For The Fellas: Signs A Woman May Be Totally Crazy

May 21, 2013  |  
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We women know we can be a little emotional, and we can see how that can make it hard for men to discern the truly crazy ones that will engage them in a Fatal Attraction situation from those of us who are just displaying typical female behavior. But you need to know, because filing for a restraining order is a motha. Here are the signs.


She reads your texts over your shoulder

This is no accident: a sane girl intentionally looks away when you’re reading a text (or an email) to give you privacy. Remember, that is always an option. The crazy one banks on you thinking, “Oh, she’s just peering over here by coincidence” and looks.


She gives one of your friends the axe

She tells you she’d rather you didn’t hang out with a certain friend. It takes a deeply insecure girl to even think that the friends you choose for yourself somehow put her at risk of you dumping her.


She fights with you in public

Really? She couldn’t just wait ten minutes until you were alone in the car? Fighting in public indicates some serious struggles with holding ones temper, and it shows complete disregard for the privacy of your relationship.

She makes up a reason to see you

She asks you to come over because “you’re the only one who knows how to fix this DVD player” and when you get there she has dinner for two, candles and a bottle of wine out. Sporadically, this may be spontaneously cute, but if this happens on a regular, she has zero reserves about trapping a man for company’s sake.



She gives you a texting deadline

If you don’t return her texts in X amount of time, you’re in big trouble. In fact, you must be cheating. Normal women understand that anybody with a life is often in a position where they can’t text back for a few hours.

Source: Shutterstock

She counts your condoms

Do we need to say much about this one? Oh P.S. she’s reading your prescriptions too.

When you don’t text back, she calls

And when you don’t answer that call, she emails and when you don’t respond to that email, she sends angry texts.


She cries within the first three dates

Anyone who is emotionally stable should be able to put on a happy face for three dates, even if there are stressful things happening in their life. If they’re crying in front of someone they’re just getting to know and should be putting their best foot forward in front of, they do not have a handle on their life.



She befriends your friends fast

She meets them once and suddenly has all their phone numbers, is friends with them all on Facebook, has invited them to her parent’s summer home and is having one on one drinks with your best friend. She is fortifying herself against you dumping her by getting in with your friends.



She opens your drawers

You find your things have been rifled through. Even worse, she admits to it and doesn’t see anything wrong with it! She’s essentially looking for evidence that you’re cheating on her, or that you have belongings of an ex still around so she can accuse you of still having feelings for said ex.


She asks your friends about your exes

She plays detective and tries to get information from your friends, or even your family, about your exes—particularly 1) Was she pretty? 2) Was she prettier than her?? 3) Did you love her? 4) Are you madly and deeply in love with her still?


She shows up at your job a lot

It’s cute one or two times if she’s bringing you a surprise lunch, but if she’s your girlfriend and showing up on a weekly basis, she’s just spying on you. And if she’s someone you’re newly dating and she shows up before you’ve even had a third date, she’s already planning your kid’s names.



She’s delusional

She tells you she once dated a celebrity, but you find out all she did was get his phone number and send him 100 unanswered texts. You continuously discover that she blows up tiny details into illusions of grandeur.

Source: Shutterstock

She fights with her parents a lot

A phone call with her parents means screaming and crying for thirty minutes. Look: we all have family drama. But if you’re an adult who still regularly gets into it with your parents, you have daddy/mommy issues. And that always makes for a crazy chick.

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  • Guest

    Soooo I’m low key crazy lol smh

  • edwardgore

    That first Black Chick is gorgeous with silk-smooth brown skin!

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  • Show Me the Receipts

    1. Her self esteem isn’t lowered because you’ve degraded her.
    2. She won’t pay your bills aka ‘holding you down’
    3. She won’t trade a meal for sex.
    4. When you finally do have sex, you must wear a condom and keep it on.
    5. She expects you to be monogamous.
    6. She believes in logical dialog.
    7. She’s not interested in gangster rap come-ons, slang or courtship.

    Total signs that a women is crazy so stay away.

  • Picky

    #2 sometimes guys do hang out with some fools that get them into fights and trouble when they go out though.That’s not NECESSARILY crazy to suggest that you axe your fool friends.

  • Bee

    If it wasn’t for me counting his condoms, I would’ve never known that he was cheating on me. I don’t think that is cray cray.

    Then I hacked his computer. Now that’s cray cray.

  • Ladybug94

    Hmmm, I know a lot of guys who do these same things.

  • Reading prescriptions might not be that bad of idea. You dont know if he is CRAZY or he could have an STD. Better safe than sorry…..

  • Candacey Doris

    Not all of these are signs of being crazy. Most are just the signs of insecurity, immaturity, or just plain selfishness. Inappropriate behavior is not crazy.

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  • really?

    @ted A divorcee or single mother is someone to avoid! How shallow is that. If this is the way you think you won’t have to worry about a girlfriend in the future truely. Being either one doesn’t mean that the person is not worthy of love. Thank God all men aren’t so shallow!

    • Herm Cain

      Nothing shallow about it quit projecting as we get older people know what they want and what they will accept plenty women don’t want either of those as well

    • Dragonlady

      He’s probably some super educated man that thinks he more than what he’s actually worth. Having degrees doesn’t make you a good man.

  • chanela

    shows up at the job?!!?!?! THE HELL!?!??! smh why do THESE chicks always end up with a boyfriend? SMH

    • Ladybug94

      These are the women guys treat like gold and the ones who actually act like decent women get treated like old burlap.

      • Dragonlady

        Preach. I see this type of situation all the time. Black men are so two faced. A lot of them really do like the drama queens. But when you treat them like a human being they get bored. Sick. Smh.

  • Brittany

    this article is hilarious! especially since i know these girls are out there. thanks for the laugh!

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  • ted mikeal

    Well. if i went by this criteria, i would never had a girlfriend or will i ever get on in the future.

    The thing is; if you like someone enough and they have other good important qualities, you can tolerate some of this things! No one is perfect and we all have done some of this things. Better focus of the important stuff !

    Here are the real women, men need to avoid; Gold diggers, feminists, Elitist women, Argumentative women, Divorcees and single mothers, cheating Women, reform hoe’s, Desperate Chicks, The Club Girl and violent women !

    • Dez

      Divorcees??? Single mothers???? What kind of garbage is that? Yes I’m a single mother and it’s because I’m widowed. So should females stay away from single fathers? That was a very ignorant comment.

      • ted mikeal

        well, i was speaking behalf of single, unmarried, childless and professional men !

        Black men and women need some standard, the lack of standard between bm/bw is big part of our problem !

        • mrshart2hart

          I get what you are trying to say but as Dez stated she is a single mother because she is widowed. How is that below a Black mans standards? Plus some Divorcees are divorced because the husband cheated; was physically abusive, how is that a black mark for her? Same as if a man divorces a woman because she is fricken nuts, does that mean he is damaged goods? I’m really really not being combative or snarky just looking for your point of view since you listed these two.

    • Herm Cain

      +1000 dead on

    • Bella

      Not all feminists are anti-men. Women should fight for equality in a world where they are treated as second class citizens. It doesn’t take anything away from a guy if his girlfriend/wife is for women’s rights.

      • general

        It matters when its one sided. …like reproduction rights……how come if women are able to “fix”a problem she gets in if she doesn’t like the perspective father,school,wants a different men,or just wants to party ,then why cant a man have a way out too………??????…..I thought you were all about fairness?

  • Tehani

    I would call these behaviors repulsive and inappropriate rather than referring to a woman as ‘crazy’.

    • Guess

      i agree except i would probably call them “impulsive” behaviors… repulsive is a bit of an overstatement

  • Nope

    She over-analyzes text messages she sends and receives…