. Common sense

        • Daniel Ballow

          Well, they used to be able to…

  • james

    "as a childless person". I see why you are clueless. yes, perhaps your parents did it wrong (obviously),respect is necessary in dicipline,striking a child in public is humiliating for them,spanking a child in private is dicipline. If your parents did so bad raising you then you dont have the credability to even respond to this thread.

    • TealRose

      There is NO reason why a childless person should not be able to have sense and be able to comment. And spanking a child ANYWHERE is NOT discipline it's punishment and a cruel one that is a 'quick fix' and a very lazy way of parenting. Children do not need to be hit to be taught right from wrong. If you feel that children 'need' to be hit – you shouldn't be anywhere NEAR them ..

    • Feminism1999

      I am not childless and I do not spank my children.  Respect is demonstrating through actions (not just words), that I value who you are.  And respecting them means doings this in public AND in private. 

    • lorimakesquilts

      She was a child once, a child that was subjected to violent discipline. She has every right to respond and more right than someone who wasn’t a victim of violence.

  • james

    this country has went downhill since people have confused beatings with discipline.i was beat when i was a child,i was whipped when i was a child,as a child i knew the difference.people today no longer have respect because thier parents didnt teach them consequences for thier actions.we have raised a nation of sissys and lazy bums.all the result of not wanting to "hit" the child.its time for the parents to grow a backbone and teach our furture respect before our future votes to youthenize the elderly and we get our just reward.seem farfetched?you cant dissagree that the new generations are getting lazier and more disrespectful.we werent like that because we faced adversity and overcame it building our character.the new generations have had everything handed to them. can you guess my age?

    • lorimakesquilts

      I most certainly can disagree that new generations are lazier and more disrespectful. That hasn’t been my experience at all. They are most certainly different from my generation as well they should be. The world has changed during my life time, a lot, and in ways that were incomprehensible when I was a teen. Of course our children have different values when it comes to learning and working and life in general. That doesn’t make them lazy or disrespectful or undisciplined. It simply means they view the world differently.

      My young son, cousins and my nieces and nephews are all great kids who are nothing like me at the same age. So what? They are also incredibly giving and generous, thoughtful about their actions, show amazing dedication to their goals, and are driven to learn about the world so they can be fulfilled in their lives. They are also all growing up without violence in their lives.

  • Samuel Greén

    This is basically a list of things that are good, then it says "if you spank your kids this will happen".

  • Bill

    Noone is allowed wo inflict violence upon another living creature! Inflicting pain upon the weakest, smallest members of society is a crime! In the 50ies it was ok to spank your wife if it was "good, loving spanking and she really deserved it". Now this is called abuse and rightfully so.
    If you need spanking as "last resort", you have previously failed as parent. Badly. Do not punish the child for your poor parenting skills, or for your not being able to teach discipline.

  • Happy1

    Lady, Your words are terrible. Spanking of any kind is a terrible, dirty, disgusting, violent attack on a defenseless child. Advocating violence on a child out of LOVE is a twisted midset. I would never consider hitting any child, and certainly not my own. Our children deserve our authority, guidance, and learning, but they most assuredly do not deserve your kind of LOVE.

  • christin

    OK People, lets look at what has happen since we have stopped disciplining our children. Our "time out" generation is more violent then any other!! They need metal detectors in schools to see to it these children don't murder eachother! Children need discipline, boundries, and consequences. Do we really believe that when we put a child in time out they are thinking about what they did? Do you remember being a child? A child needs to understand that there is right and wrong and it is our job as parents to see to it that they learn this before they become an adult. I spank my children as a last resort, usually after weeks of discussions, groundings, taking every electronic and privilage away. Sometimes it is the only thing that works. I hate doing it, sometimes I cry along with them, but I feel that it is my job to rectify the behavior before it gets any worse.

    • TealRose

      Actually you are wrong – the time we are living in is WAY more peaceful despite the wars and street violence, than any other time in history.

      I live in Europe where hitting children has been banned period – and people couldn't be more polite and helpful and kind.

      Your job is to help that child grow up and learn right from wrong yes – but NOT to hit it into submission.

    • Angela

      The crime rates have been dropping annually in the U.S. for the past two decades. Nations which banned corporal punishment have seen their crime rates plummet. Nations with the highest acceptance of corporal punishment and most lenient laws regarding it have the highest crime rates, where the opposite is true of nations with strictest laws and lowest acceptance.

      The same can be said of states in the U.S. North Carolina has some of the most lenient laws as does Texas. Highest crime rates. Maine has the lowest acceptance, lowest crime rates. Teen pregnancy rates, drug use, mental and physical health rates, education success rates, et cetera are all examples of other statistics which follow suit in a more than coincidental pattern.

    • Diana Russell

      I am strongly against spanking i think it is horrific and EVIL!!!!!

  • Danika the Lesbrarian

    How does teaching your child to fear you teach them to make good decisions? How does it teach them restraint? It teaches them that they should obey the rules because if they don't they will be punished. If they don't think they will be caught or punished, why should they obey? And I don't see how teaching your child to obey authority because they fear pain otherwise is a good lesson for life.

    • That guy

      Well isn’t that life if you don’t listen to authority your punished. If you you don’t follow the law aren’t u punished. A lesson is a lesson I’m not saying beat your children for ever little mistake here I’m talking extreme cases where they don’t understand adult reasoning. They are still children after all.

      • lorimakesquilts

        You are not punished by violence if you don’t follow the rules. You are censured in some way — isolation, confinement, fines, job loss, etc. None of those are violent (or shouldn’t be, prison is less than successful there.)

        Those are real-life consequences that can be mirrored in establishing consequences for a child. Beating is not an acceptable punishment in this society or any civilized society.

  • Kira

    Come out of the dark ages. Teaching and bodily pain are two different things, and whoever invented the rule that pain should be used to teach was a barbaric idiot. It is just unfortunate that this heartless, degrading, mean-spirited way of handling children became so firmly ingrained in human culture that many people still don't think twice about approving its use. Spanking is something that is automatically accepted as normal and appropriate without anyone pausing to truly think about what is actually being done to the child. We are strongly opposed to the sexual touching of children and are very aware that sexual touches are unwelcome to a child, but no one stops to realize that a painful touch done to them by an adult is every bit as unwelcome to them as a sexual one, and they feel every bit as violated by it.



      • TealRose

        Yes, and Jesus told us to be gentle ..to love one another and to suffer little children to come to Him. He NEVER ever told us to hit them. You can't reason with small children no, but that is NO excuse for hitting them! I now live in Portugal, and as such do not yet speak the language – now… do you expect the locals to hit me when I can't understand them ?? No !!!

        As an adult we can think of many ways of disciplining our children – which btw means to teach – without hitting them. I didn't hit mine and they are now great, kind, gentle adults.

        Good LOVING people don't hit anyone, especially defenceless children. Love and spanking/hitting don't even belong in the same sentence let alone in the mind of a child! Respect children and they will respect you. Adults have to earn respect … it's a two way street

      • TealRose

        I as a 57 yr old – ALWAYS felt being spanked was wrong. I ALWAYS knew there was NO difference in hitting and spanking they ARE the same thing and have NO place in child rearing. The rod of correction – was actual knowledge and teaching … the rod that the shepherd used was a massive stick to keep away wolves and predators it was NOT used to hit the sheep, it was used to protect them and to help them by hooking them to safety.

        Hitting destroys the relationship between children and parents. It is far more destructive than a lot of people give it credit for. Teaching and helping a child to learn takes more effort on the parent's part – but then that is what parenting is about. It is not about 'quick fixes' that teach violence….

        • JC

          You dont realize. I was spanked as a kid, and i LOVE my parents to death. It was good for me. My father gave me a warning: disobey, or obey. if I didnt obey, i’d face the consequences, just like the real world. putting your children in time out? really? “Go to your room and watch TV” or something along those lines.. That is all modern day parents are going to do. thats SUCH a HORRIBLE punishment eh? OR just give your child the warning to behave, or face the concequenses… YES it is ABUSE and it’s called “HITTING” IF!!!! it has no real cause and no intent on correction. NO you should NOT hit your child if they do something like.. Stay up past their bed time. I can remember as a child (note, i am currently 16), My mother grounded me up until i was.. i dont know, 11? My dad spanking me only lasted until i was about 6 or 7.. And i can say I love him for what he did and what he made out of me. I am proud of what he did.

          PUNISHMENT SHOULD ALWAYS BE FOLLOWED UP BY LOVE. If you teach them that chastisement is easier to deal with than corporal punishment, they will be more hesitant to break rules. You can’t say you’d rather be beaten than put in your room. JUST IN MODERATION should children be spanked, and ONLY out of love.

          • lorimakesquilts

            “Punishment should always be followed up with love.”

            That’s an abuser’s tool. Disgusting.

            You are describing lazy parenting. There are always non-violent alternatives to underscore the consequences of undesirable actions. ALWAYS. If you don’t know your child well enough to determine what that is then you’re a crap parent who needs to get to know your kids better, not beat them.

          • Shota

            “Punishment should always be followed up with love.”

            Sounds like manipulation and emotional abuse! LOL!

            How about I slap you, then I give you 10 dollars for slapping you? Then I slap you again, and I give you another 10 dollars? You’d like that? I bet you would.

      • lorimakesquilts

        I don’t know where you get your data from but I certainly don’t fit your generalizations. I never felt spanking was deserved or that it fit the misdeed. I can’t stand to be around my father or even look at him because of those few, undeserved beatings he gave me. (among other reasons.)

        All a child learns from spanking is that violence is an appropriate way to deal with wrong-doing. It perpetuates violence and doesn’t work. Your children might learn to behave in front of you but they will also learn to beat those, who are weaker or more vulnerable, who don’t do what they want.

      • Sandra

        Wow. Your use of capital letters was very convincing. I think I’ll start beating my kid.

  • Tommy

    I remember being spanked as a kid, amongst other things…

    All it taught is that "pain erases sin" (the fact that I was strongly religious didn't help).

    I was compelled to tell them everything when I misbehaved because I would have a strong sense of guilt haunting me if I didn't.

    But it didn't took long for me to do the math…if pain erases sin…all I needed to do was to GIVE MYSELF PAIN so that MY PARENTS WOULDN'T because I would not need to tell them, since I already cleansed my "sins" with pain.

    Now here I am, almost 20 years later, dealing with self-injury issues, and I just can't bring myself to stop.
    Oh, and I also am very emotionally detached from my parents. I really can't say that I love them, and the mere thought of being touched by them almost disgusts me. I don't trust them. I can't trust them.

    There are so many ways other than hurting your kids to teach them a lesson. Hitting a kid is often only done out of anger or lazyness. Yes, lazyness, because it takes more effort to come out with a valid punishment that does not involve causing pain. If you're too lazy to do that, I'm sorry but you shouldn't be a parent in the first place.

    Of course, not every child who was spanked will end up with issues like mine. But what if they do? And what if they develop even worse ones? Is this a risk you're willing to take?

    • itzuknow

      my hubby and i believe in spanking as last resort. we have two children a boy & girl , 12 & 6. when they misbehave the general approach is to #1. find out why they misbehaved …. what where they thinking & what led them to make that choice /actions etc… we then explain to them why their choice to misbehave was wrong/ how they could have handled it better… and how we expect better results next time they get off with a warning.
      if they repeat the behavior then we try #2. restrictions. ( we repeat number 1) and then we take
      aways toys / privilages tv etc….. for a limited time…. or until behavior improves. if the behavior was repeated a 3rd time i repeat #1 followed by a spanking. IT ALSO DEPENDS ON THE CHILD.
      my daughter is very sensitive/timid shy. ive only popped her once on her bottom but since then all i have to do is use a certain tone or give her a "look" and she gives me no more problems. i dont have to spank her…. my son IS A LOT MORE "COCKY & STUBBORN so he use to got spankings ages 6-10 (six spankings total) HE IS GOOD NOW!

  • Melody

    Andrea, I'm not claiming that hitting children is unique to our community, nor did I say it was inhumane. I was merely pointing out the fact that the artilcle posted on this website, which is aimed at African Americans, has no merit. The "facts" that it stated did not lean toward any good reason to spank our kids.
    Kudo's to you for being able to spank your child and only see the positive in it, however, so many parents don't just spank their child to teach them a lesson, to many times it becomes away for a parent to take out their own frustrations and then so many of them hide behind "well the bible says…" There are way to many physical, emotional and psychological problems that come hand in hand with spanking a child and I won't subject my child to that. Thats all I was trying to say.
    By the way, the bible does say "spare the rod, spoil child" and that was ok back then. These days, it just is not! We know to much now about the effects to just pretend that it will be ok.

  • Kai

    Yes, disciplining a child does not (and should not) involve spanking or beating them. You say spanking should be done in a controlled manner but do you really think that is true? Who can seriously say that when their parents beat them, it was done in a "controlled manner"?

    • itzuknow

      not all kids need to be spanked but there are some kids that dont respond to talk , time out or restrictions no matter how sweet and nice you are to them. some kids have no fear /respect towards their parents…and spanking a child can sometimes save their life.

      the bible says….."foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but a rod will drive it far from them"…. swatting a kid on his/her butts…with a belt or paddle when all else fails will drive the message home.

      • TealRose

        Nope .. it will make them even more rebellious and quite rightly so! I call it 'self defence' .. from a brutal and senseless form of punishment, that should have been banned in Adam's day !

        • Jerome Truitt

          Nope. Plenty of evidence shoes it works.

    • I tell you what, anyone hits their child in front of me I’ll knock their teeth in.

      • Aaron Ice Aw

        Did you know that in the bible it says “If you don’t discipline your children you don’t love them” I didn’t say it God did ……
        What is this country today ? Or perhaps the world ? If you look at statistics of the children that don’t get punished, they are smart mouth punk kids that have no responsibility or respect for their elders. If people would stop thinking like tree hugging liberals and read the WORD OF GOD, the very same word that our country was founded on they would realize that even thousands of years ago God even said “spare the rod spoil the child”. These days if you spank your own child, especially in public you are committing child abuse. I’m not saying that you need to hit them with a rod, but don’t you people understand that all these psychologists that suggest that spanking is wrong, where do they get there information. They obtained a degree from a man made book, by men and for men . If you look at the United States these days we are more broke than any other country in the world. We also have the most sin than any other country. Do you know why it worked even a hundred years ago? Because people actually obeyed God and his commandments. We have now turned our back on him and look were we are. Who knows better man or God ? You decide

        • Don Nacho

          This is absolutely irrelevant. Not all of us are Christians. I am sure you would say that such a Godless way of living is apart of society’s problems. However, the Bushmen people of the Kalahari desert live in a polytheistic egalitarian society, and are the most ancient and peaceful groups of people in the world, their easygoing ways have stood for millennia, and they have a far more respectable society than the western world has shown in any common era. People spend their time composing music and dancing and taking part in great sports, and children are treated gently. Women are revered in status. There is no war or greed or prejudice. Everyone shares with one another, and dines together like brothers and sisters. People give presents to each other on a daily basis to show that they love each other and don’t have a money-based economy or even a notion of trading for equivalent value. Everyone works hard also and has the strength to stand against the most brutal of environments. I tell you this to say it is not necessary to follow the bible as you suggest to have a wonderful and loving life on earth. Even for those of us who are Christian remember that the bible has direct contradictions in its own text and revisions. Furthermore Jesus didn’t say “spare the rod spoil the child” (that particular line isn’t even in the bible, it is from a line of Samuel Butler POETRY it is not a christian text.) He instead spoke of throwing out many traditional ways of doing things and said this, “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” – John 13:34 Christ was a pacifist, you cannot compare that love with inflicting a physical hurt. Jesus said this as well, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, for fear
          has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in
          love.” – John 4:18

      • moson moms

        Look out everyone, we got a badass over here. But seriously, it seems like you were abused as a child. Is that why you react so aggressively to this topic?

  • heartreak

    Wose heart didn't break looking at the picture of the child holding their hand out to receive beatings with the ruler

  • April

    Unbelievable. Some children ‘need’ to have pain inflicted upon them.

    Children do need discipline but that does not mean that need to be struck by people who are supposed to love and care for them.

    You may not like call such violence ‘abuse’ but changing the name doesn’t change what it is.

  • Melody you are correct and most licensed professionals will agree with you. Study after study has proven that spanking causes a vicious cycle of learned VIOLENCE. If you ever wonder why kids are violent it can justifiably be linked to violence in their lives. Spanking hurts the child physically and emotionally. There is no way that a child is not negatively impacted by violence. No way period.

    • Aaron Ice Aw

      ader CommentsBack to article
      Did you know that in the bible it says “If you don’t discipline your children you don’t love them” I didn’t say it God did ……AARON of OK 12:19PM January 20, 2012[report comment]
      What is this country today ? Or perhaps the world ? If you look at statistics of the children that don’t get punished, they are smart mouth punk kids that have no responsibility or respect for their elders. If people would stop thinking like tree hugging liberals and read the WORD OF GOD, the very same word that our country was founded on they would realize that even thousands of years ago God even said “spare the rod spoil the child”. These days if you spank your own child, especially in public you are committing child abuse. I’m not saying that you need to hit them with a rod, but don’t you people understand that all these psychologists that suggest that spanking is wrong, where do they get there information. They obtained a degree from a man made book, by men and for men . If you look at the United States these days we are more broke than any other country in the world. We also have the most sin than any other country. Do you know why it worked even a hundred years ago? Because people actually obeyed God and his commandments. We have now turned our back on him and look were we are. Who knows better man or God ? You decideAARON WILLIAMS of OK 12:11PM January 20, 2012[report comment]

      • Jon zamon

        So the secret behind repairing the U S economy is “discipline physically” and that would improve foreign relations and pacify terrorism, and it would make everyone organizational geniuses in business, and it would even help us deal with extreme weather conditions: shield against hurricanes, predict floods or droughts, and everybody and everything would all come together in harmony. Fantastic.
        And about the ‘word of god”: like you said, psychologists obtained their knowledge from a “man made book”, the bible therefore is not a “man made book”? It was composed and continues to be printed by the actual deity “god” in heaven and delivered by one of his messenger angels? Really?

      • Angela

        The bible never once condones spanking children. It does state that if you beat them with a lethal weapon, they will not die from it. This is obviously fallacious. It was not written in English and the word for beat in Hebrew also means to embrace. In other words, embrace the metaphorical rod of correction for they will not die from it. “I’m taking away your cell phone for a week. Don’t give me that look, you won’t DIE from it” makes much more sense than an action lethal against a grown man would not kill a child.

        And who is to say that these scriptures are native to Christianity? The story of Noah’s ark appears in Greek history predating biblical scriptures by hundreds of years. The holy grail is pagan. As is Easter. Early missionaries rewrote the man made book you reference and included passages and anecdotes to gain the approval of other cultures and religions so the conversion would be easier on them.

        As it stands, this is not the theocracy you believe it to be where one religion defines our laws. Otherwise, polygamy, stoning gay men, and killing drunks to deliver them to heaven would be socially and legally codoned practices, alongside beating children with weapons, and none of them are.

        • Greg

          Hi Angela,

          I wanted to say that you have posted a great comment. However, I disagree with your statement, “The bible never once condones spanking children”. In the Torah and the bible, the Hebrew scripture Proverbs 13:24 states The one holding back the rod is hating his son… It is okay to spank your child when necessary as long as it is not excessive as stated in Col. 3:21. If parents need to spank their children, let them do it when they are heated. Just you have said we want to embrace our children, in which I agree. In Matthew 24, Jesus had prophesy about our time especially when children are disobedient to parents and/or authority figures. The author is not condoning violence against children as most make the mistake of thinking. Yet, the author is only stating that children need discipline.

          • Angela

            1: The Bible predates spanking by thousands of years, thus, can not be referencing it.

            2: The rod you mention is the shepherd’s staff used to guide the sheep, not to hit them. Hebrew was rife with metaphors and a rod used to hit does not comfort anyone.

            3: Col.3.21 is completely backwards. That’s not even in the Bible! Are you just taking scriptures and adding the word spanking so it helps with your argument?

            4: Children have always been construed as disrespectful. We have unearthed tablets of ancient Sumeria depicting them this way. Aristotle, Socrates and Plato are all famously quoted for believing the same. When you are 6 years old, you have a wide variety of memories just prior to your 6th birthday. Mundane activities such as your tantrums, not eating your dinner, rude vocalizations, et cetera. When you are 36 you can remember very few if any of them. This is because as we age, we lack both memory and perspective.

            5: The author is not condoning violence? They are giving you 8 justifications for such against children. No amount of domestic or institutional violence/assaults will ever better another human being. Especially not children.

      • dragongirl

        God also said, “If thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.” (Proverbs 23:13). It seems Hana Williams’s adoptive parents proved God wrong about this. Perhaps he was wrong about beating being an expression of love as well?

      • Destinee Owen

        Aaron, those psychologists that you say aren’t getting correct information have done highly in depth studies of children since over 30 years ago, and throughout their lives, up until this very day. So 30 year olds today are still being studied about the effects of spanking and multiple other factors in their lives since they were children. Spanking has been scientifically and statistically proven to be the lesser effective method of discipline, and the method of discipline that will most likely cause more problems in children. This article does not cite and scientific evidence that spanking is the better discipline. It is simply someone’s opinion, just like all of the comments that have been posted. Look up a few articles with real studies and scientific evidence.

        • Jerome Truitt

          Nope most of those studies actually aren’t spanning the lives of the children and even the few that MAY be (I haven’t heard of any) are likely extremely flawed. It’s virtually impossible to maintain the controls necessary while keeping track of all possible factors that may influence the study over that long a period of time. In 30 years even 10 years alot can happen to a person that may have nothing to do with the spanking they received as kids. Kids who get spanked become criminals and have anxiety, or become drug users same as kids who were never spanked a day in their lives. While alternatively kids who were spanked grow up to become successful productive members of society the same as children who weren’t.

    • Jerome Truitt

      Said studies are hardly conclusive. It’s actually quite difficult to set up a spanking study that actually shows real evidence of their claims. Too many factors, too much required time and too few controls. Most of those so called studies employ supposition and conjecture and use that as evidence. I.E. asking 100 ex convicts if they were spanked as children and then using that to determine that spanking leads to violent behavior and criminality. If you actually read the method behind many of these “studies” you will find alot of this nonsense.

    • Dreviathan

      There are times when kids should be violent. And times when adults should be violent as well. They are few and far between and most certainly a last resort, but the last thing I want to do is teach my child that violence is never an option in any circumstance and to fear it.

  • Andrea

    i totally disagree Melody. all different nationalities, religions, and classes of people "hit" their kids. i think trying all different discipline techniques on each and every child is worth doing for the child's sake. spanking is not inhumane if it's done with the best of intentions. the bible speaks there is a time and a place for everything (tough love, war, execution are all included). if you spank your child and see that it HELPS that child and you do it out of love go for it. i have spanked my 4 year old before, but she is such the meek child that i don't think i will ever have to again. i can just raise my voice and get her right. me, i needed a spanking PERIOD, but not every time i did something and NEVER while hostile.

    • TealRose

      No one but NO one 'needs' to be hit. Especially a child… and even more so a meek one! Hitting a child is just as wrong if not MORE so than hitting another adult. There is nothing loving about being hit. [As an abused spouse] The word spank/hit doesn't even belong in the same sentence as love! There is nothing respectful about hitting.

      The OT also mentions stoning one's son to death in the square … I presume you will be following that too then ?? Or perhaps as Jesus came and told us about the New Covenant… and NEVER mentioned hitting children, in fact warned us about hurting them [ remember that millstone around the neck ???] and he also told us to be gentle, and treat others as we would want to be treated. Apart from a few people who are masochists no one 'wants' to be hit …

      • Feminism1999

          “Hitting a child is just as wrong if not MORE so than hitting another adult.”


        • Jesse Bernal

          Says the feminist. LOL. I am so glad I was spanked.

          • Neal Wright

            Me too Jesse! I was spanked, not “hit”. There is a big difference and it’s obvious.

      • Jerome Truitt

        Tell that to the police. Maybe if people were spanked properly as children they wouldn’t need it as adults with the police. Gotta love that Great American Hypocrisy!

        • Emma

          “You hit your sister. Now to show you that is wrong, I’m going to hit you.” Speaking of Hypocrisy.

          • Jerome Truitt

            It’s called consequence not hypocrisy. Keep your hands to yourself you don’t get hit. Put your hands on someone expect to get hit back. Cause and effect.

            • Emma

              A young child is not capable of that logic. That is not a logical argument either. “Put your hands on someone expect to get hit back.” That justifies the parents getting hit when they hit the kid. You cannot deny that. It’s cause and effect.

      • Dreviathan

        The bible doesn’t need to come into this at all. Look to nature then. Animals discipline their children with a nip or a swat all the time. Kid’s brains aren’t always developed enough to have a sit down and discuss for an hour to win them over. Also, sometimes you need immediate compliance, not a twenty minute discussion. Finally, My dad used to spank me when I was a kid (not always as a first resort) and as such I knew when he told me to do something, I would do it. I didn’t need time outs bc I listened. When he was out of town working, my mom didn’t spank. She gave time outs (or tried but I didn’t listen), talkings to and grounding. But it didn’t matter because I knew I could ignore the time out, ignore the grounding and ignore her talkings to because she would never spank me.

    • The Bible is full of all sorts of iron age barbarism. Let’s burn witches, too. What a tool.

      • Jesse Bernal

        Since you are a Bible expert? LOL.

      • Neal Wright

        Yeah, Ricky, want to tell me where that verse is?

        • Daniel Ballow

          Exodus 22:18

          • T Real

            the Greek and/or Aramaic word used that was translated in the King James Version as “Witch.” Then let us translate it fully. You will find it means “a poisoner of wells.”

            In old times magic was not referred to as the western word its associated with today like flying carpets and potions. To know magic is to use words as power to manipulate the people. Knowledge is power.

    • Amber

      of course, use religion as an excuse to hit your kid

  • monica


    • itsuknow

      your against spanking because your parents went OVERBOARD…most people who are against spanking are against it because they were abusivily spanked. but there is a loving way to spank a child…… and spanking is good for certain "hard-headed" (defiant) children who dont respon well to time out, toys taken, talking etc….
      its very important to know your child and use spanking as a LAST RESORT. i also dont think children dont need to be spanked if they did wrong because of thier confusion or lack of understanding. spanking is a last resort not a solution.

      • Assault is assault is assault, you primate. If you hit someone who isn’t trying to hit you you’re a punk, and deserve to get smacked around a little until you learn what happens to punks.

        • Alontorressr

          I bet u have no kids

          • Elroy Coltof

            Or worse, he has kids like those you meet every time you go shopping. Kicking other shoppers, making a mess and not listening to a thing the parents are saying.

            And it’s getting worse by the year. When are people going to wake up to the fact that time-outs, talking and taking away toys doesn’t work for every kid out there.

        • Punk Hater

          Ricky you nothing more than a Punk yourself little boy. You need to be smacked around, you moron. Sounds like you know all about what being a punk is. Did you even read what you wrote. You sound like a real idiot.I bet now you wanna smack me around huh Ricky?

        • Neal Wright

          Am I the only one that sees a contradiction here? Ricky, you are advocating violent physical punishment to correct someone who spanks their children. Trust me, there are children that even if they aren’t trying to hit you are doing much worse than hitting and need a spanking.

        • Emma

          Assault is assault. It would be illegal for an individual’s boss, a person in authority over the individual. Yet what should the boss do if the individual is disobeying the rules. “It also teaches them to submit to authority regardless of whether or not they agree.” The employee no matter what should obey the boss. They tell you to do something that goes against your morals or beliefs, it does not matter. They are authority.
          Hitting is a form of violence. “You see strength not weakness” Therefore spanking is teaching violence as a solution.
          “You want them to be accountable” If a child or adult fears a punishment and only the punishment they will not own up to their mistakes that went unnoticed. “they need to know consequences hurt” If a child is taught empathy and respect without fearing pain and being hit, they will be more likely to right a wrong and admit if they are doing it because they feel believe it is the right thing to do.
          “It works best” There are so many other forms of behavior modification that are better than spanking. They work more effectively at changing behavior and at not creating resentment. Whether or not people say that spanking does not build resentment or hurt the child’s feelings. It is a form of humiliation and causes powerlessness. Any human in a situation where they are completely defenseless and have the potential to be hit/hurt is not going to grow, but part of them is going to be destroyed.
          I work in retail. I have seen a kid come in who seemed really happy. He was in kindergarten or around there. He was messing with some stuff and knocked it over. The mom started yelling at him. (She told me before she wished she could hit her kid in public.) It was an accident on the kids part. Don’t ruin that happiness by replacing it with fear. Tell the kid what to do to fix the problem and tell them how to be more careful next time. There are so many studies that have been done showing spanking is harmful and showing other more effective forms of discipline. There have been other countries that outlawed corporal punishment and have had good results. Their population did not become terrible and disrespectful. The opposite happened.

      • HughMungus

        That’s like saying, “a husband should lovingly hit his wife,” or “there’s a loving way to torture children.” That’s exactly what it is…torture. But, as a sociopathic society we use the politically correct term “spanking.”

        • Neal Wright

          Hugh, did you ever need to resort to spanking your children? Many parents do need to. It’s not the first tool in correction but it’s needed often. I know children that never really need a spanking and I know some that would improve immediately if they had this consequence.
          You calling it violence and torture is very misleading.

      • DrPhilGood

        itsuknow, brilliant post. however, I want to propose a theory that this method -may- result in a child’s failure to stand up to bad authority or failure to be a strong self-advocate in the future. I’d love to see anybody’s thoughts or experience with this. there is also the argument that this teaches children that force is an acceptable way to get what they want as long as they’re the stronger in a conflict of interest.

        • Dreviathan

          I see where you’re coming from but think of it this way. The police show up to deal with something your child did as an adult. They don’t believe they’ve done something wrong and are unwilling to go to jail. Because they have never been taught to submit to authority they fail to submit to arrest because they think they shouldn’t be arrested, and as such end up getting hurt. Whereas if you teach them to submit to authority they get arrested and don’t get hurt and can have heir day in court at a later time.