Shopping With the Enemy: 7 Signs You Might Have a “Frenemy” in Your Circle

30 comments
February 9, 2012 ‐ By

You’ve heard the saying before: “Keep you friends close and your enemies closer!” And while you might hope that you only have people that love you and want the best for you in your circle, sometimes we can ignore the signs that we’ve got a friend who likes to bring negative energy or drama into our  lives. They’re not outright trifling, instead, they just do a few things that make you scratch your head–like the following on this list. A frenemy doesn’t immediately need to be expunged from your life, but I would definitely keep an eye on them–or better yet, confront them about their sometimes shady behavior and see where you go from there.

Stingy with the “hookup”

And we’re not talking money (that is unless you loan them money all the time and they can’t do the same). The frenemy is actually stingy with resources and help that most friends wouldn’t mind offering. For instance, you have a colleague who is looking for an assistant, and you know that your friend, recently laid off or unhappy, is looking for a new opportunity. While it might not be your first thought, it should be a thought to hook your girl up with the contact, right? Well, the frenemy has all of that in her Barney bag but doesn’t feel like sharing. Sharing is caring! But a frenemy doesn’t want you to find yourself doing more or better than them. If you even have to ask if they can slide you someone’s email or to talk to someone who could help you get where you hope to be, then that should send off some warning signals and flares in your mind.

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Pingback: SHOPPING WITH THE ENEMY: 7 SIGNS YOU MIGHT HAVE A “FRENEMY” IN YOUR CIRCLE « SACRATOMATOVILLE POST

  • Salinalee49

            Valentine’s day is coming.Are you looking for meeting rich man or beautiful women?
    browse—– m i x e d single. c ‘o ‘M ‘—– It is your best choice for

    meeting rich singles. Our dating counselors are here waiting for servicing for you!(*^__^

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IXWG6EXEZ3FX6RA7BR3UGSIX3U Ralph

    Back stabbers and trolls keep at arms length.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IXWG6EXEZ3FX6RA7BR3UGSIX3U Ralph

    What else is new? Back biting females always existed. These girls and women of today  don’t trust themselves or each other.

  • Newlywed

    another sign of a frenemy: hypocrisy.

    i had a frenemy who had no problems calling out other people and would never leave the issue alone unless you agree with her.  but the moment you call her out on her foolishness, she would try to rationalize the behavior and brush it off.  even worse- insisting that it’s not a big deal and insist that you’re the one overreacting to the situation.

    a classic example: while i was planning my wedding, she insisting that marriage was a piece of paper. but, had no problem talking about her dream wedding and how she couldn’t wait to get married to her boyfriend.

  • Salinalee49

     Valentine’s day is coming..Are you still single???+Life is short,meet her/him at *** Are you looking for meeting rich man or beautiful women?
    ---Mi Xeds ingle.CoM- that I just really met my Mr.Right at a wealthy romance site
     

  • Salinalee49

    E4564

  • NSimonefan

    I’ve had former frenemies that met each of these categories.  Here’s some red flags to look to avoid getting a frenemy:

    1) Someone who asks for your phone number, but says they rarely talk on the phone.  If you call them, they are always busy and will tell you that they can only talk for a short period of time.  You’re the one who is always doing the calling.  They will call you only when they want a favor from you.

    2) Someone who says that they don’t have friends or none of their friendships work out.  If that is the case, that means that this particular person is the culprit.  Even jerks have friends!  If someone is an adult and they don’t know how to maintain a friendship, it is because they are self-centered and do not invest time and energy into the relationship.  Therefore, they “may” want a friend, but they don’t know how to be a friend.

  • NSimonefan

    This is a good article.  As a matter of fact I just recently kicked my frenemy to the curb.  I knew something was up when I would get excited about returning my friends calls, but would dread returning my frenemy’s calls.  People like frenemies can be draining.  

  • Gmarie

    I don’t agree with number 1. Just because they’re your friend doesn’t mean they are a good fit for an open position. You know your friends better than most, so when it comes to putting your rep and neck on the line you know who is worthy. Being a good friend should never trump playing it smart

  • ValdaDeDieu

    A frenemy is actually “taking up the space” of a good friend whom you might have–or have the time for–if not for her/him.  So ditch them STAT. Having them around is too emotionally draining.

    Is it so hard to cultivate and nurture real friends, showing gratitude & appreciation for their presence in your life, while being a good friend too? 

  • Orangestar616

    Glad so many of you realize that keeping someone like that around you, is toxic.
    Even with relatives, you still should love folk and pray for them dont; return evil for evil, but some people have no active place in your life and yes I have had a few when I was younger but relaized at a young age what real friends are and what they aren’t.

  • guest

    I have cousinenemies!

  • Nefijones1

    I recently checked my “frenemy” after dealing with her wishy washy crap for 20+ years.  I would never speak up for fear that I might make her upset when she was treating me rudely and expecting for me to put up with it. 

     Now that I have finally checked her she acts as if she has hurt feelings and is treading lightly.  I feel so much better that she is pretty much out of my life.  I don’t need anyone who is always draining me and expecting me to give and give.

  • Pingback: Louisiana Students Depict Violent Images of Obama in Political Cartoons | The Cartoons Blog

  • SoTrue

    Great article, these ‘friends’ need to be dropped ASAP!!

    I had a friend like this who would always try to steal my friends from me; she’d always get me to introduce my friends to her and then she would plan nights out with them and not invite me… wtf??!!

  • Sheryl

    and sisteremy too…lol

    • Ms. Candy

       That I have one of those… I have an older sister who is def my enemy on many levels. I don’t trust her at all

  • Slamy85

    What about someone who likes to take jabs at you? for no apparent reason. just cuz they feel like it.

    • Love_Sexy

      I had one of those so-call type of Frenemy making the little snide remarks………..Told her one day if people like her would take the energy they use making negative remarks and place it on positive ones maybe the world would have a better attitude…….People who do the jabs are usually miserable inside no matter how they come across as being happy.

  • Sugar_Spice

    I had a friend who did all of these especially tried to do everything I did but better.  Long story short I dropped her like a bad habit about 9 months ago & she called me recently because “she needed someone to talk to”. Not trying to be heartless but these type of people are like succubus & feed off of negativity,  I have no time for that. 

    • Love_Sexy

      Exactly!

  • Love_Sexy

    Oh yes MN you did an excellent job with writing this article ………I have experienced each and every last one of those so-call “Frenemies”  on your list……I eventually took action of eliminating them from my life for good……..No one is pefect and we all have flaws however friends are suppose to lift each other up and inspire you…….People should not make you feel like they are bringing you down nor feel like they are not serving any real purpose in your life.

    • Love_Sexy

      No one cares about your D@mn friend…..Go away!

      • LuLu_Slim

        LOLOL! 

    • Kimuuooo8

      My friend just met a chocolate man on Blac’kwhiteme’et.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
      It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

  • Purrfit22

    Omg i sound like my cousinemy !

    • Mzmarrow318

      Sound like my cousinemy as well. Dat b**** crazy”!”

    • Reutlo

      Every weapon, every war, every soldier, every branch. Every story
      deserves to be heard. Share the stories of servicemen and women at — uniformedkiss
      **c 0’ m — and find friendship, love, romance, marriage or even more with our
      heroes. 

    • Kim3333333

      My friend just met a chocolate man on Blackwhite’meet.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
      It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

No thanks