Things You Should Never Bring Into Your Bed

October 4, 2017  |  
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Your bed should be about sleep, relaxation and (hopefully) sex. Keeping it that way is going to involve a bit of work and awareness on your part. You know that rooms and spaces are vulnerable to energy changes since you have certain bars you don’t like to patronize or friend’s homes you don’t like to visit. There’s just something…about them. Likewise, there are some people you’d never want in your home, for fear they’d bring bad juju. And once you’ve let bad juju into a place, it’s very hard to undo. You can’t let anything ruin your bed—one of the most sacred places in your home! Even if you don’t believe in things like energy and juju, you have to admit that some items just don’t belong where you sleep and make love. Here are things you should never bring into your bed.

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An unclean dog

If you’ve totally given up on the idea of keeping your dog out of your bed, at least clean him off when he comes in from walks. The sidewalks are covered in urine, feces and who knows what else. Buy hypoallergenic, antibacterial wipes and keep them by your front door. Wipe off your dog’s paws and unmentionable areas each time he comes indoors.

 

 

 

 

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Bills

There shouldn’t be any talk of money or finances in the bedroom. Don’t bring that stress to your sexy place. Keep utility bills, loan payment reminders and rent checks out of the bedroom. Don’t even talk about those things in bed. If you’re in bed, you’re about to go to sleep or have sex and money talk doesn’t help with either of those.

 

 

 

 

 

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Family items

That pillow your mom got you—the one with the family portrait printed onto it—is darling. The blanket your grandma hand-knit you is also adorable. But these things don’t belong in the place where you get it on. Something just won’t sit right about reaching over your brother’s face printed on a pillow, to get the lube.

 

 

 

 

 

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Your purse

Your purse sits on the bus with you. It sits on outdoor benches. It may even sit on the floor. It certainly sits on your desk. There is no knowing what is on any of these surfaces, so don’t bring your purse to bed. Your purse is also filled with items that remind you of your responsibilities, like receipts, and you don’t want those things in the place where you’re meant to relax.

 

 

 

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The underwear you wore all day

Change underwear when you go to bed. If you’ve been in your underwear since 7 in the morning, and your partner tries to go down there at 9 at night…that’s just not nice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The remote control

You shouldn’t have a remote control in your room because you shouldn’t have a television in your room. The moment you bring a TV into your room your sex life is over. There will always be just one more program you want to watch or just ten more minutes left of a movie. It will rob you of the time to focus on each other.

 

 

 

 

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Work

Don’t bring work documents into bed. Don’t bring work phone calls into bed. Finish that work call in the living room (or, better yet, at the office). You shouldn’t let the stress of your work touch the area where you sleep or have sex. Once you start taking work into your bedroom, you’ll begin to associate your room with a place of stress.

 

 

 

 

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Food

Do you really know where your food particles fly? I mean really? Because one piece of food can attract a pile of maggots that can feed for days. In general, keeping your bed clean will help it feel like a relaxing place. You don’t want to see anything (like a candy wrapper) that makes you think of responsibilities (like tidying up) in your bed.

 

 

 

 

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Friends

Your bed should be for you and your romantic partner, if for no other reason than you don’t know where your friend’s butt has been—literally. And you’re not going to ask them to change into pajamas to sit on your bed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Your toothbrush

Try to avoid brushing your teeth in bed. Just think about it: those mouth germs can fly anywhere, including onto your pillow, where you’ll later rest your face.

 

 

 

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Your hairbrush

Unless you wear a hair net or a hat all day, then all sorts of particles and allergens land on your head throughout the day. Ideally, you should brush your hair outside or on the balcony. But at least don’t do it in your bed. This can send all sorts of germs flying onto the pillow where you’ll rest your face.

 

 

 

 

 

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Expensive devices

You certainly shouldn’t bring your laptop or tablet into the bed for several reasons: 1) You’ll wind up Tweeting or scrolling through Instagram when you should be sleeping or paying attention to your partner and 2) It’s easy to lose a device in the sheets. Then, you could wind up rolling over onto it and breaking it.

 

 

 

 

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Fights

They say you shouldn’t go to bed angry. Well, sometimes you don’t have time to finish a fight before you need to go to bed. But at least don’t continue the arguing in bed. Agree to be silent once you get in bed—if you don’t have anything nice to say, that is.

 

 

 

 

 

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Your phone

On that last note, leave your phone out of the bed. The phone is your little portal into the rest of the world—into work, finances, family obligations, your social life and more. You should avoid having any of that stuff touch the place where you rest and have sex. There will always be something to look at on your phone. So don’t bring it to bed.

 

 

 

 

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Fitness/diet talk

Sure, you worry about your figure and your diet. Who doesn’t? But don’t read your fitness magazine in bed or talk about your diet in bed. You’ll wind up talking yourself out of the body confidence you just had—the body confidence you need to keep your sex life alive.

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