What A Man Won’t Tell You About Himself Immediately

January 5, 2012  |  
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Men and women are both enigmatic in their own ways, but what I have found is that men are, across the board, more private people than women are. Men don’t wear their emotions on their sleeves as much as women do. Why? Because they know that when a woman senses a man showing his soft side, she reads that as him wanting to become closer. So, to avoid leading anyone one, they wait until they are certain they like a woman to start sharing these things. Lord knows how long that takes…

His heartbreaks

Sure, he walked up to you with confidence and asked you out. Sure, he seems like a strong man who probably won’t express his emotions like that, but hey, almost every man has had his share of heartbreak. Almost every man has been dumped and felt like his heart was completely obliterated, and gone through a time when he felt that he was incapable of making a woman happy. He probably still has some lurking concerns that he will fail to make you happy in some way, but he won’t tell you this until things have become a bit more than a few talks on the phone and some dinner dates each week.

He isn’t totally happy at his job

A man identifies big time with his job, so if he feels like he is mistreated at work, or that his skills aren’t being recognized, or just that he knows he isn’t fulfilling his potential, he isn’t going to bring up any of that on the first few dates. He wants to look financially stable and appear as an all-around successful man who has his stuff together. He will talk about his work in a collected, confident manner. Only later might he tell you that he has a real yearning to quit his job and start his own company.

Issues with his parents

Who doesn’t have these? He might have major power struggles with his father. He might not have communicated with his mom in years because she has a drinking problem that made her distant. There are countless possible family feuds some people have, but no one wants to seem “broken” or like they have “issues,” especially when they’re just getting to know someone.  Therefore, on the first few dates, he will probably find some way to speak amicably and neutrally about his parents.


He is looking for a relationship

Every guy is. Yes, they are. Some have longer lists of qualifications they need met for them to commit to one, but every guy, when he comes across the right girl, wants a relationship. This guy isn’t going to tell you this though. He wants to see how confident you’re able to remain during the iffy phase in the beginning when no one knows what is happening. That’s a true test of a woman’s confidence.

His insecurities

He has a receding hair line, his metabolism has seriously slowed down and he’s actually on a diet that he is trying to hide from his beer guzzling friends…men have physical insecurities just like women. Men set goals for themselves and work on improving this or that about themselves. But they don’t think it’s very “manly” to admit it. So if he is on the South Beach diet, he will probably hide those frozen meals from you until he knows you better.

That he likes you

You probably won’t hear any of the other things on this list until you hear these words: “I like you.” Men really hold back with this one. Obviously, he is attracted to you and curious about you if he has been taking you on dates and actually been calling (not just texting). But when he says “I like you,” that means he has made a decision about you. He has formed his impression of you. He isn’t still trying to just figure you out. But he won’t say it until he is certain, because he doesn’t want to get your hopes up for a relationship too early on.

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