Reasons Why Women Overlook “Nice Guys”

80 Comments
January 8, 2012 ‐ By Kschlicher

When picking between a “bad guy” or “nice guy,” often times the “bad guy” wins the fight, but why?  It’s not so much that “nice” isn’t good, but for women  I think being good and attractive are two different things.

Check out these 7 reasons why women end up with bad boys instead of nice guys…

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  • Kath

    Oh and of course that backbone thing is a real deal breaker. Like, a guy attacks you, and he’d probably run.

  • Kath

    I think its more number 1. Women believe that when men are overly nice, they’re after something, except they’re going about it in a deceitful manner.

  • Big Muscular Beast

    I treated a woman well in a short lived relationship. I did flowers, movie and a semi fancy dinner.. When I gave her her way, about the place we went for dinner she said, “Don’t do this too much because you kinda look like a pushover. She said that same thing on our third date and I finally thought that was it! Her three strikes were up! I took charge on the third date to so why’d she say it then?! Since she didn’t
    work and her family wasn’t around to pick her up. I gave her cab money and said, “First, call a cab and second, delete my number from your contacts.”. She said, “I’m sorry” and I followed up with, “And I’m done.”. As I was leaving an older black woman with her family said, “I hear what she say” and “Hoes these days don’t know when they got it good”. I’m nice and assertive guy with a low tolerance for bullshit. Although I told her to delete me as a contact, she filled up my voice mail twice in two weeks asking for another chance. Not to sound cocky, but I am known as one of the best looking guys in the area I live. I’m over 6 ft tall, muscular, youthful looking, and very athletic with an above average IQ. If a woman can’t treat me respectfully, then she need not think she’s gonna get the looks along with my niceness.

  • http://twitter.com/wiseguy4249 Manuel

    The real question is Who’s raising these bad boys and bad girls?

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  • beforreal

    I had to stop reading this article because these really are some lame excuses. Not every woman wants a bad boy and actually prefer the nice guy.

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  • Opinionated4Days

    Well, I think this article is on to Something.A lot of females don’t feel “worthy” of what a nice guy brings to the table. In my case; I’m afraid that it’ll be another “seems too good to be true” scenario that leaves me extra devastated. I haven’t had the best luck with men. Am I an idiot to repeatedly try to reform the ‘thugged out types’? OF COURSE. I’m articulate and professionally accomplished. It’s just that at least I ‘know’ these types are far from perfect. It helps me to keep my emotional shields up (while still enjoying the great sex thugs are known for servin). I know it’s crazy and I ain’t gettin no younger. Guess I’m confused. Soul Searching time!

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  • Lonnie

    This article assumes that nice = lack of back bone. There are def. nice and assertive men out there. But  other than that I can attest to reasons 5 and 6 being true. I have been there. Shoot i’m still there but I’m learning.

  • ShazzNem

    Give me a nice guy any day over a bad boy!  Too much drama, repenting for what is unnecessary, having to apologise unnecessarily for fear of them leaving…I want someone who can get in touch with how I feel…bad boys don’t have a clue!!

  • ShazzNem

    Y’all forgot, bad boys help to increase the divorce rate too!

  • Truthhurts_9

    Black love is deep trouble, how did we get like this?

    • ShazzNem

      reaching for other than what is real..

  • Matter of Thought

    I like some of you women perspectives. BUT everything that a man or woman does is not always mature or perfect. Every single thing that I  have done or do is not mature. We can all be dingbats at times. GOOD comes from the fact that we know the good in ourselves but we
    also recognize our faults. Depending on the nature of the faults is when others can determine who we are. I never ever in life told any
    woman that I’m o so perfect. But I have always promised to never cheat
    emotionally or physically, to never raise a hand, and to give whatever I could whenever I could.  I think that makes me a good man.. Still got screwed plenty of times.

  • FromUR2UB

    I’m not sure what to make of this article.  The tone assumes that all women like trouble men, and it pretty much defines a nice guy as someone who is spineless.  Is this what being “nice” is supposed to mean?  People have to accept abuse and let people walk over them, to be considered nice?  If that’s the case, NO ONE likes that kind of person, for the reason stated.  Women tend to appreciate the nice guys with maturity.  Key word: maturity.  Age is irrelevant. 

    • FromUR2UB

      Mature women, I mean.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSapphireEmpress96 A.J.

    I think that this has to be examined on a case-by-case basis, rather than making a bunch of generalizations.  I’m a good girl, and I never saw the overall appeal of bad boys.  I like nice, clean, assertive, upstanding guys; the bad ones seem to be too much trouble. 
      A more interesting question would be: Why do so many nice guys fall for bad girls?  No one seems to be addressing that, and I see that a lot. 

    • Big Mike

      Because they are idiots. At least when it comes to women.

      And the girls know it. They manipulate each situation to their advantage because they know that these guys are ‘green’ so to speak.

      What the nice guys need to do is just develop some personality, and they’ll be fine. Because lets face it – who wants to be with someone who has the personality of a tree stump?

      They need to get out of their comfort zones and step their games up.

      • Truthhurts_9

        I’m pretty sure BigMike is a chick pretending to be a man, it’s so sad…..

        • Big Mike

          What the hell are you talking about?

        • Big Mike

          What the hell are you talking about?

      • Guest

        Thanks Big Mike!  I was about to comment about personality.  I don’t like bad boys and I don’t have any female friends who go for the stereotypical bad boy type.  However, the “nice” men I have dated didn’t interest me due to lack of personality, lack of knowledge of what was going on in the world, and unattractiveness. This made for a very boring date with a very boring person, although I gave him three dates just to make sure I wasn’t missing something.  Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men!!!

      • Tomatoes

        What makes you think nice guys lack personality?  By that token, I can say bad boys lack education – that makes for the real personalty of a tree stump

        • Big Mike

          The nice guys with personality have NO problems getting women. It’s the nice guys who lack personality are the ones who don’t get a second date.

          There is nothing wrong with being nice. But there definately is something wrong with being boring.

          Nice guys shouldn’t have to become criminals to get dates.  Just relax and let loose a little bit, and they’d win out over the common thug every time.

          For example: Charles Barkley is the NICEST guy you’d ever want to meet. But his personality and social skills are off the charts. Who doesn’t like Charles?…. I think every man can develop his personality, but he needs to step out of his comfort zone.

          • Tomatoes

            Gosh, he’s too arrogant -not my type.  But this goes to show everyone isnt attracked to the same type. And what one may consider boring  others may disagree.
            I only prefer nice guys, have only dated nice guys, and married a nice guy. And these men have taught about different cultures and activities (diving, skiing, etc) I have traveled throughtout the world – all with nice guys, had great conversations.  Bad boys will never offer that. 

            • Tomatoes

              Yes, true, not all, bad or good guys, have attractive personalities

          • http://www.thecobraslair.com Cobra

            Charles Barkley is a world famous multimillionaire superstar. Chuck Barkley the bus driver would be a better example to examine.

    • http://www.thecobraslair.com Cobra

      Legally, guys can only get with women who say “yes.”

  • 2012

    As a black male reading this, it irks me to think that these discussions are only written on black blogs. With that being said, I think the title should be, “Why women overlook nice guys, for great guys”. Now I say great because no one ( man or woman) wants anyone who has no backbone or agrees with everything you say, but at the same time do you really want someone that has a lot of sh*** with them?  Let’s be real…I have alot of male friends who are married and one thing I can say, none of them are “bad boy”. Isn’t this what most women strive for? Not to be lonely and to grow old with someone of the opposite sex? One thing these dudes are, they exemplify what a great dude is. Someone who is a leader, not a follower. Someone who communicates and will not hold their tongue if something needs to be said. None of these dudes have some of the issues listed in this article. No babymammas, respectful, and etc. My dudes who would be consider bad boys, complain about child support, how the system is screwed, and etc…..Yeah, I once was a bad boy when I was younger lieing to women to get what I wanted, but it usually ends up not good….From what I see, if both parties have their stuff together, things seem to run so much smoother and everyone is happy….Give me a stress free life with a partner any day…lol

    • Samanthaljackson

      This discussion is not only mentioned on black blogs.  Look up blogs and magazines that cater to single women, or women in general, and this topic is aways mentioned.

      • 2012

        So very true and I did make a generalization, but it’s mostly stated with the younger generations on other blogs. Why do women still talk about this stuff after the age of 30 gets me. Also, I see in everyday life that women of other races date good men for the most part while some black women, definitely not all, have this appeal for dudes who are just no good for them. It amazes me sometimes.Just listen to the new Mary J Blige song. I will definitely tell my daughter no matter what, if a man doesn’t respect you, show chivalry, and has alot of foolish with him, exit fast and save yourself the headache…Cats out here are off the hook..

        • Samanthaljackson

          I agree.  After the age of 30 this shouldnt be an issue.  And if it is then clearly you are making the choice to deal with bad boys so deal with the outcome.  Stop complaining that there arent any decent men out there when there are plenty.  Give you an example.  A family memeber of mine dated a bad boy (no job, poor hustle, doesnt pay child support, etc.) and she kept barrowing money from me to pay her bills.  In turn I constantly asked my boyfriend, at the time, for everyday pocket money.  He asked me why I kept lending her money.  I gave my reasons.  Then he said if she is going to deal with a guy who doesnt work, who doesnt pay his part then she has to deal with being broke and not being able to pay her bills – she chose to be with a broke dude so she has to be assed out.  GREAT POINT.  From that moment own I stopped lending money to her and others who had deadbeats as partners. Grow up.

        • Samanthaljackson

          I agree.  After the age of 30 this shouldnt be an issue.  And if it is then clearly you are making the choice to deal with bad boys so deal with the outcome.  Stop complaining that there arent any decent men out there when there are plenty.  Give you an example.  A family memeber of mine dated a bad boy (no job, poor hustle, doesnt pay child support, etc.) and she kept barrowing money from me to pay her bills.  In turn I constantly asked my boyfriend, at the time, for everyday pocket money.  He asked me why I kept lending her money.  I gave my reasons.  Then he said if she is going to deal with a guy who doesnt work, who doesnt pay his part then she has to deal with being broke and not being able to pay her bills – she chose to be with a broke dude so she has to be assed out.  GREAT POINT.  From that moment own I stopped lending money to her and others who had deadbeats as partners. Grow up.

      • MixedUpInVegas

        You are so right.  There have been articles in Newsweek, Time and other publications about the extended adolescence of modern men, race notwithstanding.  Call it the Peter Pan Syndrome or whatever you like, so many families are finding it difficult to get their young men to grow up, move out, get a job, take responsibility for themselves and get an adult life.  That still does not excuse poor decisionamking on the part of women who choose to hook up with, procreate with or think they have a future with Mr. post adolescent, wannabe thug or aspiring rapper.  If a woman has her thing together, she should expect the same in a partner.  If she is willing to accept less for the sake of–what?–then that’s on her.

  • Younggentleman1

    So basically the article is saying if you don’t act like a price of shyt then women won’t want you. So if your respectful and attentive to a certain extent you have no backbone in a real women’s eyes. How lame. Lol you can go on any given dating site right now and see a million profiles of women screaming of how they want a nice guy a decent god fearing blah blah blah and it’s all bullshyt. They list all these qualitites and don’t have any thing to offer other than bullshyt. So by this article it seems that most women are liars. Women want boys that look like men that they have to take care so they can always feel needed. That is sad. I dont know what man would want a women like that. Why do women want the nice guy only after they have kids by the scumbag or after they are in a jam. Why is the nice guy supposed to take on all the weight of your previouse relationships. The kids, insecurities, financial, and all the hurt emotions that you harbor and can’t get over. But if he doesn’t now he is not considered a man. There aren’t any good men out here is the common slogan that we must wear. Do women ever have any self reflective moments? Women choose the man and if this is what y’all got goin on in yall brain and heart y’all will be unhappy for a very long time. I just don’t get it.

  • devildog808

    Wow this was actually quite goos and very telling! LOL I do agree with most of what was stated. The bottom line is that women need to take care of themselves mind and body first. Then find someone who can provide them with a challenge. At the end of the day, Bad or Good boy is just a title. It has the power we give it. I think there is a bit of both in all men!

  • MixedUpInVegas

    I agree that most of this article’s point is that women chose bad boys over good men because of their own emotional problems.  You really can’t blame the men; each woman has to look within herself to discover why she would accept the overtures of a louse over and prince.  Just because a sleazeball approaches you doesn’t mean you have to accept him; conversely, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t encourage the interest of a decent, caring man.  Is being loved, respected and appreciated boring?  If it is, then there is something wrong with the woman who would perceive it as such.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003085266535 Courtney Small

    The problem is that some woman, and the writer of this article equates nice men with no backbone/ easily walked all over.

    and you forgot to add one to the list 
    8. she is 16 years old

  • Nia

    You know whats funny? Everytime MN has an article like that every dude in the world flocks into the thread as IF they are the “nice guy” this thread refers to – just to give their 2 cents to every female who ever ignored them or kicked them to the curb. When the truth is- half the dudes up in this thread wagging their fingers at black women are NOT “nice dudes”. If one just looked at the comments some of these fools put up- its no stretch of the imagination to understand just how messed up they truly are in real life. One thing I learned in my short time on this earth is that EVERY dude THINKS he’s a good guy. They could be guilty of things like cheating, stealing or cursing out their mothers but they will turn right around and claim to be a “nice guy” because of that ONE time they opened the door for a stranger or that ONE time they went to church, or that ONE time he didn’t cheat. LOL GTHOH! These dudes crack me up! I swear!

    • Tone

      NIA,  you think this sounds like something a respectful lady would say? Women mindsets like yours make it hard for good men to be good to you.There seems to be some hostility here, maybe from some pretend good guy who may have hurt you. Women come to this site to complain about how men are pigs, what there ex boyfriends have done to them, and get up in arms when he comes to set the record straight or set forth the truth. Truth being all women dont have morals. There are women who cheat, who lie, who do not or have not visited a church, who curse and swear at every person in their lives. There ae men who have never cheated, stolen or cursed out their mothers. There are women who try to make men out to be “bad” because they are doing the bad. There are men who respect women after they have done wrong by them. Men do not believe all women are what you make all men to be. THERE ARE GOOD AND BAD PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

      • Nia

        LOL@ Hostility? I told the truth. You mad? Do you fit the profile of some of the simpletons who run in here throwing black women under the bus on the regular who will then turn around and claim to be a “nice guy”? LOL 
        And WHERE did I say that ALL men were bad? Explain to me how you came to that bugged out conclusion. Reading comprehension classes would surely help you chile. Read my post again. If you can’t understand what I wrote then don’t comment. ;)

        • guest

          I agree with tone. Point being you got upset not knowing who the men are reading and commenting on these MN articles. You told part of the truth.

          “EVERY dude THINKS he’s a good guy.” Highly doubtful, men who aint bout sht know they aint bout sht. Tone might fit that profile but his comment was on point, real talk. You dont know of any woman who did something to your brother, uncle, father, friend that made you wanted to…

          • LittleGerman

            Aren’t you the same commentor?  So basically you agree with yourself.

            Tone agrees with Tone…hmmm….

            • Nia

              Thank you LittleGerman!

            • Truthhurts_9

              “Tone” probably has multiple accounts on this site and thought he was signed in with another profile, not the one named Tone.  Simply put,  he/she “fu**ed up.

              • brian k

                LOL!!!

          • Nia

            I see you forgot to change your screen name before you posted. You could have ATLEAST come up with another screen name so you wouldn’t look so dizzy cosigning your own dribble. 
            Ask that random guy in the street. He’ll tell you that he’s a good guy. Ask your guys friends, your brother or a guy you date. No matter HOW they might have done you wrong they will ALWAYS say, “I’m a nice guy.” Ever notice how protective dads are even if the guy seems like a saint? Cause dads know. Your brothers know. Your male friends know. Its rare when you will hear a guy approach a female, a neighbour or a coworker and say, “I’m a bad guy and I might steal from you in the nearby future.” Its human nature to want to see the good in ourselves BEFORE we see the bad and ALOT of us don’t want to see that. Its human nature sweetie. Now go have a seat and leave the convo to the adults. :)

    • Younggentleman1

      Truth be told almost every women in hear thinks she’s a catch. She thinks she’s the best thing since pants with pockets and are far from it. They hide behind their job and education how they look and think that makes them the greatest choice. News flash a lot of y’all females aren’t wife material. A lot of the women in here seem to never once stopped and thought about what they do to foster or create the negative situations they get into. They blame the man. The women can’t possible be the problem or have any thing wrong with them. That’s not funny, that’s crazy. Everybody has hang ups but I see a lot of females that don’t acknowledge them or even try to correct them. Then they come on the board and testify about how some male did them sooooooo wrong.

      • LittleGerman

        But that says a lot about you.  When men and women say that many of the opposite sex are not marriage material, what does that say about you?  Why are you constantly dealing with women who aren’t worth much.  I say the same to many of my girlfriends.  Are you picking dummies?  Cant turn a hoe into a housewife. 

        • Younggentleman1

          I’m just going by what I see and what I hear out in this world. That’s the term that a lot of women use to describe themselves. A lot of females think they have no faults. They put the bulk of their relationship problems on the male. I talk to everyone and see if they fit in my equation. In this world you are going to have to deal with people like this if your trying to find a suitable mate. But in order to see some these qualities you have to engage them. I don’t want to turn a hoe into a house wife but a lot of these females act like hoes and think because they went to school or look a certain way that excuses their terrible behavior. And that I have to accept it. When the truth is I don’t. A lot have serious flaws that they dont address. Thats all im saying. I work on myself all day. Most people I find don’t. But if you ask the same to your girlfriends are they hoes? Then that says a lot about you.

          • Littlegerman

            That can be said about both sexes, both men and women think they have no faults.  But if you have an outlook that the opposite sex is a mess, if you cant find the right mate, you have to ask yourself why.  Im constantly telling my friends the same thing.  They complain there arent any good men out there, but that doesnt stop them from having sex and making babies.  If they arent good then their phone number should be erased and their name forgotten.  No, my friends and I arent hoes, but we are the women you described, multiply degrees, own homes, cars, vacations.  Difference is, I didnt deal with the losers so I didnt have to complain about to lack of men out there.  I dealt with men who shared my qualities.  I wasnt in the club, drinking and smoking, wasting my money on items I couldnt afford and making babies with broke men who already have multiple kids.  I married a nice guy. And frankly, I think once you reach a certain age and you havent figured this game out then it’s you with the issues.  There are plenty of women out there who are of quality,  A nice guy shouldnt have issues finding one b/c he should be smart enough not to deal with the bad girls.

            • 2012

              I definitely have to agree. For the most part, if you have your stuff together as a man, women will flock. You actually will have your choice of the top-tier quality women. 

              • ManOrWoman

                According to this, if you have it together and a nice man, you’ll be left in the dark.  Of course, that’s not true, if you got it together, you have standards and you will only allow other people of standards in your life.  Look in the mirror for your mate, not in a magnifying glass.

            • Younggentleman1

              So what is it are they your friends or not. If your friends are complaining and having sex and making babies then they can qualify as “hoes”. I trying to figure out what your point is. My point is that a lot of these females think they have it all together. Physical, education, and material but they still can’t seem to land a quality man. So a lot of women hide behind that but still end up alone and bitter. So something has to be up with them because women choose the man. You have “bad girls” masquerading as “good girls” then blaming the man cause they never look at them selves. A lot of women choose a man by nutty standards. But it seems as if the superficial wins out initially and then they want a good man to fill that void after they are done with the ” bad boy”. But are upset that he does not want to be with you with that baggage. It’s fine that you didn’t get caught up, but the article is about what men are facing. And if what’s in this article is true about how women feel then it’s not me.

              • Littlegerman

                My point is, if a man is of guality then having a woman of quality shouldnt be an issue for them.  Those who are of quality shouldnt have to complain about the lack of quality partners. When you have a lot to offer someone in a relationship, if you are choosing the right partners then bad boys or bad gilrs shouldnt be an issue. 

                • brian k

                  You are obviously ignoring what the guy is saying.  He is not complaining that he cannot find a quality woman.  All he is saying is that women should take responsibility for their choices in the same way that men should with regard to relationships. 

                  • Littlegerman

                    No, my response is very suitable.  He is complaining.

    • ManOrWoman

      And remember many many women that think they are a great catch, are not.  Too many use the phrase “waiting on my Boaz but have no clue how to be a “Ruth”

  • DeepThinker

    These are all so true especailly the one about low-self esteem.
    You find compatibiltiy and attraction with a person that reflects how you feel about yourself. Also, the bad boy can be a guy that is well accomplished and a productive member of society. He may come off as charming and nice to everyone, but behind closed doors he makes demeaning remarks, humulliates and outright doesn’t respect you as a person without even raising a hand to you.

    If you find yourself never choosing a nice man, then you need to realize the pattern is not them its you. 

  • Matter of Thought

    A person can only be themselves either you want to be with and love them or you don’t. Both good guys and girls get overlooked because they are good. I think the best way to find compatibility is finding someone like yourself. If you are good look for good, and not all women who like bad boys are innocent or good either. If you are a good person be with someone who is going to treat you good.

    As far as women being with so many bad boys, it happens all the time! What a man wont tell you is that he has dated or been in a committed relationship with a few bad girls as well. I too have been cheated on, lied to, battered physically abused by one woman, walked over, given a luckily curable STD from one woman years ago that I was extremely faithful with, heartbroken over the last one. I’ve had my fair share of witches, sl-ts, sneaky ones, bad ones and even good ones…

    and AGUESTLYGUEST that is the most insensitively insensitive thing you could say. No one should ever be put through any type of abuse.

  • 75thstreet

    NEVER been attracted to bad boys.  I knew from a young age that the bad ones wouldnt amount to much.  I didnt go for the jail birds, drop outs, baby daddies, drug dealers…all turn offs.  In high school when my friends were dating the fake drug dealers, I was dated the ones who worked at McDonalds and Wendys. Give me a nice boy all day long. 

  • Big Mike

    My question is, if all black men are garbage (according to many on this site) and it’s time for BW to start looking at other races, then what and where is this mythical “nice black guy”?

    And what’s worse, the ladies who do date or marry interracially, get them someone who they proclaim is ‘nice’ – which is THE VERY SAME TYPE OF BLACK MAN they have avoided for years!

    How lame is that?

    • http://www.bednp.com/ D&PCartel http://www.bednp.com

      Pretty lame in my book, sir I agree.

      I would agree 100% with this article if it were titled “Reasons Why GIRLS Overlook “Nice” Guys. Because a woman would know that either extreme type of man usually ends up in emotional turmoil.
       
      Nice guys get overlooked because nice stands for (Not Interesting Compatible or Ever going to catch my attention) and bad boys usually mean a black eye or blackened heart is coming your way.
       
      So like the writer said, the “gray” area is what’s really attractive. Meaning the summation of all your qualities and character tells me you’re not perfect but you are definately worth a chance at love and affection.
       
      And Big Mike us black women do need to get off the accusation that the “black” man is the key root to all of our problems. I’m sure if I put 20 women from each race in a room and asked them to tell me about their men, I’m pretty sure they’ll have just as many complaints as we do. It’s like we’re the only race that puts so much emphasis on how dating outside our race is this magical relationship fixer.
       
      Vermel Kinmon

      • Whitty hutton

        I agree.I’m not that old but thank god I have some sense.All this race-baiting is ridiculous.If I believed the things I read and see on TV,all black men would be self-hating coons who date white women and cheat all the time and all black women would be angry,irritated women in lacefronts with babies behind them who hate any women named Becky.I don’t know if people understand the extent of the damage that is being caused to our youth(me included).I have male classmates who say they don’t like black girls.Our hair is nappy,we talk too much,we’re fat.Where do you think they learn it from?I have female classmates who shout “n—gas ain’t sh–“.Mind you we’re 17/18 years old.WTH!I’m sure most high school students don’t comment on these type of threads,but believe me we are reading and observing.I read all about why black women should date white men,why no one wants to marry us and why Black men like white women because they have better attitudes,better hair,stay in shape and are submissive.If I’m not reading it I’m seeing it spewed on the TV.All I’m saying is too many black men and women have negative views of each other that they demonstrate not only through words but through actions as well and are not bothering to show some positive to counter it with.Generation of kids who feel hostility towards each other and really don’t know why.Anyway,I have homework to complete.Peace!

        • DeepThinker

          You are so intelligent to be so young and recongize the destructive propoganda that is being pushed about black men and women. Just to keep us distracted with disrespecting and hating each other that we overlook what we really need to focus on.

        • Jmss1989

          This is very encouraging to see that a young person has so much sense. You are certainly right! Women of ALL races have problems with their men. That ain’t just specific to black folks. We just don’t interact enough with other races to realize that. As they say, you are a product of your environment. I agree with you that the negative effect that this stuff has on our youth is the worst part. Stay positive young lady! I am not much older than you (just graduated college) so I know just how you feel. We are the future so if we aren’t positive, who else will be? Oh yeah, I like that you alluded to your homework. Shows just how smart you are. You WILL make someone a very good wife one day. God Bless!

    • Whitty hutton

      I can say from watching women around me while growing up,that many black women don’t like nice guys because they are too safe.I watched my mom,my sister and my aunts be with men who were not good for them-or anyone else for that matter.The drug dealer,the man who’s married,the guy who hangs in the street,the sweet talker, the guy man who doesn’t help with the kids,the man who doesn’t come home at night,the man with 3 babymommas.I mean in no way this is ALL black men(or that all black women behave like this) ,because I have not adapted to this thinking,I mean these are the type of men that will bring the most heartache and drama,yet women love to commit their heart and soul trying to makes things work with these men thinking they’ll be the one to change him.So when they do move on,their perception of men is skewed and the nice guy gets the side eye because you think he has an ulterior motive.I’ve seen this my whole life.To make a long story short I think many women are gluttons for punishment and like the drama that comes with dating a man who doesn’t want to be dated.It’s like a badge of honor nowadays to say you’ve had your fair share of ‘no good men’ and tell of how you’ve made on your own.I feel like many of our own race have this belief  that you haven’t really lived unless you’ve went through some BS.Just my two cents…

  • Aguestlyguest

    So you all really need to stop having a fit every time a Chris Brown Rihanna situation happens.From this day foward because of this article, I don’t feel a tad bit sorry for her or other women that get beat up and bruised since you obviously like it.

    • severine

      Your logic is faulty. Plus you’re generalizing. How old are you, 12?

    • devildog808

      Wow you are psychotic. This has nothing to do with one MUTUAL altercation two TEENAGERS had 3 years ago. Stop trying to feed into the popular media’s myth that this 22-yr-old black kid is somehow evil for life. Something they don’t say about true wife beaters Charlie Sheen, Eminen or Mel Gibson! Maybe you should try being alone and working on self before seeking a mate!

    • Simi Solanke

      I think it is important to recognize that women and men never volunteer to participate in emotionally and physically abusive relationships. We abuse when we are not healed from past abuses and get abused for the same reason. Not out of any liking but coming from a place of anger, sadness, and unprocessed and unquestioned thoughts.