7 (Interesting) Reasons Why Women Should Pick Up The Tab On Dates

April 5, 2013  |  


From Essence

If I had a nickel for every time I heard a woman say “he has to pay to play,” I would own a professional football team by now. That mindset of entitlement totally baffles me. Shucks, it sounds more like a professional arrangement (wink, wink!) than a woman looking for love.

While I’m still al little old school about certain things, deciding who pays for the date is just not one of them. Frankly, I’m shocked at how many women still hold on to outdated dating traditions while demanding new school relationship status.

Hold on. I can already see you giving me a little side eye right about now, so let me explain. I’m not saying a woman should start paying right out of the gate (unless, of course, you ask him out), but once a man has made his level of interest clear, and has been consistent with his intentions, then it’s time for you to step up. Here are seven reasons why:

1. Because it’s considerate: At least offering to pay shows a guy that you are not “on the take.” If you are thoughtful about his financial situation now, then you will be even more considerate as the relationship progresses. Many men won’t accept the offer, especially not in the beginning, but it’s an honorable gesture. Men like to feel valuable, desired, important, respected and loved.

Check the other six reasons on Essence.com.


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  • mac

    Absolute trash.

    If my mindset is “dated” or I’m “old school”, then I’ll gladly be that. If you wanna know who killed chivalry, look no further than you so called “new school” women.
    I’m convinced this group of women can’t get a man to woo them in the first place, so they overcompensate and pretend they don’t want to be courted when the reality is no man is going to anyway.

    Some call it “paying to play”, I call it courting. Any man I date gets the tab, open my doors and is a complete gentleman. I don’t have to ask; they know the deal just from how I carry myself.

    It’s not about feeling entitled, being less financially accountable, or being a gold digger. I’m fully capable of getting my own tab, opening my own doors, and pulling out my own chair. A man does this as a COURTESY.

    You “2013 females” have got to stop pushing this trash. You are selling yourself short. A man appreciates what he’s made an investment in and pursued.

    Require the men you date to be MEN. Stop absolving them of their duties when we already require so little of them to begin with.

    • Stanley 001

      Just because you feel threaten by this does not make it a bad thing.

      If a man does this as a COURTESY, can’t you do that as a COURTESY as well? Or what is wrong if a woman does this as a COURTESY?

      The problem is that people like you think just being a woman is enough to get the most desirable man. No, it’s not. A woman as to work as hard as a man to get and keep a partner. That’s the reality of things.

      • mac

        So shall we also get doors for you and pull out your chairs too? You know, as a courtesy? Absolutely laughable.

        Men like you want all the perks of being a man: having a woman look up to you as the leader, serve you and cater you, but when it comes to your money, you wanna scream “equality”.

        Have every seat on earth.

    • mscharming88

      Paying for dates & holding the door open for someone doesn’t make him a man, just makes him a nice person.

      • Ladybug94

        And that’s the least he could do. It wouldn’t hurt.

    • Ladybug94

      Bravo..well said.

  • Nope

    A man that you’re not actually in a relationship with doesn’t owe you anything, including paying for your meal.

    The people that believe that “If a man asks, he should have to pay” is a really weak argument because MOST women don’t ask (because they’re afraid of rejection, though other excuses are given) so a man is basically forced to ask by default.