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So what’s the deal with Gloria Cain, wife of Republican candidate for president Herman Cain?

I ask this because yesterday I got a chance to watch a video of Gloria Cain’s interview with Greta Van Susteren on Fox News and was kind of perplexed by it.  No not because of how uncomfortable and awkward Van Susteren looked trying to twist her hard face into a soft and sympathy-filled gaze, but at how uninformed and basically clueless Mrs. Cain had been at the alleged sexual exploits of her husband of more than 40 years.

Maybe it should come as a surprise. After all, Gloria has spent most of the 2012 presidential race far away from the national spotlight, avoiding the rallies, the debates and the blunders, only to now be put on the public stage to defend her husband against the accusations that he is a little too friendly with the ladies.  And despite having her exasperated wife routine down, when asked about the first allegation of sexual harassment, she was completely dumbfounded.

Gloria contends that she “vaguely” remembers something about the allegations and that Herman did mention it to her — but he also told her that the charges were unfounded, so therefore she left it alone.  Of course, he never mentioned that the allegations resulted in the National Restaurant Association, his former employer, having to payout a $45,000 settlement with the complainant.  But it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because with certain women there is nothing you can tell them about their husbands.

For the rest of the interview, Gloria gushed about how her Herman is the protector of women, who is so deeply, fundamentally “old school.” Then she told a wonderful story about his relationship with “a little Christian lady” in his office with whom he liked to chat regularly with about Bible verses.  Her Herman is a good Christian man, which means his Christian values make him incapable of being the type to thrust a woman’s head, who is not his wife, into his crotch (as one woman alleges).  No, in order to do that, “he would have to have a split personality,” Gloria said. Or is just multi-dimensioned like most humans.

At any rate, poor old-fashioned Gloria Cain. I mean, poor, poor docile yet likable — but certainly fragile — and definitely earnest, Gloria. Either she doesn’t know how much of a cad her husband allegedly is or has willfully turned a blind eye to some of the antisocial behaviors we have heard about Mr. Cain exhibiting thus far.

While watching the interview, I started thinking about this film I watched recently called “The Woman,” a radical feminist revenge horror flick, which tells the tale of a smiling chauvinist and psychopathic father and the women he keeps under his thumb. In the film the father captures and abducts a wild, Amazonian-type woman, who just happened to be bathing in a creek. The psycho dad then chains the feral woman up in the family storm cellar under the guise of “civilizing” her. But the reality is that he was subjecting this imprisoned woman to all sorts of torture, abuse and just flat out sexual assault. As horrible a monster as he was, nothing he did could have been achieved without the assistance of his suburban wife, who despite disapproving of keeping a woman prisoner in the basement, would still make meals and sew clothing for the feral woman so that her husbands could sexual abuse her more comfortably. Basically, the wife didn’t do anything to help the woman escape, even though she knew it was wrong.  In short, she was complacent and by default was just as guilty as her psychopathic husband.

Now I’m not suggesting that Mrs. Cain is an enabler to her husbands alleged deviant behavior. Hell, I’m not even going to say that he is guilty – mainly because that might get me sued.  However, when you are married to a man, who is both disrespectful and condescending towards women including the House Democratic leader, who he called  “Princess Nancy” Pelosi; who referred to presidential rival Michele Bachmann as “tutti-frutti” ice cream; or who suggested that a pizza with vegetable toppings is not manly and should be considered a sissy pizza — then you don’t get to play the St. Herman card with people.

Sexual harassment allegations aside, your husband is a bit of a jerk, who makes xenophobic jokes about electrified fences and calls himself black walnut and cornbread to the delight of white audiences.  And if we can all see that he is a bit of a jerk than I’m certain that you noticed it many, many moons ago.

Perhaps it is because she is the old-fashioned type, who stays at home with the kids while her husband labors at the office.  Perhaps Cain is more chivalrous with his wife than he is with the general public.  Which is another reason to dislike his decision to drag her out into the public to clean up her husband’s mess.  Since when is a husband’s lack of discernment his wife’s responsibility?

Charing Ball is the author of the blog People, Places & Things.




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