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Amber Rose underwent breast reduction surgery in January, and in an interview with us in February, she said she was still healing from the procedure, which required four to six weeks. But now that she’s fully healed, she’s opening up about what life was like with very heavy breasts before the surgery, and why she waited so long to go through with it.

“I was scared that I wouldn’t feel sexy anymore, but it got to the point where I literally was in pain,” she said to PEOPLE. “It was almost as if I had like a heavy backpack on my chest.”

Rose was good at hiding that discomfort in front of the cameras, but behind the scenes, her breasts were holding her back. They were making exercise complicated and slowed her down when she was a contestant on Dancing With the Stars back in 2016 with partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

“My boobs slowed me down,” she said. “And, my partner, Maks, would be like, ‘Come on! Hurry up, faster, faster, faster.’ And, I’m like, ‘Dude, I can’t go any faster! I’m like in pain. I literally cannot move that fast.'”

After much back and forth over the years, especially over worries about scarring, the 34-year-old, who had been lugging around large breasts for 20 years (and at the largest size, a 36H), decided she’d had enough and was ready to go through the more than three hour surgery.

“I got my boobs when I was 14, but I would say, over the years, as my weight fluctuated, my boobs fluctuated. And, so, after I had my son, I mean, my boobs, they got bigger. They got way, way bigger,” she said. “They definitely made me look older when I was a teenager, and also, I felt it made me look heavier as well because they were so big. They weren’t implants or anything like that and so, my back was hurting me. There was times I would just walk and just stop and be like … it would kill me. And, so, at that point, I was like, this is more of like a health issue, where I have to get this done.”

Now down to a 36DDD, Rose looks very different, but maintains her sexy. She does indeed look overall smaller, and not having to worry about trying to contain 36H breasts has allowed her to enjoy spaghetti straps and other easy, slinky ensembles. As she put it, “it’s like a dream come true.”

“Now when I’m running out the door, I don’t have to search for the right bra to fit within the shirt or to match the color of the shirt, so, it doesn’t show and look gaudy,” Rose said. “I can kind of just throw it on and I’m like, ‘This is amazing!’ I’ve been missing this my whole life.”

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