Would You Date Your Friend’s Ex-Lover?

January 22, 2014  |  

An average Saturday night rolls around and you happen to bump into the man or woman of your dreams. He/she fits the list and has it all checked off twice. You bring him around to your friends in hopes that they give the stamp of approval only to find out the world is getting smaller because they’ve slept with one of your friends before.


The circumstances will always be different for each case, but could you have a relationship with someone your friend slept with?

Some would immediately drop the new boo. Perhaps you consider everyone your friends had relations with to be off limits for life. This is understandable because you can never really know the true nature of someone’s past relationship and what if old feelings pop up and your new boo and friend decide to rekindle? You’ll be standing there looking like a fool. Some would proceed with caution because of pride. Can you really stand to be in the same room with someone that’s seen the new boo naked?

But with the world and dating pool getting more connected there is bound to be overlap, especially if you are in a smaller town or have a vast network of friends.

You may truly feel connected to the new boo and not want to just brush him/her to the side so quickly. This is where being an adult and communicating is key. You’ll need to have a conversation with your boo and your friend to find out the real nature of their relationship. Was it just sex? How long ago? Do they feel awkward being in the same room? Did it end poorly?

Proceed with caution depending on the answers. For example, if their sexual-relationship ended pretty badly, they may find it awkward to be in the same room and now you are constantly choosing between hanging with your friends and your love. However, if it was a hit-it-and-quit-it mutual agreement and there’s no bad blood, you may be able to make this work. It really comes down to what you are going to be comfortable with long term. Your friend and the boo may have had great (or not so great) sex once upon a time but do you want to let that stop you from finding real love too?

In this particular situation, you’ll also need to examine your friendship. Is this a friend you never want to lose? Or is this just someone that’s cool to hang out with? You could potentially lose a friend if he/she isn’t cool with you dating their old fling so you’ll have to decide which relationship is really worth saving.

Many of us have lived long enough to have a fling or two so there’s bound to be someone out there that you enjoyed sexually but it was nothing more. It’s bound to happen that you will be on the other side of that and meet one of your friend’s ex-flings. You’ve got to consider if someone’s sexual conquest matters more than finding love for you. Or, if for whatever reason, that automatically counts that person out of your dating pool. There are more fish in the sea, right? Maybe.

What do you think? Could you date your friend’s ex-lover or fling? What factors would you consider? COMMENT BELOW!

Dee Rene is the author and creator of Laugh.Cry.Cuss. http://laughcrycuss.com @laughcrycuss @deerene_

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