Don’t Let Facebook Ruin Your Relationship!

December 31st, 2010 - By Dr. Phoenyx Austin

You’ve recently started dating someone (or you’ve been dating someone) and you’re both basking in the glow of your relationship. You take long walks on the beach, have wonderful conversations about what your children will look like, finish each other’s sentences, and stare into each other’s eyes for hours on end. You think, “This guy/girl is great!” Then one day, you’re chilling over your significant other’s home and you notice that they happen to log out of Facebook. You let them know you also have a profile on the fabulous social networking site.  Then someone nonchalantly says, “Why don’t you add me as a friend?”

Now this scenario can go one of several ways. And in an age where people willingly put all their business out there for public consumption, criticism, and critique, I‘d advise first setting up ground rules before adding your love interest as a Facebook friend. It could be the difference between relationship bliss or continual headaches.

At the end of the day, whether it’s Facebook or real life, romantic relationships should be solidly built on open and honest communication. So here are some suggestions on how to fully enjoy the experience of Facebook, without jeopardizing your relationship.

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  • A-MIX-FON-CHICK

    I did have a myspace at one point, but it ended due to the fact my partner didn't like the comments I was getting, plus he would always find something wrong, snooping thru. my mail blah blah… Now 4 years later I have made a FB, which we agreed on. Now he finds a problem with that ugh! I have my page locked so only friends of friends/friends can add me and send msg. but they cannot see my pictures. only my friends can see my pic. long story short I have no more than 5 pic. of me all of which are just face pic. anyway… 2 guys comment on my pic. saying I was good looking… I replied I have a BF and ask that you please don't use suggestive words. This i deleted both users from my friends. Instantly he feels like this is going to be a repeat and wants me to delete me account which I just created. I said its not worth the argument after 6 years of being together… I'm not a cheater and I don't look at any other man! Its just stressing and too taxing esp. if you really love someone. I did manage to work it out with the arguing :)

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  • The Phantom

    I see nothing wrong with having a Facebook page when you're in a relationship. The problems I have with it are when someone wants to keep the other from even being able to view their page. What are they hiding from each other?

    My ex-girlfriend used to accuse me of trying to date women who were on my friends list when they were about a thousand miles away from me! I even put on my page that I was in a relationship while she still had that she was single. It's things like that that make me wonder sometimes.

    But I still see nothing wrong with both people have a FB page. If you're that insecure you probably aren't ready for a relationship anyway.

  • Riley

    I'm 21 and I can't stand Facebook. It causes problems. People will try to make your life hell on that website. Besides I couldn't stand more than half the people on my friends list.

    I think its for people who like to be in the known…

  • QB

    Been there with the being open and my ex made another page to do his dirt. So to keep myself out of the ignorance & drama I dropped him and decided social networking just wasnt for me most people are portraying something they really arent anyways and its not worth arguing or going through all that trouble, plus I 2nd Linda if I didnt talk to you then or you didnt like me etc what had changed that makes you want to keep intouch now??

  • linda

    I did try the whole facebook mess, but after constant online fights about stupid comments and people I hated 15 yrs ago poping up .. I decided to delete my account. I just don't have a need to tell all my business. My friends can send a freaking email and call it a day. And as far as people seeking me out after 10 plus yrs, ummmm NO! If I hated you then I hate you now.I know hate is a strong world , but that's just how I feel. The whole facebook mess was more of headache .

  • Ruby

    I never understood why husbands and wives are on each other's pages. Don't they trust each other? It's like being controlled.

  • Nina

    Very good points made in this article. I've experienced all of these and in the end, I opted to delete my account, not solely for my relationship but also because Facebook, myspace, etc. is such a waste of time.