Don’t Fall For The Game! 14 Ways to Spot A Player Right Off The Bat

January 29, 2013  |  
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We all know that some men can be as good as gold while others are the complete opposite. We’ve read about them in the media and heard about them from friends, and we all know that players are guys we want to avoid when it comes to the dating scene. To avoid getting burned, here are 14 tips to easily identify a player.

black woman socializing pf

His eyes are always on the move

We can’t walk around blindfolded and no one expects us not to notice an attractive individual when we’re out and about, but a player’s eyes are consistently wandering. When a player sees an attractive girl  it’s likely  he’ll lose complete focus on you and will have no type of cool about himself. Eyes will wander, but when wandering becomes consistent staring, there’s a problem.


Communication comes and goes

Not everyone can be glued to their phone but with a player you’ll quickly notice that communicating throughout the day is hit or miss. One day you’ll be texting back and forth for hours and the next day you don’t hear a peep from him. Inconsistent communication is a big red flag.

He sweet talks you immediately

Some guys are just naturally sweet but until there’s some sort of emotional connection, most guys aren’t calling you pet-names or ringing your phone to say goodnight. If the guy you like is calling you baby and whispers sweet nothing into your ear, it may all seem nice, but it’s a trick. He’s talking you into letting down your guard and hopefully getting into his bed.

"Couple flirting in the park pf"

He’s overly friendly and flirtatious with others

There isn’t a thing wrong with being nice to people and for some being friendly is just their personality. However, a player will make flirtation and friendliness his best known skill. Clearly he’s using flirtation to make sure every woman he meets remains a possibility.


He always keeps you waiting

Does the guy you’re interested in agree to a date but cancel at the last minute? When you do go on a date is he often late? Does he refuse to respond to emails and texts from you? If so, he clearly thinks you aren’t worth his time and his schedule comes first.


The answer to every question is “maybe”

He’ll maybe have time to see you tomorrow. He’ll maybe be able to come over and watch a movie for the night. When maybe becomes his go-to answer for nearly everything, maybe he’s a player. Okay, he most likely is a player.


His friends are unknown

He talks a lot about his friends, boys, and his guys, but you have no clue what their names are. With this lack of detail, he clearly wants to keep his life private and separate from you. This is a big sign that he doesn’t want to let you get too close.

"bored couple pf"

Your relationship is kept on the down-low

You don’t go out and do things publicly. When you drink you two are drinking at home. Eating a nice dinner doesn’t mean going to a restaurant but ordering from the local Chinese place. If your relationship is kept quiet and out of the public, he’s hiding you from something.


He has no interest in meeting your friends

When a guy wants something more than just a piece, as time progresses he’s interested in meeting your friends or maybe even your parents. If your guy has no desire to meet your friends or vice-versa, you’re probably just a temp girlfriend. There’s no need to introduce him to your friends and there’s no need for him to introduce you to his.

"black woman using laptop pf"

You aren’t friends online

Like many people these days, the guy you’re interested in probably has an account on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. You’d think that by being together, he’d want to become e-friends too. But, if you’ve tried friending him and been denied, he clearly doesn’t want to socialize out of the time he sets aside for you.

"Black man cell phone pf"

He still keeps in close touch with his ex girls

This guy has his ex girlfriends on speed dial. He talks to them on a weekly basis. He knows what his ex’s plans are. When a guy is really close to a lot of his ex girlfriends, it shows that he leaves on good terms, moves on quickly, and doesn’t have a clue what heartbreak is.


You’ve never been invited to his place

Dates are always out somewhere or at your place. When you ask to get to see where he lives, he sternly gives you the big N-O. His room and his place remains a complete mystery to you. When a guy down right refuses to let you have a peek of his crib, he’s hiding something.


He won’t answer the phone in front of you

Yes it’s rude to talk on the phone when you two are together but when the phone does ring, he takes the call to another room. Other times he’ll ignore the call saying it’s no one important. At the end of the day, he won’t talk on the phone with you around because it’s probably another girl on the line.


He only comes to see you late at night

Though you’ll take what you can get, having a guy that only wants to see you at ungodly hours of the night is problematic. He’ll come over after he goes to the bar with his boys. Time is nice but at the end of the night it’s all just a booty call.

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  • G

    This does not mean he is a player. It means he does not take you seriously and considers you a jumpoff.

  • Pingback: How to Spot a Player - Tips of Divorce()

  • Bright like a diamond

    Might I also add that “playas” are slicker than your average. I knew one who wanted to meet the parents and friends but still had almost all of the other qualities as well, SMDH!

  • YES gAWD

    Ok Madame noire…DO me this kindness…Put 1-14 on 1 page…and list these items. HOW overkill can you be to make your users click thru 14 pages for a cute (NON RELATED) PIC and one sentence. if you can put a NOVEL about Beyonce on 1 page then you can type 1-14 on a page. I wont be doing that again….thanks.

    And about the topic, Because I only got to page 6 before I was OVER IT. Ummm listen to the way a man talks and what he talks about. If his maturity level is LOW, and you are more in touch with talking about grown topics (not s3x) and all he can talk about is football, s3x, strippers, hos, and his friends…then chances ARE. He not really boyfriend/husband material. You may be on that same page and willing to grow, but if you are not, you will lose interest fast. If you are even interested at all. for me a man needs to talk about GOD, his goals in life, and his views on relationships, and things about himself. my opinion anyway.

  • Team nymphis

    Most of these things speak to a needy clingy insecure woman

  • Team nymphis

    Fems know a player when they see one.and they always think they’re the one to change me.but in the end it’s me that ain’t shxt.i keep telling them don’t make future plans with me.i get bored easily

    • Bright like a diamond

      Lol! That reminds me of the song by prince “I could never take the place of your man”

  • U can’t blame the playa nor the the game… Blame yourself for falling for the playa and his game!

  • Patricia

    He does not want to go in public and he wants to come to your house at night. I came across a bunch of they. Playas for show.

  • Patricia

    He does not want to go in public and he wants to come to your house at night. I came across a bunch of they. Playas for show.