I’m done dating, at least for a while. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. As cliché as that sounds, it pretty much sums up my attitude when it comes to romantic relationships. I’m exhausted from the disappointments that have plagued my dating life for the last few years; and mentally drained from all the mistakes I have made. I am officially taking a dating detox; and I truly believe that every woman can benefit by intentionally taking a break from dating at least once in our lives.
This isn’t my first attempt at a break and getting myself together (whatever that really means). In the past I’ve fallen short of my plans. I’ll declare to myself after a night of crying and a morning of sadness that I will not focus on being chosen by a man and instead work on my mental, physical, and emotional health. And I go hard at my plans…for at least a couple of hours or until the guy I’ve wanted to call me, actually calls (usually the one who prompted the crying and sadness). But seriously, this time is different.
I’ve heard “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Well, I’ve done the same thing over and over and sure enough I’ve reaped the exact same results.
I don’t want to appear as if I’m walking around planning weddings in my head or laying in bed all day dreaming of a honeymoon, but there are those instances, where in the back of my mind, I go out hoping to meet a guy. There are some times when I date a man and become consumed with the idea of him, instead of the actual person, simply because I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life.
Like many women, the older I get, the more worried I become about marriage. ‘Will it ever happen for me?’ is a question that often circulates through my mind, especially when I see friends walk down the aisle and start families.
While a dating detox seems a bit silly, at least it did to me at first, I realized that it really is a time to focus on me and not be consumed with a relationship. Let’s face it, relationships can be distractions, whether good or bad, nonetheless they’re distractions. So if you’ve noticed that men are your weakness, why not take a break from them to become stronger and more disciplined with your relationship skills? Basically, a break will allow you to focus on your shortcomings, but more importantly, teach you more discipline so that you can hopefully make better decisions involving relationships in the future.
So what exactly am I doing without during my dating detox? The answer is simple: men. No dates (which I hardly get a chance to do anyway because of my busy work schedule), no phone calls with guys of romantic interest, and more importantly, no attempts to rekindle old flames simply because I’m bored.
Again, I believe every woman can benefit from a dating detox every now and then. It’s simply a time to focus on you and to cleanse your mind, body and soul. How long you choose to do it or what specific things you choose to give up are all up to you, but do yourself and your future relationships a favor and invest time in yourself before investing it in someone else.
