Figuring Out Fake Friends: 6 Signs That Your Friends May Be Green With Envy

36 comments
July 22, 2012 ‐ By Esi Mensah

Green with Envy

Do you ever wonder if a friend may be jealous of you? You wonder why they never seem happy for you or tend to criticize your every move. Well, your first intuition may be correct. Your friend might indeed be jealous of you. Unfortunately, jealousy can come in so many different forms. So exactly how do you know if they’re jealous of you without blatantly asking them if they’re jealous? Well, here are six indications of that nasty character trait that we call jealousy:

Lack of encouragement

We’ve all had those moments where you’re extremely excited to announce something new, only for you to tell your friend and their response is “Oh okay.” Not even a “That sounds great” or “Good job” from your so-called best friend. Lack of encouragement or lack of support is a sign that your friend is jealous of you. Sometimes a friend’s lack of support is so obvious that it would even make a sarcastic “Good for you” comment seem good.

Copying you or trying to upstage you

There is nothing more annoying then buying a brand new pair of designer jeans, only to discover your friend has bought the exact same pair the next day. Sometimes they’ll even take it to the next level by getting something more expensive than yours. Are they just an admirer of your style or is the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head? Sounds like the latter…

Tears you down and sometimes pessimistic

There is nothing worse than a friend who constantly tears you down or criticizes you about everything. You come up with a new idea, and they give you every excuse in the book about why you shouldn’t be doing that. Sometimes they will even attack your character by maybe calling you a bad parent or telling you that you’re selfish. These are just a few examples, but you get the point…

Craves attention from your peers

Ever experience a friend adding a lot of your friends on Facebook to their own list? This comes after only saying hi to your friend once if they’ve even said anything at all… sounds like someone is jealous of your popularity and wants your friends for themselves.

Disappearing or shying away

Have you ever experienced trying to make plans with a friend and suddenly they’re always too busy or don’t even call you back altogether. All of a sudden they never want to hang out anymore. Sometimes when people are jealous, they would rather stay away then face the fact that they feel bad about themselves in your presence.

Doesn’t give you credit or creates excuses for your success

This type of jealousy usually occurs when you tell your friend about something and for everything thing you say, they always have a “Me too.” Sometimes they’ll even say something like “That’s so easy to get.” By diminishing what you’ve done, or drawing attention to an equal experience of their own, they will succeed in making sure they feel better about themselves. Once again, jealousy at it’s finest moment.

 

 

 

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  • Raven

    Guys go through this stuff too. My “best friend” hits four out of the six.

  • meeee

    Im dealing with this right now! It really sucks and it’s very hurtful. Friends who I thought were there for me aren’t, while so many great things are happening in my life. I’ve been nothing but a good friend to them and i’ve done so much for them. Maybe that’s where im at fault. I did too much so they only expect things out of me that involves them. =(

    My feelings are hurt.

  • meeee

    Im dealing with this right now! It really sucks and it’s very hurtful. Friends who I thought were there for me aren’t, while so many great things are happening in my life. I’ve been nothing but a good friend to them and i’ve done so much for them. Maybe that’s where im at fault. I did too much so they only expect things out of me that involves them. =(

    My feelings are hurt.

  • Ralph Machenrou

    This is technically an article about envy.

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  • Travel_Fem

    I ended a friendship with a childhood friend recently because he has turned into the person described in your article. He won’t do anything to improve his life but will gossip about and tear others down – especially people he calls his friends. I have no time for that kind of foolishness. When you offer someone friendship and they offer you passive aggressive insults, they are not your friend. And people can grow up and grow apart.

  • http://twitter.com/Jupiters_Alien Angelina Parker ♫

    What if it’s the opposite. They aren’t envious but YOU are. Everybody that I repeatedly and repeatedly ask if they wanna hang out say no. Even when they have a day off.

  • AnalyticalThinkingPot313

    I love the advice and all. However, I do believe that sometimes, when a friend pulls back, it could mean that they are just sick and tired of being around you not because of jealousy. People do grow up and grow apart, that’s human nature.

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  • Kristina Tramel

    I have one true friend since middle school and never had to go through this with her.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bree.ransom.12 Bree Ransom

    Greeeat!

  • BIG BAKED APPLE

    The disappearing act is worth about 3 pages. They check in every once in a while to see if you’ve got any bad news and if you don’t they’ll call back in a few months.

    • Storm

      Lol! I just thought of how true & sad that is. Well, when they do call either ignore the call altogether, pick up & blow them off nicely (good-bye fakey flakey friend) or simply amuse yourself by hang-up on the call while they ring. It’s a sure fire way to crush their ego, if they’ve been ignoring you & are coming back to hear how your life is in a mess. No sympathy from me, if that’s what kind of friend I assume you to be. I’m sick of friends being wishy washy. It’s like “I need a girl-P.Diddy Song” up in here except with a good girlfriend as the concept. Sigh, I have no idea how these animals rules by females get along.

  • KJ23

    I had a boss that did all of this.

  • http://twitter.com/sabadaga SANDRA

    OMG, thank youuuuuuu for this article. This exactly sums up what I went through two months ago. There was a young woman in my class who was so jealous of every success that I had. So, she tried to put me down everytime she could but I always checked her. The best solution is to stay away from these toxic people.

  • Honeybee30

    This is a great article. I went through the 6 signs of jealously with my friends, even my family members. It is petty and ridiculous because of jealous. I am good person and great loyal friend. When I move to another city to better my life, my friends and family members acted very differently towards me. I can understand my friends but family is the worst. It is ok I can find better friends and stay true to other family members who has my best interest at heart.

  • Kashbmaryd

    Considering the topic, I’m actually surprised the article was this short. It deserved more than a brief one-pager. And that part about criticizing someone’s parenting skills was particularly weak. It would depend on whether or not the person actually had bad parenting skills. That could be a legitimate concern whether the accuser is jealous or not.

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  • Nope

    Most women come home and b*tch about some other woman, be it a coworker or their ‘friend’. Any man can tell you this is most of what they hear from a woman when she gets home.

  • Ashley

    I am slowly realizing that everyone is not going to be happy for your success. They seem more at ease when you’re down. These people create negative energy in your life. AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT (in my Sweet Brown voice)

    • nori

      lol I love sweet brown:)

  • http://www.facebook.com/Jontels.Salon.Suite Jontel White

    Hunny! If one doesn’t agree with this enitre article; one has NOT had ENOUGH experience with thoes type of haters OR one IS allowing so called long time friends to hold them back from the advancements God wants one to experience; year after year after year, month after month after month, week after week after week, day after day after day, hour after hour after hour, AND I REALLY MEAN MINUTE AFTER MINUTE AFTER MINUTE. Thoes type of haters ALSO include long time childhood BEST friends, and from my experience even the opposite sex hater whom one is intimate with who calls YOU his friend. SAY BYE HATERS ……….. FOREVER………..FOREVER EVER & COMMITT TO YOUR FUTURE HUNNY, BECAUSE THEM PEOPLE WON’T EVER CHANGE UNTIL YOU LEAVE THEM BE BECAUSE WHEN YOU LET THEM BACK IN YOUR LIFE THEY eventually GO BACK TO THEIR EVIL WAYS!

  • mz_chocolatina

    YES!!!! Im just glad I didnt have to click through 6 pages just to read this article. .

    • Happijuice

      Omg yes I hate that especially looking on my phone lol they need to keep it all on one page!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438551270 Jessica Lucinda Williams

    I agree with some of those. Some can simply be a misunderstanding. That’s why real friends communicate and not make assumptions of the others behavior. I have 2 people who I call my “friend”. And they are like sisters to me. We fuss, fight, and sometimes we don’t speak to each other for days, but we get over it and move on. It has nothing to do with being a “hater”. I think a lot of those problems could be eliminated by not throwing around the word “friend” so loosely.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kismet83 Nivea Walden

    Unfortunate but true

  • Good Cookie

    Good Article and yes it’s on one page finally. What I don’t get though is I tend to express my live story by referring to God’s Blessings. We have no need to be jealous but we need to be thankful. But I will say I only know 2 females that are not like this article and they are true friends. But is that really envy on the others for example I have one friend that is always asking what Im wearing to outings to upstage me ? Or spending out not paying her bills just to buy something that resembles what I got. Wow

  • Mia

    I have tried, lord knows I’ve tried but I just cannot have a true genuine friendship with a female. The petty jealousies and the back stabbing are just too much. I’m a good loyal friend but I never get that in return from women.

    • Rhonda Chambers

      That’s the story of my life. But people will judge and say the problem is you..Life is just not that simple. I had a girl that straight up used me to get to another girlfriend of mine so she could get her into the school she was at. She stopped talking to me soon as she was done using me. She ended up using her and dumping her too. I didn’t do anything to deserve that. I’ll never let it happen it again.

    • eestoomuch@gmail.com

      my relationship status with women….lightly and slightly…as
      Aretha says…

  • Red

    Love it……..

  • IllyPhilly

    Yup sums up a true hater in one shot! Love all on one page as well.

    • DeepThinker

      agreed!

  • amansview

    All this on only one page?! Great article. Very to-the-point and concise.

    • Hooda

      I was hesitant to click on the link to this article b/c I thought I would have to go through six pages. Thank you MN!