Ashanti Explains Why She And Nelly Are Never, Ever, Ever, Getting Back Together

December 3, 2013  |  

So while you’ve been busy Christmas shopping (in stores and online for Cyber Monday), Ashanti hit up Hot 97 to talk about her new music and upcoming album, Braveheart. But of course, instead of asking her much about said album, the questions from Ebro Darden and Laura Styles were mostly about Nelly. Well, at least for the first seven minutes of the interview anyway. The singer gave a “final” answer on if she and Nelly will ever get back together, talked about how that relationship impacted her music (including the song “Never Should Have,” which she confirmed was about him), and how they had an amazing sex life. No, seriously, she touches on that with only the nervous Long Island-based laughter that Ashanti can (she’s so charming). Check out the tea from that sit-down, as well as her thoughts on issues with Irv Gotti, and be sure to watch the interview below.

Ebro: Are you guys getting back together again? 

Negative. Nelly and I are kind of in the space where, I’m kinda like focusing on my career, he’s focusing on what he’s doing, you know there’s a lot of things that happened this year, you know a lot of things kinda went public more than other things have gone public before, you know what I’m saying? And um, I kinda just…I have to do me. We’re in that space right now and there are things that were said and things that were done, that probably shouldn’t have been said or done, but they have been.

Ebro: On your part, his part, or both? 

Probably both. Probably both.

Ebro: Like you call him a f**king a**hole, and ‘I never want to speak to you again, get the f**k out of here you f**king punk’?

Oh, it was way worse than that! [laughs] No, I mean, like I said, you know, when people are around each other for a long time, you know, there are feelings, there are things there, and people get hurt. Men handle hurt differently than women handle hurt, you know what I’m saying? So…

Laura: How long were you guys together? TOGETHER, together? 

I mean we’ve known each other for a long time. It was a lot of time. Nine years is a long time…There’s a record that I have called “Scars,” which is really, uh, it’s a very deep record–

Ebro: Is it about your scars pertaining to Nelly?

Um, he put a couple of scars on me. Not physically, we don’t want to put that out there [laughs]. We’ve definitely scarred each other in a sense to say. Getting back to the record, it’s a deep record. It’s something that, I feel like I’m revealing very much, more than I have on previous records. So I’m really really excited. It kind of takes you on a nice emotional level.

Laura: You have a song called “Never Should Have,” and everybody wants to know if that’s about Nelly…

You know what’s weird, you know me and Nelly, you know, sometimes we were cool, sometimes we weren’t. You were together, you’re not together. You getting on my nerves right now…you go over there, I’m over here…

Ebro: It makes for the best sex by the way. Keep it real.

It does. Amazing. Amazing! But um, at that time, at that very moment when I was physically writing that record, I was in the studio in LA, and me and him were in this space of we were getting back together. We were back being cool. You know you go through that space where you don’t talk. ‘I’m not messing with him right now,’ whatever. It could be months, it could be whatever. Okay, so we were in a space where we were getting back cool. And we were actually Skyping while I was recording the record. So the record was about [laughs] when we were going through the bad times, but we were cool when I was recording it so it is weird, you know? I always get inspiration from real experiences whether I’m going through it or someone close to me is going through it. But that particular song, it was just weird because I was just writing about it because I was mad. We were going through whatever we were going through, but when I started recording it, we were okay. We were cool. We were Skyping.  So it was about him, but it wasn’t. But he picked it, he loved the record. I remember when I played it for him in the studio he was like, “Ma this is crazy!” He loved it.

Ebro: How Is You And Irv’s Relationship? 

There’s definitely no beef but, for me, again, just me talking about my movement and being brave and kind of just revealing a little bit more of myself at this point in my career, I feel like Irv kind of paints a picture of what happened with me and Murder Inc. very one-sided. I hear him a lot talk about, “She’s disloyal,” and “Oh, she didn’t throw up the Ms and she didn’t do this and that.” And I feel it’s time to kind of set the record straight on what it really is…I’m a Libra, I’m a very loyal person. Anybody with any sense of logic could see that I rode out. I rode until the wheels fell off [laughs]. You know what I mean? I went to the trial, I was there, I was filming in Vancouver and in my contract, I wasn’t ever supposed to leave Canada. I came to the court, to the trial, three or four times when I was not supposed to. I was contractually doing what I was supposed to not be doing, paying those round trip tickets to come and support and it’s crazy because at that time me and Irv weren’t even speaking. Like, we weren’t even speaking at all…regardless, I’m going to always have love for Irv. Regardless. We’ve made history together. Our chemistry in the studio is amazing. But I’m not going to sit here and let the picture be painted one side anymore.

This is the most open and honest Ashanti has ever been, which is good, because all that “Who said we were in a relationship!?” ducking and dodging was tired. What do you make of her responses?


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  • TM

    I’m tired.

  • Keland

    How often are men repeadetly asked to talk about the women who they have dated in the past?

  • Superfox Mackin

    I can’t wait until her album comes out

  • Missing Ja Rule

    The irony of the situations is that she spent all the time she and Nelly were together trying to keep it private and now it is the only thing that seems to be guiding her interviews. It’s almost as if she forced to speak about it or people are going to lose interest in whatever else she is talking about. She has to keep referring them back to the song. She is a beautiful young lady. I hope her that if her music does not pan out this time, she will get involved in other trades. ……and please do not let it be a cosmetic or jewelry line!!! Everybody is doing that and it is becoming a bit cliche’ and annoying, especially since no one is coming with anything special. Heck, make me want to spend my money on your product!!!!!

  • Leah Robinson

    Ashanti you still my girl and all, but no more talk about Nelly! Give us a banger.

  • enlightenment

    Reading the article, it was kind of hard to follow Ashanti’s point…I’m like “uh…she’s just saying a whole lot of stuff with little substance.”

    Anyway, I’m glad she’s opening up about her relationship…not many people are comfortable opening up about their private lives. I still love Ashanti!

  • candy cane

    All I hear is a bunch of double-speak on this gallon of OLD, stale tea.

  • Afri

    Fcking men!

  • mrsbthediva

    could she use the phrase “we’re in this space,” any more?? This was a boring interview – full of fluff. Who care about Ashanti any more anyways?

    • Anonymously

      Apparently you do,since you were too hype to comment.

  • s. lee

    Well Nelly is publicly with another woman now…I know that’s probably what ended they relationship, but I would just take the higher road and be like yo he’s happy now. I want to move on with my life and not discuss this ANYMOE. I know shes supposed to create from her experiences but don’t tell all your business on these interviews because that mess takes a life of its own and then you have to talk about YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS in all your interviews to give them life…Make This the LAST TIME she delve into her and NELLY. I don’t want to hear about it no more, otherwise Im going to think shes trying to cash in on the breakup drama. MOVE ON and say NO COMMENT…BECAUSE I KNOW PEOPLE WILL ASK. She more vocal now than when they were a couple!?!!?

    • mirror

      Lol at ANYMOE…
      Nelly: Don’t call me Moe man, its for family..its a family name..
      Kevin Hart: I guess I won’t be saying it No… Moe

  • currvalicious

    It’s over now,. no need to continue to deny what was so obvious. It was quite childish anyway, especially after all those years together & not acknowledge a legitimate relationship. Also, Ashanti needs speech classes w/all of the “kinda like” she used. Just fluidly make your point & keep it going. Hopefully her next relationship will benefit her better, & she won’t allow the guy to keep her a secret for over a decade. Good luck Ashanti.

    • Trisha_B

      Nelly actually spoke on their relationship more than Ashanti did. He even had her in his Behind the Music special. Ashanti just had him in that one video but never acknowledge the guy in any interviews. You keep referring to someone as a friend, then that’s what they gonna view the relationship as, as a friendship…..But i do agree the whole denying the relationship is dumb to me. Just say you wanna keep your personal life private. Don’t downgrade your relationship to just “a friend”

      • s. lee

        lol I agree with longtime loves like they were, she/he knew they were more, and she could have taken the reigns and said I want to be public and claiming eachother. Honestly, things may have turned out differently if she would have been a little bit more of a public and vocal. you never know. But when things are just starting out dating, you are my FRIEND until we discuss otherwise, cus we know how dudes are about quick labels. And Im like that too honestly, don’t say Im your girl/wife/woman if you not ready to ACT Like I am, because I REQUIRE that you do.

  • NeaJ

    How long are ppl gonna ask her about Nelly? Is that relationship the only thing keeping her relevant?

    • Lola

      Yes indeed, whenever Ashanti gets interviewed the most interesting topic will always be about Nelly, despite whatever other projects she has going on in the moment… Sad but true.

    • hollyw

      I’m afraid to say, it’s not her singing.. =/

      • s. lee

        I know that’s the truth…cus GIRL. I cant!

    • DiamondPiscesRoyalty

      Pretty much.

    • MissTruth Hurts

      Apparently. Ashanti is a struggle singer & always has been. Kim Zolziak sounds better than her.

    • MissTruth Hurts

      Apparently. Ashanti is a struggle singer & always has been. Kim Zolziak sounds better than her.