Your Ex Wants To Be “Friends,” And He’s in a New Relationship: Good or Bad Idea?

14 Comments
May 1, 2012 ‐ By Clarke Gail Baines

You know the song, “Why can’t we be friends?” I know that’s everyone’s jam and what not, but sometimes, there are just some people in life that you can’t get too friendly with. Are ex-boyfriends some of those people? Depends on your situation.

In the past, I’ve come out of a serious relationship with a guy, gone through the Roscoe-from-“Martin” snotty nose and a face full of tears, played all the Mary I could, and cried to my mom for about an hour, only to come out on the other side happy and glad to move on. My ex did the same–without all the dramatics–and even got himself together to start a new relationship. While I had no issue with that, I should have had an issue with the fact that he wanted to still be friends with me. “We were friends before all this and I don’t want to lose that.” Riiiight.

So like the fool I was, not necessarily hoping or thinking we were going to get back together, but not seeing why being his friend would be a problem, I agreed we could be cool. Boy, was that the worst idea of all time. That friendship didn’t work out for a majority of reasons, some I shall share with you in a second, and it helped me realize that with some people, when you’re done with them, you really need to be done. If you think you want to be friends with your ex, keep an eye out for these habits/signs and keep in mind the following things, because he could end up being as much of an issue as he was when you were in an actual relationship.

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  • lisam

    I can see myself with this man for the rest of my life, but was did not grow up on marriage, it has never been a big deal with my family, so I didn’t feel as though as i needed papers to prove to my man that i wanted to spend my life with him..he on the other hand wants marriage and kids, so he decided that we shouldn’t be together… I love him to death, and am hurting so much inside, but i feel as though if he can show me the importance of marriage i will give it all to him. what do i do

  • L-Boogie

    Leave them alone.  

  • Rah Truth

    So, we’re just gonna sit here and act like we don’t know what he’s REALLY saying??? Ya tu sabe! lol

  • Sabrina

    I hate these ads that always play every time I click on a page!! I can never jam out to my iTunes or YouTube peacefully while browsing through the website, ugh!

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  • Tee

    Only when kids are involved

  • Ladybug94

    What would be the purpose or necessity?

  • Cha Cha

    My ex and I have remained friends since our break up about six years ago. He’s been in other relationships, i’ve dated other people… it has never been an issue. We respect each other’s significant others, we respect each other in general. Neither of us has ever gotten out of line when it comes to the two of us… we are strictly friends. We just wanted different things in life, so we left each other to find that… Now, usually being friends with an ex doesn’t work… but every now and again…

    • Caroneisha

      Me and this guy was friends for what seemed like forever, I mean we knew each other since we was in elementary/middle school. So when we broke up (middle school/high school) we decided to still be friends, nothing more, nothing less. He was my homie, and he knew I was a all or nothing kind of chick. So we was cool, hell I was even cool with all of his girlfriends, jump-offs, and sidepieces. Then he met this chick who had a baby for him so he married her. She was cool to say the most, I mean she came to my house and we talked and everything. And it was a bonus that her older brother had been a friend of mine for sometime, everything was cool. Till for some reason she started getting real jealous of me, but she would act like she wasn’t. Yea, she was the type to smile in my face but talk about me behind my back. I kinda knew it from day one and the way she acted towards me. But when his family comfirmed it, I was so shocked. So I confronted her about it and of course she denied it, but I knew. So to make a long story short, I had to cut him off cause she began starting drama. Like calling him whenever he wasn’t at home to ask if I was there and all kinds of ish. And I guess she threatened to take his son away from him if he didn’t stop talking to me. His family and her has gotten into it plenty of times because of that. So I jus decided to cut him off, to save him the headache.

  • eve

    I swear that all spill is how my divorce has play out unbeliveable so, so tru

  • Alicia

    Most of the time ‘let’s remain friends’ is code for ‘l want to keep you in my life because I’m unsure of where this new relationship is going,so since you already know me and what I like let’s fool around until I figure out what I’m gonna do.’

    • really?

      ^^this!!

    • Ms_Sunshine9898

       LOL girl not only do we share the same name but apparently the same brain!