If you ask me, “beautiful” is not a word to be thrown around lightly. Sure, I think beauty can be found in a lot of places; but when it comes to people, beautiful is just as much about a person’s actions and thoughts as it is about the outward, physical appearance, people are often referring to when they use the word. I guess I’m of the same mind as Italian actress Sophia Loren, who had this to say about beauty:
“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”
But maybe everyone doesn’t see it like that.
A few months ago, I started dating this guy and from our first date, until now, every time we’ve seen each other, he’s made a point to tell me that I’m beautiful. The first time, I appreciated it. Maybe even the second time too. But eventually, I started to resent it a little bit. And not because I didn’t believe him, or thought he was being insincere. I’m not being conceited when I say beautiful is not a new word for me. I’ve heard it from my father, my family, my friends, strangers who meant it and strangers who just wanted something from me. I’m comfortable with the word. I just wondered why he was using it so frequently, when he really didn’t know me yet. If he had been calling me pretty that would have been easier to stomach. But to me, the use of the word beautiful required knowledge about me he just didn’t have yet. So one evening, after he’d said it again, I had to tell him: “You know I really don’t know how to take that. I don’t know if I’m supposed to say ‘thank you,’ when I really had nothing to do with how I look.”
His answer was perfect. Essentially, he told me that our definitions of beauty weren’t too far off from one another, that beauty, and my beauty in particular, was more than just my physical features. And I believed him.
So my question to you ladies, is this: Do you have a problem with a man commenting exclusively on your physical features? What is your definition of beauty?