Girl, Take It To The Grave! 9 Secrets That Are Okay to Keep From Your Man

107 Comments
December 15, 2012 ‐ By Brooke Dean

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1. Your Best Sex

If your best sex wasn’t with your current partner, there’s no need to tell him that. You’ve got to know that, right?If he asks you if he was, simply say, “Awww babe, you know I love you” and hopefully that’ll distract him. If he doesn’t fall for it, I see no reason why telling a little fib will hurt. Men have fragile egos, so stroke it. Nothing good can come from telling him that he wasn’t your best and while some men may use that bit of information as incentive to get better, others may be secretly annoyed that you didn’t lie to save his feelings. I look at it like this: your ex is an ex for a reason no matter how great the sex was. You love your new beau so that should make him your best, right? Okay, maybe not, but you know what I mean. Just go with it.

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  • TyraLove

    I agree with this list. These types of things will certainly scare a man off. A few ladies must have not read thoroughly because the past is the past and unless it affects your bf he doesn’t have to know.

  • BIGwalt

    You forgot to ask number 10: Have she ever sold some punany ?

  • Whitefang

    Yeah,I would wana know if my fiancee is a slore or not.That would answer why the gasman,milkman,mailman ,poolboy,baggage boy and repairman all got smirks on their face.Yo if she a freak, I would put that goldmine azz to work and we can both profit..

  • David Ostend

    You must be single or have a horrible track record in relationships. The whole time I’m reading this I’m like #wheredeydodatat oo yeah, West Ratsville

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  • Grave Flower

    As well all know, the best way to start (and maintain) a healthy, happy, loving relationship is to keep secrets from the start. We, as women, have the audacity to complain about men being lying scumbags, and here we are, basically saying that it’s perfectly okay for us to do what we so loudly (and frequently) claim to hate.

    Way to be hypocrites! You must be so proud!

  • http://twitter.com/Sandytoes812 sandytoes

    I agree with keeping debt, previous STDS, information about ex’s and “toy” collection secret. But I do not agree with the rest. Secrets like affairs, sex partners ect… are the reason why dating is so screwed up.

  • Niciana

    Honestly, I’m a female & I dont give into the double standard mess & look at both guys and girls as equal. With that being said, if a girl hooks up with 40 guys, I would look at her just the same as a guy that hooked up with 40 girls. My significant other BETTER be honest from day 1 or else!!! I also feel that I am very secure with myself, but I still will look at my boyfriend as a skeezer, just off the simple fact that I havent been with a lot of people. Girls who take men who’ve been with a lot of women, are girls who’ve also have been with a lot of men, and vice versa. Its no such thing as saving anybody from their past or present, it is just timing. A person “calms” down when they are ready to. But its BEST to be honest about everything, because you would want your partner to do the same. I’m just sayinggggg

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  • Kish

    I hope this article is only in relations to a VERY non-serious relationship. Because out of this list, the only thing I wouldn’t tell my partner is my best sex (unless it was them)–I wouldn’t want to hurt them. But STDs, Abortions, etc, I would because I would them to tell me… The more open the better the relationship.

  • u mad?

    why would your partner need to know most of this information? I’m sure if you have negative thoughts about this article you’re probably a man but let’s say a female got it on and popping in college went through thirty dudes but is std/sti free and then moves to a new town why does her new partner need to know she had an abortion by a previous guy and how many partners she had that info is totally irrelevant this is a great article!!

  • Ai

    Keep in mind that if you’re keeping these secrets, expect your mate to do the same.

  • David

    This is all horrible advice. And people wonder why half of all marriages fail…

  • http://www.facebook.com/Fluttersteke Alicia Winowiecki

    If you want a REAL relationship, its best to be honest. Who the hell wrote this article? Some of these things is just downright insulting, if you keep from your man.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Fluttersteke Alicia Winowiecki

    If you want a REAL relationship, most of this stuff is important to discuss. Really, who wrote this article? Failing to come clean about some of these things is just downright insulting to your partner.

  • Dee

    This is absolutely a sad, and poorly written article by a woman that made too many wrong choices. I am offended because said writer “thinks” half that has been mentioned is “normal”, and that all women have engaged (ummmm, NOT). And who wants to build a solid relationship on lies, the SAME thing women complain about, I mean, really! Your past can and normally does catch up to you, please don’t lie ladies. And not all of us have had abortions, affairs, STDs or ridiculous high amount of sexual partners. Be proud of who you are regardless, there is someone for everyone. What writer FAILED to list is you can find out someone’s debt and criminal record with a few clicks on the net, and it is free as well (hello, court records, d’uhhhhh). STD is a tricky one, but wouldn’t you want to know if your partner has herpes or warts???? And an abortion, lady you DO know each woman and her body is different, many struggle to conceive BECAUSE of abortions, so that can come to light as well. Don’t dig a grave for yourself if you found mister right, half this stuff is covered in the dating stages anyways, your character will speak volumes. Terrible advice.

  • LiiSH

    I agree that this list applies only in short-term dating situations. (For serious relationships) Things regarding sexual health and that blatantly let a person know what kind of woman you are and the kinds of mistakes/ bad decisions you have redeemed yourself from should never be hidden. If he is the right man, you won’t feel you have to. Growth is admirable. A strong, secure, mature man will understand that past decisions are not all you are. I have been that girl who had to answer for my past in a relationship with somebody who didn’t understand. It hurt at the tie to be judged but I am so happy to have moved on from that situation that wan’t right.

  • Golden

    Not the best advice. Everybody makes mistakes, but mistakes surely look worse when you cover them up from someone you expect to be honest with you. There were 6-7 things on that list that I found out about women just because nothing is really hidden any more. Honesty is the best policy. Something even better than that is thinking about something before you do it and ask yourself will you be ashamed to tell folks about it later. If so, dont do it.

  • Courtney

    And I doubt you know anything about the author to make such a stupid statement. If a man asks all these things, then I’m assuming we’re serious, and the author clearly says that unless you’re married or in a serious relationship, then these are things he doesn’t need to know. Since you want to comment on the author, maybe you should READ THOROUGHLY what she wrote first.

  • courtney

    It’s clear people don’t read. In the article, she clearly says, unless you’re a registered sex offender, committed murder or armed robbery….then that shoplifting charge you got when you were 12 can stay in the past – I’m paraphrasing. So the comment you made about holding up a bank would fall under armed robbery…in which case you should tell your partner about your criminal past. It seems people are just reading the headlines and not anything that comes after it. SMH. Reading is fundamental people.

    • Speaker of Truth

      You got a good point. People don’t read, they just go on the headlines. This is a known fact. So don’t put stupid headlines out there! Don’t encourage people to hide big issues like debt or abortion from your partner!

      And if you do read… ” either need to dump him for a more adventurous, more secure partner…or keep them under lock and key”… I’m sorry, but that’s just saying “do what you want to do, and if your partner doesn’t agree, dump him of hide what you’re doing…” How is THAT a healthy relationship? How is that going to last ’till death do us part’?

      Just saying…

  • PandorazBox

    You get a Pass (like Brandon Hall) – since it’s clear that you’re actually just trying to understand Us. I don’t even necessarily agree with most of what you’ve written above, but I refuse to ‘get into it’ with any menfolk on a friggin website! I have plenty of notches in my belt from having had to do so with your male counterparts in REAL life who are intimidated by such an opinionated person such as myself. If you really see it as justifiable to expect a female who’s not your wife to divulge every detail of her past….tough crap. The only reason a man’s entitled to be privy to a female’s sexual past is if 1. a baby or 2. an incurable STD occured from such….and if you intend to have monogamous and unprotected sex with her. Otherwise in the words of Salt n Pepa: “It’s None of Yo Business!” Take it easy. We are not the Enemy. You, Brandon, and Limp Lame came HERE. Ain’t y’all got mothers/sisters/female friends in REAL life?

  • Cee

    Is it just me or is this list really disconcerting? I am not feeling comfortable with what showed up!

  • dlws8607

    In other words, females, don’t take any responsibility for the things you have done in the past. So typical of females.

  • http://www.facebook.com/loving.song.1 Loving Song

    basically… Don’t tell him sh!#

  • yep

    brook deen get another job….skank!!!

    • jasmine

      You’re an A*hole. What do YOU do for a living? People are jerks…especially you.

    • jasmine

      You’re an A*hole. What do YOU do for a living? People are jerks…especially you.

  • SouljaSociety

    Whatever number of men a woman says she’s been with, always multiply by 2, then subtract 2. So if a chick say she been with 2 guys, she’s usually telling the truth.. If she says she slept with 4 guys (which is a lot in my book…Hell 1 is enough…) that means she slept with 6 guys. Just keep that in mind fellas… I always tell the girl I’m with the truth… I’ve had sex with 2 regular girls and over 30 escorts. Proud of it too… And tested negative for everything

    • Miss Anonymous

      Umm thats not something to be proud of…… Shoot my uncle is a big whoremongerer and admits it too, his wife is always happy how she “caught him” and not the other women he sleeps with while their married. We look at her and shake our heads cause you obviously cant fix stupid.

  • bishop

    This article is stupid and misleading. In the heading it says “take it to the grave”…I’m guessing between meeting him/her and going to the grave, you’ll probably get married/have children/or become exclusive. So you need to share most of these things to your partner in between those two timelines I mentioned earlier. Journalism/writing 101, don’t say something because it sounds nice to the ear. It can be misleading. This article should have been aptly named. “9 things to never share with your boyfriend”…Not as glamorous, but accurate.

    • jasmine

      Most times, they just use a title that’ll grab you and get you to read it – that’s also Writing 101.

    • jasmine

      Most times, they just use a title that’ll grab you and get you to read it – that’s also Writing 101.

  • PandorazBox

    I’d usually go WAY in on you (and your fellow Male Compadres who feel a need to BE on this site…let alone negate or refute an article made BY Women…FOR Women)….but something’s tellin me you’re actually just trying to Understand Us. I’m thoroughly convinced EVERYTHING in this article should be addedum’d in the Scriptures for today’s woman to follow; PLUS one more: “If you consider [fill-in-blank-with-name-of-Other-Man] attractive”. A wise woman knows that the most insecure of ‘the 2 of us’ IS men. Admit it. You ain’t on this site as a homework assignment now, is ya?

  • PrettyNotPetty

    TMI WARNING*** I remember I told my (now ex) boyfriend about my vibrating “toy” and he didn’t speak to me for 2 days lol and then when I asked him what was wrong he said he didn’t want to talk about it. o_O I thought guys were into kinky guess not lmao

    • Miss Anonymous

      lol I guess he didnt know what to do with it. He could used that one to his advantage like my boyfriend does me. SMH I wish I never would have opened that box. lmbao!!!

  • wepo1

    Paternity if you are a black woman!

  • MissAmerica

    I agree with the list.

  • CriticXtreme

    This is sending out the wrong signals. Real dude only want to hit that arse then on to the next one. Weird dudes when they hear this ish, would cry then mostly murk the fem. The important ones these days are your credit score, AIDs/HIV status and they you’re not a dude.

  • Opinonated

    Trust me, as ratchet as this advice sounds, I must agree. I used to tell everything to be honest and at some point, my partners began to throw all of my truth in my face. My truth want ratchet just stuff that men’s ego’s cannot handle over time – JUST LIKE THE ARTICLE STATES.
    If you think the article is ridiculous, you just haven’t had this happen to you yet.

    • PandorazBox

      Like I said…..out the ‘the 2 of us’ – MEN are the MOST INSECURE! Anything you divulge can and will be used against you….possibly to the point of them snapping and/or killing you.

      • Alana

        I agree with this article 100%, the sad, sad truth is that most men can’t handle the truth, they prefer their women to have unblemished past and like to think that he is the be all and end all of her existence. I tried the 100% truth thing and let’s just say it didn’t work for me. Whenever we got into an argument, it came up, whenever he wanted to justify his bs, it came up. He just never looked at me the same, I realized that and took it as a lesson learn. Needless to say, we’re not together anymore. Although he might have just been a douche, I won’t take that chance again. Some things are better left between me and my Heavenly Father. NOTHING from my past can have an impact on a future relationship other than the man’s opinion of it, and as such I shall leave it where it belongs — years behind me. :)

  • Opinonated

    Trust me, as ratchet as this advice sounds, I must agree. I used to tell everything to be honest and at some point, my partners began to throw all of my truth in my face. My truth want ratchet just stuff that men’s ego’s cannot handle over time – JUST LIKE THE ARTICLE STATES.
    If you think the article is ridiculous, you just haven’t had this happen to you yet.

  • JettMane

    2. NUMBER OF SEX PARTNERS, this is why i’ll only marry and spend money on virgins and just have sex with all the rest, non virgin women are like used cars.

    • EatCrap

      You have some nerve. You’re lower than scum, and it’s time you admit it. An a-hole comment like bespeaks a poorly-endowed insecure loser who HAS to pay someone to even lay down with ya! You wanna marry a virgin because you know she’ll have nothing prior to your coupla inches to compare to…..and inevitably MISS. You’re the used car, with no ‘vroom’ in his engine. I hope you marry a liar who cheats on you left and right!

    • Miss Anonymous

      But what if the virgin doesnt want a used car though?

      • zee

        ^^THIS!!

    • Alana

      Really?? LOL! Do you then sir.

  • http://Humblebee102.tumblr.com/ HumbleBee102

    If you both go and get tested together then the results you receive are all that matters. Especially if its been done routinely. If that person seems hesitant to go then you can probably assume they’ve been getting it in a lot or have been with someone who’s health is in question. I think it’s too forward and naive to just come out and ask how many partners, or their sexual history. Because people will LIE if its a high number & ASKING about their std history is silly- Get proof! don’t go off what people say because there’s a lot of people who really don’t know their health status but will still say “hell yeah of course I’m clean!” Thank God I found the guy whom i would later refer to as my husband while we were still pretty young and innocent because dating looks exhausting lol.

    • SMDH

      This is the worst time in history to ‘date’! I’m 32, and slowly resigning myself to raising my kids alone and maybe having a wedding in my 40s after they’re outta high school. If I even still desire men, that is. I’m tired. You’re lucky!

  • nayo

    LMAO these are TOTALLY things you need to tell your partner……. maybe not a boyfriend, but definitely anyone you’re going to marry.

  • http://twitter.com/MizzJazzyPeach J Mc

    Reading is fundamental people. This is a list for those who are dating and the relationship has yet to become serious. The author even went into details of each scenario and whether it’s a time to tell the truth or just keep it to your self.

  • wizdom

    Ha! U ppl don’t even read! She clearly explained EVERY scenario! BEST ADVICE EVER. There is NO need to divulge these things even after marriage. But only the wise women know that. But once again too many ppl have sex first n ask questions later so of course this freaks ppl out. Thank God im Muslim. No sex before marriage n def no KIDS! Ppl have no idea how to court anymore. 6m-1yr of getting to kno each other n there should be planning of marriage or MOVE THE HELL ON. We have one life to live. Its unreal how women go on sleeping n shackn up with men who ve made NO marriage proposal.

    So what this article also shows is that ppl have soo much to hide that they have to make a list of it. This is a moral issue. Ladies no wedding no womb and no goodies. And forb those of u who will say well u can waitv till marriage n still get screwed over..well life is always full of risk. But at least u will respect urself. N if you marry a man for his character n work ethic n not for swag n his good hair then ur odds of success are 1000k higher! Goodnight!

    • SheBe

      Love it! Thank you!!!!!

  • Delora

    This advice is the worst!

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  • Kaori

    Now, this list is ‘weird’.

  • Drew Smith

    SMH @ this list. You better hide; most of that crap is punishable by breakup. Pregnancies, cheating AND STD’s??? For f*ck’s sake! I gotta bounce…

  • Drew Smith

    SMH @ this list. You better hide; most of that crap is punishable by breakup. Pregnancies, cheating AND STD’s??? For f*ck’s sake! I gotta bounce…

  • Baaqi

    Yo who wrote this piece? I bet it was a woman who has probably been through most of this. Personally, we’re grown and if he or she wants to ask a question then let them ask. If the person you’re wants to ask you about any of these things what are you going to tell him/her? To mind their own business? NO. So keep it real. There is no need to hide anything from the person you are with. If you feel the need to hide it then you probably shouldn’t have done it. I personally ask these questions to a woman that i think I may be taking seriously. Why? Because I like to know WHO it is that I’m dealing with.

    • Nonsimplistic

      Most of these questions dont even come up, especially not before a man has hit it. Puhlease. Its funny how certain people act so righteous yes have the highest rate of single motherhood, dead beat fathers, and ex convicts. Have several seats cause your a fawk«n lie.

      And on another note men (specially black and hispanic) are the biggest liars so yeah yall go head and believe that he only slept with 5 women and never put hands on his ex.

      Your a simpleton and while your man is keeping his bump n grind past to himself, hes ready to persecute his woman and judge her a h0 when in truth he is the h0.

      Get his azz tested, talk to his mother and exes and go on with life. Men and truth dont belong in the same sentence ( for the most part)

      Source: grew up with 4 brothers

      • dlws8607

        Nonsmplistic: Check your misandry.

        • ChilePlease

          DownLowWeakSucka8607: Check your need to stalk an online WOMENS’ lifestyle forum!

      • BIGwalt

        Was one of your brothers Hispanic? Anyway she forgot number 10: If you sold any punany? Number 11: Your girl friends,are getting that cream pie special on the side from you. Number 12: You used to read Madame Noire -yep take all this sh*t to the grave with you

  • NMorris_isgudalwayz

    first of all do you even have a Husband or A Man? WHAT I DISCUSSED WITH MY HUSBAND HE WANTS TO KNOW. IF HE ASK I’M GOING TO TELL HIM. MY HUSBAND DOESN’T LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT MY EX, BUT HE KNOWS THAT I WAS IN A VERY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY EX, AND FRANKLY HE DOESN’T LIKE HIM. NOW DID I TELL HIM THAT MY EX CAME TO MY HOUSE AFTER WE HAD SOME WORDS (NOPE!!!). HE JUST KNOWS NOW THAT HE CAN;T GET TO ME ANYMORE. THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND HAS KNOWN ME FOR 9YRS. HE SHOULD KNOW EVERYTHING. WHO ARE YOU TO TELL SOMEONE WHAT YOUR BELIEFS IS IN A RELATIONSHIP? IF YOUR DATING NOWADAYS YOU HAVE TO KNOW SOMETHING(MEN AREN’T EVEN MEN) (AND WOMAN AREN’T EVEN WOMAN). SO IF I WAS SINGLE AGAIN YOU DAMN RIGHT I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING. HOW MANY KIDS YOU GOT, WHY YOU BROKE UP WITH YOUR EX. THE QUESTION WOULD BE ASKED IF YOU EVER HAD A STD BEFORE. HOW STABLE ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY AND FINANCIALLY . THE SEX TOYS THAT’S COOL. DO YOU TAKE BATH’S I HAD ONE THAT WAS AFFORD OF WATER. SO I KNOW WHAT TYPE OF CHICKS HE MESS WITH. LYING I DISLIKE A LIAR. YES IF YOU WAS ARRESTED, WHY IF YOU HAVE A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HISTORY(LOOK THAT UP ON THE COMPUTER) LADIES PLEASE, MEN ARE CRAZY.. I DO AGREE WITH ONE THING IF YOUR DATING HIM, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DISCUSS YOUR ABORTION’S WITH HIM, NOT COOL.. PLEASE STOP MAKING IT SEEM LIKE YOUR A GYN DOC. SOMETIMES THE MEN CAN’T HAVE BABIES(SWEETIE). I JUST THINK YOU NEED A MAN YOURSELF…LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE YOU GIVE YOUR THOUGHT’S ON WHAT OTHER’S SHOULD DO.. PEACE AND LOVE :)

    • Drew Smith

      What. The. Hell. Does. ANY. Of. This. Mean. My goodness. That was simply atrocious.

      • Kaori

        I read the first few words and didn’t bother with the rest.

      • NMorris_isalwayzgud

        it means if you can give dating etiquette i should be able to give my etiquette on dating. it’s to much stuff going around and to many woman tryin to be men and to many men tryin to be woman. Dating and being married is 2 different relationships.
        I just touched basis on the stupid 9 things she was talking about…

        • Miss Anonymous

          Yep dating for 7 years dont equal the same thing as a marriage. I need to print that out and slap my cousin upside the head with it, no wonder she is soo happy about being engaged to a guy her mom had to convince to get back with her after they broke up and she was having a mental breakdown.

    • http://twitter.com/MizzJazzyPeach J Mc

      chill out on the all caps. I also didn’t read past the first line of what you wrote because the all caps were making my eyes confused lol

      • NMorris_isalwaayzgud

        your right sorry for that.:(

  • Cokeland

    When I’m dating I only wanna know a few things: anything that puts my safety and health at risk (crazy exes, illegal activity, current std status). Things like finances, etc are to be divulged only if we’re in the serious phase. Just my own opinion… *shrugs*

  • dai

    Some of these are if you are only dating, with the exception of exes, as a law enforcement officer,I have seen a lot of exes that dont believe or accept the fact they are exes and there is nothing like a ex running up on the new friend and they have no freaking idea whats going on. As to how many people either was with before, speaking the males side of things, I was friends with several women that when we where in high school and college that put a Thai brothel during the vietnam war to shame. and in adult life, they where part of the employee benefit package, They were good friends, never sexed them, would never marry either of either.

  • smellsliketeenapathy

    horrible advice — how do you nurture intimacy, commitment, and passion (the three main categories of love according to triangular theory of psychologist Robert Sternberg) if you withhold information that is critical to your experience of intimacy, commitment, and passion???? in the end, lying instead of trusting is never a good method for maintaining a long-term, loving relationship. love means being aware of a person’s flaws and still loving them because flaws do not make the whole person.

  • Meyaka

    I’m the worst liar in the whole world,even lying to someone about being down the street when I’m still home getting dressed,I get caught every single time :(. No secret for us I told him everything he wanted to know.

    • get real

      Can’t believe u lied to your “its ok baby call that blk dude the N word” white daddy. Oh wiat I’m sure your talking about the one blk dude that you’ve ever dated.

      • Meyaka

        I looked in my purse and wallet and I can’t find a single fawk to give you , so consider this a fair warning.

        • get real

          The truth hurts, if ya scared go to church.

          • Na Na

            Ummm do you guys know each other? wtf

      • Whitefang

        Yeah when they screw,she probably get her rocks off,him dressed in a white robe ,with a noose about her freakin neck saying ‘give it to me Masuh!’

  • char25

    I may be wrong but most of that information on your list is important to share with your partner, especially if you are serious about each other and plan to share a life together. On that note, hopefully you wouldn’t have much dirt to share though!

    • Meyaka

      Right!

      • alysseleigh

        maybe in the sense of “just dating” this may apply but I’m in a serious relationship and want to build it even stronger, some of these things would apply to the withholding = lying category. No one is perfect …

        • Meyaka

          I hear you.

    • Take out the trash

      As a women, this is the craziest ish I have ever read/heard. Who the heck is written this, a prostitute. STD’s, Affairs, number of sexual partners, I dang sure wouldn’t want to be lied to about something as serious as this. Ok, let me jump off this site, the ish I have to say wont fit anyway. Wow just pure trash and carelessness,

      • James

        Hahaha, I love you for this! Very true..smh at STDs whoever wrote this probably had has SEVERAL visits to the clinic. I looked at number 7(Debt)…that is one of the MOST important things you must divulge to your partner. Finances is a key reason why a lot of people break up..smh at this nonsense list.

    • GIna

      No you are right, most of these choices on this list are what you should tell your partner. Why would you not tell you partner about an STD, Abortion, ect, are you kidding me

      • Jasmine

        Why exactly does a person need to know about an abortion you had with someone else?

        • Dee

          Because you past can catch up to you, and in some cases,many women that have had abortions have a hard time conceiving as they get older.

        • Gina

          An abortion is very important to tell a husband/life long partner especially if you would like to have children. Lots of women who have had abortion and STD’s aren’t able to have children or carry one to full term because of this reason. Statistics show that many women who have had abortions will likely have multiple miscarriages and emotional distress problems. This list may apply to dating before it becomes serious, but these are not information that you should take to the grave. Your past will catch up someway somehow

          • u mad?

            where did you get this stats from about abortions?

            • lalatarea

              Out her arse!!

  • shez_stubborn

    Ummmmmm….o_0

  • http://www.facebook.com/brandon.hallme Brandon Hall

    Yep, follow this advice and remember that he could be withholding the same information about himself, from you. But fair is fair right?

    • Meyaka

      Indeed.

      • PandorazBox

        Yeah…Brandon! I’d usually go WAY in on you (and your fellow Male Compadres who feel a need to BE on this site…let alone negate or refute an article made BY Women…FOR Women)….but something’s tellin me you’re actually just trying to Understand Us. I’m thoroughly convinced EVERYTHING in this article should be addedum’d in the Scriptures for today’s woman to follow; PLUS one more: “If you consider [fill-in-blank-with-name-of-Other-Man] attractive”. A wise woman knows that the most insecure of ‘the 2 of us’ IS men. Admit it. You ain’t on this site as a homework assignment now, is ya? ;)

        • dlws8607

          PandorazBox: Why is it that there is always some misandrist female that does not comprehend the simple fact that the Internet is for EVERYONE. If you cannot handle men commenting, that is a sign of your insecurity or lack of intelligence. Perhaps you should grow up and go away until you get over yourself.

          • PandorazBox

            Dear Limp Lame: Before I replied, I double-checked Madame Noire’s Home page so I could give YOU somethin to do once you wipe your excess lotion off your hands. “MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American WOMEN the latest in…..” I can engage in intellectual debate with the BEST of em (Am Pre-Law, Limpie!)…but the key word is INTELLECT -somethin you clearly fail to comprehend. Or you woulda read what I said to Brandon and not felt so defensive. There’s something to be said about a fella who needs to troll Gender-specific Lifestyle forums(You)….preying on the outspoken party (Me) with non-applicable “big words”. If I was on some misandrist stuff…I’d troll a MEN’s lifestyle forum and impose my miserable lamentations on members who signed on to relate and vent with their own kind. Wipe off your hand lotion, Limpie; and find you someone else to bother. I get it- you ain’t got a female companion nearby to bug to death, but there are other ways to feel Special.

            • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

              Well damn! Pandora went ham on buddy!

            • Whitefang

              Change that diaper,I mean kotex baby, you definitely on the rag! Drink some green tea and lay the f*ck down, try to walk it off,get laid or something!!!

        • http://profiles.google.com/larz.blackman Larz Blackman

          You should be glad that men are on here to set your twisted mind straight. Otherwise, it’s just a feeding frenzy of bad information. We’ll stop coming around when the ladies quit posting on Ask Men.

        • BIGwalt

          Yeah..woman wear men’s clothes,and have entered sports such as ‘Boxing’ the manly art of self defense….and I could name more. ..and you don’t read magazines written for men such as ‘playboy’? I like to be informed on why my blk boo is acting deranged,is it her or the liberated,independent trash the internet is spitting out?

      • jasmine

        I read the caveats, and I agree with them. She qualified every scenario so if you’re just dating this list is great.

        • PandorazBox

          Word, Jasmine. The title of this article is “9 Secrets That Are Okay to Keep From Your MAN” – not HUSBAND. Remember “The Best Man” movie? I personally think that Morris Chesnut’s character woulda been better off never knowing that his (then-girlfriend) got tired of HIS sloring tendencies…and justifiedly got her some comfort sex on the side. Most (INSECURE) men cannot handle ‘the truth’. They approach relationships with a “Anything you divuldge to me can and will be held against you til death do us part – if I don’t snap and kill you first” mentality. For everyone throwin tomatoes at the author’s front windshield….they’d be better off admitting that they suscribe to Chump Mentality and just go on back to tending to their unhappy marriages & to stop hatin on legally Single folks smart enough not to walk down the aisle to a life of non-prenuptial-protected doom and damnation.

        • gina

          The article says “take it to the grave” meaning he should never know regardless of which stage the relationship is in. Don’t get me wrong somethings like best sex, number of parters should not be said but an STD, you have to let them know some times, especially as a woman.

          • Lolololo

            Especially as a woman? Hahaaaa. Right so I guess the man dont have to divulge nathin huh.

            What men dont know about woman is we pretend the best . next time your “giving her that gasm” you remember that

      • Reginaa

        Thats why I got a white man tee-he! I can’t deal deal with the brotha sista drama you folks are putting down.