Third- Party Action: The Benefits of Couples Counseling Before Saying “I Do”

March 9, 2013  |  

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1. Determine if You Are Compatible

Sometimes folks can fall in love before they even discover if they’re compatible. It may be chemical, it may be lust, or sheer infatuation, but a lot of times people can find themselves in relationships with people they have nothing in common with. This isn’t to say that opposites can’t attract and have successful relationships; but most times, if you don’t share core values, the relationship will quickly deteriorate. A therapist can help you determine if you both are on the same page when it comes to topics or issues that are near and dear to both of you. If one of you is deeply religious, for example, while the other is an atheist, a counselor can help you both determine if that will be a deal breaker or something you both can respect about each other and move forward. Once the allure of the “in love” feeling wears off and reality sets in, you have to really “like” each other in order for your relationship to last, so compatibility is key.

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  • Annie

    I’m 41 years old and my husband has recently told me that he wanted out of the marriage and he actually left a few days later, after 21 years of marriage…
    …After the initial shock wore off and I was able to think straight…

    …I was able to persuade him to give me and the marriage another chance…
    …I had to wing it with only the strategies in the “save the marriage” book

  • Jazmine

    Most couples only think counseling is for AFTER the marriage, not before…because they think if they need counseling before the marriage, then they shouldn’t be getting married. Which MAY BE TRUE!! We would probably have a lower divorce rate if people did this. Good advice

  • Nikki

    Where I live, the marriage license fee is $30 more if you don’t go to pre-marital counseling. I think it’s a great way to discuss topics that make you uncomfortable, such as finances or grounds for divorce-if any. The marriage counselor might bring up something that you may have forgotten to talk about, like TV or no TV in the bedroom.