10 Easy To Miss Signs He’ll Never Commit

January 23, 2014  |  
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There are the obvious signs you’re being strung along, like he’s dating somebody else, he only calls you to hang out at 2 am and he’s never introduced you to any of his friends. But some signs that a man will never commit aren’t so obvious—in fact, women will make excuses, saying the behavior is normal. 

He NEVER gets jealous

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He NEVER gets jealous

If you get drunk and pass out in your male friend’s bed, your boyfriend doesn’t bat an eyelash. If you sit on another guy’s lap at a party, your guy doesn’t care. If you’re at the office late alone, working on a project with a cute male coworker, your guy doesn’t complain one bit.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

Of course you ignore it! It’s awesome to have a boyfriend who is so NOT controlling. But the truth is, if a guy is in love with you, he doesn’t want you sitting on other guys’ laps. But if he has no plans to commit, he isn’t going to start a fuss over it because that sends you the impression he cares more than he does.

He is rigid about his schedule

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He is rigid about his schedule

If he said he was going to come over, but his meeting got out just an hour later than he’d expected, he says he wants to go home instead because it’s getting late and he needs his sleep. If you’re in his neighborhood by chance and ask to stop by, he says he was about to go to the gym and doesn’t want to miss a workout.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You want to be “understanding” and “chill” and hey, you get it: sleep is important and exercise is important! But come on! If a guy plans on making you a real part of his life, he understands he has to make little sacrifices and changes sometimes.

He doesn't invite you, when other girlfriends went

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He doesn’t invite you, when other girlfriends went

He goes to a friend’s birthday party and doesn’t invite you. You find out later other girlfriends were there.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You get it: sometimes he just wants time with his friends without you. You don’t want to be clingy–he doesn’t have to invite you everywhere. But hold up: if other girlfriends were there, he should have invited you. If he planned on keeping you around, he’d realize it was embarrassing for you to clearly not be invited when plus ones were welcome.

He has a lot of activities he keeps to himself

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He has a lot of activities he keeps to himself

He’s never taken you to one of his basketball games, or to his chess group, or to the Sunday brunch meet-up group he’s a part of. There are a lot of regular activities he does that you’re never included in.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You tell yourself that it’s healthy to have activities all to yourself—it helps a person maintain their individual identity inside of a relationship. But, a guy can still share his hobbies with you a little bit without losing his identity. If he absolutely refuses to share them with you, it could be because he doesn’t plan on being with you forever, and doesn’t want you infiltrating those areas of his life.

He won’t fight with you

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He won’t fight with you

You could be screaming at him, insulting him or bawling your eyes out and he remains quiet, or just agrees with everything you say, or leaves saying, “Let me know when you’ve calmed down.”

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You say maybe he just doesn’t want to fight because he feels it drives you two apart. But, a guy who plans on being with you for the long haul cares a lot about what you think about him, and how he makes you feel! He would never let you criticize him without defending himself, and he would never watch you cry without wanting to fix it. Meanwhile, a guy who doesn’t plan on sticking around won’t exert any energy into fighting.

He won’t accept help from your family

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He won’t accept help from your family

Your parents have offered to introduce your boyfriend to their broker, their real estate agent, professional contacts they think would be great for him or a friend who has a vacation house he could stay in. But he always turns them down.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You tell yourself he is just very independent and is uncomfortable accepting help. You tell yourself he doesn’t want to be a bother to your parents. In reality, he probably feels guilty having people go out of their way for him, when he knows pretty soon those people won’t even be in his life.

He tells you he’s made big decisions; he doesn’t ask you

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He tells you he’s made big decisions; he doesn’t ask you

He tells you he’s going to travel around the world for three months, or that he’s quit his job, or that he is moving apartments next week. He doesn’t ask for your input.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You want to be the “cool” girlfriend so you just tell yourself, “I’m not his boss! He’s a grown man! Good for him that he’s traveling for three months…! He can go find himself and learn new things…!” Oh please. Because you won’t admit it to yourself I’ll say it for you: a man should want to bring you on that trip for three months or at the very, very least, want to discuss it with you to make sure he wouldn’t be missing any big events in your life, or to give you the option to say, “I’ll miss you so much! Can’t you just make it two months?” And he should want your opinion on the apartment he’s moving into if he plans on you spending tons of time there! It’s not too much for you to ask to be included in these decisions.

He wanders off at social events

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He wanders off at social events

When you go to parties or events together, you find yourself alone for most of the time. He’ll pass by you with a drink and plate of food, but he never offered to get you one. He’ll wave at you from a circle of people, but won’t wave you over.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You say to yourself, “It’s good we’re not one of those couples attached at the hip! I’m happy we’re not one of those annoying couples who is afraid to socialize without the other one.” Okay, yeah…but even the “cool” couples check in with one another. Even in the “independent” couples the guy never goes to the bar without offering to get his girlfriend something. But, if in your guy’s head he is unattached (or soon to be), he’s curious about meeting tons of people without you at parties.

He’s pushy about sex

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He’s pushy about sex

He won’t accept it when you say you’re tired or just not in the mood. He acts like an indignant college boy, continuing to bother you while you try to sleep, and even getting noticeably annoyed that you won’t have sex with him.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You say, “Oh, he’s just a guy! They’re animals! They’re all like that!” UM…that’s not just being an “animal.” That’s almost sexual molestation. You should be able to sleep in peace. A guy who plans on being with you for a long time can let a few nights without sex go by because he knows there will be plenty of time for that in the future. But a guy who sees an expiration date on this relationship wants to get in all the free play he can, before he’s out hunting at bars again.

He has excuses not to do you favors

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He has excuses not to do you favors

Any time you’ve asked him for a ride to the airport, or to stop by your house and feed your dog because your meeting was running late, or to pick up your prescription because the pharmacy was about to close and you were stuck in traffic, he had an excuse not to.

Why you ignore it

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Why you ignore it

You tell yourself, “I’m a grown woman. I should do those things myself. I shouldn’t be depending on a man anyways.” Accepting help does not mean you’re depending on somebody! And if you think of it, there have probably been dozens of times he’s asked you to do him a favor, and you’ve done it even though you had better reasons not to, than the reasons he’s giving you. When you care about someone, you don’t find excuses: you find a way.

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