Cougar Etiquette 101: What Not To Do When Dating A Younger Man
Cougars are all the rage for men in their twenties through forties (although the latter are kidding themselves—they’re no young cubs). But just what is it about women in the 40 plus group that is such a turn on? You’ll thrive in the game of dating younger men if you can pin that down, and if you can avoid the bad behavior of your fellow 40-plus felines.
Don’t try to dress like you’re twenty
Trying to dress like you’re half your age makes you look twice your age. You probably don’t have the abs you used to back in the day, so get acquainted with flowy tops. The good news is your girls probably grew with age and maybe a little weight gain elsewhere. Show ’em off!
Don’t try to keep up with pop culture
Play the music you like when he comes over, suggest movies from your youth on movie night, and for goodness sake do not keep up with the Kardashians. One of your cub’s favorite things about you is you’ve got “vintage” style. He wants to know what’s interesting and popular in your age group.
Don’t try to party too hard
Men look for class in cougars. Don’t try to keep up with a young buck by suddenly wanting to go out all throughout the week and drink hard after work. Your body won’t bounce back the same; and if he wanted a party girl, he’d be with one, instead of you.
Don’t mommy him
Don’t correct his grammar, or fact-check him when he’s engaged in conversation, or wipe his mouth. The last thing he’ll want to do is have sex with someone who reminds him of his mother.
Don’t pay for everything
Let him feel like a man and treat you, too. The greatest thing about dating someone younger is that he has so many places to show you that you’d never know about otherwise, and visa versa. So, try this: when you suggest a place, you pay. And when he suggests one, he pays.
Don’t be too bossy in bed
A cub will like that you know what you’re doing. He won’t like if you imply he doesn’t know what he’s doing. If there are certain things you need to happen in bed, present them in a way so it’s fun for both of you, and not just all in service of your big O.
Don’t talk too much about your accomplishments
You’ve had a longer life and inevitably accomplished more than your cub. It’s natural to reference your own history, experiences, victories etc. in conversation, but you have to watch it around a cub. He’s insecure to begin with: don’t provoke that.
But don’t downplay your accomplishments
Don’t completely stay quiet about what you’ve done! Part of what attracts a young guy to an older woman is all her knowledge and experience about careers, travel, relationships and life in general. When he asks you about your history, don’t be afraid to share.
Don’t get catty around younger women
Like a crop top or too much makeup, catty behavior instantly ages you. So long as you see your age as an advantage, so will your cub. But he can smell it the second you feel insecure about your age, and being catty to younger women is the first symptom.
Don’t knock the young spots
Your cub is going to take you to places that are too loud, too crowded, too simple, too cheap, too dirty—you name it. But there’s a reason he likes those places. Be open to what that reason may be.
Accept your curves
Too many cougars hit the gym obsessively, whittling their bodies down to nothing but bone. That does not look good on an older woman. Curves come in beautifully on the 40-plus group. And to a cub, that type of body isn’t a turn off—it’s different and exciting.
Don’t judge him
He won’t know as much about money management or interior design or even table manners as you do. His apartment might be messy and his resume might be all botched up. Just remember: so was yours when you were his age.
Don’t hide your kids!
If you lie about having children or send them away to visit their aunt anytime your cub comes over, everybody will feel guilty. Your guy will feel guilty that your kids have to scram when he’s around, and you’ll feel guilty about hiding your pride and joy!
Don’t dump on men your age
A younger man wants to feel that you’re approaching the concept of dating younger men from a positive place. He wants to feel that you see what is special about him, and not just how he is the opposite of everybody else you’ve dated. Refrain from complaining about men your age.