Loving a Lame: Signs You’re Dating a Jerk

June 2, 2012  |  
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We all know them when we see them. Clowns, jerks, douche bags – any of these names will do. What I find interesting, and annoying, is that either these people have no idea that they are this way, or they simply don’t care. Some even take pride in it, and wear that title as a badge of honor. But this list isn’t really given so that you can identify one, but more-so provided so that if you are blinded by love…or the long stroke…you can run…and run fast! Lames can be men OR women, but since this site is geared towards women, let me help the sistas out.

If for some strange reason you really don’t know what a lame looks like up close and personal, male OR female, let me help you out with just a few of a myriad of traits that define a jerk. Feel free to add your own.


1. He Treats You Like Dirt

This is the most obvious sign you’re dating a loser  – he’s just mean and makes fun of you for no reason. This type of guy acts like he doesn’t even really like you, or women for that matter, yet refuses to leave you and always finds himself in relationships JUST so he can mistreat the women he dates. It really makes no sense, but these types are so insecure that they feel they have to put their girlfriend down in order to make themselves feel important. And the longer you stay with him, the more empowered he feels – and the more “jerkish” he becomes. He won’t put you out of your misery, he’ll just make you feel like his obnoxious behavior is all your fault, so it’s up to you to leave. If you don’t, you almost deserve to be with him.


2. He Brags About His Sex, Conquests or How Many Women He Has

Unless he’s a pimp, there’s no reason for a man to talk about his women or how much sex anyone is having. And if he IS a pimp, he needs to be beaten with a whiffle ball bat, because that’s just stupid. Men who brag about how much sex they’re having in order to impress their friends are lame, and even MORE lame if they brag about it to OTHER women. Chances are, this dude hasn’t been laid in a year, which is why he feels the need to embellish. And even if he IS smashing every woman he meets, a true gentleman (if that even applies) never kisses and tells – only jerks do.

3. He Pressures You For Sex

It’s your first date, he treated you to a movie and Applebees, and now he feels like you should “thank him” with sex. This guy doesn’t know how to fall back, even after you’ve said no…and no again. What the hell man? If the date went well, there’s no reason for him to think he won’t see you again – yet some jerks attack and jump on you like the world is coming to an end at midnight, so they need to have sex with you NOW! Chances are, he doesn’t plan on asking you out on a second date, he just wants sex, so he pressures you for it all night until you relent – or until he gets a message from the girl he texted while you were in the bathroom as a backup in case you said no. Keep the cookie to yourself if you run into this guy, because you’ll never hear from him again.


4. He Hits on Every Woman He Sees

Ever see that guy in the club? He has a routine. He roams from woman to woman, using the same tired pickup lines and buys every woman a drink in hopes that he’ll get her number, or even better – an invitation to her place. But these jerks don’t just hang out in clubs. They hit on every woman on the subway, at work, strip clubs and even their friends and colleagues. The SUPER jerk does this even though he’s married or in a relationship – and will even hit on his wife or girlfriend’s friends.  Mess with THAT guy and you might catch a case.


5. You Never Get the Remote

This is minor, but still a loser tendency. This means he doesn’t know how to share or compromise – and can signal that he’s a controlling asshole at that. Then, he’ll fall asleep while watching HIS show, and the minute you grab the remote and change the channel, he wakes up abruptly and barks at you, “I was watching that!”


6. He’s Obnoxious to Wait Staff

Some women don’t realize a man is a jerk  until they witness how he treats waiters, waitresses, flight attendants or any other persons who work in a customer service capacity. Just because he’s nice to YOU doesn’t mean he can’t be a jerk – he’s just a jerk to other people…and that will eventually trickle down to you. This guy puts a waiter through the wringer, berates him, causes a scene and then complains about the service just so he doesn’t have to leave a tip. You’re left sitting there wishing you were invisible because you’re so embarrassed. You can’t take this guy anywhere.


7. He Pretends to be “Deep”

This guy really has no culture, class or education, yet is always trying to educate you on something he really has no knowledge of. He talks about being a vegetarian, even though you watched him wolf down a Fat Burger. He pretends to be an artsy, soulful deep thinker, with Drake as his muse, all the while bragging about places he’s never actually been because he can’t get off the block. Instead of actually trying to accumulate real life experiences, he simply talks about them in theory, making him a corny clown – and a lazy one.


8. He’s a “Commodity”

This is the worst type of jerk – the one who believes he is entitled to behave like one because he bought into the “there are no good men” theory, and feel that women have no choice but to date him. He has a high paying job, a nice home and a cool ride – and he makes all of this known to you. But rather than actually developing a great personality, he relies on his material possessions to mask all of his shortcomings. He has no real life, no real friends and only looks good on paper. He believes he’s a catch and feels his arrogance is justified…and that it even makes him more attractive. Women may find this intriguing at first, but after a while, his glaring “doucheness” shines through – and then it’s time to make an exit.

9. He Doesn’t Like ANYONE

This guy makes fun of gay and lesbian people, Black people, White people, short people, tall people, fat people, skinny people, disabled people, babies, puppies…you name it. He simply finds fault with anyone with a pulse, but particularly people who are defenseless against his jabs. This guy will push an old lady down the steps if she’s not moving fast enough. Personally, I think there’s a special place in Hell for these guys, but that’s just me. I don’t run into them that often, as most men are NOT this way, but for the card-carrying, proud jerk –you gets no love from me.

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  • so from what im reading: any man that aint acting like no robot aint nothing but a loser. yep i get it now smh

  • Cay Jay

    Didn’t you use these same ones for another post about a year ago? Wow, rehashing old stuff. Getting a bit slow huh?

    • akha1784

      I was just thinking like hmmm some of these characteristics seem awfully familiar.

  • Justme

    My ex turned out to the guy who doesnt like anyone….go figure…thankfully he is the past!!!!

  • TheTruth

    He’s a jerk if he says he’ll call you back and doesn’t repeatedly & you’ve asked him nicely to please stop doing that and he says he’s working on it but he still keeps doing it!!!!!! so mfing annoying!!!!!!

    • akha1784


  • rattlethatraas

    Women are hypocrites. They’re doing the same dirt men do-but always play the victim. Their secrets are kept by their relatives and girlfriends. For men; the bigger a jerk you are-the more puntang you’ll get

  • NarutoFriendOmoi

    I like the new disqus comment section.

  • Tiffany Astin

    I know a couple of men that this apply to

  • this list is crazy because it seems like these are the qualities that hoodrat chicks are attracted to and if a man displayed the opposite of these qualities he would be considered a “lame”

  • Mary

    What if he thinks other girls are pretty but calls you average looking? Does that qualify him as a jerk even though you’re not dating?

    • Ms. Blue

      Yes it does! But if you really want to know the truth, he DOESN’T think you are average looking. He thinks you are beautiful but he knows YOU don’t think you are beautiful. So he says dirty stuff like “Meh, you’re average.” just to keep you in check. Trust me I have dated a few of those jokers.

  • Mc Hammer

    Some of these characteristics pertain to some women. I once dated a female that talk down to waiter/waitress, and that was a huge turn off for me. There are a lot of females out that are creeps as well.

  • OnlySpeakDatruth

    The number one sign of a jerk is someone who is abusive (mental, physical and emotional)… That is an EXTREME jerk tendency..

  • OnlySpeakDatruth

    How about getting his date to pay dinner? Another one, a guy who is materialistic!! A major turn off… I am not saying dress like a bum, but if everything is a designer label and you still live at home with your mom, oh yeah that’s a problem…

  • Melle

    Really, I can’t get mad at the remote thing. You women shouldn’t either. If the game is on, I’m not interested in watching Lifetime.

    • ab

      that shows you’re a jerk! keywords: you can’t SHARE or COMPROMISE

      • Yaya

        Disagree coz I’m sure if they can watch all the soaps and shows we watch everyday (that they probably have noo intrest in) a woman should be able to compromise on watching ONE football game without having to change the channel every now and then

  • IllyPhilly

    If he goes by Lil’, Young, Big, or any adjective for that matter in his name is a jerk.

  • IllyPhilly

    If he goes by Lil’, Young, Big, or any adjective for that matter in his name is a jerk.

  • yey

    We all have dated someone like that once u live and learn

    • OnlySpeakDatruth

      Preach…. Yeah, been there and done that, now I am with someone who has zero qualities on that list!!!

      • NVAdamzz

        He even gives you…*gaaaasp* THE REMOTE!!!???? Lolz!!

        • OnlySpeakDatruth

          Lmao, yes…

  • Fashion lover

    Obnoxious to waiters is a deal breaker for me

    • L-Boogie

      Me too. It indicates a lot about how he views people. And if you are with him long enough and do things for him how he will treat you.

    • L-Boogie

      Me too. It indicates a lot about how he views people. And if you are with him long enough and do things for him how he will treat you.

  • bluekissess

    This list isn’t informative

    • Berry

      Oh yes it is

    • KourageousKya

      Ikr! Its really not, ALL women should know when a guy is being a a**! It’s not rocket science!! All of these sounds like a guy that should be by his d*m self!!

    • KourageousKya

      Ikr! Its really not, ALL women should know when a guy is being a a**! It’s not rocket science!! All of these sounds like a guy that should be by his d*m self!!