It’s Not Him, It’s You: Reasons Your Relationships Never Last

August 5, 2013  |  
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Most people go into relationships with the highest of hopes. Everyone wants to get into a relationship that will last and be meaningful. However, we all have our flaws, and those can end up being the downfall of a relationship. If you’ve noticed that all of your relationships tend to have a 90-day warranty and then suddenly they’re over, the problem is likely you. Here are some behaviors that might be pushing your partners away.

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You have poor communication skills

Any and all relationships, even friendships, require consistent and open communication. If you are someone who isn’t very open emotionally, you can’t count on having long-lasting relationships. You have to be able to tell your man what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling, what you want out of the relationship, and even small things, such as how your day went. Without open communication, any relationship is bound to fail.

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You’re disrespectful

In order to receive respect, you have to give it, and no matter how many times you’ve heard this saying, it remains to be plenty true. Without respect in a relationship, anything and everything can go wrong. Maybe you don’t give your man the privacy that he needs once in awhile. Or maybe you only blurt out how you feel — rudely — without listening to his side of the story. A lack of respect can lead to communication failures and even cheating.

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You’re defensive

Once you’ve gotten into the mindset that you always have to be defensive, you’ll find that it is a hard habit to break. Being criticized and put under a spotlight is never a good feeling, but your instincts prompt you to go into defensive mode, even if you really aren’t being criticized at all. When you become defensive after receiving advice or constructive criticism, your partner may back off, which could lead to a lack of communication.

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You’re overly needy

It’s definitely important to feel wanted, loved, and cared about, but when you are in a relationship, you do not need to be connected at the hip with your man. If you’re one of those women who needs attention 24/7 and you need to be around your guy as much as possible, you may be a bit too much to handle for most men. If you want a relationship to last, you’ll have to realize that time spent together is just as important as the time that you two spend apart from each other.

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You’re too busy

Women nowadays love to be independent. There’s nothing more rewarding than being able to have a steady job, a career focus, and a college degree. However, there are some women who need to be honest about the fact that they are just way too busy for a relationship. Where you choose to spend your time shows where your priorities lie. If you see your guy once or twice a week for an hour, then the relationship is already strained. Relationships require effort and time, and if you can’t give that, it’s a done deal.

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You lack self-confidence

Before you go into any relationship, you need to make sure that your self-confidence and self-esteem are in check. For some men, it’s extremely hard to date a woman who is not confident in herself. Your lack of confidence can lead to plenty of other problems in the relationship, including a lack of trust, jealousy, and a constant need for affirmation. Like you’ve heard plenty of times, before someone can love you, you have to love yourself.

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You don’t know what you want

A good reason why your relationships never last is due to the fact that you have no idea what you want. When you’re still pinpointing what it is exactly that you want in a man, you should stick to casual dating. Getting into relationship after relationship doesn’t benefit either person. Know what you want before committing yourself and involving someone else’s feelings.

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You have unrealistic expectations

Nowadays every relationship you see on T.V. and read about are the ones that seem like true fairytales. We’re all made to believe that we can easily meet someone, get married, and live happily ever after just like that. But, for most of us, this is merely a dream, and we all know that relationships just aren’t that easy. Going into a relationship with unrealistic expectations will definitely set it on a path to nowhere.

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You’re negative

When things go wrong, they go really wrong, but that’s only because you’re one of those women who puts a strong emphasis on the negative things that happen. If your man is late from work, you blow it up into something it isn’t — like work is more important than you, instead of considering the fact that he had a high-priority project to finish and he’s a dedicated employee. Seeing everything in a negative light will cause all sort of frustration for your partner.

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You’re immature

Immaturity and lasting relationships just don’t mix. While a man may be able to cope with your low levels of maturity at first, it’s most likely that your immaturity will soon enough drive him away from wanting to be in a relationship with you. Being immature doesn’t allow for the serious effort and energy that is needed in order to keep a relationship on the smooth path. If you’re immature, don’t expect any relationship you have to stay alive for very long until you grow up.

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You have trust issues

Without trust, you really don’t have much of a relationship. Some women go into a relationship with trust problems while others have their trust breached due to their partner’s actions. When trust is gone in a relationship, the relationship is really on its last leg. A lack of trust allows your mind to wander and assume betrayals that aren’t really there. After so many accusations, a man will decide convincing you he’s trustworthy just isn’t worth it.

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You’re selfish

A relationship takes two people to make it work. Things can’t be one-sided or else the relationship will become a burden for the other person involved. Things can’t always be just about you. You can’t be the one to make all the calls in the bedroom and for the dates and for the holidays and summer vacation. In a relationship, it’s important to keep a balance of give and take, or else selfishness takes over.

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You hold yourself back

No matter if you’re single or in a relationship, you aren’t a social butterfly, nor are you someone who opens up easily. While it’s okay to be shy and quiet in the beginning of things, it’s important for you to, at some point, allow yourself to open up and be a bit vulnerable. Holding yourself back in a relationship, physically, mentally, and emotionally, doesn’t allow each person to truly get to know the other. Relationships require both of you to open up, be vulnerable, and take the leap of faith.

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You’re unyielding

Maybe you’re one of those women who always has to be right, or maybe you’re just a bit stuck in your ways and compromising isn’t something that you like to do. Whatever the case may be, being unwilling to compromise can definitely send a relationship into a downward spiral just as quickly as it came. In order for a relationship to be successful, you have to be willing to bend a little and be able to adapt. You and your partner will butt heads at some point, so being able to compromise is crucial, or else you’ll hold tons of grudges — and he will too.

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