Does Your Man’s Money Matter? Reasons To Love Him, Not His Loot

65 Comments
January 28, 2012 ‐ By Brooke Dean

Let’s face it, women love to be wined, dined and spoiled. If we had to choose between man with a Black card and a poor man, there wouldn’t be much of a choice to make. However, the reality is in this economy, a woman (or man) would be fortunate to find a mate with a job, let alone a sizable bank account. But are a man’s finances a deal breaker for you? After all, broke men need love too…and here are some reasons to consider dating a man without means…

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Honest Brotha

     As a man I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting a financially secure man. However, I will say that I would also prefer that out of all the attributes that make me who I am the fact that I am financially secure would be the icing on the cake not the “main” reason she says “I do”. When my financial being is the number one reason why you a) are with me, b) tolerate me and c) stay with me that’s when the term “gold-digger” becomes applicable.

    • Ch

      This article didnt mention income as solely the reason for choosing a mate.  But it certainly is a part of it.  Im sure you didnt choose a broke mate.

  • Torontochick

    Funny, it was just Thursday that my boyfriend played Jah Cure’s “Unconditional Love” for me and said it reminded him of me:)

    No, his money does not matter, but his work ethic does.

  • Jazmine

    I think while this article has sparked some great debate, you all are taking it WAY too seriously. It’s clear it was written part in truth, but also part in sarcasm. The whole “magic stick” angle was to show a REASON some women stay with men with no money, but it in no way “glorified” it. It simply stated that it was a reason why women stay in relationships with men with no money or ambition longer than they should. Stop reading so much into it…stating reasons isn’t the same as JUSTIFYING or CONDONING it. We should be smarter than that.

  • Xzdfvbf

    Every weapon, every war, every soldier, every branch. Every story
    deserves to be heard. Share the stories of servicemen and women at — uniformedkiss
    *C0*M– and find friendship, love, romance, marriage or even more with our
    heroes.

  • MixedUpInVegas

    Obviously, most people seek out a partner on their own level, or close to it.  It is not uncommon for one partner to earn more than the other; that does not mean that one partner is necessarily “marrying down.”  What if one partner has an MD and the other partner has a BS?  Is that “marrying down” when they both bring in a respectable income?

    Another consideration is whether or not you want children.  If having babies is not an interest for either partner, then that changes the dynamic.  Kids cost more than a crack habit and require a lot of unpaid maintenance.  When children are not a feature in the couple’s lives, they can alter their financial planning accordingly.

    Bottom line, a partnership is just that–it is emotional, legal, economic and social.  It only makes sense to marry a partner who is on the same page and has similar gifts to bring to the partnership.

  • Eerr33bb32d3121dllll1

    My friend just met a chocolate man on Blackwhitemeet.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
    It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=749593947 Candida Love

    Love does not pay the bills, but wealth does not buy you happiness. I have always chosen a man with little money but ambitious, caring and loving. I do not expect my boyfriend to pay my rent, schooling and food because he has his own to pay . I believe to each their own because everyone is different. For me a man who works, budgets, pays his bills and treat me with respect is best. I do not believe that black women have to settle, but we have to be considerate and realistic.

    For example, I had someone who is single tell me you could do better referring to my boyfriend. I asked what she meant and she told me well he works at the gas station. I asked her in return what should i have looked for and she started with the typical expectations most women have. 

    1. financially stable
    2. ready to settle down
    3. has his own place
    4. tall
    5. good looking.

    I responded by saying that why expect what i am not. I am not ready to settle down, and not financially stable. How can i expect a man to pay my place, his place, take  me shopping, wine and dine me when we both work and go to school full time. I found a man who is at my level and as ambitious, maybe a bit more than i am. I am in need of nothing but i definitely want more.
     

  • Marion

    @15ce390e8e315fc113186381af63fe9d:disqus 

    There’s a difference between women expecting men to drive flashy cars and wearing expensive clothing and women who want financially capable partners.  Most women I know want men to have decent jobs and decent salaries so that with two salaries the mortgage/rent, utilities, car notes, insurance, healthcare, clothes, food, entertainment, vacations, savings, retirement contributions, incidentals, pocket money, college, etc can be paid. I love my husband, but rubbing my feet and changing my oil doesnt keep us fed and the heat on.  Providing decent conversation is great and I want that in a partner, but I also want someone who can put a few dollars away per month for our future plans.  Both of us work hard everyday, if my husband lost his job does that mean the relationship is over?  No.  If my husband wants to be a house husband, will that work? No.  My income alone will not provide for us.  His income alone will not provide for us.  If my husband made less than me would I have still married him?  Yes.  If my husband made minimum wage? No. 

    Truth is, if black men didnt have the highest unemployment rate, werent the lowest pay scale, more graduated high school, more obtained degrees, lower prison record, we wouldnt be having this conversation.

    • lacehankies

      And I’m waiting for you to espound on that difference….A REAL MAN knows that the NATURAL order is for him to provide for a WOMAN when he takes a WIFE—that’s BIBLICAL!  My issue is with the women that are jaded by the fanfare(car, BLING, MONEY, etc) that they haven’t an IOTA who they are dealing with.

      I get a lot of MEN that assume that these are the things that pique my interest so they try very HARD to impress me with material things(that’s NOT in my make-up). As I stated quality TRUMPS money(matieral things) ANY day of the week!

      I think that some of you are being far too extreme—nobody is suggesting that you scrap the bottom of the pudding cup. IF you are earning your own money..then RIGHTFULLY so you should have a MAN that’s earning his own MONEY as well.

      So are we saying that IF a man makes 50, 000 a year he doesn’t fair better than the MAN that makes 100, 000 simply because he makes less? I guess I just don’t feel that I’ll select a MAN solely based on his finances and that’s just me.

      • lacehankies

        ^*oops material thing…. 

      • Marion

        Not one commentor stated that they will select a man solely based on income.  I selected my man based on our shared faith, his views regarding family, we shared the love for travel, his great conversation, my attraction to him, our compatibility, I saw in him his ability to be a great protector, provider, husband and father.  Among other things.  My husband and I are average wage earners.  To get an idea, we work in the social service field so we are not made of money.  Point is, with all of his qualities, if he was unable to provide all of our family needs, I wouldnt be with him.  A minimum wage earner can not provide our family needs.  Neither can someone who hops from job to job. In a man I want financial security and stability, as well as, the above traits. 

        And from my experience most men or women dont focus solely on income.  But it is considered when choosing a mate and rightfully so.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2DDLLN4D3YJSEWWASHFWPRL2QQ Shalonndramarie

    Why wouldn’t I want to have a man with Money? Being broke ain’t cool for nobody, it’s not like back in the day’s when a man could be the breadwinner all on his own, now in order to survive both incomes are needed in this economy, dating a broke anybody don’t cut it anymore,Love don’t take the place of being hungry,homeless,or raggedy.

  • Shabba

    Its really sad that we are all so Divided over money!! There was a time when 95% of us were all broke and struggling, i wonder what we did then? How we viewed each other? What ever happen to helping each other. People wake up!!! Its 2012 and most of you are still blind to the TRUTH!!! Your so Smart your Stupid!!!!

    • Elegance

      Those days are gone and you are wasting time dreaming about the past. People stuck in the past don’t tend to go very far in life. There is more opportunity now and those who are unable to benefit from it will be left behind and will not be sought out by those who are successful.

  • Luvaboi3000

    As a man, I take pride in providing for my family. The million dollar question is, while i’m providing, what are YOU bringing to the table? Sorry, sweets. A pretty smile and good head isn’t enough. This comment is gonna cause an uproar, but I love stating honest unpopular opinion. Women praised for “marrying up”, but men will catch hell for it. Kevin federline’s biggest shortcoming (according to society, whether they’ll admit it or not) was that he was not as “sucessful” as brittany.

    In black society, our image is sullied by ourselves. People want to be famous so bad, that they don’t mind being “imfamous” to achieve it. A wad of cash takes priority over morality, strength and character. I wonder if love and hip hop were a book, would our black folks read it?

    • Eerr3332111dllll1

      My friend just met a chocolate man on Blackwhitemeet.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
      It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

  • lacehankies

    Please STOP with these GROSS generalization(all WOMEN aren’t gold-diggers)…a MAN with quality character TRUMPS money any DAY o the week! I desire a MAN that’s genuine, thoughtful, compassionate and so forth. There are times when you could be SEATED across from the DEVIL himself but the MONEY made his PITCHFORK less painful–mmmk—WHATEVER!

    I have met MEN with money that were perfect gentlemen and I have MET men with a POCKET filled with DREAMS are were the perfect gentlemen too but a MAN having the MEANS and resources isn’t going to NUDGE me more because he has MONEY! Just because a MAN doesn’t have the means or resources doesn’t mean he isn’t REVERED as a KING! MONEY(material things) should NEVER define ONE’s character! I think that being with a MAN that wouldn’t harm a HAIR on your head, shows you affection and spends quality time makes him RICH!

    I know a few WOMEN that zero in on MEN with MONEY but they are still at home supping on cup of NOODLES! Simply put…..that’s that MAN’s MONEY and just because he has it doesn’t make him GENEROUS with it!

    I don’t SIZE men up…having a fancy car, the finest CLOTHING doesn’t make you a DECENT man—that just makes you a MAN that can afford the finer things in LIFE. I know my self WORTH and there is NO dollar amount attached to it—so if I’m out to dinner and I order an inexpensive entree—with a MAN that makes an earnest living(whether blue/white collar)—that MEAL didn’t tweak my WORTH—at the end of the evening my SELF worth is still intact. Now if I decided to HIKE my dress up in the back seat of his car for the entree he just brought–my self WORTH is now TWEAKED! 

    That gentleman on page 3…is very APPEALING—it would be disappointing if there wasn’t any CHEMISTRY and I didn’t find him intriguing once we began conversing.

    I’m not even suggesting that women should be scrapping the bottom of the pudding cup but they certainly shouldn’t be guided by MONEY either.

  • Elegance

    This is one of THE WORST articles I have ever read on Madame Noire! Was this actually written by a Black woman? It sounds exactly like one of those Black woman haters who feel entitled to any Black woman, no matter how little he has done with his life. The same men who say all you should care about is love (not the fact that he never works, dropped out of school, is a criminal etc…totally unrealistic) and that if you believe in them somehow they will succeed (even if they haven’t for 35 years previously). This is that same stupid “raise a man” thing that has been told ONLY to Black women. Enough with the comparisons to Michelle and Barack, he was a Harvard educated lawyer! That was not having nothing! There is a BIG difference between having a degree in lucrative field and being some wannabe rapper! 

    And the examples of someone with potential you give (someone waiting for the NFL, record contract, becoming a successful artist) perfect examples of long-shots where it’s rare for anyone to succeed and you are advising women to go for those men! I NEVER go for athletes, musicians, or artists because they rarely succeed and anyone with sense knows that! Men with degrees have potential and are likely to succeed but that’s nowhere in your article!I can not believe that in this day in age you are actually suggesting a woman stay with a broke man because of his “magic stick”!?? What a brainless piece of nonsense because that magic stick will not pay the bills and sex does not equal love or respect. So many women get in major trouble for that very thing (putting up with abuse, getting pregnant by a deadbeat) because of the magic stick and you are advocating staying with someone because of that??? 

    The most annoying thing about this article is that once again, the poor man is painted as someone who is full of love, good in bed, and has potential. What make you think he has those qualities and a man with a middle income does not? Successful men are just as loving and good in bed, plus they can pay their bills. Poor men need love too…so do stupid, ugly, obnoxious, lazy, drug-addicted, and violent men so should you give them a chance too? Only Black women are given the advice to lower their standards and take a chance on someone who is clearly unsuccessful. Black women raise your standards! If you are successful look for someone else who is and never lower your standards because you feel sorry for someone or because of their magic stick!

    • Eerr3d22d3lkkjhy69jh9671

      My friend just met a chocolate man on Blackwhitemeet.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
      It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

  • mike

    What’s funny is you dumb woman thinks its cute as teens and in your 20s to date the thugs and hustlers,then get older and want somebody responsible. But by then you been around the block and ridin more than the town bike, who wants you then? And by then you been with them gutter grimey dudes you have no class a typical hoodrat you shid on good guys and then expect one to take care of you fugg that!!!!!!!

    • Forreals

      So what?? Do you have any idea how many women of all races tend to get tge bad boys out of her system before she settles down with a good man who has matured with age just as she has?? Most men do the very same! They get all the puzzy chasing out of their system then they settle down with the good girl – well most men but not n!!nja men. They be 90 years old single and still trying to bed everything they meet. Stop trying to get black women to settle for less.. You don’t feel the white woman should settle for less and that’s why n!!nja won’t even step to her until he has something to make him appeal to her. Stop expecting less for the sistas!

    • FromUR2UB

      Mike, you’re SUPPOSED to have a different standard for attraction as you get older because what appeals to you as a teenager makes no sense as you age.  You live and learn.  Are you still attracted to what you were as a teenager?  If you are, then I hope it’s because you’re still very young.

    • capostatus84

      So are you saying that when you were in your teens and early twenties you were looking for the nice wholesome, wifey type? Or were you looking for the chick that would drop her panties the fastest? Most people as they get older the MATURE and what was good for them at 19/20 aint what they want when they 30…

  • Nawaz_shrf

    Money is always a Prerequisite when dealing with Golddigger Blackwomen.If she thinks you’re broke she won’t answer the phone,but if you are a Rapper,Producer,DrugDealer or Athlete she’ll give it up the same night.

    • Forreals

      N!!nja shut yo b!!tch azz up and stop tryin to shame sistaz into accepting broke n!!njas. You don’t do it to other races of women so don’t do it to black women!

    • Forreals

      N!!nja shut yo b!!tch azz up and stop tryin to shame sistaz into accepting broke n!!njas. You don’t do it to other races of women so don’t do it to black women!

    • FromUR2UB

      What are non-black women called, when they only give black men attention because they can afford to take care of her and her whole family?!  Geesh, some of you are so brainwashed, it’s pitiful.  Why do you seem to think it’s a privilege and an honor to be used by any woman who’s not black? 

      The man who uses money, cars, and his financial success to draw women, should not whine about attracting golddiggers.  Those of you who don’t have money and are getting rejected because of it, are probably not pursuing the women you can get.

  • Teflon Mom

    LOL – why are we writing articles that encourage Black women to settle for broke men?  Black women make every excuse in the world to be with men who have little to offer in terms of financial security…this is like trying to teach a fish to swim.  Here’s an idea: quit telling Black women that we’re crazy for expecting a man to achieve the basics like stable home, transportation and bill money, when we’re out here doing it every.single.day.  Teach young men that putting a cell phone/cable/car insurance in your woman’s name is embarassing and demeaning.  Supporting yourself and your family is expected, not extra credit. 

    I’m not saying women should only date rich/wealthy men.  But if your life is essentially in shambles – why are you out here trying to date?  It doesn’t have to be perfect, but at least get yourself moving on the right track before you ask/expect someone else to join their life with yours.

  • Marion

    Years ago, a male friend asked me if I was willing to date a man who worked at McDonalds.  I said NO.  He went into that gold digger, all about money spill.  I asked him if he was willing to do the same, he said YES, he will date a woman who worked at McDonalds.  Years later I asked this same male friend, who now has a beautiful mortgaged home, three kids, a wife, vacations to Disney World, two nice cars, etc., if he was willing to date a girl who worked at McDonalds.  He said HELL NO. He is in construction (which means his income is less in winter) his wife is a hair dresser. 

    I dont know many financially successful men willing to marry “down” but black women are always encouraged to.   

    • brian k

      Successfull men marry down all the time.  Not saying they should but that is reality.  No one has a problem with women wanting a wealthy man.  The problem is, a lot of 24 year old women do not like the nerdy law student but at 30 they want the young associate on 6 figures who drives a bmw z4.  In that sort of situation the man is not really wanted for anything other than his money so is he supposed to be happy.  There is nothing wrong with wanting a successful man but a lot of women want to be there for the success and not when the hard graft is being put in and the sacrifices being made. 

      Besides there are many educated men with good jobs who do not have a lot of money but the black community (men and women) do not respect these men which is why they are excluded from discussions such as this.  University lecturers, academics, people who work for think tanks or the civil service are highly educated and have good secure jobs but often do not earn very much.  These men will never get any love from the majority of women today even if they have good characters. 

      • Elegance

        I prefer academics and intellectuals. I prefer men with degrees period and not mainly because of the money. I prefer thinkers and i think degrees make it easier for someone to get a job or change jobs. They provide security. I prefer the group you mentioned to others because I am in that group so i can relate to them.

      • Marion

        Regarding men marrying down, I have yet to see a successful man marry an underachieving woman. Men may marry women who earns less income, but as far as marrying down…no.  When I say marrying down, I dont men lower income, I mean someone with significantly lower earning potential, lack of education, etc.  I can honestly say that out of all of the educated black men I know NONE have married or dated non educated women.  They may have sex with them and some have slipped up and had babies with them.  But I dont know of one who as yet to make a life with one. Men with high income and high levels of academic and professional achievement do not marry women with incredibly lower incomes, prison records, multiple kids and baby daddies. Where as, Tyler Perry, Steve Harvey are on the campaign trail telling black women to marry these type of men.  As black women, we are being told that we shouldnt look down on marrying men with prison records, low paying jobs jobs, etc.  And in recent months the discussion has been for bw to marry out and not down.

        • Big Mike

          Marion, don’t confuse the two subjects. You are equating ‘low income earners’ with criminal records, baby daddies/mommas, etc. This is not always the case, which is the gist of this article.

          I may be wrong, but I haven’t heard Perry, Harvey, or anyone tell black women to give guys with prison records a chance…

          • Marion

            Diary of a Mad Black Woman

            And when I referred to marrying down in my forst statement that is was I meant.  As bw we are encouraged to marry outside of our class.

  • Ericasmi36

    Support our heroes who
    serving our nation. Support our troops that safeguard our safety. A good place
    tailor-made for personnel in uniform:uniformedkiss*C0*M. It brings together those working in professions
    such as the armed forces, police, navy, security, medical, ambulance, prison,
    air crew and fire fighters, for friendship, love, romance, marriage and even
    more.

  • MixedUpInVegas

    I’ve had the experience of dating men with “potential” who happened to be on the downside at the time I met them.  Both were licensed professionals who were trying to make it.  I marrief the first one, worked to help get our financial life stable and went one to have a very happy, long-term marriage until he passed away.  I met the second man 4 years later, a very experienced professional who was looking to change his career path.  We started a business together and have done very well–not to mention a very good personal partnership.  Helping a man with drive, potential and the professional chops to get his career going can be very rewarding.  Pick your man wisely.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003085266535 Courtney Small

    So a man stays home woman works…..he’s lazy……….. woman stays home man works……..she’s a stay at home woman. Sounds like BS to me.  This isn’t the 1950’s anymore. 

    • 4CloverLeaf

      Ditto! Every situation is different and you can not say a man is not a good man because he stays at home taking care of the kids while she works.

      There are also men who who work multiple jobs. Any man that is driven to get out of the bed and off the couch and work is worth a shot. And if your main focus is about what he can buy you instead of what he is doing for the two of you or “four, five, six” of you (kids) , it makes you sound like nothing but a gold digger. So what if you have a Bachelors in Accounting and work at XYZ Firm and he works at a factory and Taco Bell, he is still working. There are professional men who make tons of money but never do diddly squat for his children and you are too inpressed with dollar signs and figures instead of moral intelligence. That is what I got out of this article.

      • Fairenough

        No woman should be ashamed to expect her man to provide a living for his family.  Whether it’s blue collar or professional money.  America is not a one income family nation.  In most cases both spouses have to work.  Im college educated, my husband is not.  We, unlike most can afford to live off of his income only.  But that will be for only a few years until my children are school aged.  You make it seem as if women are wrong for expecting their men to financially take care of a home. Expecting a man to contribute to bills, vacations, retirement, etc is not goldigging.  It’s life.  Stop shaming women for wanting working men. 

        • Nawaz_shrf

          Take care of your own bills,vacations,retirement,ect. You Golddigger!!Stop with these bullshit Diversions!

        • Nawaz_shrf

          Take care of your own bills,vacations,retirement,ect. You Golddigger!!Stop with these bullshit Diversions!

        • 4CLOVERLEAF

          No woman should be ashamed, but a man, “your man”, should not feel like the gender roles have changed because you earn a higher living than he does. You said you are college educated and your husband is not, so in a sense it sort of justifies what I’m expressing here. You did not base your relationship and marriage off of income from what it seems? The only issue becomes when a woman only thinks of what her man can buy her.

          • Fairenough

            No our relationship wasnt only based on income.  But my husband’s income played a part in me dating him and marrying him.  And same goes for my husband.  He woulnt have chose me if I was broke, making little money, or lacking a decent earning potential.  My husband makes more than me.  Hence, I can stay home and not work for the next few years.  Better believe, if neither of us offered stability and livable salaries we wouldnt have picked each other.  My husband didnt wife me only b/c of my looks, personality, and sex.  He has goals and wants someone compatible in every way, incl financial, by his side to achieve those goals. And same goes for why I accepted his offer of marriage.

    • Fairenough

      There’s a difference between a lazy man choosing to not work and a man who has the ability to work but chooses to stay home to take care of kids and the home.  Im a housewife. I cook, clean, run errands, care fore my child on a daily basis.  If that is agreed upon by both spouses then cool.  And guess what, not many men are willing to take on that role.  I know, per your previous comments, that you dont believe in gender roles but they exist.  More men probably object to being the home husband than women.  And from my experience most men who dont work are not cleaning, cooking, attending school functions, etc.  They’re at home being lazy 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003085266535 Courtney Small

        i know gender roles exist, thats why a man who stays home while the woman works is considered a leech or lazy. At first glance i might add.  im pretty sure he feels bad not working. But i know alot of woman who are ready to throw that in his face. 

  • Rah Truth

    The whole “all I need is love” mentality sounds good. But, in reality, love doesn’t keep the lights on. Enough said.

    • rogerthat

      …and lights won’t help you find love. Now what?

      • buzzflop

        Not true, having the lights off might help those who’s looks dont win them partners normally :)

  • Free

    Im in my mid 30s and married.  But if I was dating, I will consider the economy during these times.  However, I dont believe anyone who has set priorities and goals and a little money in the bank should date someone who is broke.  That goes for men and women.  I dont believe in taking a care of a grown person (have them drive your car, eat your food, live under your roof w/o contributing).  A broke person has no business expecting a new relationship.  They should be focusing on their self before bringing others in this mix.  Also, there are plenty of good guys who are good in bed that have decent jobs, goals, and priorities.  And at my age income and stability are more important than when I was dating in my 20s. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/nickeyaebony Nickeya EbOny

      I’d just like to say I love that comment; “A broke person has no business expecting a new relationship.” 

    • Ki33vvvvv33d1

      My friend just met a chocolate man on Blackwhitemeet.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
      It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

  • Sugar_Spice

    I had a man break up with me because he couldn’t buy me a birthday present.  He did me a favor because by doing that he demonstrated that he wasn’t the man for me & was insecure if he felt that wealth made him a good boyfriend.  If you truly care about someone, gifts & materialistic things shouldn’t matter.

    • Bk

      True but could you blame him? Although you have your priories straight I dont think his decision reflected upon you. Society puts a lot of pressure on men in that aspect by reinforcing “gifts and materialistic” items do matter.   All we hear about is woman demanding the proverbial “baller” to make their lives easier. Truth is in this economy people are fortunate to be gainfully employed.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/kayla.esbjorn Kayla Ancrum

    Wow. Never have I seen an article on here that made me frown so hard.  Stop reinforcing the stereotype that black women are gold diggers. This ” try not to be a gold digger” article is not helping. Such a ridiculous stereotype.

    • KC

      I agree with your comment but don’t create frown lines…it’s not worth it. I have asked several men “why is it that when a white woman carefully pick a financially secure man to marry she’s not considered a gold digger, but when a black woman wants the same thing she’s considered a gold digger? I have yet to receive a true and honest answer of any kind. There will always be a double standard and a stereotype placed upon us for wanting more in our lives. I have dated the wealthy and the not so much…I can say, I feel more secure with wealth.

      • brian k

        I think you are feeling sorry for yourself if you honestly believe this double standard exists. There are white gold diggers, in fact Asian women have the worst reputation for being gold diggers.  Often times the answer you get is not the one you want so you say it is not honest.  Black women are stereotyped but this is not one of them in my experience. 

        • Big Mike

          Well said Brian – who has said that white women ARENT gold diggers and black women are?Tthis made up ‘double standard’ is no where in the dating lexicon. GTFOH.

        • Big Mike

          Well said Brian – who has said that white women ARENT gold diggers and black women are?Tthis made up ‘double standard’ is no where in the dating lexicon. GTFOH.

        • Big Mike

          Well said Brian – who has said that white women ARENT gold diggers, but black women are?This made up ‘double standard’ is no where in the dating lexicon. GTFOH.

        • http://www.facebook.com/kayla.esbjorn Kayla Ancrum

          I agree. That’s why I said its ridiculous. Not only are Asian women the ones to which this stereotype most fiercely adheres, but it is specifically Korean women. If you spend some time on some other social justice sites, you notice them complaining about it.  Everyone has their burden to bear. This one just isn’t ours. I don’t know why Madame noire even made this article. so stupid.

    • Fairenough

      I didnt get that from this article.  But I agree with you, this stereotype is ridiculous.  It’s too the point now that black women are ashamed to expect their men to be providers.

      • Guest

        Expect it, Becky demands it.

      • Jazmine

        I didn’t get all the rage from this article either, and if the article was “reasons to date a rich man”, we’d all be up in arms about being called a gold digger, not expecting our man to be providers. Which is it??

    • Iuybukgkug

      Women are sometimes fragile, want a
      real-man to protect you? Join in —militaryloves**C0’M—, here you will meet lots
      of servicemen and find friendship, love, romance, marriage or even more with those
      armed forces, police, navy, security, medical, ambulance, prison, air crew and
      fire fighters! You will not regret for dating with military personnel. Just sign
      up and nothing will lose if you don’t like it. Thanks….