Last week Chris Brown’s ex-lover, model Draya, posted a blog about her relationship with the singer.
While I have my thoughts on her publicity stunt, she did pose a valid question about dating a man with a history of domestic violence. Everyone has made mistakes, but could you date a man who has hit a woman?
The culprit of domestic violence, Chris Brown’s past directly affects his relationships with women. But as we’ve seen the pop star engage in relationships since the domestic violence situation, it doesn’t seem to bother some women.Are they forgiving? After all, we‘ve all made some type of mistakes, just maybe not as severe. Or are they crazy and naïve for forgiving a man who has previously hit a woman? A valid argument is what makes you think he won’t hit you?
After the incident with Chris Brown, Oprah offered Rihanna words of advice. Oprah sternly said ‘if he hits you once, he’ll hit you twice.” Does that mean once a domestic abuse offender, always an offender?
Knowing that 1.3 million women are victims of domestic abuse each year, it’s difficult to close our eyes to the situation. But what if you meet a man that you fall in love with despite his violent history? Would you force yourself to believe that he is a ‘changed man’? Or is he really a changed man?
In her blog, Draya said ‘As far as the whole violence thing goes, yeah it’s wrong, but you can only try to understand the situation. You will never truly know what went on inside of your man’s head that day.’
But what if what went on in his head that day goes on again while in a relationship with you?
Is dating a man with a violent past setting yourself up for a violent future, or is it really a matter of allowing someone a second chance at changing?
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MimiRose
7/30/10, 17:04:pm
Would I date a man who have a history of domestic violence?
I would like to say ‘yes’, because it sounds like the right thing to do, but honestly, I don’t know.
When it comes to being in a situation like that one, you wouldn’t know about your partner’s DV history, unless he/she tells you. And if he/she does tell you, will they tell you about EVERY relationship he/she had that was stained with DV.
George McCasland
7/30/10, 19:31:pm
I better question is would a man date a woman with a history of domestic violence? Of course he would as women are allowed to do that so no one knows about it.
Annette’s Story: The Other Face Of Domestic Violence
http://TheOtherFaceOfDomesticAbuse-Annettes-Story.org
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Dr.BAP
7/31/10, 16:58:pm
Everyone has fallen short & is not perfect. Just as with dating anyone that has charges, addictions, and any other bad habits..there is room for change. I feel that the woman should ask the man if they have had treatment. Also ask them about the incident, if they appear to blame others instead of admitting to their issues, then a bigger problem is at hand and dating them would not be a good thing. If they are receiving treatment, admitting to their wrongdoings, & commiting to change then pursing a relationship should not be an issue. GIVE A BROTHER ANOTHER CHANCE!
prettyinpink809
8/20/10, 02:48:am
First of all, I highly doubt that Chris’s history with domestic violence was a big issue to her, as long as she got her 15 minutes of fame. She’s a former exotic dancer/aspiring ”video vixen”…so if she didn’t jump at that opportunity, who knows when another could’ve come along.
One of my ex’s snapped and physically abused me once. It was a very distressing incident that left me bruised and hurt. I kicked him out of our apartment RIGHT AWAY, took his spare key, and never looked back.
Before that incident, once we had been together for a while, he opened up about beating his babymama on 3 different occasions.
Stupid, foolish me…I thought ”hmm…what did SHE do to provoke him”?
I thought that it couldn’t happen to me. And it did.
I’m not saying that people don’t change, but when it comes to something like physical abuse, that’s a PATTERN…and unless the man has gotten therapy or something, I would be very careful.