10 Easy To Miss Signs He’ll Never Commit

January 23, 2014  |  
signs he'll never commit

There are the obvious signs you’re being strung along, like he’s dating somebody else, he only calls you to hang out at 2 am and he’s never introduced you to any of his friends. But some signs that a man will never commit aren’t so obvious—in fact, women will make excuses, saying the behavior is normal.

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He NEVER gets jealous

If you get drunk and pass out in your male friend’s bed, your boyfriend doesn’t bat an eyelash. If you sit on another guy’s lap at a party, your guy doesn’t care. If you’re at the office late alone, working on a project with a cute male coworker, your guy doesn’t complain one bit.

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Why you ignore it

Of course you ignore it! It’s awesome to have a boyfriend who is so NOT controlling. But the truth is, if a guy is in love with you, he doesn’t want you sitting on other guys’ laps. But if he has no plans to commit, he isn’t going to start a fuss over it because that sends you the impression he cares more than he does.

 

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He is rigid about his schedule

If he said he was going to come over, but his meeting got out just an hour later than he’d expected, he says he wants to go home instead because it’s getting late and he needs his sleep. If you’re in his neighborhood by chance and ask to stop by, he says he was about to go to the gym and doesn’t want to miss a workout.

 

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Why you ignore it

You want to be “understanding” and “chill” and hey, you get it: sleep is important and exercise is important! But come on! If a guy plans on making you a real part of his life, he understands he has to make little sacrifices and changes sometimes.

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He doesn’t invite you, when other girlfriends went

He goes to a friend’s birthday party and doesn’t invite you. You find out later other girlfriends were there.

 

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Why you ignore it

You get it: sometimes he just wants time with his friends without you. You don’t want to be clingy–he doesn’t have to invite you everywhere. But hold up: if other girlfriends were there, he should have invited you. If he planned on keeping you around, he’d realize it was embarrassing for you to clearly not be invited when plus ones were welcome.

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He has a lot of activities he keeps to himself

He’s never taken you to one of his basketball games, or to his chess group, or to the Sunday brunch meet-up group he’s a part of. There are a lot of regular activities he does that you’re never included in.

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Why you ignore it

You tell yourself that it’s healthy to have activities all to yourself—it helps a person maintain their individual identity inside of a relationship. But, a guy can still share his hobbies with you a little bit without losing his identity. If he absolutely refuses to share them with you, it could be because he doesn’t plan on being with you forever, and doesn’t want you infiltrating those areas of his life.

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He won’t fight with you

You could be screaming at him, insulting him or bawling your eyes out and he remains quiet, or just agrees with everything you say, or leaves saying, “Let me know when you’ve calmed down.”

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Why you ignore it

You say maybe he just doesn’t want to fight because he feels it drives you two apart. But, a guy who plans on being with you for the long haul cares a lot about what you think about him, and how he makes you feel! He would never let you criticize him without defending himself, and he would never watch you cry without wanting to fix it. Meanwhile, a guy who doesn’t plan on sticking around won’t exert any energy into fighting.

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He won’t accept help from your family

Your parents have offered to introduce your boyfriend to their broker, their real estate agent, professional contacts they think would be great for him or a friend who has a vacation house he could stay in. But he always turns them down.

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Why you ignore it

You tell yourself he is just very independent and is uncomfortable accepting help. You tell yourself he doesn’t want to be a bother to your parents. In reality, he probably feels guilty having people go out of their way for him, when he knows pretty soon those people won’t even be in his life.

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He tells you he’s made big decisions; he doesn’t ask you

He tells you he’s going to travel around the world for three months, or that he’s quit his job, or that he is moving apartments next week. He doesn’t ask for your input.

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Why you ignore it

You want to be the “cool” girlfriend so you just tell yourself, “I’m not his boss! He’s a grown man! Good for him that he’s traveling for three months…! He can go find himself and learn new things…!” Oh please. Because you won’t admit it to yourself I’ll say it for you: a man should want to bring you on that trip for three months or at the very, very least, want to discuss it with you to make sure he wouldn’t be missing any big events in your life, or to give you the option to say, “I’ll miss you so much! Can’t you just make it two months?” And he should want your opinion on the apartment he’s moving into if he plans on you spending tons of time there! It’s not too much for you to ask to be included in these decisions.

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He wanders off at social events

When you go to parties or events together, you find yourself alone for most of the time. He’ll pass by you with a drink and plate of food, but he never offered to get you one. He’ll wave at you from a circle of people, but won’t wave you over.

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Why you ignore it

You say to yourself, “It’s good we’re not one of those couples attached at the hip! I’m happy we’re not one of those annoying couples who is afraid to socialize without the other one.” Okay, yeah…but even the “cool” couples check in with one another. Even in the “independent” couples the guy never goes to the bar without offering to get his girlfriend something. But, if in your guy’s head he is unattached (or soon to be), he’s curious about meeting tons of people without you at parties.

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He’s pushy about sex

He won’t accept it when you say you’re tired or just not in the mood. He acts like an indignant college boy, continuing to bother you while you try to sleep, and even getting noticeably annoyed that you won’t have sex with him.

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Why you ignore it

You say, “Oh, he’s just a guy! They’re animals! They’re all like that!” UM…that’s not just being an “animal.” That’s almost sexual molestation. You should be able to sleep in peace. A guy who plans on being with you for a long time can let a few nights without sex go by because he knows there will be plenty of time for that in the future. But a guy who sees an expiration date on this relationship wants to get in all the free play he can, before he’s out hunting at bars again.

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He has excuses not to do you favors

Any time you’ve asked him for a ride to the airport, or to stop by your house and feed your dog because your meeting was running late, or to pick up your prescription because the pharmacy was about to close and you were stuck in traffic, he had an excuse not to.

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Why you ignore it

You tell yourself, “I’m a grown woman. I should do those things myself. I shouldn’t be depending on a man anyways.” Accepting help does not mean you’re depending on somebody! And if you think of it, there have probably been dozens of times he’s asked you to do him a favor, and you’ve done it even though you had better reasons not to, than the reasons he’s giving you. When you care about someone, you don’t find excuses: you find a way.

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  • ;^}

    I had 2 paragraphs typed on now wrong 95% of this article is. But that was just for the first 2 ‘reasons’. The person that the author of this article wrote is with somebody that has low confidence, and is almost guaranteed to be guilt tripped into anything that she wants done.

    This may sound as though, I’m judging her based on nothing, but the absurdity of this article has enough proof for it to be able to b used as court evidence.

    Ladies, I’m a guy, but please listen to me from a guy’s perspective, instead of an author that has biased, clouded misconceptions of real relationships.

    This article will destroy any relationship you are in, because it is filling your head with paranoia and GUARANTEED signs that he’ll or cheat on you.
    If you listen to this article, or are even concerned about commitment issues, then I swear on the grave of my grandfather that your relationship has already reached the point beyond repair, or that you will never be happy in a relationship.

    To put things simply, this article is basically yelling you that you shouldn’t trust your partner. It breeds paranoia and distrust, and because I was paranoid, jealous, and distrustful, I ultimately pushed away every one of my previous partners, until I realized that the root of the problem is trust.

    If you don’t feel complete trust with your partner, then end things, because your relationship is not, and will not EVER be real, as long as you can’t trust each other. An example from the article is the part with how he doesn’t get jealous. That means that he knows that no matter what, you’re still his. It means that he’s confident enough, and trusts you enough to not worry about you cheating. You provoking him by sitting on other guys’ laps is unacceptable, and if you do this to somebody you’re supposed to trust and care for, then I truly hope that he finds somebody else that wouldn’t put their selfish paranoias before their relationship.

    Trust is key, and with my current, sort-of, complicated partner, we’re both basically reserved for each other, but are currently just spending all our time hanging out, and building more trust for each other. If you jump into a relationship before you know that you can trust the other person, then you’ve doomed the relationship, and should either take things slow before committing t anything, or just not be in any relationship at all. If you don’t, then it means that you’re desperate, and that’s just one more nail on the coffin of relationships.

    I may have repeated myself as few times (typing this on iPad) and I know some parts sounded harsh, but please, please, believe what I’m saying. If you don’t, then I hope that somehow things will work out, but please remember everything I’ve said here so that things won’t prevent you from being happy.

    Also, it’s okay to be jealous or have worrying thoughts to some degree, but wit the girl that I’m ‘with’, we will talk to each other about anything, and every time there has been worry, or even a bit of an argument, we both talk calmly and genuinely listen to what the other says. Every time we’ve gone through that, our relationship grew exponentially stronger, as we built more trust, worked things out, learned more about each other, and most importantly, gave us the confidence that we can work through things together.

  • After reading some of these I find your way off the mark. why is it you think every relationship you get into is about commitment. It might be for the moment , it goes both ways to you know . Myself I tell the female straight up I’m not here to find a wife or a life partner. mainly because what’s going on right now is the moment ,Neither her I have any idea of what we are going to be feeling about each other next week, next month, next year, Two years in seems to be a good indicator if we should consider start getting real with it. . that might seem like a life time to some but at least you have a good idea of what your geting into.

  • Pingback: 13 Women With the Perfect Responses to Why They’re Single | Whisperings()

  • The Absolute Truth

    It is really the other way around, and most women that are single can’t Commit to only one man since many of them like dating different men all the time.

  • jim

    Mmmm, well after reading the first one about being jealous, I think most secure guys would not think that’s classy girlfriend material if they are going to sit on some guys lap or pass out drunk on a guy friends bed or so on. Seriously people who try to make there possible partner jealous are normally mostly single and never in a long term healthy relationship, .If a guy did that to you would you consider him relationship material?

  • ODWms

    They forgot #21: when he comes straight out and says he’s not looking for a serious relationship. It is amazing how many women seem to “miss” this one.

    • momsaysweremovingtoboston

      Lol

  • Phoenix

    3 signs in this article are like me and committed like hell in a relationship.

    1) Arguing when you are in a bad mood (for both) doesn’t since you’re so piss off that if one of you is right, it will be ignored, so cool down and discuss later can help.

    2) I rather not invite my girlfriend to an activity with my friends only if they are ok with it, if it was me, I would invite her (and it’s hard for me to not invite), but it’s not my call. If they say no, but invite their girlfriend, it will piss me off like no tomorrow

    3) Sex, more like make love. Anyhow, I have a high sex drive, I need someone with one. It’s not a reason of self-control or anything, a “Aw, he can wait”, no he can’t. That’s the way God made me, I can’t do anything about it. I’m not pushy when I want it, but I will discuss it later.

    That’s another thing, although, I’m always cards on table, so no secret. That’s a sign of commitment. So be careful with some of these signs, this a guide not a recipe of relationship success.

  • lilrockdiva

    Having a baby with a man you are not married to is the one way to guarantee you will never be married to him.

  • sarah

    This list is exactly right & I learnt the hard way! Been out with a few guys like this in the past & they really are complete arseholes who would never commit to me or any girl. Anyone criticising it is probably in denial with a man who’s a commitment phobe or is a commitment phobe man themselves!

    • slbolfing

      I sympathize with your poor track record, and am sorry you have had such bad experience. But, the list is very flawed and one–sided. Any successful relationship takes concerted effort from both parties. And there will always be times when either one or the other (or both) may exhibit some of these “signs,” and the meaning is completely different than a commitment issue.
      Don’t give up – good people are out there. The easiest way is to do what you enjoy doing – then you are associating with people with whom you already have similar interests; don’t try to meet someone, let it happen!

  • kiki j

    Typically you can ask a man what they are looking for and they’ll tell you. It’s because women don’t LISTEN to the answer is why this happens. So many times women want more and the man told them from the beginning they were only looking for a friend .ie they wanna smash buddy but the woman always think they can change their minds…nope you can’t. They knew what they wanted and you didn’t accept it, You don’t need to look for signs when they told you from the beginning what they wanted.

  • honoriaglossop

    “He refuses to fight with you.”
    Uh… no. Refusing to engage with someone who is throwing a tantrum is healthy and grown-up behavior. The behaviors of screaming at someone, insulting them and crying your eyes out to manipulate a response is emotionally abusive. I would advise anyone to disengage.

  • slbolfing

    way out of line on the “won’t fight with you” one. Maybe he is just more mature than you!

  • JustMyOpinion

    I think the sex thing is a no starter, should be thrown out. My wife and I were married 43 years – it was the only thing we fought over. Sexual appetite is just like food appetite, everyone’s is different. Sometimes she ate when she wasn’t hungry, sometimes I went to bed with my stomach growling, that is life in a relationship. A good woman can straight up jerk the knot out of a good man. But not all men are good men. Ladies, you just have to learn the difference – and it is usually not based on looks.

  • IgnanzIzBlizz

    Because he won’t argue?! Are you for real? He has an excuse to pick up your stuff?! Maybe he has a late meeting or is stuck in traffic too. And he won’t leave you alone because you won’t give him any?! If he leaves you alone, then you have a problem.

  • Mztisa

    Wayment…how did MN take a list of 7 and spread the content over 15 pages GTFOH!!! SMH Somebody give me a recap lol!

    • Ms. Kameria

      Yes they did. They always do foolishness like this, but I think I figured out the trick to it. Click on every other slide. Usually the next slide is a long, drawn out explanation of the facts, signs, etc. For example, click on slide 2 for fact #1, click on side 4 for fact # 2, and so on…..I don’t click on all of the slides, because I don’t need the drawn out explanation of something that could easily be listed.

      • Mztisa

        Lol thanks! They are always doing the ABSOLUTE MOST!

    • kiki j

      Lol after the third “this is why” i stopped clicking lol

  • Rebbekah

    These are all true, great compilation. I know the one very well where he won’t bring you to his other activities… if a man doesn’t bring you around his friends or to other places he hangs, you are a booty call. I had to learn the hard way.

  • Sharese Hardaway

    This guy just sounds like a butthole…hopefully women can pick up on that kind of jerky behavior and not want him to commit!

    • ODWms

      Maybe you haven’t heard. Buttholes get the most attention, and are the most in demand. Nice guys? They get passed over.

  • MiaSara

    The list is kind of weird. Why would any woman make offers and put up with those behaviors from a guy who hasn’t shown his commitment in the first place? Especially the part abt your family trying to help him. Oh well

    • Rebbekah

      One word, DESPERATION. Some women out here (including myself until I learned) are thirsty for male attention. And there’s nothing wrong with that! We’re supposed to desire attention, but most of us grow up in homes where our fathers are absent or may be there physically, but EMOTIONALLY absent, so we seek it from men in the world. We put up with these behaviors because we want that attention more than we want to be treated right. I know this was true for me.

      • kiki j

        Very true and very well said. Most women don’t need signs because they don’t care. I’ve heard women say “I want you to make me feel like you love me even if it’s a lie” . It’s the attention that is craved and it becomed addictive especially if you have “daddy issues.” That’s why I don’t judge some of these ridiculous reality stars. Look into it and you’ll find out they are trying to fill some childhood void, usually daddy.

  • Auntieruckus

    This girl i know has been dating a guy on and iff for about 2 years now. He never introduced her to anyone,he has left her in her car while having lunch with his boys several times,he yelled at her one day and scared her so much she had to call for help,he forbids her to hang out with her friends unless they’re ratchet and has been “about to propose” for a minute bow,yet she picked out her wedding colors and everything,leaving her child with relatives running the streets like she is 21 when she is knocking on 30, i say all this to say,some women will never get happiness because their notion of happiness is to have someone,anyone. I ran far away from her and never came back,i heard she is still doing it…