Big Heart or Big Bank Account? What Comes First When Deciding On A Mate?

November 16, 2011  |  

by Quierra Davis-Martin

I’m sure we’ve all at one time or another in our lives made that so called “list”. Our special list of qualities we’d all want in a man. Chili from the VH1 show “What Chili wants” made the so called “list” famous again. Not many were happy with all her many wants on the list either. Both men and women thought the list to be extreme and over the top. Everyone knew for sure that Chili would be single forever if this list didn’t go down the drain. Besides, nobody’s that perfect right? Should we as women still be operating off of our special “list”? Or should we only be trusting in attraction and chemistry to lead us to Mr. Right?

When thinking about a potential life partner I do think it’s important to have an overall idea of what you’d be looking for in a mate. It is important to be choosey since ultimately you will be spending your entire life raising a family with this person. Marriage should be till death do you part so it’s fair that you get exactly what you want right? Now realistically we can’t have it all unfortunately. No human is just that perfect. You may get height in a man but he may come with a beer belly. Or you may get the handsome face but boring personality. It all comes down to what’s most important to YOU. It really sucks to have to pick particular qualities in a man that you’d prefer most but if we want to be happy with someone it has to be done. I surveyed a few women and got 3 of the most important qualities that a man needed to have. I will call them the “3 bigs”! A big penis, a big heart and a big bank account. I’m sure we’ve all thought about each and every one of these qualities in a man but out of the 3, which is really the MOST important?

We’ve heard from men especially that sex is very important in a relationship. We as women view sex a little differently than men but it is still very very important. Sex for me personally is very emotional. I have to feel attached and connected to the person to even want to experience sex with them. To others sex may be purely sexual. Sex is important because it also reinforces the attraction you have within your relationship. I hear a lot of women say that even if they don’t feel like having sex with their partner they still would like for him to ask even if the answer is no. This reminds the woman that she is still wanted by her man. So overall sexual chemistry and the idea of sex alone really sets and creates the tone of any relationship. To some women size matters as well! I’ve heard from many women that it’s completely impossible for them to enjoy sex with someone who isn’t well endowed. This could for sure damage any relationship. Therefore good sex at a good size is for sure a must for some women!

Moving onto a big heart. Of course this is important because who wants to live with a mean, angry, selfish man. A man like this can make you miserable for the rest of your life! I recently came across a quote by Shakespeare that reads “choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90% of all your happiness or misery”. This is so very true! Every woman wants that man who sweeps her off her feet and buys her roses and candy. This is a dream come true for us. Only a man with a big heart would think to do things like this. Men like this are considerate and thoughtful. They are always finding ways to make their special woman happy. Little love notes on the pillow, a surprise bubble bath when you come home and constant reminders that you are his princess. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman that’s said she doesn’t want a man with a big heart, but is this always enough?

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