So He Stopped Calling…Here’s What You Probably Shouldn’t Do

March 22, 2013  |  
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So you met this amazing guy and the two of you seem to have really hit it off. He takes you on dates frequently. You guys spend hours on the phone laughing and learning more about each other. You send cute and flirty text messages back and forth all day. Then, one day, out of the blue, all of that comes to a screeching halt. Days, weeks and maybe even months have gone by without you receiving so much as a “Good Morning” text from him and for the life of you, you can’t seem to figure out what went wrong. This is just one of the many casualties that comes along with playing the dating game. It happens to the best of us. No one wants to feel “played” or rejected, but it’s how you carry yourself in situations such as this one that determines whether or not you’ll come out on top. Check out this list of things you probably shouldn’t do if the man you’re seeing suddenly starts acting funny.

Call (or text) him repeatedly

Call (or text) him repeatedly

Look, we’re women and we were all born with some level of common sense, discernment and intuition. You have enough sense to know when someone doesn’t want to speak to you. Once you know that he’s okay, in good health and not in danger, there’s no need to continue calling him off the hook, especially if he isn’t answering. Step away from your handheld device, please.

Wait by the phone

Wait by the phone

There’s a world outside with much to explore and plenty to engage in (including better men!). There are plenty of fish in the sea. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t waste your days waiting by the phone. This guy clearly is not checking for you, so why are you waiting around for him?

Wrack your brain about why he hasn't called

Wrack your brain about why he hasn’t called

There are a million and one possible reasons why a man stops calling a woman that he’s seeing. Please don’t make it your business to mull over every single one. As tempting as it is, it’s an absolute waste of time and has the potential to leave you mentally drained. If and when he comes straight out and tells you what happened, that’s when you deal with it. Otherwise, it’s probably a good idea to use your brain for more productive purposes.

Make a habit of stalking his social networking pages

Make a habit of stalking his social networking pages

I know that the temptation is there to log onto Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram to see if he has updated his social networking pages. It makes perfect sense that you would snoop around his profile, looking for possible leads that can assist you in solving the mystery of why he hasn’t called. Maybe you’ll find that he met someone else or was in a secret relationship all along, but honestly, what will that prove? Spare yourself the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt feelings. Keep it moving and stay off of his online profiles.

Question his friends or family regarding his whereabouts

Question his friends or family regarding his whereabouts 

So maybe he’s introduced you to his friends or family members during the time that you guys were seeing each other. While picking their brains for information on his whereabouts or possibly even probing for reasons why he hasn’t called may seem harmless, chances are they’re going to go back and tell him. Simply put, this is not a good look. And again, what will this prove? Where’s your dignity, girl? I’m going to need you to fall all the way back.

Leave angry voicemails (and text messages)

I know it’s frustrating. How dare he just up and stop calling with no explanation!? Who does he think he is ignoring your calls? You should give him a piece of your mind, right? WRONG! While nobody likes to be snubbed, angry voicemails and text messages are not the route to take. While it may feel good for the moment, I can almost guarantee that you’ll regret it later. And if he’s on the immature side, there’s no telling who he’ll be playing those messages for, clowning you, after you’ve already clowned yourself. Keep your cool, boo. Never let ’em see you sweat.

Continue asking him whats wrong or why he hasn't called

Continue asking him whats wrong or why he hasn’t called

I have this thing about having to ask a grown man what his issue is more than twice. If you’ve asked him on more than two occasions what his deal is and why he’s acting funny style and he hasn’t given you a straight answer, keep it moving. He’s playing games that you don’t have time for. Step aside and allow him to take his mess elsewhere.



So you really liked him and your feelings are kind of hurt. It happens. You’ve survived worse, so pick yourself up out of that slump. You’ve got way too much to do and accomplish to be wasting time sulking over a man who has proven himself to be fickle. Turn that frown upside down and walk with your head held high. There are plenty of men out there who will recognize just how special you are.

Make excuses for why he hasn't called

Make excuses for why he hasn’t called

People make time for what they want to make time for. Don’t start making all of these excuses for why this man abruptly began giving you the complete cold shoulder. “Oh, he’s been busy,” or “He’s just going through something right now.” Girl, bye. He’s too busy to send a text or make a brief phone call to let you know what’s going on? Please, a man who truly wants you will go above and beyond to make sure that you’re aware of it.

Be so quick to let him back in when he finally does come back around

Be so quick to let him back in when he finally does come back around

They always come back. When he finally comes back around, don’t be so eager to dive back into the relationship head first. Don’t be so quick to go right back to sitting on the phone with him for hours on end. Ask yourself, “Does the man who’s been snubbing for weeks or months deserve my time?” You are not a doll that he can pick up and play with when he feels like it and leave on the shelf when he doesn’t. Keep that in mind when you see his phone number flash across your illuminated LCD screen.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise.

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  • John

    They don’t always call back.

  • Ashley

    Thank you so much for this article. I think its easy to go through this because of things the man has said or done in better times. Once a man fails to keep his world we women refuse to let the promises go, behold a disaster. I am fighting it as we speak, you have given me hope.

  • FromBruxelleswith Love

    Thanks for this article. Few weeks ago (1st week of April 2015), I remember I was absolutely happy. For 3 years without boyfriend, I finally meet a guy, a decade older than me. So we continuously talked, If I am out of work, he will send a message not to forget him, all future plans, family involve… He is calling (international calls). I was really giving my trust and really hoping that this is the man. So many plans, we are have alot in common, travelling, are, culture.. every bits and pieces, we shared everything. One day- Thursday, everything changed, on that day I felt that he did not talk alot and i said, he might just be very busy. The next day- Friday, whole day until evening I have waited, I was disappointed and I finally told him to call it quits between us but he said, no and he will try to communicate more. The next day until now, he did not communicate with me….

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  • Raeday

    I’m going through a similar situation with a former ex that I reconnected with recently we met had great fun and had great fun and talked and text everyday then all of a sudden he disappeared. I’m heartbroken. I sent the courtesy email, text, and phone call and I believe he’s okay I want to go off so bad! But I’m going to keep it cute and put it on mute thank your for the article it has helped 🙂

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  • Sam

    I’m a man and this statement is enough to throw the credibility of the author “…we’re women and we are all born with some common sense”…..right , keep the horseshit. There are 1001 reasons why we don’t call, and one of them, is pride.

  • RedSylk

    I needed some sister talk!! Reading this made me stop crying, pick myself up and realize that i don’t have to wait around on no man! Thanks for sharing


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  • JS

    Thank you for this, it is exactly what I need to know/hear.

  • Christine

    Alright, the same thing happened to me my man wasnt talking to me for a week, I askedhim “why havent you called” no reply. The next two days I text him his name no reply then I told him Im done its over, then On my way from dropping my baby brother to nursery sulking i saw one of my best girl friends and she took me into her for me to just explain why am I feeling this way, I explained my man disappeared no contact nothing, she said what was the last thing you said I told her he said good night and blew me kisses she said thats weird you havent done anything to piss him off right? I said no it was all great she said that is very weird my friend she told me her man wouldny talk to her for week and she would STILL initiate in having a conversation with him but all by herself as in “Good Moening, Baby, how are you this morning? You good?Yeah Im good too, I hope you have a great day” she did it for a week he finally called… My friend said all it takes is patience. She asked if he had problems with his feelinsg I told her he told me that he finds it hard to say some sweet things as in let himself go as he has never been in love before and she said well thats because he might have a wall from letting himself feel some type of way so he doesnt get hurt and you telling him last night that its over proven why he has his wall. You should apologise and keep texting him until he replies but o ly for two weeks all you have to have is patience. I texted him a message apologising and telling him its not over im not done with him etc etc and turned out he didnt disappear turns out he was waitinf for me to message him but me asking why he didnt call put him off and he wanted space and then me saying its over just hurt him but he forgiven me and has excepted my apology.

    You see sometimes when a GREAT guy is not contacting you, patience is virtue iniatiate in conversation whether he talks or not. No more than two weeks though.

  • Sparklez Bright

    i totally agree with everything said in this article, and i hate to see young girls chasing after a man who’s obviously not thinking about them.

  • guest

    i was going through it but when i realized that i am not worthy it and wasting my time i moved on the guy married another lady unfortunately we meant at a certain corner he was shocked to see me doing very well he thought it was my end but still regrets and even calls me out for a date but i told him he left me when i needed him the most but now am busy with my studies and running a company, he does not believe it. it took me a year to mourn text, call and even chat on facebook until he broke the news to me one night that he was going to marry very soon and that i should respect his decision. i am happy now since then have never dated and hated man.

  • Audrey Gallant

    All of you guys on here are so strong – thanks for the words <3

  • letsbforeel

    Is that phone stuff that serious? Really? Would it be better if we were texting 40 times a day and another thing Women conveniently dismiss is that women are wishy washy with phone calls too but the only difference is that Men(or at least most I know) dont get melodramatic about and act as if she doesn’t appreciate me if she doesn’t call(text) or answer right away, nor does she have check in or give an excuse for why she didnt. 40 days later and she didn’t call, been moved on. Nor keeping count on exactly how many days til the next call(text)

    • Diana

      It’s not being melodramatic its about having common courtesy if you are showing interest in this person and you know they are developing feelings for your than you just stop contacting him or her that is completely rude and hurtful why not just be upfront with that person alot of men are cowards and it does hurt that person because they feel rejected try putting yourself In someone else’s shoes before you dismiss them as simply being dramatic once again showing that men could care less about women’s feelings we are always just being dramatic I swear dogs treat you better than a man

  • FAMURattler85

    I sure do hate when this happens AFTER I give a dude several times to be straight up with me. I don’t sweat it thought I just treat him the same way he treated me when he comes back or if I see him around. I can be so dismissive and nonchalant. Ran into one of these guys last weekend, spoke and kept it moving. I guess he expected more since I left him with the lingering eye.

    • LuLu_Slim

      I’ll just ignore him by acting like I’ve never known him; because obviously if we were ever even “friends” he wouldn’t have treated me that way. Friends don’t just disregard one another as without taking feelings and respect into consideration.

      • FAMURattler85

        I’m with you.

  • Sagittarius81

    If a man doesn’t called me for days, weeks or months, I’m moving on to another man who will appreciate me as a person. It takes a real man to tell a woman that he’s no longer interested and we should see other people, I would respect him for being truthful.

    • more

      Most wont tell u. That’s up tp i to figure out. women have a hard time knowing when a man is just using them

  • Why? Why that picture on slide # 11? MN I just can’t with y’all today! LMFAO!

    To address the article, hopefully the girl is smart enough that if she is only dating him that she hasn’t cut off her other potentials (like women make the mistake of doing ALL the time) and therefore doesn’t have too much time to be worried about why he fell off.

    Hopefully she learned that she doesn’t give all of her time to a man that hasn’t asked to be her man. Why he got ghost is because he picked up queues that she was starting to go into relationship mode and he freaked because he wasn’t ready to go there. Hold back next time and stop being so available.

    • sabrina

      I read the comments before clicking through and couldn’t wait to see what the image on slide #11 held. LMFAO!!!! Totally with you on that one!!!!

    • bluekissess

      I love reading ALL of your comments. I always tend to giggle. But, I agree. If I ever get to a point as to why he ain’t calling that let’s me know that I need to find a hobby. I shouldn’t let small stuff consume you. Live & Learn.

      • Lmao!! That’s the truth. When you have a life that don’t revolve around what a man is or isn’t doing you don’t worry about why he’s disappeared.

  • This was pretty much on point. Unfortunately a lot of woman fall victim to this. Let’s face it, we all want to know from the jump if we are going to waste our time or not. Trying to figure what his intentions are when he does not call is draining. Some have to go though this to know what it is they truly want and know who they really are. No man should never give you a headache when you are dating. If it’s not meant to be in the beginning than MOVE ON. Life is to short to just sit around waiting on him. Trust me if he aint calling you and you wondering why chances are he has moved to someone else or just aint that in to you. Always keep it classy and a little sassy!