Read This Before You Trust ANY Man!

11 comments
October 22, 2010 ‐ By madamenoire

 

Scenarios written by China Okasi

 

Responses written by Anthony Jerrod


 

Sisters, we should own up to our poor choices in men.



You wanna date thugs or chase after the fancy boys who are really jacked up inside and wind up jacking you up in the process of all that shady loving they’re offering. Then, after you’re all emotionally scarred and embittered by your ill-conceived excuses for men, you start getting blinded to the good dudes that do come your way afterwards! What gives? What are y’all going through? Come on! Take it from me, there is a time to NOT trust a man’s skanky behind, but there’s ALSO a time to let down your bags, like Erykah Badu said, and give a brotha some trust. Flip through the following scenarios as Anthony and I break it down so it can forever and consistently be broke*

Trrrrust me!

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  • asha13

    I made a personal vow to myself to never date an athlete, musician, and any other celeb or non-celeb because I have heard too many cases of infidelity among that group and the last thing I want is to a man's "baby mama".

  • ken ken

    trust is earned and should not just be given to someone of rip. that applies in all aspects of life…

    it still bites us in the butt that thing called life where we do let are guard down and end up hurt. the key is i guess to move on from that . even if you decide to stay with some one who took your trust for granted that person must regain trust. It is so true that some woman don't know what they want so it is horrible when a good man is scared to commit and treat his woman like a queen because he believes that treating her to good will lead her in the arms of the guys that neglect, disrespect and take them from granted. Its scary but it does happen.

    Time and experience with some one should determine trust. Love may come before trust alot of times that does happen because Love is great and feels good but trust is the glue so once the pieces are put together love, commitment,and respect then the trust will stick these together with everlasting glue…

    Trust Love ..one without the other is a disaster ;-)

  • WTF IS WRONG WIT YAL

    LADIES LADIES LADIES….THIS IS A MALE 24…TRUST HAS BEEN AN ISSUE IN MY OLD RELATIONSHIP AND THE ONE I HAVE NOW!…IM A NICE GUY,…. WIT MY 1ST REAL GF OF 1 1/2 YEARS WE WAS GOOD BUT I WAS TOLD I WAS TOOOO SOFT BY HER…AS N ALWAYS NICE, PUTTING HER BEFORE MYSELF….GIVING HER MONEY LIKE EVERDAY WHEN EVER SHE SAID "I NEED MY HAIR DONE OR IM HUNGRY" AND I WAS JUS A REAL PUSH OVA CUZ SHE MADE IT DOE SHE NEVER REALLY ASKED BUT EXPECTED AND IF I SAID NO SHE WOULD HAVE ATTITIUDE…..I MEAN SHE LOVED ME N WE HAD GREAT TIMES, SHE HAD MY BACK WOULD HELP ME THRU WATEVER…FUN PERSON TO BE AROUND BUT LONG STORY SHORT….BEING TOOOO NICE N TOOO TRUSTING…. SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO MESS WIT DUDES SHE USE TO MESS WIT N CHEAT ON ME WIT DUDES DAT DID NUTTIN FOR HER…….NOW I UNDERSTAND IT WAS MY FAULT CUZ IF I WAS MORE OF AN AZZZWHOLE LOSER TYPE…SHE WOULD HAVE NEVA LEFT….YALL FEMALES BE WANTING DUDES WHO HAS DAT AZZZWHOLE N EM OR YALL JUS NOT SAITISFIED…..BUT N E WAY SHE DIDNT CARE BECAUSE TO HER I WAS SOFT N E WAYS FA BEING A GUD DUDE….LONG STORY SHORT I STARTED CHEATING TOO!!! NO REGRETS….W E ENDED BAD AS WE BOTH KNEW WE WAS CHEATING ON EACH OTHER…./////SO YEA TRUST IS AN ISSUE…..AND HAS CAME OVA TO MY NEW RELATIONSHIP….HARD FA ME TO TRUST HER COMPLETELY!! SHE IS GUD TO ME DOE N I GUD TO HER…I JUS LEARNED FROM DA 1ST TO NOT BE A PUSH OVE, TO BE SOMEWHAT AN AZZZWHOLE N MY NEW GURL OVE ME DEEPLY BEEN TOGETTER FOR 3 YEARS….SO YEA ITS START WITH THE PERSON!! U HAVE TO KNO WHAT U WANT N NEED N DEN U HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN MEET DAT…IF DEY CANT U HAVT O DECIDE IF U CAN STILL WORK WIT IT OR LEAVE IT ALONE…MY NEW SHAWTY HAS PROBLEMS LIKE THE 1ST ONE BUT I UNDERSTAND THESE PROBLEM THRU TALKIN AND JUS TIME SPENT….I LEARNED TO COPE WIT SUM OF THESE PROBLEMS AND SHE KNOWS MY PROBLEMS AND SHE IS LEARNING HOW TO COPE…RELATIONSHIPS TAKE A LOT OF COMPROMISE….NO ONE IS REALLY PERFECT FOR THE OTHER THEY HAVE TO COMPROMISE TO MAKE IT WORK…IF DEY DONT WANT TO COMPROMISE THEN THEY DONT REALLY WAN MAKE IT WORK!!!!!!!!! BUT LADIES JUS STOP BEING STUPID!!! LADIES UHAVE ALL THE POWER…I WAS TRYNA EXPLAIN THIS TO MY SHAWTY LAST NIGHT!! U DONT HAVE TO OPEN YA LEGS IF U DONT WANT!! WE DUDES WANT YOU!!! WE WILL TAKE U OUT!! WE WILL BUY U STUFF!! N ALL WE WANT IS WATS BETWEEEN DEM LEGS!! U DONT HAVE TO JUS GIVE IT UP MAKE HIM WAIT TIL U SEE HIS REAL COLORS, SEE HE REALLY DUR FA U!! IF HE STR8 LEVAVE U HE WAS NEVA DUR FA U!!! JUS USE YA DAM HEAD!! I MEAN WTF….YALL CAN WALK DOWN THE STREET N HAV ALL THE DUDES ALLL ON YA AZZZZ TRYNA HOLLA…IF U FEEL SUMTHING NOT RIGHT DONT DO IT…ITS DAT SIMPLE….N E WAY I JUS WANTED TO SHARE HOW I FEEL FROM MY EXPERIENCE….ITS A LOT OF NICE DUDES OUT DUR…SUM DUDES R DOGS BUT CAN STILL DO RIGHT IF DEY RESPECT U LADIES!! IF U NOT GETTING RESPECT FROM A DUDE DEN LEAVE EM!!! I NO ITS HARD TO FIND GUD DUDES BUT JUS KEEP LOOKING…I NO IM A GUD DUDE AND IVE DONE WRONG BUT I STILL AM GUD TO MY LADY N TREAT HER LIKE A QUEEN….I JUS KNO NOT TO BE A PUSH OVA CUZ YALL DONT RESPECT DAT SHHHHHHHTT N I JUS UNDERSTAND MORE…STILL EVERYDAY IS A LEARNING PROCESS BUT YEA JUS WANTED TO SHARE ( IM AT WORK ) …. ;)

    • Bill

      "Caps Lock" is the one above "Shift". You need to press it once more.

  • Ghana

    WOW!! @ chaztity

    Why do you blame black men for all of your problems?

    'They try to destroy you mind body and soul at every chance they get and wonder why you are bitter'…sorry my love only you can make yourself bitter. A strong woman would rise up and realise that he was ONE guy id been with that was no good, dust off her shoulder and keep on.

    'Black men' (we are a collective now, not individuals) do not hate black women, please do not blame your self-esteem issues on black men. STOP looking at black men being your saviour to all the obstacles, endevours or prejudice you face as a black woman in todays society and start with the person in the mirror.

    If you want a 'good' brotha be that 'good' sista, because you'll only attract 'that kind' of brotha with negative mind set you have of all black men. So even if a good guy did come along your mindset and bitterness wont allow you to be successful in relationships.

    You cannot be a nickle looking for a dime.

    BTW great article!

  • Oh.No.i.Didn't!

    Ok.. so, I agree w/ most of these responses from Ant. Thanks for your POV. I don't think I mesh well with a guy who has tendances & speaks almost like me and wears lip gloss though.. Not lip balm because it's cold.. Straight up Revlonnnn.. lol. Nothing wrong with a man who keeps it groomed though. :).

  • chaztity

    I did not read the entire article. I immediately started thinking about my own life after reading this first page. I am also intoxicated and depressed and I am sure you all will find my writing comedic, rahter stupid, but this is how I feel right at this moment.

    I have a fortress around me for good reason because uit seems as though the moment I trust someone, they take me as weak and they want to hurt and destroy me. I believe most black men secretly hate black women to the core and they hate themselves in the process. They are incapable of loving anyone. they want to self destruct. They have no respect for themselves or the women af their race. They can't love you, they won't respect you. Black men arfe the worst kind of racist. They hate black women..secretly. White people are racist and they hate and fear black people in general so I don't encourage black women to date outside of their race and date white men. We are living in the last days. Black women are feared by everybody including your black men. They try to destroy you mind body and soul at every chance they get and wonder why you are bitter. Blackwomen take a lot fo crap off of black men and go through a lot of changes and continue to stand by these people and stand up for them no matter what. Black men play this game and they try tomake it seem like black women are not supportive. Black women are overly supportive and have been since the beginning of time. Black men are mindphucking you. I say don't trust them, don't let down your fortress. Black men do not really like you, or respect you, they fear you as much as white people do. Black men love white people more than they love themselves, they will kil themselves for them. They do it everyday. Erica Baduh said give a brotha some trust but this is the same women who has like multiple baby daddies. Why would you listen to her. I am not saying dont date black men, I am saying be very careful, keep your guards up for good reason. We are living in the last days , no one should create any more children in this world anyhow.

  • Chris

    Great article. Do one regarding female friendships and trust.

  • Charese Martin

    Good material. Look forward to reading more articles like this.

  • Umjussayin

    Sounds like if you trust your heart over time and ask genuine questions about love, life & REALity you eventually find what your looking for… just make sure your thinking potential… "I may not make it with you to the mountain top…"

  • Morris

    Great article! Love the intelligent exchanges between the both of you!

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