Why Did He Stop Calling? Maybe Because Of One Of These Reasons

November 10, 2012  |  
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Ever date a guy and everything is going great, and then POOF! He’s gone? He stopped calling, answering your text messages…and he even “unfriended” you on Facebook. You thought you hit it off so well, yet another one bites the dust. Right when you think you might have found The One, something changes and you’re left wondering why you’re not finding the love you feel you deserve.

Men can’t love a woman that they don’t respect, just as woman can’t love a man that she doesn’t respect either. Many things go into gaining respect, and some of these things are different for men and women. For example, a woman may not respect a man who doesn’t have a job, because the man is thought to be the provider, while a woman without a job may not be a deal breaker for a man. The best way to earn respect is to respect yourself first, but if you’re still confused as to why he has suddenly lost interest, consider these reasons why a man may have lost respect for you…and therefore his interest.


1. You Had Sex Too Soon

While there is no set time frame when a man and woman should have sex, many men will tell you that if they have sex with a woman on the first date, he’ll think she has sex on the first date with men all the time…and that might cause him to lose respect for her from the beginning. This doesn’t mean that he’ll stop sleeping with her, but it may mean that he won’t commit to her.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of men who are evolved enough to know that sex on the first date doesn’t mean she’s promiscuous. Grownups do grown-up things, and if the mood hits, then why not go for it?! Many a long-term relationship has been born from first date sex. But if you find that you tend to have sex with potential new boo’s on the first date or VERY early on REGULARLY, you might want to try a 30 or 60 day rule just to see if the guy sticks around a little longer. This doesn’t mean that if you make him wait, you’ll find love – but just try it. You’ll get to know each other better and if it doesn’t work out, you will have kept the goodies to yourself.


2. You Pull Out All of Your “Tricks” Too Soon

Okay, so you’re about to have sex for the first time with your new guy and you’re ready. You break out the lingerie, the adult videos, the toys, the duct tape, the handcuffs and a whip – all so you can put it on him! But this might freak him out. While some men will appreciate a woman who can and WILL pull out all the stops for their first rendezvous, others might be creeped out thinking she’s a freak with every man she’s had sex with – and he may estimate that to be a high number given her “experience.” This isn’t fair, and probably immature – but some men want to believe that there are some things you haven’t done that he can “teach” you. If you give him everything too soon, he may think there’s nothing left worth coming back for. Leave some things to the imagination, and play to his ego a little bit. No need to show him all your tricks upfront – give him something to look forward to.


3. Childish or Immature Behavior

Some women think it’s cute to talk in a baby voice, whine or gossip, but to most men, this is simply annoying. Unless he’s Kanye West, there’s only so much of a whiny, baby voice he can take. Speak like an adult, and leave all the petty, catty gossip to your girlfriends. Men are not attracted to women who act like little girls, so if you pout, cry, or throw tantrums when you don’t get your way, don’t expect a man to stick around for very long.



4. You’re Overly Jealous or Insecure

As I stated before, in order to gain respect, you have to respect yourself – and nothing is hotter than a woman who exudes confidence. When you are secure in yourself, you rarely have time to stalk someone else. If you find that you are the jealous type in ALL of your relationships, you have a self-esteem or insecurity issue – and no man respects that. I’m not talking about your God given women’s intuition telling you something is off. I’m talking about the woman who follows her man around looking for reasons to not trust him. If you want to slap the waitress because you think she’s looking at your man too hard, you have issues – and it’s no wonder he’s suddenly lost your phone number.




5. You Fight or Have Anger Issues

Speaking of slapping waitresses, if you go H.A.M at a moment’s notice as if you were a member of the cast of Basketball Wives, then he may think you’re crazy, let alone lose respect for you. Nothing is cute about a woman who is quick to check someone who accidentally bumped her on the train or who curses her man out when he calls her back 5 minutes late. Respect is often earned through your behavior as well, so fighting, cursing and going off on people is a sign of a woman who is out of control. Take a few anger management classes and try to conduct yourself like a lady. A true woman will hold herself in a high regard, and such behavior will be beneath her…compelling others to respect her as well.


6. You Drink or Do Drugs Excessively

Along the same lines of acting out in anger, acting out by drinking or indulging in other addictive behavior is also a sign that you don’t respect yourself, and any man worth his salt wouldn’t be caught dead with a woman who is a slobbering, bumbling drunk. If you have a substance abuse problem, there is no way you can have a healthy relationship with anyone, including yourself. Get help and make choices that are for your best well-being. You cannot have the life and love you want and deserve if you are addicted to anything other than that which serves in your best interest.



7. You’re Needy or Clingy

While most men like to feel validated, there is a difference between being “needy” and needing him. Men respect women who have other things going on outside of him and are self-sufficient and can handle their business without any help from him – yet know how make him worthy at the same time. It’s a fine balance of being an intelligent, hard-working, phenomenal woman while still allowing him to pursue you. You don’t have to be up under him all the time, or be who he wants you to be in order to hold on to him. Stop calling, texting and hounding him all day and get a life. It’s okay to let him miss you sometimes.



8. You Lie or Cheat

Being an honest person is the key to gaining respect from anyone, especially when it comes to relationships. If he feels he can’t trust you, then there’s no way he can respect you. Trust is the foundation for any real relationship, and while you can love someone you don’t trust, the relationship won’t last without it. A person with integrity will not lie or misrepresent him or herself, and cheating degrades you both – so it’s best to stay out of a relationship if you are not truly ready to be honest or faithful.



9. You Complain…ALL THE TIME

Nothing is worse than a Debbie Downer. If you find that you’re always complaining – about your weight, your job, your friends, or your life in general – then believe me when I say no man (or woman) wants to be around that. It’s especially annoying when the person complaining isn’t doing anything to change their situation. If you are unhappy with your weight, join a gym or go walking and watch what you eat. If you’re unhappy with your job, then hone your skills to find a job or a career that you’re genuinely enthused about, or update your resume and start applying elsewhere. Whatever it is, instead of complaining, take control and DO SOMETHING. A person who thrives on misery will never attract love or respect, so figure out what it is that makes you happy and go after it. Change your mindset…and you can change your life.

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  • So… this just means to mean that both of them are ‘ho’s’. If a guy wants to be petty and claim he doesn’t want to respect me because I slept with him, I would just *kanye shrug* and keep it moving because I obviously don’t respect you either.

  • While I agree that most men and women kill the potential in the relationship early on in the dating phase by doing stupid things like sleeping with each other too soon, let’s not mistake things here. A man that sleeps with woman on the first date is just as much a sl**t as she is.

  • The author says all that to say, he’s just not that interested. You may be a social misfit with raging halitosis and there is still a man who would love you stankin breath and all. What it boils down to is he lost interest either because he recognized before you did that you two would not work out or he has found a woman who he is highly interested in. Making self improvements should be done for the SELF and to enrich and enhance your life, not to mollify some man into being interested in you.

  • kierah

    I thought Sex & The City cleared this up years ago. Maybe he’s not that into you. End game.
    All the wondering is eliminated by this statement. Embrace it and move on!

  • Pseudonym

    This post was ridiculous. I was looking for reasons such as:

    1. He reunited with his ex-girlfriend
    2. One of the women he’s been “talking” to finally made things serious
    3. He is not interested in dating you/it was a one-nite stand
    4. He’s dating multiple women and hasn’t decided to focus on you specifically
    5. He’s a jerk
    6. You’re a jerk

    (but those last 2 should be at the bottom of the list, not the primary assumptions!)

    …but to imply that you have to be a horrible person or be making horrible decisions b/c a guy didn’t call you back…and to propose that as the ONLY reason…NONSENSE!

  • KJ23

    I don’t understand all the hate. I think the article was pretty good. It’s not saying that all women do these things, but if you do, it could be a reason why the guy isn’t hitting you back.

  • Mrs. A

    I believe the writer is speaking to women. She wants us to check ourselves. Some women need to hear these reasons. Yes, we know men can play a major part in why things go south, but we need all the scenario’s to understand relationships and their failures.

    • Cogito

      I understand that the message was directed specifically at women, but my point was that “A woman doesn’t have to necessarily do anything wrong in order for this to occur.” For example: I myself, in the past, have recused myself from the process because there was a disequilibrium in my life at that time which had nothing to do with anything she did or lacked in quality. So yes, while women should certainly self reflect and inventory what they bring to the table; things CAN fall apart through no fault on her part.

  • Cogito

    There are no universal reason for why we men do what we do; we are in fact as advertised…. individuals. And in many respects, we are no different than women in the romantic game in that we keep our options open until we are inspired to monogamously commit. And while I personally, do not endorse disconnecting without some communication, there are a plethora of reasons why a man may do so.
    We men are oftentime guilty of jumping without thinking; we respond to the visual stimulus of a woman’s beauty but oftentimes, find ourselves mismatched or overmatched once we venture beyond the exterior layer. Sometimes, we realize her expectations (material, emotional or intellectual) are beyond our ability to sustain. Some men disconnect this way because they do not know how to communicate their reasoning, or they simply want to avoid any manifest drama they believe will occur.
    When this has happen to me in reverse, I may speculate for moment as to the reasons why, but I never take it to seriously because what people do is more about them than it is about me. I simply accept that I wasn’t for her and keep it moving without being diminished in the slightest.

  • I am over this brooke character. She always has 6 reasons dear God. Who cares why he didn’t call. There are more men that I haven’t called then ones that haven’t called me. Maybe he didn’t cal bc he was looking for a booty call and u DIDN’T give it up too soon. Or he’s married or got back with his ex or whatever maybe I don’t care why he didn’t call bc he was only an option. Brooke unless you are happily married for 20 plus years with a faithful husband who is also happy I want no relationship advice.

    • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

      I think the article is crap, but she wasn’t giving you advice specifically.

      • Irritated


        • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

          SMH. You need to get a grip. You may change your name, but it doesn’t make you any less obsessed in replying to my comments with your own that aren’t even related to the article.

      • THAT’S obvious but I think rather I speak in first person or third people get my point.

        • Alohilani


  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    This article is a mess. These are clear reason why a man would stop fooling around with a woman if it’s HER fault not if there just wasn’t chemistry in the relationship or if there was something going on on a man’s part. Every time this author writes a relationship article, it’s something negative or wrong that a woman’s doing that makes or breaks or relationship, yet the man has no part in it. . .

  • I, too am disconcerted that the reason why a MAN won’t call has everything to do with what a woman does or doesn’t do. What happened to us all being responsible for our own behavior? Why is it a must that the issue is the woman. Perhaps, even if it WERE something a woman did…wouldn’t it be more of an adult thing, for a man to properly disconnect himself? Communicate to the person in question that he is no longer interested or vested? Everything is relative. He may deem her normal affection as clingy because perhaps HE is emotionally insecure and detached. We could do the blame game all day, but it will always come back around to an adult being an adult, facing the music and stating their position with respect.

    • Dee

      Bingo!!! An adult should end a relationship in a respectful manner. To just stop calling is immature and women should not blame themselves for childish male behavior.

    • lala x

      well said…,if only that could ease my broken heart

  • madonna

    Men will do anything to avoid an awkward conversation. It’s usually nothing to do with the woman they are dating- they do this to every woman they date. If they are so lacking in manners and social skills, good riddance. My husband argues that if a man really wants to be with a woman, he doesn’t care how early in the relationship they have sex- in fact, all the “rules” we’re taught as girls are irrelevant to men. If a man is attracted to you and really wants to be with you, you can break every “rule” in the book.

  • ANTMilf

    More like a man impersonating as a woman wrote this article. What about he might have a girlfriend or a wife at home, he’s only into s3x, not a relationship or he’s just a player?

    • Na Na

      Exactly! Im looking for reasons he might stop calling and all I see are reasons a woman shouldn’t be called. we’re talking about intelligent, rational women who this happens to. Not psycho ratchett baby mamas.

  • Meyaka

    So I’m the only gal in America who doesn’t base her self esteem on who she is dating and how many time he called or if he calls back or if he likes long hair and all these silly “opinions” women drive themselves crazy over? Girl….

  • bluekissess

    This is a sexist article. Why is this article displaying women as crazy, insecure drug addicts? What if the reason why he didn’t call is because he just doesn’t like you, he has other women he could be married whatever it is a women should never sit by the phone. Live your life. If he calls great if he doesn’t his loss

    • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

      Almost all of the articles on this topic are.