“Ask a Black Man” Cast – Meet Devale Ellis

89 Comments
April 3, 2012 ‐ By jade

Several of you mentioned you wanted to see some married men on the panel, and Devale is very much a happily married man. A proud father and husband, we think Devale brings a unique perspective to the cast. Devale appears on “Episode 2:The Dating Episode” and  he will also be appearing on “Episode 4: The Marriage Episode,” later this month.

Meet Devale

Age: 27

Relationship Status: Married

Occupation: Actor/Entrepreneur

Links: Facebook, Acting Reel, PressPassTV Feature, ESPN The Mag Feature

In 3 words, how would your friends describe you? Funny, Driven, Outspoken

What are the main characteristics/qualities that you look for in a woman? Beauty, Nurturing, Sense of Humor

What are your favorite hobbies? Bowling, Movies

What are your top 3 favorite books to read? The Alchemist, Rich Dad Poor Dad, From Good to Great

Who is your favorite artist?

Favorite movie of all time? Bad Boyz

When you think of black women, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Angry

What’s your favorite quote and why? “Hard work beats talent when talent doesnt work hard.” Hard work is the ultimate equalizer in a world where everything is unfair, the privileged get all the help, and we all look down on cheaters.

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  • Just saying

    Black women are so sensitive! They can’t even take any critics and are overly defensive. Of course not all black women are “angry” , but a bunch of them are bitter bad attitude loud mouth creatures!

  • BTJ lover

    I’m not “Angry”. This is my thinking face! geez Devale…….lol

  • Mrs. Holloway

    You are great! And dont let no other woman than your WIFE tell you that you’re not! I’m married as well (Newlywed) And I have to agree with alot of your view points on marriage. It makes so much more sense to me, to just be straight forward or “direct” about expressing your needs. You save time, efforts, and wasted emotions just by being free to express yourself. I truly enjoy your view points, whether they’re provocative (provoking) or delightful, because bottom line, you’re REAL.

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  • Bladerp1

    Wow.. I came on here to read this because my wife, a fine smart black women asked me to and this is amazing.  The man is just stating an opinion maybe from his experiences. Now we know all black women are’t angry and don’t come off as angry but some do. Just like we know all black men aren’t thugs,aren’t on drugs ,aren’t sleeping with everybody like a lot of black women like to talk out about. My wife and I are just regular folks ho are educated,imperfect and most our family and friends are married black folks who own things and take care of our families. The ignorant men and women who happen to be black just reap what they sow.

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  • SimSimma

    hahaha….all these “angry” responses are just proving Devale right…smh.  I’m a strong, independent, extremely opinionated black woman…and I was NOT  offended by that statement.  Maybe some people have a guilty conscience.  #shrugs  THIS is why it’s sooo hard for men to have candid conversations with women…WE, women, are wayyy to emotional to handle the truth.  And I’m not throwing stones, b/c I’m guilty as charged also.  I agree with Devale..and I expected wayyy more “why’s” than “put-downs” in the commentary.  If “angry” is what he first thinks of when he thinks of a black woman…THAT’S HIS PEROGATIVE! He is his own man with his own opinion….everyone’s opinion is worth hearing.  You can’t live life without opposition…you don’t have to accept it…but listening and at least agreeing to disagree is apart of maturity.  Grow Up!  Everyone’s experience shape their reality…and you can’t fault anyone for having an opinion based on their personal experience. Listen. Learn. Teach.   smh at some of you….MOST of you.

    • Anonymous

      hahaha at your ignorance. The term, “angry’ is not a new word. So, no need to ask why Devale thought that. Yes, I do agree some black women need to work on their attitude. Every women has their problems, I want black people to learn how to give constructive criticism. You think white men, latino men, Asian men don’t have something negative to say about their own women but they dare not come out to talk about it, bcos they know better. They understand brotherhood, sisterhood, I might not like you but I will not go out there to diss you.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/NAQ3DAWTSNDWDUON7H2ZEBWLFA Robert

         People just need to mind their own business and be decent individuals. There are strong black MEN and strong black WOMEN who take care of themselves and their families. There are also ignorant sad black men and ignorant sad black women. These are choices of the person. Find out what your purpose in life is as a positive productive member of society and you wont fall for divide and conquer game that was set up by our early history. The old white guard has really done a number on black america. Come on we are stronger and better than this.

  • A F

    I find this young man’s train of thought when discussing Black women very enlightening. In his words, he first thought thick/curvy, then cooking, then angry. I’m not interested in debating whether these are true or not; I’m sure my comments will not sway his opinion. I would just like to point out that his thoughts align with three stereotypes atributed to Blk women: Jezebel, Mammy, and Sapphire. For someone, who professes his relationships with various Blk women, he does not appear to think about them in terms of all the very complexities that he has first-hand exposure to (supposedly). Rather, he rests on these tried and true stereotypes. Very interesting… If I were told to summarize Black men, I would try to think of something that encompasses all the good and bad, everything that I have had the pleasure or chagrin of being exposed to. And…. he didn’t. Lets me know what he considers the most prominent quality in Black women. I’m not mad at him for his opinion. It’s just…. interesting.

  • Femme

    Lol, at first I saw 75 Comments and said wow, the thirst is REAL. Then I scrolled through and realized…a lot of people, (women I assume) are upset at some of the things this cat says on the show. Won’t make this too long but I will say he’s not wrong or right. What he said is what A LOT of people think black woman are, in general. I’m black, female, 20, in school and STRESSED. As a young black woman, I currently fit the stereotypical angry black woman. We as black women wear this mask of utter disdain (when we’re unhappy) in public and some of our faces are just that way while keeping a straight face. It’s not our fault that people assume we’re upset all the time. We have “ratchet” black women who give ALL OF US a bad rep. I wish men/people in general could differentiate the two but I’m just saying, if you catch offense to it, you’re probably guilty of this act, whether you’re aware while doing it or not. =

  • Heather

    I feel very sorry for all these black women who are agreeing with this angry comment. You may think that yes some black women are angry, but to agree that the FIRST word that comes to mind when you think of black women is angry is quite pathetic. And to turn around and say all the angry comments prove this point is quite circular. If you say incendiary things and people get upset, it does not mean you are right. It means you’re a jackass that likes to get people fired up. I just fell upon the Ask a Black Man series and enjoyed the previous 3 episodes but if this is a preview of what will be on the next episode, I will not be watching. Oh and this think they have va**inas comment is quite offensive. This guy is really a prince. 

  • NaturallyMoni

    Devale, I have to agree with your “angry comment” and this is coming from a black mother of an african american son. I know you and your wife just had a son, so I’m feeling where you’re coming from. My husband and I talk with our son on a daily just to get whats going on in his head. This is also coming from an 14 year old.  He is a freshman in high school and his response about black girls are the EXACT same ANGRY! No he does’nt wear his pants sagging, saying “whats up for tonight Ma” but thats what majority black girls want to hear. Don’t tell me NO because if we have a panel of good guys and bad guys females will SAY good guy but CHOOSE the bad guys. REMEMBER  action speaks louder than words. If we had more Barack and Michelle Obama relationships out there we would not have so many angry black women. We are what we attract right. Moving on, We raised him to be a respectful black male, smart, handsome, plays saxophone. Because of this, black girls give him Nooooo play which is cool because he’s too young anyway. I know this, however, these same angry black girls raised by most of the time angry black women grow up to be angry black women. I have been around the world, many races and  its true most Black women are hurt more than anything. So we made it a point to give the new generation some type of hope that there are good black men out ther for them. My dream is for him to marry a strong, smart, beautiful BLACK woman. It just hurts that in 2012 he still gets the neck popping, rolling of the eyes from our black sisters. Yes he’s only 14 but will be a black man soon. If you are tired of the black man holding hands with the other race please EXPLAIN why you’ve turned your back on my brothers and now my son?

  • Peaches

    If you guys get a chance you should read the posts Devale put on the Extended Cut Episode about dating and see how he speaks about his wife. He adores that woman and also states that the very things that people say about black women are the very reasons why he married her. I think you guys are missing the point. Look at the other mens pages. They have between 2 & 7 comments, which shows that Devale’s plan to bring focus to what he wanted to say worked. Saying the expected answer and being “NICE” didn’t bring all of us to the other pages, but being controversial brought us all here. If you are smart enough to read the entire thread, he as a black man is actually taking ownership for the negative stereotypes that plague black women. He said, “The destruction of our households were not done accidentally. Black women are raised to have their own, be independent and be strong, qualities that are not pushed in other cultures because they dont have to. Then black women are penalized for being strong and independent by the very men they raised.” He is not at all giving black men a way out. Because he used ANGRY I for one have been back on the site every 12 hours to read responses from the ladies and listen what he has to say. For the past week he has done nothing but praise black women and his wife for our strength and it bothers me that women are attacking him and his wife. Only making what he said seem true. I for one respect what he has done here. Not to mention the fact that all the men I have shared this with said he is telling the truth on his episode and in his profile. 

  • beauty

    If you want a conversation, you don’t start with an attack especially one that has negative connotation to it. Black people are very good at pointing fingers, no constructive criticism whatsoever. I am the black girl who is accused of acting, dressing and talking white because I don’t fit into the angry or bad attitude stereotype. However, you don’t solve fire with fire. Majority of black women, know these stereotypes about them and why these stereotypes exist, nothing new. It’s just like your parent telling you over and over what you do wrong but not telling you or showing you the other way.  How do you learn? One thing I will say is, black people in general have to be more open to therapy and counseling. There’s a reason why someone act the way they do especially for the fact that we have come a long way. Learn to talk about your issues and how to deal with it. I will like to encourage black men to do better than just pointing fingers, running away from the situation, laughing about it, vice versa. I guess, Devale is also referring to his wife. I hope he’s helping her deal with it as opposed to just labeling her as “angry”.

  • moviemonk

    Wow…Reading all of this reminds me of some truths.. Logic is not common place. A person should be smart enough that when a statement is made that may or may not include them, that person treats it as such. In a Tandy world, the phrase “Not All” should be understood. I agree with Devale and his honesty. Usually the squeaky wheel, squeals the loudest. Unfortunately some of us cant process logic. If it does not apply to you, dont take it personally. It kind of telling when women post statements here where they themselves have seen the undercurrent of anger in other black women. Also women have made the point here that when women make broad, stereotypical statements about men, the backlash is low if not damn near nonexistent.  Women pride themselves on being the more verbal gender. Why cant you have a conversation with statements made, evaluation, then responses. Instead of statements, emotional reactions, then restating the previous emotional reactions. The trumphet sounds on the end of black male/female relationships. Period.

  • beauty

    I’m so tired of anger and bad attitude being associated with every black woman. Imagine someone asking me about black men then I answer, locked up. It makes no sense. He should have simply said misunderstood, knowing that it’s a sensitive word.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rita-S-h-Deroverre/100000152487059 Rita S-h Deroverre

    For everyone that agrees with Black women being described as Angry it sad..When u say Black women ur not talkin about a couple smh My family is black and we sure are happy Black women and I’ve met a lot of happy black women so dont fall for the stereotype and agree with it because it ignorant

  • guest

    Looking at all the “ANGRY” comments from so many women proves his point. I’m a black women and I know plenty of angry black women and women of all different races. I’m shocked that so many women would just get so upset about something that they say doesn’t apply to them. Why would his comment effect you so much? Everyone is entitled to what they believe someone else is like. I know personally I have generialized men, women, black and white people all the time. I have that right as a person to have my opinoin about someone. Even if what Im saying isn’t true and doesn’t really apply to the group as an all. I think women need to stop jumping staight to defense mode and maybe people would stop jumping too the conclusion that all black women are”ANGRY”.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rita-S-h-Deroverre/100000152487059 Rita S-h Deroverre

      “All” that ignorant it like saying All black men dont take care of their kids or All white ppl are educated…Dont fall for the stereotype the media got u people fucked up and yess there are some angry black women but not all Get ur Facts right Until u meet all the black women in the world then u can agree with that

    • beauty

      No, it doesn’t prove anything. Every ethnic group, sex has stereotypes about them but black women have the most negative stereotypes. It’s frustrating, because people always think of negativity when it comes to black women. I know, some black women need to work on their attitude but why don’t people acknowledge the majority of black women who don’t have attitude. It’s even worse that black men join in instead of helping. I don’t see non black men joining in when people say something about their women.

  • ReesyPiecey

    Yeah minus 100pts for angry.  If what he says about growing up around 5 black women and being married to one and loving them etc is true there should be A LOT more positive things that come to mind first than angry.  That’s ridiculous.

  • http://twitter.com/POWTV Birch

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I can’t stop laughing. Like why dude got 60 comments on his page? hahahahahaha Angry? damn Devale…. you shoulda known better 

  • Babee

    I’m a black girl and I think a lot of black women are angry. Whenever I try to talk to some and be nice to them, they’re always rude to me. And they think I’m white washed just cause I’m not ghetto and I laugh a lot, oh well.

    • http://twitter.com/POWTV Birch

      white washed? nice :)

  • http://www.therealityrehab.com/ Nycole Whitney

    First off, why do you ladies feel it necessary to attack him? Yes this a site to uplift and empower women, but he clearly has a right to his own opinion. And honestly you all are very defensive and acting like some “angry” birds! lol …. but seriously tho its not about what your called but what you answer to!!! So if the show fits, then get your life together! 

    • Andrea243

      wel if he chooses to put his opinion on i have the right to do the same. I understand you wanting to calm everyone down, but in his words said he said “angry” to stir it up. I don’t think theres ne thing wrong with stating how I feel as a black woman, and the fact that he is wrong for this and you making excuses for him.

      • Mélia

        I don’t think that there’s a right or wrong in what he said. There’s sensitive and insensitive. Maybe he should have paraphrased like so… ” Tendency to lash out when facing criticism ”.  You ALL need to sit down somewhere and do some introspection. Could it be just that? Are black women angry but they just don’t know it? Maybe it’s because the anger we feel is justified so we feel like it’s normal and acceptable to be angry. See… this is what I was talking about, ” introspection ”. Personally, I don’t think Devale made a judgement but more of an observation. That comment of his could have stemmed an introspective, self revealing and interessting conversation but people rather waste time pointing fingers and angrily arguing about how them being angry is justified therefor– for lack of better words,  a non motherf*ckin factor. 

        • Andrea243

          yes an observation about his environment, and that is the problem.Blanket statements should be adressed. Yes there are angry and bitter black women, but all are not are….thats all im saying. The people “wasting time” are not writing long paragraphs. I also think your input is a non motherf*ckin factor to this conversation.

          • Peaches

            I didnt read anywhere that he said “all”. Infact I did read him say some can express their passions while others just get angry. I think you guys are really running with the negative and missing the general message. IF you took the time to read his responses. And I don’t get it. If we shouldn’t hear how our men view us in our own forum, when should we hear it. I mean, this site was created by blacks, for blacks. I’d rather read it here than on Dateline NBC. The funny thing is that I hear black women say all the time how angry they are at brothers. I guess we just don’t want to hear them say it. I applaude his honesty. Brave dude for this one.

  • ok_dayumm

    See..this is what Black women have to deal with……Why is it that every time WE have an opinion about something (such as the subject at hand) and we choose to express that opinion, then we’re considered angry? Why is that? Why can’t it just be our opinion that there is something really really WRONG with a Black man who first thinks of angry when he hears the words Black and woman together? Many people don’t like opinionated people in general, then especially a woman with an opinion; and the NERVEof a Black woman to have an opinion…on no get  out!!!! But I’m going to continue to express myself when I see fit…..no, not loud, not boisterous, and not angry….Just my opinion. This issue is one that Black women across all walks of life have to contend with everyday….the stereotyping. Someone said that it was dumb of someone to bring up the Trayvon Martin case here…but I see the similarities. We’re all TIRED of being STEREOTYPED! If your family and friends are the angry ones then talk about them specifically, but don’t put that on an entire race of women. I guess if I ever could admit that I was the angry Black woman in a relationship it was when I was with a Black man whom I felt didn’t have my back. As a race we get enough flack from society……..how about some love from our own????

  • Just saying

    I must say I’m pretty shocked at the response Devale’s getting. This is coming from a black African woman born and raised in Canada. I’ve spent some time in the US and I’ve gotten to know some black American women and I find the word ”angry” pretty accurate to describe the vibe I’ve gotten from most of them. I understand that I haven’t had nearly enough exposure to black Americans to have a solid point of view but I think it’s worth a try. I’m not saying the anger isn’t justified, but it’s still there. We all go through some things in life but that’s not the point. The goal is to deal with it all with grace and optimism. Were all black and were all women, we can’t change the circumstances we were born in but we sure as hell can change the ones we live in. It’s not about what you’re going through but how you learn from those experiences and how you manage to get through them. Pouting and shouting and ranting about how misunderstood we are isn’t moving us forward one bit. I think the problem isn’t that you’re angry but how you manage that anger and how much place you let that anger take up in your life. If what you’re looking for is a justification for being angry, you got it. Being a black woman, regardless of your cultural background, is hard. But what’s new about that? 

    • http://twitter.com/POWTV Birch

      Canadian women are awesome. Especially Melyssa Ford…. aoooowwwww

  • Voice of reason

    My issue with segments like this are that men like Devale get killed for doing what the producers asked. I’m pretty sure they didn’t ask any of the men to be nice or watch their mouth and he decided to be honest. I have 4 brothers and they all speak the same way about us (black women). Alot of time I find myself saying the same thing when dealing with my sisters. Here we have a young black man who gave his opinion, when asked, and is getting murdered. The thing that really pisses me off is that the loud, angry, bitter black women are always the first to respond for the rest of us and make things worst. Someone brought up Dr.King and Trayvon as if this was the forum to discuss that. This is getting ridiculous.

    Devale I hope you don’t think the women on this blog represent the majority of black women. #1 If we dont want to hear how others view us we need to stop asking!#2 Madam Noire needs to do a better job of screening the people allowed to post. These nut cases are making things worst.#3 Madam Noire should apologize to Devale and any other man that is being degraded for answering questions when asked. Allowing these women to degrade him makes us look so bad as black women.Final comment, The Anger comment had me puzzled but after reading the posts I get why he said it. The entitlement answer was to a question about pet peeves. Pet peeves are supposed to be negative. C’mon ladies if you think hard enough and step off your soap boxes you will realize that I’m right.You guys are on here bashing a young black man that is married to a sister, for answering a question with honesty and the dignity to explain.

    • Guest

      Honestly the comment did puzzle me for a moment, then I let it roll off my back because I’m not an angry black woman. However, I do agree that we should use the few platforms we have to uplift each other. Black people are beaten down so often its hard not to be angry. I’m so grateful that I know Jesus because I could have easily fallen into the “angry black woman” category. Devale, like everyone else on this site, is entitled to express his opinion. That’s all it is an opinion ladies, don’t let it ruin your day. Devale doesn’t know you so why waste your energy going back and forth with the issue. I rather spend my time concentrating on the man who loves me and thinks I’m beautiful. I suggest you all do the same. Have a blessed one!

    • http://twitter.com/POWTV Birch

      V.O.R. I really tried to be nice in  the screening process and they told me go ahead and be yourself and say what you feel…………

  • OneNation

    Devale… I am not a Black woman and I have been following you since the facebook post and I just want to let you know, that you are the one that sounds so immature. You definitely have alot to experience and learn. If you are encountering “Angry” Black women or women that feel “entitled” perhaps it may be you that is attracting those type of women. Now if your married to a black woman and that’s how you feel about her, then maybe you are causing her to be angry. In a post below you told one of the women that commented that she dates black men not black women.. Well I want to let you know that from experience I have dated both Black women and Black men.I have dated ghetto, I have dated high class, I have dated middle class, even broke mofos. Regardless of the class, the age or even the walk of life they came from or were headed.. I want to let you know that dating black women was the most interesting part of my life, they were not angry.. they were hard working,independent and PASSIONATE> I learned how to start and RUN my OWN business by being with a BLACK woman and I learned how to cook the most delicious dishes, I learned struggle and what it takes to get things done.I have also dated BLACK men ….even MEN like YOU. Men that were not willing to work hard…playing the victim all they time…and i realized it was the type of men I was around. I finally stepped out the box and found a black man from a totally different culture and walk of life, close to God and completely HARD WORKING>.. the RESULTS> were amazing. I understand why you would call women angry its because dealing with a man like you…. they had to be aggressive, independent and hard working….and believe it or not the most successful/intelligent BLACK people in the world have V*ginas …… its not a entitlement, we deserve to be treated like a QUEEN or yoAZZ wouldnt be here today…niether would your baby!..

    • http://twitter.com/POWTV Birch

      You date men and women @thesamedamntime awesome!!!!

  • Miss B

    I appreciate your honesty Devale, simply because it was just that, honest. & to be real, the way some people responded to this, I’m sure only reinforced your opinion. I think when you view black woman as a whole it’s understandable for someone to think of the word angry; it’s most commonly how we’re portrayed. Now that doesn’t mean we’re all like that which I think you’d agree to but, I think it’s essential for an indivisual to ask themselves that question before they ask you why you think the way you do. Seriously…are you an “angry black woman”? What are you going to do about it? Most importantly if we don’t have this type of open communication, where you should be able to freely & respectfully speak your mind, how will we really grow & understand one another? Although, I must say I am a little tired of men constantly schooling us on relationships and us being so willingly attentive when it doesn’t always seem to be the other way around.

    • Devale

      Thank you Miss B. I trully thought it would be okay to say what some men feel in a forum run by intelligent and ambitious black women. I was one of the very few married men on the panel so I had nothing to lose by being honest. Men have good and ba to say about women of all races. I obviously don’t see all black women as angry. I have never brought a woman home to my family that was not black. And I also understand that the honest responses in this forum do not represent the mass number of black women that view this site. When you make a statement like I made you have to be ready to accept the good with the bad. I hope that in reading my responses some have realized that I was not coming from a bad place. I will say it again. I love black women. I’m married to a very intelligent, opinionated black woman with her own career goals and accomplishments that compliment my own. Some men just cant appreciate the unyielding strength of a black woman created by our culture and I chose to put it out there. I admit my intent was lost in translation because the content was so vague, loaded and powerful, BUT if it weren’t for that comment some might not have been so willing to participate with such honesty. In a time where Political Correctness is valued more than honesty I am glad you can respect my open and honest opinion.

      • M Cook215

        Educated, opinionated, open-minded, women who are do not have boxed in opinions by our culture understand your point. I am a black woman and I feel that you are 100% correct when you say that angry. I experience relationships with other black women and   on a daily basis and can tell you that a lot of black women come across as angry…it is a sad truth and a hard pill to swallow ladies, but if you would allow it to digest and use that pill to make you a more open minded individual…. than you would be benefiting yourself 1000 times more. In any instance of living you receive criticism that you take, learn and grow… in grade school you took test to learn, and just because you didn’t get an A+ you would never go and shoot the teacher.  Claiming she was are an a**hole because she didn’t teach you… no you went back and studied harder….. to work towards getting good grades.. take a lesson from that in life women please… this man is honestly saying a black woman comes across as angry and giving valid reasons of why so lets take head to that…and work harder so that the next time you come across a black man, you….not him…you are changing what you women say is a misconception of black women today. 

    • Artscola

      WoW if more women could think like you!

  • Seni2299

    He needs to sit his butt down somewhere! Black men are full of themselves, and dont have anything to show for.

    • http://twitter.com/POWTV Birch

      wow this hurt……………… I’m sure a Black man gave you change for a dollar or held the door open at ONE point in your life….. don’t be like that :) 

  • ok_dayumm

    Wow!!!  Wonder how Devale’s wife feels knowing that he mainly sees her as an angry Black woman? Is she the reason that he feels this way? Hmmmm…..this is really sad. I see that he has commented here saying that he has sisters, aunts, etc., yet who is he basing this stereotype of Black women on if not from his experiences with his own family? Funny I have seen all sides of Black men (the good, the bad, and the ugly), yet I still love Black men and when I think of Black men certainly the first thing that comes to mind is definitely not all those negative stereotypes that society has about them.   P.S. I surely hope this doesn’t turn into another forum for bashing Black women, we surely don’t need that!

  • Mxstudent2012

    It’s funny how when he says Angry most of you women demonstrate your anger through these raging posts and questions. Of course not all Black women are angry, so if this doesn’t best describe you….get the hell on with your life & stop constantly looking for a reason to be offended and blow steam. After all, it is just one man’s opinion. Fell how’d you like…now let’s move on.

    • Happy Black Woman :)

       the thing is.. there is no THEM and US. When you say get the hell on with your life, youre saying someone else should take care of “this” Let them handle it because its THEIR problem. Let them speak some ignorant ish and have nothing to say but LOOK THE OTHER WAY..because it concerns you but not you. what are you talking about???  It does concern all of US “BLACK WOMEN”

    • Devale

      I have to say I agree and let me state again that I didn’t at anypoint say ALL BLACK WOMEN were ANGRY. I did infact say that some can eloquently express their passions about relationships with their male counterpart while others just get angry. There are good and bad in every race, they just happened to ask about black women and I chose to play Devil’s Advocate. You guys would trully question the credibility of this segment if all the men said the gineric answers that typically follow that question. 

      Lastly I’m sorry if I offended anyone with my candor and I apologize to Madam Noire if you lose followers. But just for the record my wife is BLACK and if you think my answer to the question is degrading to Black Women, your comments havn’t done much to help change that perception.

      • GUEST!

        I don’t understand why someone should be held down the throat for voicing their own perception and opinion. Seems to enforce the notion that women do not like to hear the truth. IMO!, there is always a bit of some truth to every stereotype, and only an ignorant person will believe that this stereotype applies to all persons concerned. Therefore it is our responsibility as black women to be an exception (if you want to) or try to fight this shadow with OUR ACTIONS! Many reply here are just re-enforcing the black angry woman stereotype. For the record, I am a proud black woman and don’t understand why everyone is getting worked up over another person’s opinion. You want black men to see you in a different light other than angry? Then let your actions speak for itself. 

    • http://twitter.com/POWTV Birch

      I likes me an angry woman. Besides angry women have the best s…… nevermind

  • Jojoaustin2002

    Dont be so hard on Devale. I know him and he’s a good dude. I know he wanted to start a debate but maybe using the word angry isn’t the best way to do it, especially since black women are perceived that way. It’s best to stay away from that word and use a more positive one. I hope he keeps his foot out of his mouth for further episodes or the woman will come down on him even harder and it will be deserved.

  • Smacks_hoes

    Judging by the comment section “angry” is now the first word I think of when describing black women…lol thanks alot guys

  • Devale

    So sad. Smh. I knew my answer would create dialogue but I figured more people would ask why I said angry. Not just get Angry. Smh. Next time I’ll just say beautiful and call it a day. Smh

    • Smacks_hoes

      Lol being that i seem to be the only one not angered by the statement…why did you say angry??

      • Devale

        Well Smacks (lol), I feel that black women have gone through way more than any other race. Most of our powerful black leaders and father figures were taken from us leaving single moms to raise men. The destruction of our households were not done accidentally. Black women are raised to have their own, be independent and be strong, qualities that are not pushed in other cultures because they dont have to. Then black women are penalized for being strong and independent by the very men they raised. That would make me angry if I were a black woman as well, but some black women find a way to eloquently express their passions and be strong without degrading their mates while others (like the ones that just attacked me without asking why lol) just get angry. 

        The fact of the matter is this, I’m no longer looking for a mate. I have a beautiful BLACK wife and a son so I have no reason NOT to say what many men feel. After all that was the purpose of partaking in this social experiment. I’m not using this as a dating site so the women that get upset and attack me are doing nothing but proving me right.

        I figured my statement would allow me to express my true feelings and since you asked I accomplished my goal. 

        • Smacks_hoes

          Good response …in my opinion your statement didn’t seem to come from an angry negative place. Therefor I wasn’t offended nor angered. I think people should have heard you out before attacking your character. Lol next time choose your words wisely before a gang of “angry” black women attack you again. (j/k)

          • Devale

            LOL! You are absolutely right. To be perfectly honest when I agreed to do this I checked out the site and figured there would be more questions than just angry responses. I figured the type of audience that this site attracts would spark a spirited debate. This is all a mess, now they just calling me names and calling my wife white. LMAO Whats next? This is really surprising but hey, you live and you learn. smh

            • NaturallyMoni

              Devale, Happy Friday to you! You are doing an  Awesome job. Your parents raised you well. As far as the “Angry” comment is concerned, well does’nt bother me one bit. I know and love myself Very much. Keep being Devale,honest and to the point. With all the lies women here day in and day out Your conversation in this series should be a breath of fresh air. I love it!  I am following the show and hope Noire will give you your own series, maybe even with your wife!

          • http://twitter.com/iCh3ryl Bornscorpion

            The term “angry black woman” is loaded with negativity and implications. At best, I appreciate your honesty, but logically you must have known your response would strike a nerve. However, I gotta roll with Smacks_hoes on this one. His sentiment not many want to hear much less accept an explanation for, so that man was shot from the gate no chaser (ask questions later).

        • Happy Black Woman :)

          its the only word you used to describe Black women “ANGRY” and there was nothing that followed after that. how about black women have depth, soul, kindness, nurturing, caring, beautiful lips, nice skin.. something positive. INNER STRENGTH like no other etc. You realize if someone in New Zealand Googled angry and black your article is might come up and that is what they are gonna run with, “black women are angry” even their own black men think so. I’m sure they are not gonna look for your side comment explanation of “what you really meant”.

          • Devale

            I understand your comment and your point is taken, but if someone is going to read part or even half of anything does their opinion of the article really matter? I went with “Angry” for the shock value to spark a debate. I mean this site is for entertainment isn’t it? This debate and the taping of the show was entertaining and enlightening. I really honestly thought more women would just ask me why I went with “angry” and not get offended. I just didn’t want to be cliche and say the typical answers men give when they are trying to come across as someone trying to get it in. Your comment actually made me think but look at some of the other comments and they have to make you think about why I said “Angry”

            • coco1love

              After reading your responses, I have a better understanding of your point of view. However, black women are tired of the stereotype and especially tired of black men co-signing on the stereotype. Perhaps it’s a righteous anger that has been sparked. Your follow up comment about BW being raised to be independent and being penalized for it was truly insightful and gave me pause to think. But I had to read the comments in order to realize that you were truly a thoughtful brother. To be honest most of us are going to get to the ‘angry’ part of the interview and say ‘Here we go again…I’m not trying to hear anything else he’s got to say.’ 

    • tiffanybbrown

      Let me explain it to you in simple terms: If a black woman was asked “What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of black men?” and she said “Cheaters,” you would not wonder why she said that. 

      Your reaction would probably be, “Not ALL black men cheat!” You might even say “Maybe you just have bad taste in men. Don’t get mad at us for that.” Or perhaps you would tsk, tsk her for believing and repeating such ugly stereotypes. And so it is with black women and “angry.” 

      I personally don’t care if you had said “beautiful” instead. But you can’t drop a loaded word like “angry,” without explaining yourself IMMEDIATELY if your goal was to create dialogue rather than to cause offense or be a smart azz. We know why you said it. It’s not like your reasons are different from anyone else who lobs the charge. And in my life experience, those who do it are trying to start a fight of some kind, or just think self-fulfilling prophecies are awesome. Miss me with that. All of it.

      • Devale

        Tiffany, you are so wrong. Who am I to tell you or any woman how to describe their experience with black men or any men? I wouldn’t know. I date and married a woman. I can only take your word for it. If you tell me that the black men you dealt with did X,Y, and Z, then they did X,Y,and Z. Seems to me like you don’t want real answers. You want to be told that you’re amazing all the time and have no flaws. Sorry Sweetheart we all need work. I found out today that my approach needed word, the difference is that I’m fine with it. I’m not going to try an attack you because thats you’re opinion.

        And you don’t consider this explaining? This is the exact purpose of the discussion and profile page. To create food for thought. This is part of the problem. You can’t forcefully try to control my opinion. lol. 

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      LOLOL. Aw, Devale! 

    • Amber J-W

      I actually appreciate your honesty. Some of us do come off as angry. Now that I have read your explanation, I can respect that. I wish people wouldn’t judge you for being honest. I also glad that you have a black wife because I’m sure we all wanted to know that. lol!

  • Devale

    Sorry ladies but they said I had to be honest. I think black women are misunderstood and under appreciated. No one goes through what black women go through but you still come across very angry and most of the time, rightfully so. Please understand, my mom, sister, aunts and wife are all black women. I grew up with 5 female black cousins so my answers are all based on life experience. But I love black women!!!

    • Try Again, Genius

      Devale, that’s funny because “angry” is how whie people describe black men. Boy, your brain has been bleached to death. White women

    • tiffanybbrown

      Pro-tip #1: If “Angry” is the first thing you associate with black women, you may just be the cause of that anger. 

      Considering your answer to that question and “What’s your biggest pet peeve about women?” (“entitled because she has a vagina?” For serious?), I’ma just roll with that. You’ve certainly made me angry, but then I tend to get that way when I see folks believing and reinforcing negative stereotypes about black women. 

      Pro-tip #2: You do not love black women. You might indeed love the black women in your life. That is not the same as loving black women. 

      Oh, and MadameNoire, since you’re taking requests for the kinds of men we’d like to see, can I add progressive and/or feminist to the list? I’d really like to see someone who can see us as more than angry and entitled.

      • Gen

        Sing it sister!!

      • QB84

        Feminist???

    • guest

      Your excuse sounds almost like a white people trying to explain that he has black friends after getting busted making a racist remark.

      Black men like you should not be trying to be about black women when the only thing you can think of is ‘anger’.

      I’m not buying it… 

      • Devale

        Not asking you to buy it. But “Anger” did get you to pay attention. ;-) Say what you want, when a guy is telling you what you want to hear he is full of it, when he is telling you the truth, he shouldn’t be talking about black women. LOL. I’m so shocked by the level of immaturity. Real Talk, what you guys that are upset are looking for is a discussion between black women about black women with no perspectives from anyone else. Smh Good luck with life if you’re unable to take constructive criticism.

        • Ladybug94

          Devale, in all fairness contructive criticism can only relate to those you have personally encountered.  You surely can’t call someoen angry that you have never dealt with before?  If this is possible, please explain.

        • Guest

           What caught my attention was the dumb answer, nothing more.

          Still won’t be tuning in…

    • Happy Black Woman :)

       I’m sorry Devale. I think you have a lot of homework to do about who you are and where you come from. With all the ish that we go through in the black community..all the stereotypes..its almost like saying all black men are deadbeat Dads, who can’t keep a job..etc. Take responsibility and use your words wisely. That was the first thing you could think of “ANGRY”.
      Do you even know who you are and where you come from and do you even know what kinda impact you make when using this kinda platform. You might be a very educated man but i still think you have a lot of work to do about who you are and where you come from… And no i’m not an angry “black single woman” I have a wonderful black “EDUCATED” man. You sound like you’re stuck in like 1910…we are in 2012!! Maybe i dont sorround myself with alot of “entitled Vag.i.nas” who expect their other half to provide for them. I guess that’s not my reality. Welcome to a new world. It makes me wonder what kinda black women you’re exposed to. Expand your Circle and stop entertaining the bullshit stereotypes and stand up for your people. Let THEM speak that way but when you have a platform, use it for POSITIVENESS!! Speak only of how proud you are of being BLACK. Speak about how wearing a hoodie does not make you a criminal. And if you have some underlying issues, anger and self-loathing then you have ALOT to learn. Seek Knowlegde please!! YOU HAVE ALOT TO LEARN!! Martin Luther did his part. DO  YOURS!! and no it was not a fun haha conversation or comment you made. Its not funny and it never will be.

      Much Love :)
       

      • Ladybug94

        Exactly, why didn’t he say “misunderstood” if he felt that the black woman is misundertood. ijs

      • Devale

        Don’t be sorry. Its quite alright, though the response is quite different than what I hoped for I did learn alot today. Unlike others I do continue to seek knowledge and grow from criticism whether it be constructive or not. I’m glad you are in a relationship with an educated black man but the truth of the matter is that only he or I have dealt with women in the capacity of which we are speaking. You have NO clue. You date men, not women. So your opinions about what kind of black women I surround myself with are null and void. 

        Just listen to yourself, Martin Luther King, wearing a hoodie does not make you a criminal, are you kidding me? This forum was about dating and relationships, you’re just rambling now lol. And taking personal jabs at me makes you sound ANGRY even if your name is HAPPY BLACK WOMAN. smh

        I hope you dont do this to your educated black man if he shares a different opinion than you.

        Love you back ;-)

        • Happy Black Woman :)

           Read again and understand what I am saying to you. If you as a black Man cant speak highly of your own then who will?

          Good Day Devale. I’m sure you mean well and hopefully you were misunderstood.

          Much love
          xoxo

    • Ladybug94

      You should probably specify “some” black women as you have not encountered “all” black women.  And where have you been hanging out that every black woman you have encountered is angry? Location, location, location.

    • Ms. G

      I am an educated black woman around your age who enjoyed
      viewing the dating chat you guys had. I clicked on the profiles to learn more
      about you guys. I was a little set back when I read the first thing that comes
      to your mind about us is “Angry”. I thought it was a joke I couldn’t believe
      you said that lol. I appreciate your honesty because I am so tired of the
      cookie cutter responses we are used to getting in interviews but dang is that the
      FIRST thing??? smh ok if you say so. I am scared to ask the second lol. What I
      will say is that after reading your response to the comments I honestly think you
      meant misunderstood but to each its
      own I guess.  

      After befriending non-black women friends and watching non-black
      women on television, I realize we are not the only ones who are “Angry”.  I think women on a whole are finally started
      to show how angry fed-up, disappointed, misunderstood, underappreciated
      we ALL are. Btw the first thing that comes to mind when I think of black men is
      swexy & confident (couldn’t pick one lol) 

      • Devale

        Hey Ms.G

        In all honesty it took me about 30 mins to put down a final answer. The first thing that actually came to my mind was “Thick in all the right places.” :-) but with a panel of 20 total men I assumed you guys would get sick of hearing answers like that. The second thing was “soul food” cause all the women in my family, including my wife love to cook. But I felt like that answer wouldn’t separate mine from the others neither. Then I came up with this bright idea (lol) to try and start a conversation with the viewers by using the word many men use to describe black women, ANGRY. This is where I’ve grown from this experiment. Since I’m not a black woman I didn’t fully understand the sensetivity behind the word. I just assumed it would make the viewers ask the question “WHY?” instead they took offense and decided to disregard my point of view all together, which is understandable but wasn’t expected. As a man with friends and associates of many different cultures and ethnicities we always discuss our relationships and dating experiences. A common question is “why are black women so angry?” The funny thing is that I’m usually the voice of reason in the discussion (because I married a black woman). Stating that black women have it tougher than any other race of women because more is expected out of our women, and men either can’t understand or don’t want to understand their plight. Most of the responses I get are, “well I dont got time for that…” or “But why be mad at the guy who is trying to be nice to you?”. In a perfect world I would rewind time and type “Misunderstood” but I cant, so I apologized and hope that the women that actually do read the posts see what my intentions were. But just for the record, men think that all women are upset and irrational (lol). Men think white women are sneaky and spanish women are crazy. lol. My comment wasn’t intended to be a knock on black women. It was an attempt to say what many men think and what no one else on the panel was willing to disclose. I’m so glad you took the time to not only read but write back.

        Thanx! ;-)

        • RubyJewels

          I am a 32 year old black woman, and I completely agree that Black women are ANGRY – angry at the fact that they can’t control every damn thing and everyone (men). Another thing that leads to their state of anger is they’re always trying to force their opinions and desires onto others (men), instead of accepting that others (men) have the right to their own opinions and desires and those desires just may not align with theirs at the time. THAT, in a nutshell, is why Black women are ANGRY, and I dare any of them to disagree. Then again, I’m sure they will disagree which will lead to another ANGRY comment. Relax, Black women. You’re not the boss of him (men). If you want a male figure to tell what do and when to do it, have yourself a baby boy. Stop trying to force your life plan down that man’s throat who has shown in countless ways that you are NOT the one for him – if you continue you will always end up ANGRY!

    • Robinson U

       Well at least your a black man who married a black woman. That is beautiful and can’t be mad at that.

  • wondering

    Is this for real? How can a man who thinks “angry” is the 1st word that comes to mind about women going to be discussing black women issues.

    • guest

       Exactly!

      Why are black women tuning into this bullcrap? Why are black women going to listen to this bitter black male and his problem with black women?

      Angry? And black women are supposed to listen to this shtt?

      Not me. And I surely hope that more women take heed.

  • guest

    he wants to trade places with Will Smith? I wonder if he thinks Jada is an angry Black woman. lol

  • FabienneDesrameaux

    *rolls eyes* i cant take this seriously

  • Nunya

    How is “angry” the first thing that comes to mind when he thinks of black women? SMH…