It can be confusing to sort out your feelings for someone, especially if your relationship has lasted a long time. There are lots of obvious reasons to break up, but the ones on this list disguise themselves as reasons to stay together.
1. “S/He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
Variations: “She’s such a good person” or “He’s a great boyfriend.”
In every other area of life, not doing anything wrong does not earn you an A+. It earns you a passing grade, but a passing grade is not the same as a stellar significant other. Not doing anything wrong does not equate to doing everything right. You deserve someone who is more than a C.
2. “S/He loves me so much.”
Variations: “She cares about our relationship a lot” or “He’s treats me so well.”
Yep, nice people tend to do that. As do respectful people and basically everyone who is interested in girlfriend/boyfriend retention. This phrase leaves out the key component: you. Just because you are loved doesn’t mean that you love in return. It’s a major flaw when the thing you like best about your relationship is how much your partner likes you.
3. “It would be so horrible to break up.”
Variations: “I don’t want to think about it now” or “It’s not a good time.”
It’s never going to NOT be awful. Breaking up sucks, no matter if you’re being rejected or doing the rejecting. But chances are, life isn’t going to hand you a perfect opportunity. You’ll both always be stressed, always have other things on your mind and it will be unpleasant no matter what day you choose to pull the trigger.
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