Intuition or Evidence: 6 Signs He Has A Chick On The Side

54 comments
April 13, 2012 ‐ By Kariba Lang Williams

 

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Every day, women are plagued with thoughts of uncertainty with regard to their partner’s fidelity. Even the most secure women have times of vulnerability. We’re taught to trust our instincts but that lesson is challenged by forced logic, as we control our natural impulses in an effort to save face. No one wants to deal with being cheated on, but if the signs are there, maybe it’s time we wake up and smell the coffee. Don’t ignore these small but pretty clear signs.

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Consistent Arguments

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Private Phone Calls

He’s privy to most of your conversations because you have nothing to hide. For the most part, he still takes calls in front of you, but every so often, he gets a phone call that he must excuse himself to take. If you ask him who it was, he will easily tell you that it was his cousin, a friend, or nobody important. And if he’s unable to excuse himself for some reason, he quickly states to the caller that he has to hit them back and hangs up pretty fast. Suspicious, much?

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  • salli lucas

    Its true. I noticed a few items along with guttal intuition and kicked him to the curb. He became angry because I wouldn’t play his game. For the record, he denied everything but I feel better now that I’m not second guessing myself. Now I’m free to find someone who wants to be with me and only me.

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  • FromUR2UB

    Forgot one: Fault-finding.  

    He wants you to cut your hair if it’s long, grow it if it’s short.  You put too much of something in the meal or not enough.  Anyway, he’s suddenly critical of everything because he’s thinking about the other chick.  That’s sometimes how those arguments get started so that he has an excuse to get out of the house.  

    When women suspect a man is cheating, it’s usually because he’s behaving in a way that arouses suspicion.  They’re not even clever about it.  The plan seems to be deny, deny, deny if confronted.  Women believe them when they say it’s all in her head, because she doesn’t want to have to do the uncomfortable stuff. 

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  • YouBettaKnow

    That’s why you just put aside a fun fund and go buy some cat from a brothel or massage parlor every now and then. Problem solved… and SUE ME!

  • Jimmy Swaggerd

    Here’s the thing… banging random chicks is a really fun hobby!!  It’s super duper fun!  BUT… since your in a relaitonship, you gotta find a new fun hobby (or hobbies).  You absolutely must! Otherwise you’ll revert back to your old hobby of banging chicks, resulting in a broken relationship.  And it’s best that your new hobby involve your lady.  Maybe it’s shooting pool together at your local bar.  Maybe it’s shooting guns together.  Whatever it is, figure it out and be honest with yourself.  Sad to say it, but you gotta have a chick who’s EVEN MORE fun to hang out with than the homies.
     
    (If this doesn’t work, then you’re not ready for a serious relationship. So don’t cheat, be a MAN and break up with the chick! And don’t get all scared when it comes time to do it!)

  • Armatboy

    First off it’s common courtesy to not answer your in front of people learn manners. Second real men don’t argue. You only check your spouse phone if your insecure obviously you need to check yourself it’s something your not doing. Finally it’s some places you can’t answer your phone work, driving it’s against the law just to name a few stop getting info from the media that’s why your relationship does not work only thing I agree with is you need to communicate try taliking instead of being private investigators

    • Guest

      “First off it’s common courtesy to not answer your in front of people learn manners.”

      According to your logic, if you live with someone, you should never answer your phone since someone else is there.

      “Second real men don’t argue.”

      What? EVERY HUMAN BEING ARGUES (maybe Mr. Rogers didn’t, but he’s a special case). Real PEOPLE argue.

      “You only check your spouse phone if your insecure obviously you need to check yourself it’s something your not doing.”

      What if they have a game on their phone that you don’t have? You go to pick up their phone and they start going crazy. You’re telling me that’s not a sign of a guilty conscience?

    • J Pie

      The article does say “he used to do this… and now he insists on privacy” which is different from a partner having a consistent boundary. If a man always excuses himself from a conversation to take a call, that’s one thing, but if he just starts to behave differently and he’s not open to you about what’s up in his life, that’s a sign that something might be up.

      The article just writes about common changes cheaters have. It’s not saying if a man does any of these Alert Alert Alert.

  • Dicky_Normous

    I’ve never been in a serious relationship where I’ve cheated but I have observed my older cousin cheat on his girlfriends and now wife for years. While some of these things are spot on, like the one with the phone and hanging with the boys more, if these signs are there it doesn’t mean he’s cheating and if aren’t there it doesn’t mean he’s not. My cousin always told me the key is to make sure the side chick knows that she is just that, a side chick. That way she knows the appropriate times to call him and she doesn’t expect to see him much. I can’t really tell if his wife suspects anything but from what I’ve seen he’s never been caught. Sad too, seeing that’s she’s such a nice lady

  • So_What

    Hey People:  I’ve got a new one.  When he or she say that they are going through something right now and need some peace……………this folks are cheating. 

    The other person is apart of that relationship to offer support (most of the times).  When people want to ALWAYS all of a sudden be alone, they are trying to decide WHO and WHAT to do.

    And don’t get me wrong, preferences and choices are cool, but don’t hurt or use others in the process.

  • diva

    You know the signs when he (or she) is doing things that are totally OPPOSITE Of what they used to do especially when its done WITHOUT YOU! And I totally agree w/ @KICIA_GU staying for the sake of your kids will give a bad example of what kind of self-esteem you have, and makes you look desperate!

  • Comedyclick1

    This is why Black woman are the most single women in America. INSECURITY!!!! I have been with my wife over 15 years and have never strayed. If you know ur man and keep active in his life you wont have to worry about him leaving. Get off his back and deal with your self esteem issues before u approach him. STop bringing baggage from ur past relationships and listening to your bitter friends with multiple ‘babY daddy’s” (who also dont have a man), also stop dealing with men who are above u pay grade when u dont have a thing to offer and u might have a better relationship!!!

    • Somethingtothinkabout

      I didn’t know this article was addressed to Black women only.  And, most of the successful Black women I know marry/date men who are pay grades BELOW them, since some successful black men choose to share their wealth and success with others.  I’m so ready for a time when Black men and women can come together instead of giving each other the “angry” label.

  • Ladylibra1974

    too many ads…im using a turbo speed internet connection and constantly have to reload each page to see all six signs…takes too long and the page jumps while loading. uuugggh…

    • Guest

       Check out AdBlock ;-)

  • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

    Unless he’s supporting you or you are unfortunate enough to be stuck with his kids, TIME TO TOSS THAT A$$ LIKE STALE MOLDED BREAD! BETTER THINGS AWAIT!

    • Kicia_gu

      I’d toss him, even if we have kids together.  I hate the “we in it for the kids” reason.

  • imhislady

    Omg this is so true! When I found out my husband was cheating first it was going out and stayn out til the morning he never did that. But he started doing it often. He always called me on breaks at work he stopped and had excuses. Then if I tried to use his phone he would go crazy he never did that before. the shoulder tap everythng is on point!

  • TBarz365

    I Don’t Think These Are Great Reasons At All… I Don’t Do Any Of These Things To My Girl, But If I Did, Cheating Definitely Wouldn’t Be The Reason… The Phone Password Thing Is Dumb, Are People Not Allowed Privacy In Relationships?

    • Guest

      Of course one is entitled to privacy – but if your spouse never had a password before and all of a sudden, they do…well, it’s suspicious. My husband and I have each other’s passwords for everything, but neither one of us checks up on the other. If my husband were to suddenly change his passwords, I would think something was funny.

  • Mssroney

    My gawd. I’m getting cheated on. Lol this is so dumb and vague

  • Goziem

    I endured this for 7 months with d writing on the wall but i wont call it quits until he did. The articlle is true.

  • Annelli

    Simply put…people that have nothing to hide, HIDE NOTHING.

  • la

    Simple information for the simple mind – you will tur women paranoid with this nonsense!

    • Jzzz

      JZZ

  • got me thinkin

    I agree on somethings on this article…I know I had some of those signs with my last relationship…he literally picked a fight with me out of no where for nothing at all, and it ended really bad…however if i know him since he’s a repeat offender when it comes to letting someone go he will find the faults and flaws with the side chick who is now i guess his main chick and try to come back…however that door wont be open anymore….

    • imhislady

      They always do that. Make the other girl look so bad like her housekeeping skills or she is a h** all type of bad things

  • @SlimFromDC

    I don’t know if this is correct cause when men cheat and have a women on the side there is usually no arguments with the main women because you really are happy to get extra booty and if a man don’t let his side piece know that he have a main women that’s when he mess up got to let them know off top so there is no confusion and never give them your main number

    • Sam

      What???

    • Yogi

      Once again, a bunch of run on sentences that no one can understand ……

      • Gigi

        Lol.. to funny rrun sentences..

        • Gigi

          Then I as well have a typo haha …

    • imhislady

      You have obviously been cheated on or at least with someone you live with my husband was my best friend we wud hardly argue. When he started cheating he was always irritated and like they said go take a walk and wudnt answer my calls. Come to find out the girl was picking him up a couple of blocks from our home. Its just to get time to b with the other woman.

      • Rachael

         Exactly. A man who knows he has a good woman at home but cheats anyway will feel guilt and will be irritated because of that guilt.

        • NumeroUno

          Well Rachael not all men feel “guilt”. I cant describe it but some of us feel like we look “no good” when women think we are cheating on them. Stop over thinking everything because it will only drive everyone crazy. And for those who made us feel “no good” relax and get some sleep, we still got love for you.

  • Armatboy

    I can tell the person writing this is alone and insecure

    • Rachael

       I can tell your a cheating heaux and this article is tugging at your conscience.

      • Armatboy

        Not at all if your in a relationship you need space to have something to talk about just becuase you go out and don’t answer your phone does not mean your cheating and if your arguing there must be a problem at home your insecure and it’s tugging your chain I’ve been married for ten years and were as happy as can be sit your unhappy self down

        • Rachael

           ZZZZZZZZZ Yeah I wasn’t reading that bull. Have a seat BOY and let the grownfolks speak on this!

      • Armatboy

        Get a life I can tell your miserable and I don’t want the company

    • Somethingtothinkabout

      I’ve been the main chick and the side chick.  Everything this article mentioned was so far so good.  (1) If he wanted to see and me, and everything was good at home, he would start a fight and leave for hours.  (2)  He was taking phone calls either in the hallway, his car or the bathroom.  (3)  He didn’t believe in locking his phone, so his woman always read our dirty text messages.  He would pretend to go the club and come straight over my house for dinner and stay until like 5-6am – the usual time he would come home from clubbing.  (4) When I actually spoke to his woman (who eventually called me)…I asked her how did she know he was cheating, and she named most of the items from this list.  

      These are good clues…it doesn’t always mean your lover/spouse is cheating, but it could be a good sign that maybe they are or about to. 

      • Armatboy

        Sis you need to change your lifestyle

        • Somethingtothinkabout

          I said I’ve worn those shoes before, not something I’m proud of, but I can admit that I have.  I’m not in that situation anymore.  It was just funny for me to see people disagree, when I know for a fact that some of it is true.

        • Rachael

          And she just shut your sorry fruity behind up. Now go sit your judgmental behind in the corner. You need to change your life and get off a WOMANS blog. Fruit cake.

          • Armatboy

            See i was on here with my wife you know a relationship something you will never know about you deal with dogs all they will do is bury there bone right now were laughing at you misery loves company lol

            • Womanifesto

              She must be miserable. She’s so angry in her comments. Geez. Just continue to take care of your relationship while she continues to be immature.

      • Leah

        All of this except for his phone sounds like…. but I truly hope not because we have been married for 33yrs & have had 7 children & 4 grandkids. He(my husband) told me once not to ever bring it up not to talk about it because he has been faithful to you ever since I have known you & never kissed another woman he said to me. What do you think? & what should I do?

  • Ped_kia82

    Hmmmm….

No thanks