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It’s really interesting to watch children as their parents show affection toward one another. You have the kids who try to jump in and block their parents from connecting. And then you have the children who look on completely enamored, the kids who encourage it, the children who feel fueled and energized watching their parents show love to one another.
And if there’s one thing adulthood has taught me, it’s that we never really outgrow our childhood feelings. So the interaction between our parents, whether it’s positive or negative is always an important aspect of our lives.
Jada Pinkett Smith, in promotion of her Facebook Watch series “Red Table Talk,” spoke on Sway in The Morning about the unique way her husband Will Smith and his ex-wife Sheree Fletcher maintain some sort of connection for the sake of their son Trey.
“If I’m going to love Trey, there’s an aspect of Sheree that I have to embrace and have to love as well, consider and respect.. She and Will have their own relationship. She’s gone on vacations with Will without me with Trey. Because I feel as though Trey needs to feel that dynamic between his two parents. That’s very important that he can feel that connection and feel where they do meet. So that he can feel that parental connection. I think that’s important.
Sway: While you’re married with Will, they’ve been on vacation together?
Yes they have. They actually just came off of one. She went with him to Jordan, she, Will and Trey. They also went to Israel.”
It’s always interesting to hear the Jada Pinkett Smith take on relationships. Whether you implement her strategies into your life or not, I think it’s nice to see relationships that aren’t hinged on the idea of owning the other person. Relationships that involve romantic partners that are secure enough and trust each other enough to put the needs of a child before their own potential insecurities and fears.
It speaks not only to Jada’s maturity but to the type of partner she’s found in her husband. This type of arrangement only works with a trustworthy partner. Which begs the question about whether we’re choosing to marry men we truly trust and what the possibilities for our relationship would be if we really did. I know there are people who will likely argue that they trust their male partners but not the women who would be accompanying them on the vacation. Even if an ex did try something with your spouse, it’s still his decision to accept and pursue those advances. I could write a whole ‘nother essay about the ways we absolve men of responsibility while placing complete blame on a woman.
When you create life with someone, that person is your family. And it’s unfortunate that so many people end up forsaking that relationship for reasons that are ultimately petty. What’s even more tragic is that there are people who possess the capacity and maturity to make these type of decisions for their children but expectations from society cause them to adhere to social norms and mores rather than figure out how to move in ways that consider everyone’s best interests.
Do you think you could allow your spouse to travel with their ex, without you, if the two shared a child together?
