What Presence Your Relationship Should Have In Your Social Media Profiles
Romantic relationships and social media don’t really go together. But, they have to, because we live in a world that lives online. You probably met your partner online, so why wouldn’t you document your relationship over the same cyber space you found it? It’s hard to believe there was a time when, if you wanted to know who somebody was dating, you just had to ask. You couldn’t go on some wild goose chase through their photos and comments to determine whom they might be casually seeing. Oh, and as for more serious relationships—there was a time when you didn’t get to know about the intimate details of those unless you were close friends with someone in that relationship. I know—it’s hard to believe. But maybe it should still be that way…here is how your relationship should and shouldn’t fit into your social media presence.
Going official too soon
It seems like some people think they have to go Facebook official any time they date someone for over three months. But…think of all the relationships you’ve had that lasted just around that time frame…and flopped. You don’t want the awkwardness of changing your relationship status several times a year. And it’s okay to hold off on stating you’re “In a relationship” with someone online. Wait a year. See what happens.
Photos of activities vs “just because”
Hey, if you spend a lot of time with your partner, he’s bound to show up in your photos. You do things together, so he’ll be part of the photo documentary of your life. That’s normal. But some individuals like to post a few photos a day of them and their partner just…being in love. Just snuggling or kissing. How do these photos benefit or amuse anyone but themselves?
Logistics talk on his page
Please do not post on your partner’s page to let him know the dog has been walked, or that you bought new toilet paper, or that you just called him and need him to call you back. Your posts show up in other peoples’ newsfeeds—ya know. They trusted you when they added you as a friend not to waste their time with things like this.
Keep intimate moments to yourself
If your partner writes you the most heartfelt note or gives you an amazing speech about what you mean to him, don’t post about it online. He didn’t write that with the intention of putting it on the Internet. That was just for you.
Complaining about your partner online
It’s not very fair to give the entire Facebook world the chance to comment on your relationship fights. It doesn’t matter if everybody takes your side on the matter—all that should matter is what you and your partner agree is best, for the two of you. Just the two of you.
Three months is not an anniversary
I’m sorry but it’s not. Neither is six months. Or nine months. The word “anniversary” stems from a Latin word that means “year” because anniversaries happen yearly. When you make it to a year, then you can post about it.
Posting about his accomplishments: yes
You should absolutely post about your partner’s accomplishments! You could be part of his PR team! If you’re proud of your partner, you should let the world know. If your partner did something great and is too humble to post about it himself, you should post for him. This is just part of being a supportive partner.
Posting about his gifts: no
Don’t post photos of or posts about gifts from your partner. He probably doesn’t want complete strangers to know how much money he spends on you and, as a part of that, around how much money he has. This is just disrespecting his privacy and cheapening the intimacy of the gift.
Consult him on sex-related posts
How much you share about your sex life online is up to you and your partner. Maybe you’re really goofy, outspoken individuals who share everything with the world. Perhaps you’re both totally okay with you posting a photo of your empty lube bottle to brag about how quickly you two went through it. But you both have to be comfortable with that.
It shouldn’t be your entire newsfeed
If your entire newsfeed is about your relationship then your entire life is, and that’s just not good. And maybe you actually have a full and diversified life, but if you only post about your relationship, and nothing about your work, family, and social life, then that shows where your priorities lie.
If he’s the one, you shouldn’t have to post it
Can everybody just stop it with the lengthy, Jane Austen-esque posts about how their partner is their one and only soul mate? Look: if you marry him, you can post that. But if you post this about every boyfriend you have for half a year you’ll feel pretty embarrassed when you break things off…and write another post about someone else, the next year.
If you’re so happy, get off social media
The truth is that the more you post about how happy your relationship is, the less happy it probably is. If you were so happy, you’d be too busy adoring each other to post online four times a day about how much you adore each other. Focus on your partner.
Those cute, around the house moments
Your partner doesn’t want a photo of him in his small underwear, snuggling your poodle with one arm and drinking Skinny Girl Margarita with the other, on Facebook. He is comfortable enough with you to do those things around you, but he doesn’t want them online.
Befriending all his friends
If you’re in a new relationship, refrain from adding all of your partner’s friends. You won’t have the time or energy to unfriend them all if you break up. And then you just have your partner’s exes, spying on your life.
Keep it your page
At the end of the day, this is your social media page and only yours. Posts shouldn’t start with “We.” You shouldn’t exclusively have photos of the two of you together. And your newsfeed shouldn’t be a mini blog about the evolution of your love. You have other things happening in your life, so show those.