Are You a Kenya Moore? 10 Signs You’re Desperate For Marriage

42 Comments
January 12, 2013 ‐ By Brooke Dean
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

1. You Settle Down Too Fast

Sure, we’ve all heard of love at first sight, but how often do we look across a crowded room and just “know” that we’ve met The One? Exactly…almost never. While courting is considered a lost art, the typical way we arrive in a relationship is by taking our time to actually get to know someone. But if you find that you want to be considered someone’s girlfriend after the first date, then you need to slow your roll. Relationships need time to develop and be nurtured so that a solid foundation of love, trust and respect can be built. Don’t rush it. You don’t want to wake up one day married to a stranger, and that’s assuming a man has gotten to the point of proposing. Trying to settle down with a guy too fast can also possibly push him away, so breathe and have fun getting to know him. If he’s the one, it won’t take long for both of you to know it.

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Kim Radik

    I don’t fit in any of these categories, simply because I am not desperate. :-)

  • Miyako

    Kenya Moore is far from a girl. She is almost 42-years-old.

  • Vandellish

    Marriage and family is cool and all but I don’t think it’s for everyone whether they want to do it or not. Simply put, everyone on this earth is not going to get married…and it’s ok. In a lot of ways meeting the right partner is really just a freakin’ crapshoot and those who have found their partner should feel extremely blessed.

  • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

    Just a little hint, young ladies if you want to be a wife and get married
    don’t wait until you get 30years of age,
    find your potential husband before you and him leave college, you must carry
    your self and communicate that you are pro marriage and want to be a wife and
    have a family, cut the independent mindset and embrace the interdependent
    mindset!

  • Sagittarius81

    My cousin is 25 and she has 3 kids (2 girls and 1 boy by 2 men) and every men she’s been with she neglects her own kids needs and wants and cater to her man, so she can get a ring. According to her 7 year old daughter she told her grandmother that she feeds her man first before her and her siblings. She even said that her mom would bring home food from Panda Express and Panera Bread for her and her man and the kids get canned spaghetti and Banquet dinners. My Aunt, (kids’s grandma) and her husband went to court and got custody of her kids last week because their mom brought her man Jordans and clothes and brought the kids but only 3 Family Dollar toys and they got 1 each and her man would cuss those kids out when they want attention from their mother. I hate it when single parents neglect their kids for some man because they don’t want to be alone.

    • Miss K

      Reading this story makes me so sad….for the kids….for your cousin….for the man who would take advantage of a situation like that. The really sad part is that both he and your cousin propbably [not necessarily] grew up in homes where they felt neglected as children = craving attention as adults.

  • http://twitter.com/PhoenixRose360 PhoenixRose360

    11) Do you love yourself? Because when you truly love yourself, you will recognize your worth, not settle and not pressure anyone, and believe in the natural order of life. If it’s meant to be, it will be, forcing a man to marry you is a sure fire way for future heartache.

  • Pingback: Are You a Kenya Moore? 10 Signs You’re Desperate For Marriage | THEFRT.COM()

  • Lina

    I’m so glad I was the opposite of everything on this list not that I was playing hard to get but this sounds real… desperado lol The again I was only 19 he was 26 he came on to me pretty heavy with plans to settle down, start a family etc I told him slow down dude give me time to discover myself, have fun and enjoy my new freedom (just moved out of my parents’) and get a degree first and then we can talk marriage. Thank God he listened and stopped huslling me, 5 years later he proposed last summer we’re getting married this October AND graduating at the same time lol I almost broke up with him 7 months after getting together cos I just couldn’t handle that pressure. So I understand a man being put in that situation by a woman who can’t wait to tie him down it’s very frustrating.

  • ncntrol

    I refused to click through all those pages, but here are two biblical truths, 1. a man finds a wife 2. A man was created to love his wife unconditionally, a woman is only to respect her husband. I know that sounds odd, but I think the biggest misconception women have about marriage is that its supposed to be about love

  • Meyaka

    Every woman deserves to find a man that makes her happy,even the desperate ones. I will say thought Kenya is 40 something,she probably spent her 20s and 30s building a career so maybe she never considered marriage until now and that’s why she comes across as desperate.

    • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

      And she might be a little used up, now she is hard up and want someone to claim her.

      • Miyako

        There is no such thing as a person being ‘used up’, True Letterson aka The Burning Bush.

        • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

          Oh yes it is believe you me used up, let other men or women defile your body and mind now you think a good man should love and take care of you, stay sick not in good health, burned out, wore slam out, your best years behind you, got to many ailments, can’t reproduce, done gave your best years to someone else, and that split between women legs is used up and no more good, etc. that’s what men mean when we say used up! aka Trueletterson and The Bruning Bush you got me down……

  • Pingback: Are You a Kenya Moore? 10 Signs You’re Desperate For Marriage - EyeOnCelebs()

  • Tudbee

    ”Are you a Kenya Moore?”……Really MN? Come on now. We’ve all shamed her enough and sure she’s embarrassed enough by all her on air antics and the backlash she’s gotten over it. Let it go.

  • KIR12

    Typical attractive black woman who’s now over 30. Can’t understand why men aren’t responding to her they way they did in her 20’s. Now you want to get married? What in the heII have you been doing the last 10 or 20 years? The logic and narrative of black women who want to get married (don’t settle & have fun wait until your 30’s to look for a husband) is extremely flawed. It doesn’t add up to the actual reality of millions of black women over 30 who desperately want to get married but can’t find a “good” husband. They end up with half the man they could of had in their 20’s or no man at all for a variety if reasons ( limited avail options, kids, age weight, attitude, set in their ways, baggage, ect…), The majority of these women had multiple “good” men pursuing them in their 20’s who they ignored or rejected. Men they’d marry in a heartbeat today if they could. Who’s to blame?

    I’m not saying over 30 women aren’t desirable but her preference Mr Perfect….30’s, successful, attractive fun…. and his preference are not the same. That’s one of the reasons men respond differently to women over 30. His preference is a younger looking “you”. He might marry you but he’s definitely settling on the age point.

    • Meyaka

      This.

    • CaintPlayAPlaya

      I didn’t even bother watching this Sad Reflection on the State of Black Love on television, but can guarantee ya that her most-fatal error was even informing her that David’s Bridal commercials make her weak in the knees. As I stated above, my stomach is protesting with nausea at how pathetic sisters on this ‘put a ring on it, dammit!’ BS make Us look as a whole. Time to escape this article. TTYL!

      • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

        Nothing wrong with wanting to get married it’s natural she like you and most of the so call strong and independent sisters were put to sleep by black feminist myth that gave you a negative view of marriage [you don’t need no man cause you can do it all by your self, how stupid and foolish is that] when you were young now she have woke up and found out how stupid and foolish she was and found out what is missing in her life!

        • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

          You have the mantra twisted. It was created to empower women who were: getting their azz kicked on the regular by their husbands, being cheated on repeatedly by their husbands, were in verbally, and emotionally abusive relationships with their husbands and either couldn’t or wouldn’t leave due to financial and societal pressures.

      • Miyako

        But this show is scripted, so how much are you willing to believe?

    • Yaya

      Well, here’s the flip side. Many of those women who decided to get married in their 20’s are now divorced and single in their 30’s. So who’s to say that those 30 something women who focused on their careers instead of their ring fingers wouldn’t have ended up single anyway..

      • KIR12

        This is part of the insidious nature of the extreme left ideology and black feminist myths. There are plenty of white and non black women with with degrees who have gotten married in their twenties and doing well in their careers.

        Here’s the truth. Over 80 percent of black women don’t have a bachelor’s degree! Only 18 percent of black women have a degree and many of those degrees non business, non engineering non science degrees. Many are in liberal arts such as psychology, sociology ect. The black feminist myths of waiting and devaluing marriage has trickled down to many young black girls out of h.s. with zero interest in furthering their education many with no job or working menial jobs such as cashiers at Walgreens or admin assistants. Many of these young women are in poverty or living check to check and think that they can also wait until they’re out of their prime (30’s) many now with kids to find a “good” husband. Good luck with that! lol

        Yes the divorce rate is 50% but the separation rate for black baby mamas has got to be close to 90%. We know black men don’t don’t with their black baby mamas.

        • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

          Bravo your comment are right on point, I have been making comments like this for years on black blogs hoping to wake the sisters up hoping they will stop being use by white liberals trying to prove their fail social exsperment call feminisem, you can be independent all you want but it is foolish and stupid to think you can party hard, do what you want and get used up by god knows who and then when you are tired and out of your prime some good man will want you to be his wife.

          • Miyako

            But yet, men are allowed to act like children well into their 30s, sleep with hundreds of women, party hard, do what they want, and then when they are tired and out of their prime, some good woman will want him to be her husband.

            • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

              Yes exactly.

            • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

              Wise up,wise men and women know that a women can’t do everything a man do and still be a honored women as well as a man can’t do everything a women do and still be a respectable man that’s natural wise up and start thinking then you can make some sense of this mess and stop always looking for a gender fight
              .

          • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

            False! what is ‘used up’? I never understand why MEN feel like they should be preaching to women about what they ought to be doing. It belies a certain b*tchazzness to me. Focus on men and those little boys and preach to them about how they ought to be wrapping their little pickles up so they don’t have to worry about catch something penicillin won’t kill and won’t catch a child support order or two before their 30.

        • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

          This is true. Sadly so. The narrative needs to be. Get a career before you have children period! Its not all doom and gloom like you postulate nor is the logic of waiting to get married 100% flawed. What’s flawed is having kids before you are financially sound and or married. Thats the fast track to poverty and welfare.

          • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

            Bravo you are right on point.

          • Miyako

            True. And once one falls into poverty, it is not easy to get out of.

    • Miyako

      You repeat this same ageist non-sense on every article about dating and relationships.

      • KIR12

        Someone has got to tell the truth.

        • Miyako

          Someone does, but it isn’t you who is doing so.

          • KIR12

            Why don’t you tell us what exactly I’ve said that is untrue

    • Ms_Sunshine9898

      It never could be that she was working on her career, and heard the time ole message, “you have your whole life ahead of you, enjoy your 20s” . . .

  • Sharon

    Brooke, this is great especially number 8. You need to send the #8 to all women who has that mentality. These people really need this particular one. I wish women realize that having a baby is not going to make the man marry you. It is really sad that you have women that is actually doing this. You cannot change a man by having his child. It is up to man to make the decision if he wants to change and get married. All the other ones are true. There is nothing wrong is mentioning like you said of wanting to get married, you don’t need to bring it up in every conservation and that can send the man running. Most men know when they are ready to get married and it does not take them 5, 10, 15, 20 years to decide. You have these women who nag the gusy to death on getting engaged or married they just put the ring on the woman’s finger to shut her up so the man can have some kind of peace of hearing it all the time. You cannot make somebody marry you. Please take heed to these women. Somebody need to send this to Kenya. She may not read and abide by it, but she definitely need this.

  • http://twitter.com/VictoriaGrooves Victoria grooves

    No I’m not and I don’t even need to click through

    • rt

      Lol,right!!

    • CaintPlayAPlaya

      I was too digusted after reading the 1st page to impatiently click through this articles ‘indicating factors’. I WOULD take out the time to hip some of these desparate chics to the Game…..but it’s more fun to be at the top of the Food Chain…with all sorts of men asking what’s up with MY Size 5 ring finger cuz I actually know the Deal and the (surprisingly easy) “Secret” to gettin em open. Most females are simply selling themselves shorter than a midget on crutches – because they’re afraid to ‘be alone’. So long as they emanate that desparate Energy is as long as they will continue to suffer…..to the delight of all Sociopaths, bums, mooches, and dirty-d–k fothermuckers!

      • Miyako

        “Most females are simply selling themselves shorter than a midget on crutches – because they’re afraid to ‘be alone'”

        What kind of females? Female birds? Female chickens? Female snakes?