From time to time you see a man jump out of one relationship and into another almost seamlessly, which makes people wonder if those men always had those women waiting in the wings or if they truly just found a rebound. I don’t know if men keep women waiting in the wings as much as there are a few things going on here that we’re probably not all aware of.
1. Men hate being alone and once they break up with a woman they are well aware of the women in their life who will keep them company. (Men have this reputation for wanting to be lone wolf’s or having a hard shell. In reality, they’re don’t. They’re just as, if not more, sensitive than women.) And while it seems like they had these woman on deck just in case things didn’t work out, they really just moved to the option they knew would keep them until the next great thing came along. They may already know these women; they may be have even been platonic friends all the way up until these men were single. And while many women like to hang their hat on “see I knew they would end up together,” there’s a strong possibility that it was never a plan, it just happened by chance.
2. Men categorize women into wives and wifeys – There’s actually a case that supports the claim that men keep women in the wings or on deck. It’s the rule of wifey vs. wife. This rule basically states that certain women you leave alone until you’re done with the “wifeys” in the world because you know that she is marriage material and you’re not ready for that level of commitment. In the meantime, you’ll get in a relationship with the “wifey,” have fun, no real promise of marriage, and enjoy the life. And once you’re ready to marry, you dump the wifey and marry the wife.
3. Putting all your eggs in one basket is nonsensical to men. It’s nonsensical to women too, but they seem to prefer to do that to avoid having their feelings hurt by multiple people. I’ve always stayed on the fence about whether or not men should put all their eggs in one basket and focus on one option until it’s exhausted itself or if they should diversify. But the fact is, in the embryonic stages of dating, most men will keep their options open, with the mindset that things may not work out with the first option — or any of them for that matter. However, once you enter a relationship it’s in the best interest of the man to start getting rid of those other options because they will trip you up. (Boys will be boys, so there are several guys who never rid themselves of those options and they end up tripping.)
All in all, there are some men who like to keep women on deck, but it’s a lot more complicated than it seems. I don’t think that a woman should be worried about it or even hanging her hat on the fact that the woman after her is someone who the man already knew. That’s just the nature of networks and dating. Know that almost always when there is some type of woman in the wings, it’s done from an innocent place and not a deceitful one. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter if a person is trying to deceive you while he has another option lined up because that person is deceitful anyway, and the action is superseded by the character trait. Therefore, if a man wants to diversify, let him. Do your best to show him he doesn’t need to do that. (Also think about doing it yourself.)
