Who Are We to Judge?: Is She a Hoe or an Opportunist?

November 28, 2011  |  

I, for one, hate woman bashing. All women are different; but we all want the same things to some extent. Through life and experiences different women go through different trials which shape their decisions. Let’s take the most common example, strippers. Recently strippers have been taking over the media. Whether it’s a rapper talking about how he’s making it rain, a music video set in an actual strip club or actual strippers trying to make a name for themselves, what used to be frowned upon is now accepted. Even if you look past the black community, there are plenty of exotic dance workout tapes and housewives putting poles in their basement to spice up their marriage. Everyone likes strippers when they are confined to the walls of the club but once they try to integrate into society all hell breaks loose.

Take, for instance, Draya on Basketball Wives: LA. She caught the heat from the other woman on the show for her dancing past. They automatically looked at her a certain way. Now I can’t honestly say that if I met someone that was an ex-stripper that I wouldn’t have preconceived notions about them. The fact is they took their clothes off for money and God knows what else. But hey, maybe at this point in their life, they are past that. Who knows what happened in their life that actually brought them to that line of work? Maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of Law and Order: SVU over the years, but I am always interested in how someone got where they are. It is never cut and dry.  It must have been something really bad to actually make them get up on that stage. Do we give Draya credit for taking that step to get out of that life? Every woman has skeletons in their closet. Who are Jackie, Laura and the rest of the ladies to look down at Draya because of what she used to do? With the same token do we judge Gloria if we find out she really did cheat on Matt? Or do we judge Laura if she really did sleep with Shaq?

Look at Kimbella on Love & Hip-Hop. She is currently with Juelz Santana. Before him, she had relations with Fabolous. Before him…. Who knows? On the show, Kimbella looks like someone who was working in the industry as a model/whatever, and was going from person to person until she landed one, which happened to be Juelz. Does this make Kimbella a hoe? She is from a world where rich and powerful men will do whatever for a pretty face. She doesn’t even necessarily have to do anything special, but she is in VIP, has free bottle service and free admission to all of the hottest clubs. Who wouldn’t want to take advantage of that? If they are giving it out, what’s wrong with taking it? Now I am sure that there are women who return the favor, but there are others who just enjoy the commodities that come with being beautiful. Do we blame them and call them names for accepting the silver platter? Of course we want to promote the image of the strong female, working hard for hers and not taking any shortcuts. But sometimes if you are in the right place at the right time, it would be a crime not to indulge yourself.

Rachel Louissaint is a graduate student and a blogger. Follow her on twitter at @rlovely_1.

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