Ring Finger Getting A Little Lonely? 14 Legitimate Reasons Why He Hasn’t Proposed (At Least Not Yet!)

February 5, 2013  |  
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Ring Finger Getting A Little Lonely

You and your guy love each other. You’ve been dating for two years or more. You live together and split the bills — all of them. His parents love you and vice versa. You have a dog together and everything is basically his and hers, yet the ring still hasn’t come. Based on the way your relationship has been progressing, it’s clear that the next logical step would be a proposal, but it just hasn’t happened and you’re starting to get confused. Don’t worry just yet. Here are 14 legitimate reasons for why he hasn’t proposed to you.

He doesn't have enough money

He doesn’t have enough money

Engagement rings aren’t cheap to say the least. If you’re a girl looking to have a big rock on your finger, money may be the main issue here. It’s not easy to throw down a few thousand dollars on a ring without taking a huge hit to the bank account.

He wants to focus on his career

He wants to focus on his career

Just like we put a lot of focus and time into the relationship, men tend to put the same amount of effort into their career. Unless he has a solid spot in the workplace and has made a name for himself, he may be less inclined to propose to you. Men like having all of their ducks in a row before asking the question.

He thinks getting married will make you become someone different

He thinks getting married will make you become someone different

Guys hear all sorts of horror stories about how women change once they get married. You start focusing on different things. Your views on life change. The idea of you changing into someone completely different is a scary thought. Sometimes this is enough to make him second guess a proposal.

He's unsure about parenthood

He’s unsure about parenthood

Since proposals mean weddings and weddings often mean children soon after, your guy may not be ready to be a dad just yet. And since a proposal starts the whole chain of events, this could be why he hasn’t proposed yet. Some men don’t want to make a lifelong commitment to being with someone if they aren’t sure of their stance on parenthood.

Marriage seems boring to him

Marriage seems boring to him

We all love the feelings that come with a new relationship. There’s all sorts of excitement and anxiety during the honeymoon phase that some men don’t want it to end. Some guys have a fear of getting bored, and knowing that he’ll have to deal with you for decades to come may create feelings of boredom and monotony.

His parents' marriage didn't last

His parents’ marriage didn’t last

Divorce has a lasting toll on everyone who is affected by it. Seeing a marriage fail at any age can definitely leave a bad memory in the back of anyone’s mind. If your man’s parents divorced, the idea of marriage altogether may worry him and it can easily bring back old memories. The past can easily hold him back from popping the question.

He's afraid he'll have to let go of his dreams

He’s afraid he’ll have to let go of his dreams

A lot of men think that getting married definitely means that their dreams go out the window. They have the idea that they get married, have kids, and basically have no more time for themselves. Your guy may still have aspirations that he’s wants to accomplish before putting a ring on it.

He's not a big fan of weddings

He’s not a big fan of weddings

After any proposal a wedding is sure to follow, and while us women love the thought of a wedding, many men do not. For some guys, a wedding can be a complete turn off as the thought of you turning into a bridezilla is enough for him to hold off on the proposal. Let’s face it, weddings are really for the bride.

He's afraid of even more commitment

He’s afraid of even more commitment

We all know that plenty of guys out there have a fear of commitment. Even though he clearly has enough commitment to be your boyfriend, becoming your fiancee and then your husband is a whole new level of dedication. To put it simply, a proposal sets forth a huge undertaking, and your guy may just not be on that level of commitment.

He doesn't know how to ask you

He doesn’t know how to ask you

From the outside, a proposal is quite simple: he buys the ring you like and asks the question, right? In a guy’s mind, the proposal has to be special, unique, and one that is bound to make you cry. Some guys are completely clueless on how to propose to his girl without seeming overly obvious or cliche. Give him time to plan a proposal that’ll wow you.

He doesn't think you're ready

He doesn’t think you’re ready

Though some guys assume it, your man may not think that you’re ready yet, though he of course doesn’t have much say in the matter. Maybe he thinks you’re too busy with school or your career to even consider a proposal. An easy remedy to this is to have a talk and decide on a timeline that will work best for both of you.

He's not financially stable

He’s not financially stable

Maybe his job doesn’t pay a lot, he just started working, or he has some debt to pay off. Whatever it is, at the moment, you guy may not be as financially secure as he wants to be. Men want to have plenty of savings and a good flow of cash before proposing. When he’s financially stable, he knows that you, and the relationship, will be stable as well, especially when it comes to money.

He doesn't see the need to make you his wife

He doesn’t see the need to make you his wife

Even though this one may hurt you a bit, some guys are content with having a girlfriend, and they don’t have any desire for anything more. When you’ve been dating for years, your man is probably quite comfortable and he doesn’t want to change a thing. If this is the case, you may want to reconsider your relationship, especially if marriage is something you want.

His friends aren't engaged yet

His friends aren’t engaged yet

A lot of times men will follow in the footsteps of their friends, similar to women. If all of your friends are getting engaged or are married, you’ll more than likely have a stronger urge to follow suit. At the same time, if a majority of your guy’s friends are single and partying it up every weekend, marriage may be the last thing on his mind.

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  • Babydoll 70

    Why are there always 10 to 15 reasons for everything? geesh.

  • Some dudes while in school or working to move ahead in their field aren’t trying to get married. They are perfectly cool having a steady while they focus on getting their status and their paper right. Often times once they get ahead, their “steady” isn’t the one they see themselves with for the rest of their lives which why when they talked about their future plans i.e. “I would love to live in Italy one day” she isn’t included. They ditch her and marry/get engaged to someone new within a year or two. I’ve seen it countless times.

    I met my husband while we were in college. We dated for two years and were engaged for two years. He told me pretty early on that I was going to be his wife one day as soon as he had the means to provide. So that BS that he’s just too focused on his career or his money ain’t right is crap. Even if he doesn’t formally propose he will state his intentions to you and take measurable steps to follow through on those intentions.


    And with this bit of information, women must…..?!?

    • TRUTH IS

      Sound like lame @$$ excuses to me.

  • Breezy

    Alot of these are reasons I am not ready to get married yet and I am a women — focusing on career, having a significant amount of money saved, and not being sure about parenthood.

  • Breezy

    Alot of these are reasons I am not ready to get married yet and I am a women — focusing on career, having a significant amount of money saved, and not being sure about parenthood.

  • VaMay

    No offense, but some of these reasons seems like things that should be discussed before you get seriously involved in a relationship.

    • Patricia

      That is true. Those things should be discussed prior. As for a huge diamond ring, if the guy does not make that type of money to get you that 10 carat ring, he can’t do it. You cannot not pressure him to buy something that will put him in the poor house and struggling to makes payment the rest of his life. Women need to be realistic, It does not matter the size of the diamond, as long as the marriage last when two parties agree to work at it. It sad that you have women fixated on the size of the ring and just getting married. People getting divorce does turn a lot of men off. Just because somebody in your family, your friend got divorced that does not mean it is going to happen to you as I indicated if the two parties has to agree to work at the marriage. Also, I think most guys don’t want to get married because they come in a lot of money and work hard to keep it, they don’t want to pay out all that money in divorce settlement, alimony, or child support payments. If you live together or “shack up” your chances are slim if they guy will marry you because you are already living together as if they are married.

    • Star Marroquin

      Ur def right

  • Ms. Kameria

    I’m not wasting my life chasing after a ring. If it happens it happens. If it don’t, oh well.

    • If you do want to get married there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with making that known and more woman should do so. And not with an ultimatum by that point you’ve stayed way to long in a relationship without direction. Reserving some of yourself (like your credit, home, and uterus) for only a man who wants to wife you is a HUGE first step.

  • bluekissess

    MN enough with the list of a million reasons why: you shouldn’t get married, shouldn’t be a mother, shouldn’t talk to your man, shouldn’t be the angry black woman, shouldn’t have a career and be a mother.