NO You Did Not Wear THAT In Public: 9 Things You Shouldn’t Be Wearing Or Doing At The Gym

December 1, 2012  |  
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Working on your fitness? Pat yourself on the back boo, because it takes a lot to find the time to hit the treadmill, the weights, or the elliptical rather than opting for the easy option to eat Cheetoes on the couch. Seriously, you’re a champ. However, as you get your body and mind right at the local fitness center, know that you can’t just walk up in that joint doing just anything and wearing just anything either. Too many get way too comfortable or use the gym experience as the opportunity to see how many numbers they can get. Hey, do what you do, but know that somebody (like me) is giving you the side eye if you do the following…

Working Out In Uggs And Boots

Kid you not, I was just in the gym on Tuesday and saw both a woman in Uggs and a man in boots pretending they were working up a sweat when they knew damn well they could have broken their necks (or scuffed the hell out of the floor) in their footwear. I mean, homegirl was on the treadmill next to her girlfriend running in the tall gray joints (and may I add, with her stomach out and the tightest tights on–ever), not knowing that those things didn’t have good support and just looked crazy on in the gym once you get past the door. And even though the fella was just lifting weights, where did he think he was going dressed in boots, shorts and a cutoff shirt? A Jodeci 4Ever Fan Club meetup? Payless has some gym shoes for the low low if you really can’t make it to the saddity sneaker shops, but for your sake, I would recommend leaving the ug-mug Uggs in the locker room.

 

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Pretending You’re Working Out When You’re Really Just Being A Creeper

This could go for either men or women, but honestly, it’s geared mostly towards the fellas. I see you watching me and other women as we enter the gym and walk to the locker room. And once we’re dressed and ready to work it out, I see you sitting on the leg press, once again watching me and other women as we go to our respective piece of equipment. The saying goes, you can look, just don’t touch, and even that’s a hell no. I don’t come to the gym to be ogled as I do squats by a man pretending he’s working out but doesn’t have an ounce of sweat on his brow. Nor do I want to weight lift and see you watching me in the mirror. You might think all that is innocent, but it’s sending off the weirdest creep vibe ever. There are men who do this all the time outside the gym, and they’re called peeping Toms…

Acting Like You’re At Club Gym

In the same vein, both men and women should save the macking attempts for when they’re in the proper place for something like that–not while someone is sweating up a river on an elliptical machine just trying to focus on their health. If you just so happen to click with someone you meet at the gym and wind up exchanging info, good for you. But I wouldn’t recommend making it a habit to go to the gym hoping to run into Mr. or Mrs. Right.

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Dressing Like You’re At Club Gym…

And to add to that, please remember that there is a time and place for everything m’dears. I get that tights are supposed to be the resurrected workout gear of choice, but why are you clearly (as in, your tights are not opaque) walking around (or running around) with no underwear on with them? What’s up with the baby T and the face full of makeup? Are you coming to work out or are you coming to get “chose”? I’m just saying, you just might be doing the most.

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Acting Like You’re At Home Alone And Getting Naked

Sure, a locker room is private to the public, but there are still a gang of men and women in their respective dressing areas. Maybe that’s why, for the life of me, I can’t understand why some people like to be so free with their nudity in front of everyone. Seriously. I don’t want to get dressed and try to sit down to put on my kicks only to look up and have you bending down butt a** naked to get something out of a bottom locker. I don’t want to go wash my hands and see you bent of over the sink in your birthday suit trying to hand wash your gym clothes (I’ve seen it…). YOU’RE NOT AT HOME, and while the naked body is “natural,” if it isn’t my own, I don’t want to see that mess.

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Hogging Machines

If you’re not working out at the most spacious gym, you probably understand the struggle to get to the machine you want and keep it moving. Want the StairMaster? Homegirl has been on it for 45 minutes already climbing down to a size three. Want to pick up few weights? Somebody has taken them all and walked to another area of the gym. If you don’t have a private little workout room at home, then everybody needs to do a better job at NOT hogging up all the machines and tools. And on a side note, tell your friend not to stand in the way of the machine I need to use so she can talk to you about what “he” did last night. Sharing is caring, ya’ll.

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Not Cleaning Up After Yourself

Bodily fluids of any kind that don’t belong to you are gross and should only be handled and cleaned up by their owner. But who am I kidding? In the world we live in, people piss on toilets and leave it, wipe boogers on walls and leave their children’s dirty diapers in dressing rooms (once again, I’VE SEEN IT). But at the gym, I would love if I didn’t have to get on one of my favorite machines and see that the hand rails are covered in a damp mist and that the place where you enter the speed you want wasn’t covered in the sweat of someone else. Same goes for benches with your sweaty a** crack ingrained in them. Do us a favor and just take a paper towel with you and do a quick swipe before walking away. And oh yeah, THROW THE TISSUE PAPER AWAY WHEN YOU’RE DONE. Don’t just leave it at or on the machine. Thanks!

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Coming To The Gym Smelling Like Pig-Pen

I get it. Working out is hard work, and you’re never going to end your exercise smelling like a bed of roses or Love Spell (throwback!). But I’ll be damned if you should be coming in smelling worse than when most folks leave. When you decide to bench press across the room, I shouldn’t be able to smell your lack of deodorant when you raise the weights up, and I shouldn’t smell you when you’re working it out at the squat machine. A quick wipe down of the important places before you come in would really help actually, but please don’t ignore, and also, don’t drown the funk in perfume or colognes either. That’s much worse.

Some Things You Just Need To Leave At Home (Or In the Locker Room)…

Lengthy phone conversations? Save that for the crib. Rollers? Uh, I would save that for the crib as well. And while I know most people will continue to hate us for saying this, it’s just got to be put out there: bonnets and shower caps should be for the bed…and the shower. Not for the gym. A decent hair scarf or cap can help with most hair worries when going to the gym, but honestly, some things just weren’t meant to leave the confines of your home. Now that you know this and more, do better…and have a great workout!

 

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