Reasons Why Women Overlook “Nice Guys”

January 8, 2012  |  
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When picking between a “bad guy” or “nice guy,” often times the “bad guy” wins the fight, but why?  It’s not so much that “nice” isn’t good, but for women  I think being good and attractive are two different things.

Check out these 7 reasons why women end up with bad boys instead of nice guys…


1. Women don’t believe in “nice guys”

If guys are “too” nice, women typically won’t trust them because they seem like they’re faking it.  Women are used to seeing bad relationships in their personal lives, favorite TV shows, hit movies, and all media outlets.  This has conditioned some women to think the worst will happen in their relationship too.


2. Women want a project

Nice guys don’t usually need to be fixed. Bad boys usually do, so they become a project. Women think if they can “create” the perfect man then he will never leave them. Also, if they’re busy fixing someone else, they might not have to look at their own insecurities.


3. Women don’t respect them!

Nice guys will typically drop anything for their girlfriend and be very attentive to her needs.  Yes, this a great attribute but if women control their men too much they tend to lose respect for them. If women know they can control everything men do they will inherently stop respecting them which leads to a lack of attraction.


4. It’s all about Mother Nature

Women are designed to nurture. However, instead of doing this with children, they often end up doing it with bad boys. They think their love will save them. Nice guys rarely need to be saved and therefore women can get bored and look for someone who really needs some nurturing.


5. A Fear of Intimacy/Commitment

Yes, some women have it too, and nice guys tend to want a commitment at some point.  But if a woman’s afraid of intimacy, she’ll tend to go for a guy she doesn’t see herself marrying which ends up being a “bad guy” more often than a good one.  A good guy might remind her of settling down and committing to a relationship, which might scare her and keep her dating the bad boys.


6. Low self-esteem

Women typically don’t feel comfortable with people who treat them better than they treat themselves. If you don’t think much of yourself, the bad boy is simply reinforcing your negative belief. A nice guy is treating you in a way you’re not familiar with.  Haven’t you noticed that women stuck in bad relationships tend to have low self-esteem themselves?  This only grows overtime with enough criticism from their unhealthy relationships and can become a sad cycle.


7.  Been there, done that

Many women don’t like “nice guys” because they have already dated them and realized they need someone with more of a backbone.  Every person in completely different and everyone looks for different attributes in their partner.  If a woman needs a strong man who makes decisions and is very action-oriented, she might be more likely to find a “bad boy” who is more aggressive in his life.  With everything this is not black and white.  The key is to find a man in the “gray” area, with just enough backbone to be the man, but enough compassion to send you flowers and be proud of you in public.

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