No Friend Zone: 7 Things You Shouldn’t Tolerate From Your Girlfriends

January 20th, 2012 - By IndigoBlack

You hear so much about what’s acceptable to deal with in a relationship with a man, but sometimes a sista needs that same wake up call when it comes to her relationship with her friends. As in most relationships, people get comfortable and start treating people any old way, and when they do, you have to do something about it. But what’s tolerable and what things are you overreacting about? The situations discussed in this post could warrant the dismissal of a friendship, but they can also foster a good conversation that could help it improve and grow. If all your girlfriends are your ace boons for life in your mind and they do no wrong, then kudos! But if Tenisha that you’ve known from down the block since 5th grade is acting up too much (and it happens all the time to longtime friends), then this one’s for you.

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  • Sweetie_Pie

    I had a male childhood friend who exhibited most of these qualities, and I had to end the friendship. It’s so true, if someone disrespects you and doesn’t consider your feelings they aren’t worth your time and they don’t truly care about you.

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  • Justsaying

    Ok this is gonna sound odd but what if it’s family. Like inlaws. Crazy right. But it’s my mother in law and sister in law. Everything me and the hubby do the mother in law or the sister in law try to do. Sounds crazy right. I can see it where you hear one of the hubby and I ideas and think well we should do that. Thats kool, I’m with that, But everything!!! Damn! It makes you want to lie about your next move or not say nothing at all. We cant have nothing to ourselves…

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  • Kim3p

    My friend just met a chocolate man on Blackwhitemeet.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
    It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

  • Periwinkle92

    I agree with everything but the team player one. Sometimes, the problem goes both ways. If you have one friend who doesn’t like to do something don’t make them. If they are not going to enjoy it anyways, why waste your time, their time, and money? I completely understand if this person constantly doesn’t want to do anything at all. These are the reasons you need more than one good friend for the different aspects of your personality.

  • NSimonefan

    I’ve had ex-friends in one of those categories, the ones that make catty remarks (one I’m kicking to the curb as we speak).  I made it a point two years ago, not to waist time with any woman who asks for my phone number but says she doesn’t talk on the phone much.  That is the time of person who is not friend material because they are an opportunitst and user; they will want to call me when they want something from me.  Mothers need to raise their daughters not to have a distrust of females, because when they get older they lack the good social skills to be good friends.  On the other end of the spectrum, mothers don’t encourage your daughters to continue to be friends with someone who is catty just because you don’t want your daughter to be friendless; in that case, your daughter doesn’t have a friend, anyway.  Plus, your daughter is wasting her time.  BTW, as I approach 50, the friends I have now are going to be my only friends.  I’m not interested in making anymore. 

    • Cynthialeewatkins

      Same with me Nina fan…….I’m 58, and my “real” friends are the “tried and true” from childhood.  I have neither the patience, time, or inclination to “vet” anymore people…

  • Miss_Understood

    I’ve had friends in almost all of these categories. I think “Users/Opportunists” should be added.

    Friends are like family to me so I’ve been known to tolerate a lot of bs because I know the “good” in them. However, once I let go of them it’s a done deal-their just paragraphs in my personal history book!

  • Chocolate_Star

    I had to break friendship with a few women last year because they were always trying to one up me and throw their accomplishments in my face when I was happy for them the whole time. They all turned into bitter angry b1tches when they realized they couldn’t hurt me or steal my happiness. So I had to let em go.

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    don’t forget the friends who get mad at you for calling them out and clown on you for pointing out their foolishness. . .

  • Sunnrise83

    Dont forget about those “friends” who dump on your belief system. HAD a friend like that, dropped her in september after 8 years of friendship cause that was the last straw.

  • Sugar_Spice

    I had a girlfriend who tried to one up me on everything & even tried to cause drama the whole weekend of my wedding.  The key work here was HAD, you can’t have toxic people like that in you life.