How to Make Your Dreams a Reality

November 15, 2011  |  
1 of 8

Every woman has dreams, or goals she wants to accomplish. Far too often many of our wishes fail to materialize. You can go to school to learn how to do just about anything except getting exactly what you want out of life. While there’s always some element of learning as you go, it doesn’t hurt to have a sense of direction, like a compass that points to happiness. Alas, there is no magic compass to dream living.

But we can use a few life hacks to help get things in order. Getting “it” together is really all about organization. And having personal cheats to circumvent the flaws always working to trip you up – for example, it took me 25 years to realize I needed a pocket valet right by the door. It makes it so easy to dump my keys, wallet and cash somewhere I can’t miss when I’m on my way back out. I must be saving hours each week thanks to that little hack.

If you’re at all interested in getting closer to your dreams, a few easy tips, cheats and hacks will do you well. Here’s a few to get you started.

Write It Down

Dreams that stay in your head will never see the light of day. Even you don’t take them seriously, which is why they’re still in the realm of mental fantasies with all those other things that will never happen like an intimate night with Lamman Rucker.

Bring your dreams into the real world by writing it down. Make it the header of a list, if that’s your thing. Use Word and print it out on an 8.5-by-11 if that floats your boat. Got artistic flair? Get some craft supplies and make a vision board. It doesn’t matter how you write it down, only that you do. Your dreams have power in the real world. They become goals–achievements waiting to happen.

Admit You Don’t Know and Get Over It

Somewhere along the line we become embarrassed by not knowing. You nod and hold questions even when a message isn’t clear to avoid seeming dumb. In the end you just end up being uneducated and ignorant. No one knows everything. And it’s likely your dream isn’t a reality because you have a high percentage of ignorance on the subject. Get over yourself, take a chance and be wrong. An expert is only a person who’s made a ton of mistakes in a very narrow field. Ask a stupid question if you need to, just make sure you get the answer. Your dreams are on the line here.

Take Baby Steps

Motown wasn’t built in a day. After you’ve successfully made your dream tangible, it’s time to start cracking away at the meaty details. But your dreams are big (and if they aren’t you need new ones), so it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. Take baby steps–handle one piece of the pie at a time. Take a page from the world of project management, and break your goal into bite sized chunks.

Some chunks may be so big that you need to divide it into smaller pieces. The rule of thumb is make a list of baby steps small enough to be done (at least started) within 5 to 10 minutes. Say your goal is to open a restaurant–obviously something that takes more than 10 minutes to accomplish. Step it down until you get to a task that you can act on. “Get a business loan” doesn’t work either, but you’re getting there. You need to step it down to a level where the next logical step is to do exactly what’s on the to do list, i.e. “call the loan officer at my bank.”

Get a Mentor

Birds of a feather flock together. And while you don’t have to disown your friends to get closer to your goals, you may have to face the fact that your BFF with a dead end job, entitlement issues or unstable relationship isn’t the best inspiration. A large part of who we become stems from observation and emulation of those around us. A good mentor is an ideal role model, someone you look up to. Maybe it’s her relationships, independence or ethics you admire. Maybe it’s her salary. Your mentor’s qualities need to be things you can envision yourself wearing. Flock with her. The more you do, the more palatable your goals become.

Remember the Lessons of your Father

A man will invariably enter your life. A good one may even be a goal–part of what you want out of life. There’s nothing wrong with a man mingling with your dreams. But many woman get tripped up in this arena by ignoring a vital piece of who she is as defined by the relationship with her father. One way or another, the first man in your life creates affects your relationships. Sometimes the mold is filled to the brim and spills over into your relationships. Sometimes the mold is too empty, leaving you always trying to fill it. Whether grand, passable or rotten, hold up the lessons of your father as lens to understand what’s happening with men in your life today.

Race Yourself and Win

We often get caught up in what everyone else is doing. We compare our station in life to someone who seems to have it altogether, wonder how they live and use it as a reflection on who or what you’re capable of. Comparing yourself to others is ultimately self-defeating. You waste countless hours examining another when you could be working on your to do list. Your mind-energy is occupied on utterly useless data when you should be using that power to work on your dreams. Life is a marathon. The only race you’re in is the one against yourself. When you start to outpace yourself is when you start to outpace everyone around you.

Girl, You Better Go!

Dreams don’t come to those who wait. You need to get going on this path right now. No grand overtures are necessary–take a baby step–go. Time is your most valuable resource and if you sit around and wait long enough it will take everything from you. Go now. What the hell are you waiting for? Go!

If you need a little pep, step out to Drake’s new track, I’m so, I’m so, I’m so–proud of you!

More on Madame Noire!

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
blog comments powered by Disqus