Boy, Bye!: 6 Stupid Reasons to Turn a Man Down

February 8, 2012  |  

As women we have it somewhat easier than the guys when it comes to the delicate subtleties of the dating world. While we undoubtedly go through our fair share of drama, I can’t help but feel like men are put at a disadvantage from the start. I mean it has to take a lot of guts to approach a woman, a complete stranger, trying to convince her she should get to know you better. As someone who doesn’t take kindly to rejection, that’s not a job I’d want…at all. While we women must show discernment when deciding who we’ll dedicate our time to, we shouldn’t eliminate potential suitors for no good reason. Many of us, not all but enough of us, have such shallow, downright frivolous criterion for even engaging in conversation with a man, that it needs to be addressed. Are you one of these women? Well, do you subscribe to one of these schools of thought?

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  • Chelly

    I used to have the 6 foot rule. Then a guy who is 5’9 won my heart. Now I have the perfect husband. Glad I didn’t let his height stop me. I’m 5’5 so I can still wear heals and it’s a lot easier to kiss him.

  • Angwil51

    My husband of 27 yrs drove a LTD pine green in color when I meet him. My friends used to always ask me how could I be with him? Humm those same friends are still looking for Mr. Right. Loved him for him not his car, looks or clothes.

  • theshlaay

    Okaaaay the coupon thing is a bit awkward for me…  just sayin…  (coming from an avid couponer I may be being hypocritical, but I’d hesitate to use my coupons on a first date unless we were already good friends)

  • therealcherish

    I love seeing a man with the confidence and swag to pull off a great Groupon date. And to those of you who think a date costs 8 amount of dollars minimum, Groupon/LivingSocial/GiltCity doesn’t mean “cheap”, some of those can be pricey. Nothing hotter than a guy who can find a great deal on a budget! That’s long term stuff.

  • Let’s face it, most African American woman are drawn to thugs, rappers and ball players.

    • therealcherish

      Well, since you want to generalize…. Let’s face it, most African American men ARE thugs, rappers and ball players (not necessarily paid/professional ones either).

  • Ifuaskme2

    I’m sorry, but the coupon thing is a no-no. There are plenty options that cost little to no money.

  • A lot of women get old using dumb reasons for turning men down. The young girls eventually grow up and become competition and date the men turned down for not being damn near perfect. Or non black women date them and Black men get ridiculed for accepting their offers for companionship.  And the cycle continues.

  • ElvisWasAHero2Most

    Haaahaaa, a coupon… lord knows I’ve been on dates with Groupons before, maybe that explains the lack of call backs.  

    As Chris Rock once said, relationship wise women have difficulty regressing materially… which is so true (in my own experience)  Once you, the man, start driving her everywhere, buying lavish gifts, taking trips ( “This is passport p*$$y”) then it’s the new status quo, and to go backwards is inconceivable.  I recently moved into the city, which meant I had to give up my car (to afford the rent, plus the car wasn’t needed anymore).  Little did I know, getting rid of your car is nearly equivalent to castration, next thing I know I’m getting dogged for not having a car and relying on public transit (which, as a native NY’er car ownership is frivolous to me).   

    I’ll be emailing this article to all he women in my address book.


  • lacehankies

    Most of these are utterly RIDICULOUS and plain SHALLOW…A MAN should never be faulted for being a GENTLEMEN and being thrifty. I do not  DESIRE a MAN that spends beyond his means, especially on the 1st date(there are plenty of quaint restaurants that are affordable and the cuisine is TOP-shelf). I’m quite DELIGHTED when a MAN, holds the door open for me, pulls my chair out and his BRIMMING with INTELLIGENCE! 

    Admittedly, I’m guilty of the HEIGHT thingy but I’m TALL(if a ROBBER happens on us I don’t want my date ducking behind me). 

    Shaq looks like he’s going to slip a disc trying to get smooches—she’s too short for him!

    • lacehankies

      he’s BRIMMING w/….

  • Sassyonela1

    All of these resons are stupid and superficial!!!

  • MixedUpInVegas

    All these “reasons” sound more like excuses for not making judgments based on the individual man’s merits–or lack thereof.  By using these criteria, it frees the woman from actually having to think about her choices in a meaningful way.  After all, what does a car or a gadget “mean” in the grand scheme of things?  Those are fleeting appendages to life, soon worn out and replaced.  The individual, on the other hand, is who he is regardless.  Are you dating his car or him?

  • RedButterfly81

    The only reasons why I would turn a man down:

    1). He’s a thug
    2). He’s a deadbeat dad
    3). He’s stupid and immature
    4). He’s a mama’s boy 
    5). He’s too shallow and cocky
    6). Listens too many rap music
    7). He’s married
    8). He’s a player
    9). He has no goals in life
    10).He comes off as desperate and thirsty as heck

    I don’t care if he drives a car or not, his annual income, his clothes, or he’s not up to date with electronics, as long as he’s romantic, nice, fun, and hold a conversation, educated, God fearing and independent, I’ll be fine.

    • sexxy


    • Raygirl

      Now I see why there are more gay men than gay women. I agree with most of what you say, but women are stupid to turn down the mama’s boy. The way he treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife. And number 10, it depends on what he is desperate for. If he seems to really want to be in a relationship with me and do anything to get me, then I don’t think that’s a bad thing. But I guess that’s why I still have my man after 10 years since high school. 🙂

      A daddy’s girl is not scorned upon so why should a mama’s boy? And as far as him being stupid and immature, what defines stupid and immature?

  • Misstae

    Me and #6 would get along just fine. Coupons are my thing too!!!! L.O.L

    Although all  the reasons are dumb as hell to turn somebody down, I have to say, the one without a passport Is BEYOND rediculous.

    You guys should have a guys list next…. I’m pretty sure there will be more than 7 reasons.

    • Raygirl

      Here’s the thing, men don’t turn down women as often as women turn down men. So I’m pretty sure the list would be soooo much smaller. Men might cheat, but they will never reject you in the beginning, at least not most of them.

  • Toni

    I don’t know about the coupon thing.
    I went on a date to the movies with a dude who brought a coupon from a cereal box that was EXPIRED. Lol. And then he asked me to pay for half the date. W.T.F! That was straight wack.
    Don’t get me wrong I ALWAYS have the funds to pay for myself and my date if need be but shucks guy.
    I was turned off to say the least!

  • tastythoughts

    DEAD AT the coupon 

  • Devin

    Never heard the passport thing.  Is this a case where one person stated this on a blog and the world wide web ran with it.

  • Common Sense is NOT Common

    I agree with all of them except the coupon one…not a good look. I’m sorry. If he can’t pay for an expensive dinner, take me to cute ma and pa pizza shop. No coupons please

  • Livinglife

    Im tall so my man has to be tall.  My husband is 6 feet.  He is actually short compared to other men I use to date.  I and have no problem with coupons.  Actually, women are more prone to use coupons.  Men need to use them more often.

  • hehe

    Thanks for this because sometimes ppl have ridiculous dating criteria. Although my man is 6′ 2″, I don’t discriminate height wise because I’ve meet handsome, smart, intelligent men who are under 6′.Also the passport thing is a joke just because you took a week of vacation time and went to the Caribbean or Europe and did standard tourist stuff does not make you cultured or worldly.

  • darkman

    LOL. Thanks for exposing the nice car thing or the 6 feet under what girls look for a shade… When a woman has this ridiculous criteria (plus the others), she can almost be sure to never find Mr. Right. But Mr. Right will find Ms. Right anyway…

  • Msmykimoto2u

    LOL @ the passport one! Who does that????

    • LearninFromMyMistakes

      The Misguided Bougie variety.

  • Candacey Doris

    Lol. No! These are all dumb reasons to say no. 

  • RenJennM

    My sister won’t date a guy if he has on dirty/messed up kicks because she believes that if he has on bad shoes, then his breath probably stinks. LMAO! I’m not making that up, and no, I do not know how she came up with that logic.

    • ManOrWoman

      Some people are idiots.

    • Live_in_LDN

      Lol…I have a good friend who judges guys on their footwear first then looks up to their face. I don’t know why she is programmed like that either…

  • sherry

    i’m just glad ya’ll put all six on one page instead of havin’ us do the most!

  • LearningFromMistakes

    LAUGHOUTLOUD@#3: “Just because you took one little road trip to Canada does not make you an authority on foreign cultures.” I agree with the (folly) in the “Too Nice” hangup a lot of us are known for. It’s a self-worth. If we are used to feeling like we ‘gotta earn one’s love’ and doing the gruntwork n bending over backwards….it’s an adjustment to find a man who feels like that about us.