Don’t Wait For Him To Put A Ring On It: Sure Signs He Isn’t Planning To Propose

April 25, 2013  |  
black man and woman

Every woman dreams of having a ring on her finger, right?! Long-term relationships are typically the pathway to marriage and beyond. However, not all men have marriage on their mind, at least not without some pushing and prodding. Here are 14 signs that your boyfriend isn’t planning to propose to you anytime soon.

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He avoids weddings

When a guy is ready to propose, he will definitely become much more tolerant of going to weddings. If your guy still hates going to weddings, that’s a sign he isn’t ready for his own. Your man’s feelings towards weddings will say a lot about the future of a ring on your finger.

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He doesn’t talk about getting married

When you bring up the topic of marriage, he quickly changes the topic. Or when you do ask him a question about getting engaged and eventually getting married, he gives you a short answer just to shut you up. A man will bring up the topic of marriage when he is truly ready.

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Marriage isn’t a priority to him

Your guy has priorities, but marriage definitely isn’t one of them. While he likes having you at his side, he still loves living the life of a bachelor. Marriage to him means being tied down, so there’s an unlikely chance that a ring is coming in the near future.

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You’ve been left in the dark in regards to his family

While you’ve introduced him to your parents and your siblings, he’s yet to reciprocate. You may know his parents’ names and maybe you’ve said hello over the phone, but you have not met them face-to-face. This is a huge sign that he’s not ready for anything more than what you two already have.

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He likes living in the past

He talks about how he misses his college days. Sometimes he brings up his ex-girlfriend. He misses the days of late night and early morning drinking fests. When a guy isn’t able to let go of his past, he definitely isn’t thinking much about the future.

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He has no interest in your future

Aside from his own future plans that lack you, he has no true interest in hearing what your plans are. When you bring up your future, he seems completely uninterested in what you have planned. When he has no interest in your future plans, he definitely isn’t looking to propose and build a future together.

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He doesn’t dare step into a jewelry store

He hasn’t asked you what type of ring you’d like and mentioning rings puts him in an indifferent or bad mood. In fact, he’s probably clueless about what size ring you’d wear. When you try to pull him into a jewelry store, he waits outside or goes straight towards the men’s section.

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He doesn’t make a lot of money and doesn’t try to make more

Guys will usually only invest in an engagement ring when they know they are financially well off. If your man doesn’t make a lot of money, that’s fine, there’s always time to make more. However, if your guy has no interest in making more money by getting a better job or trying for a raise, don’t expect a ring.

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He’s not keen on planning a future

Your man prefers to live day-to-day, or when he does discuss future plans, he doesn’t typically include you in them. Maybe he wants to move to a new state or buy a bigger house, but these plans aren’t made with you in them. In any case, future plans that are lacking you usually means no ring because you’re not coming.

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He compliments you without involving himself

He tells you you’re beautiful. He always praises you on how smart you are or how well you cook. But, the one thing he won’t do is compliment you and include himself. He’s never said that he’s happy or lucky to have you. Or how much better of a life he has now that you’re in it.

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He hasn’t mentioned starting a family of his own

In many guy’s heads, a family will come once you two are married. However, if he’s yet to discuss children or having a family with you, he may not be willing to put a ring on your finger anytime soon. Until the topic comes up, don’t expect any bling.

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He doesn’t want to get too serious

Even if you’ve been dating for years, he still isn’t ready to take that next step. The idea of being engaged is too serious in his book. Now is the time for you to figure out what comes next in your future, since he is obviously holding himself back.

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He always makes excuses

When the topics of getting engaged, marriage, or the future come up, he always has an excuse. He’s too busy and stressed to talk about it. There’s something important on T.V. He has too much going on to focus on buying a ring. Whatever the excuse is, it’s usually a bad one.

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He prefers to hang out with other single men

Your man prefers to hang out with single guys as opposed to people who are married. He wants to surround himself with happy bachelors instead of having friends that talk about their wives. Right now he’s content living a life without the worry of marriage.

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  • BROOKLYN BAGWELL

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  • Who cares if and when he wants to get married? Women should have their own timeline and if he isn’t on the same page chuck his azz! You don’t need Miss Cleo or a magic 8 ball to figure out if a man has you in his future, permanently.

    • pretty1908

      I agree completely ! There is no sorcery to making relationships or marriages happen…they happen and excel because both parties want them and are willing to work for them as well. simple

  • Breeze

    Why do you need signs? Ask him and if you’re not on the same page then chuck up the dueces. If you are at a point in your life where you want more then find someone that share your same goals and stop trying to force somene to want what you want because it will never end well. And don’t sit around like a dummy hoping his mind will change wasting time you will never get back.

    • TRUTH IS

      Asking is not enough…watching his actions is. Mouth say anything!

    • Your post sums up this thread.

  • i find it mind boggling that there are men out there who still want to get married !

    Marriage is a very bad deal for men, don’t do it !

    • Nope

      I think marriage and relationships are imposed on most men. There aren’t too many men of any age actively seeking either one of these. We pretty much just get cornered.

      • Herm Cain

        +1000

      • Men who value a family don’t think marriage is something imposed on them. They recognize that making sure the woman they want to have kids with is good enough to commit their fidelity and name to is a better way of bringing children into this world than knocking up a sidechick, girlfriend, or bootycall.

        Overall those men are winning and the others are crying the baby momma/child support blues.

        • Nope

          “Men who value a family don’t think marriage is something imposed on them.”

          So, if a man doesn’t want to be married he doesn’t “value” a family? Maybe he values HIS family, but until a woman is actuall MARRIED to him, she woman isn’t legally included in that anyway.

          “They recognize that making sure the woman they want to have kids with…”

          You’re comparing apples to oranges. Who says most men WANT to have kids with a particular woman. Of course every woman think she’s marriage material. My point is there are men that DON’T want to have kids OR marry a woman. And for every ” baby momma/child support blues”, on the other side of that is baby daddy blues (just wait until Mother’s Day). So that’s a weak point

          The point is still that marriage is NOT a life destination for most men, whether they are with one woman or many, it’s usually just where we wind up.

          • You’re talking in half truths. Surely men know by now how babies are made. So again I ask why would a man not in love with or wanting to be permanently with that woman make a child with her?

            I don’t get that. clearly that model of dropping a load and moving on ISN’T working for him (he’s stuck for the next 18 plus years dealing with a bitter shrew who will hound his azz ) isn’t working for her and most importantly for damn sure ain’t working for the child.

            Let’s start a campaign in the black community. No marriage no children. Then I say casual fyck and be merry. Don’t drag innocence into ignorance (should be the campaign slogan).

    • Herm Cain

      +100

    • Ms. Kameria

      I think it’s mind boggling that there are some women wasting their lives chasing after a proposal/ring/wedding/ his last name……

    • Yes follow that advice with NOT having children. Don’t want to get married, don’t make children who are going to be born into a broken home.

      Seems fair to me.

      • You can leave with a person and have children without getting married… that is what i am doing now !

        Believe me….it works much better !!

        • You are fully of shyt! Playing house until it doesn’t suit you any more is a trifling way to treat the mother of your child.

          Let me ask you this, I think having a child with someone is way more of a commitment than marriage and way more permanent. If you won’t marry her because you think she would abscond with your several hundreds in the bank why oh why in the hell did you make a life with her? If she isn’t trustworthy enough to have your last name why is she good enough to bear your child? That’s foul dude.

          Are you saying your money is more important than the well being of your seed?

          • Cosmic81

            You said “several hundreds in the bank”. I am WEAK!! But you are speaking the truth. Ted sounds young and/or selfish. Playing house is better b/c he keeps his options open which means he really doesn’t intend to be there long anyway. Another statistic.

            • Yep. Its called biding his time until he either gets his money right and can do better with a woman with higher standards, or he wants to have a link with her so he can double dutch his azz in and out of her life when it suits HIM. Another statistic indeed.

        • English

          How do you know this and you’ve never been married?

        • friend

          @ guest… you sound very immature….

      • English

        So the home can’t be broken after marriage?

        • Difference being intent. You intend to spend the rest of your life with the father/mother of your children BEFORE you had them. Rather than you knocked up your jump-off, casual fling, or boyfriend/girlfriend you ain’t really feeling enough to make it official with.

          See the difference?

  • Piscmini

    My girlfriend keep saying that “any day now” her boyfriend will propose… I say nothing at all to that,she will find out.

    She hasn’t even said boo on nobody’s phone to any of his family.

    • Ms. Kameria

      It’s kind of sad….that some women wish/wait/hope for a proposal.

      • Piscmini

        Girl she is wishing upon stars for all of her life.

  • michaelderrick

    He prefers to hang out with other single men… we all do !

    married people are boring !

  • Why can’t she propose?

    • TRUTH IS

      Lol….lol…so he can turn her down and say he is not ready? Men are the ones who have a hard time with getting married. Most women dont.

      • so it’s ok for him to be rejected not her??

        • TRUTH IS

          When she rejects him its because shes not into him…lol

          • if men have a hard time getting married so do women….. who do you think they’re waiting on to marry them??

            • TRUTH IS

              who is they’re and who is them? The men or the women? Did you see Nope and mick post above. These are the reasons. Is it only BM who think this way or men in general?

  • TRUTH IS

    On top of this, modern day men want the woman to chase him so he can be in violation of 1 or few of these 14 signs….pffff

  • Nope

    #1 – The fact that you’re the one trying to convince him of how much he needs you in his life, but that i’snt/never came from his own actual mouth or actions.